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Arce ~ 31/05/18

tlcwrites

Mama Doe
Oh, Arce...

I thought I was ready to write his and knew exactly what I was going to say. But now, I'm sitting here and the words don't want to flow. It's ridiculous. But I need to write this, I need to honour you and everything you were to me, and more importantly, to Tony. I'll try my best, but I don't think I can ever really truly do you justice. I'm not the one who knew you best, but I'm the one who "writes", and therefore supposedly have the skill and the vocabulary to do you justice. I'm sorry sweetheart, it won't be my best, but believe me when I say that my heart is going into this.

Arce became a Wayward Bun just over a year and a half ago. It was November, and we were in P@H for one of the very last times. She was there, with her "sister", Iris. 2 largish dwarf lops in one of their pathetically small adoption pens. Between the two of them, they barely had room to move. Although, Iris, of course, still managed to hump Arce at any given opportunity. She also made sure to make a good display of it no matter who or what was moving. They had only just arrived that day, for the same old tired excuse of "moving house". They were (allegedly) 4 and a half, and just cast aside like clutter in a house. I mean, so what your moving house? You make sure you take care of your pets, that's part of the deal of welcoming them into your life. But unfortunately, most people don't think like that apparently, and it means that we were lucky enough to have the joy of welcoming them into our family.

I couldn't take them home that day. But, I was allowed a cuddle with both Iris and Arce. Both girls snuggled their heads under my chin, like they knew I would love them. However, it was almost not meant to be. We arrived 2 days later, prompt, with our carrier lined with hay. Still too early to take them, because they were quarantined until 5pm. A mum and her young boys came in, one especially excited. He wanted "Twix and Wispa" as they were known back then. The boy was heartbroken to discover that somebody else had beaten them to them. I nearly cracked; I had lots of rabbits already at home, but in the end I didn't. The boy was sent off with a baby lionhead/lop cross with harlequin markings. Even though there was a gorgeous showy dutch there, and a beautiful blue otter female rex baby too. Still, although he had his new rabbit, I felt guilty for intervening.

Iris wasn't an easy bunny, though. We had to fight P@H tooth and nail to try and treat a chest infection she had whilst in quarantine. They didn't pick it up, and it cost her her life. After that, we swore never again would we step foot in P@H. We've shaken it off. We're done. Whilst Iris hogged our attention, Arce humoured everything in her sweet placid way. Her relationship with Iris wasn't the easiest in the world. Neutering hadn't exactly calmed Iris's dominance, and she was often relentless in her humping of Arce. She honked like a goose when doing so. The phrase, "Iris, stop humping your sister!" became commonplace. But Arce still loved her wholeheartedly and it always showed.

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After Iris's death, Arce lived alone for 3 or so weeks as we waited for our chosen Honeybunny to be ready (Niji.) However, by the end of that, she was beginning to get a little low. Niji was meant to be ready and we headed up to Honeybunnies - but on our way, Niji had fallen unwell again. So, instead, we picked up a little (mostly) white rabbit, who we dubbed Yuki Winter. For Yuki, Arce was absolutely love at first sight. They were in the bonding crate and he just kept grooming and grooming her. No humping for dominance, just love.

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Over this time, Arce's character began to show more. She enjoyed playing games, tossing sticks and plastic cups. It was over this that she particularly began to bond with Daddy. He was the only one worthy of giving her noserubs. She would actively push up her nose to push my hand out of the way. She would settle happily in his arms, but squirm in mine. He was the one who spoiled her, who gave her treats and played games with her. I was just the food dispenser.

When Niji was ready, 2 became 3. He was a little bit of an outsider, and Yuki would occasionally chase him for fun. (He still does.) But Arce loved being in charge of her two boys. From being the soft submissive one, she became the authority of the group and blossomed with confidence with it.

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For a while Daddy had to move out, and Arce was furious with him. And I mean furious. When he was around, she'd only let him have short cuddles before kicking her heels and running off. Tony was scared that she would never forgive him for that transgression which absolutely wasn't his fault. But how do you explain family drama to a rabbit? It was also around that time when Morningstar and Elphie became part of the group. Whilst Yuki doted on Arce, Elphie was like the missing piece that had been gone since Iris left for the Bridge. Elphie and Arce bonded very closely and were often found together, taking comfort in one another. Elphie even started dead bunny flopping again! Part of me believes that Elphie saw something of Galinda in Arce, and Arce saw something of Iris in Elphie. As a consequence, they became sort of co-matriach of their little rabble of 5.
 
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Daddy then came back, and Arce still held a grudge against him. Over a couple of months, she slowly began to forgive him until in the past 8 weeks or so, just after her stasis episode, she was once more the soft, soppy, Daddy's Lala that she had been before. He spoiled her (and Elphie) rotten, always sneaking her extra pellets, or Fibafirst, or bramble or leaves from Iris's tayberry and raspberry bushes for them. She got through the stasis, but gradually began to show less interest in hay and grasses, only really getting excited about dinner time - pellets, forage, fresh veg. She was drinking a lot more too. And drooling too. It's funny how you can notice the flaws in health so much easier when it is all, officially, in the past. Then again, they say that hindsight is always 20/20.

Last weekend, Daddy was at his parents with his (our) daughter. I couldn't go because I was full of cold and his mum gets weird about people visiting with colds. Instead, I was watching our lovely Arce. She looked so sad, so dejected, so depressed that I knew I had to have "that" conversation with Tony as soon as he go back. Another, even smaller, part of me worried that I was going to wake up, and she was gone, and have to break the news over the phone.

She rallied a bit and was the Daddy's Lala again, almost as soon as he got back. I still had "that" conversation with him. And when we took Niji to the vets for his Nobivac, we took the whole group. We saw Z, one of our excellent rabbit-savvy vets. She was the one who predominantly helped with Arce's treatment for stasis. She was the one who had deemed her inoperable at 2.2kg during that stasis episode. And, kindly, she gave Arce a quick once over and we had her weighed. She was only 1.8kg, lighter even than my little Niji-Potato. We discussed options, palliative care, and all that and took them home.

At home, we offered her some fresh grass. Elphie dove right into it, often eating 5 blades in one go. Arce just played around with it, showing very little interest. Fresh grass, obviously, is a great "treat" compared to the standard hay, which she used to love, too. It was then that we realised it was probably time for her to be reunited with Iris. After all, whilst she was still showing some enjoyment for life, especially at mealtimes, for the most part, her quality of life was degrading. If she was refusing most hay/grass offered to her, and only playing with it or eating a few blades, then there was no chance of getting weight back on her, to be able to make it safe to sedate her for x-rays, or to go under for operations if that was what was necessary.

Ultimately, I left it to Daddy to call the shots, and just expressed my opinion. And my opinion was mostly what Arce was expressing herself, in body language, grinding her teeth on thin air, somewhat grimacing. Their souls are intertwined, they are (and were) on the same wavelength, they loved and thrived in one another's company. After making the call, Tony burst into tears. He said, once, that he would never cry over the death of a rabbit. And there he was, with tears streaming down his face. It hadn't even happened yet.

We arrived at the vets a little early, and they were running late. Several people peeped in the carrier, and commented on how beautiful she was. We took her out of the carrier, and cuddled her in the reception. She just laid against her daddy's chest and occasionally looked around. All these people complimenting her, and I knew what was about to happen. I knew what was to come. I knew that soon, her spirit would be going to the Bridge. And I wish, I so wish, that she'd just been there for vaccinations, with the rest of her motley crew. I wish that she'd been in full health, full bodied, and at her best. But even in her frail state, she still looked like the loveliest, albeit tiny compared to what she should have been, thing.

Z was there to help guide her - and us - again. I'm so glad, and so grateful for that. Z was a bit quiet and a bit grim about it, but absolutely supportive and wonderfully kind to our lovely, lovely Arce. She briefly got a little bit more spirited in the consultation room, and bit me on the shoulder. Just like Iris, who bit me under the chin, just before we said farewell to her.

Arce slipped away quietly and peacefully. She had the hands of all 3 of us - Z, myself, and most importantly, her daddy. I stroked her chest as she left, feeling as the last few breaths left her body, and could tell the moment that she had passed away. We held it together then, until we had returned to the reception to pay the bills. Then, I crumbled. I couldn't help it. I told myself I wouldn't because she was so much of a daddy's girl, and it wasn't fair on Tony for me to be the one crying. The air felt charged as we were taking her body home. Maybe Iris and Arce were just there, being reunited after 1 year, 2 months, and 1 week apart. Maybe they were glad to be together again, and maybe they are just watching over us right now in spirit. I hope so.

Arce has been buried in a (huge) plant pot to match her "sister", Iris's. Iris has tayberries and raspberries planted in her pot. Arce, to match, now has 2 loganberry plants to nurture. They will continue to give us the gifts of their fruits, and our rabbits, the gift of their leaves.

And the final irony is, that these 2 special loplets were surrendered because of the "owners" moving house. Wherever we go, wherever we end up, we'll be taking Iris and Arce with us. We will be saying hello to them in the mornings and good night at night. They will always be a part of our life, in body and in spirit.

I hope and think, they finally found that true home for life. I really do.

Arce: you are a wonderful little rabbit. So gentle, so tolerant. You taught your daddy about the absolute wonders of being a rabbit guardian, and how much love that you and your kind can share. You matched your soul to his and followed him step by step. You guided him down that weird and wonderful path into that special space of just knowing how incredible rabbits are. I may have been "only" Mum, and never quite as magical in your eyes as he was, but how can I not be grateful to you? You turned that country bumpkin who swore rabbits were solely pests and a farmer's bane, to a proud rabbit daddy. You've given him a new passion, and for that I can only say thank you.

I love you to the moon and back, sweet Arce. Go be that double rainbow to Iris's rainbow once more.

xxxxxxx

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Oh no, I'm so sorry to see that Arce has left us. :cry:

T, no one could have written a more beautiful tribute. I grieve with you both over your loss. Kind hugs and gentle thoughts to you all. Sleep well, sweet Arce. xxxxx
 
It's weird... the atmosphere is all strange. The buns miss Arce. Yuki and Elphie are taking comfort in one another. But apart from them, it's OH I worry about. Nothing will heal the loss of his Lady.
 
I'm so sorry beautiful Arce had to leave you. What a beautiful loving tribute, it brought me to tears. The love you had for her and all your buns shines through sp brightly in your tribute. Sorry for your loss xx
 
I'm so very sorry for your loss, and for all of you. This is a beautiful moving tribute to a very much loved bunny. Binky free little one xxxxx
 
I was so sorry to read this . The tribute is lovely. She had a fantastic life with you and that is the memory she would have taken with her xxx
 
So very sorry for your loss but what a beautiful tribute to such a beautiful bunny xx

Binky free forever at the Bridge Arce all well again xx
 
A beautifully moving tribute to a beautiful girl.

Binky Free Arce, reunited with Iris.xx
 
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