Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 16

Thread: Grief and guilt over loss of my rabbit Ebony

  1. #1

    Default Grief and guilt over loss of my rabbit Ebony

    Hi all
    I have never posted on any chat forum before but I really need to get this off my chest as I feel like I am going crazy.
    So my lovely rescue lionhead Ebony had been not herself for a couple of days and not eating or drinking for a day. She is 9 and bonded with another rescue domestic Nimbus who's 8. The thing is I knew in my heart she was dying but instead of letting nature take it's course I took her to the vet this morning as I had to be sure she couldn't be made better. So the vet was very kind and said she was an old rabbit who had had a long healthy life but she didn't have long left so he strongly advised putting her to sleep. I was just floored, broke down in the vets, seriously couldn't quite believe how upset I was. I did question whether I shouldn't bring her home to Nimbus to die but he again advised it was best to leave her at the vets. So having gone outside the vets to get fresh air my husband was just pulling up to meet me and I let him go back in to arrange it. But of course now I realise it was the worse thing to do and Nimbus is just running around looking for her and I am just doubly heartbroken. I am giving him lots of attention, treats and a cuddly toy but I can't now get the guilt out of my head. To be honest my family think I have gone a bit mad.
    Does anyone understand?
    Thanks for your time
    Liz

  2. #2
    Wise Old Thumper Jack's-Jane's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Back Under my Stone :-)
    Posts
    133,401

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by liz99 View Post
    Hi all
    I have never posted on any chat forum before but I really need to get this off my chest as I feel like I am going crazy.
    So my lovely rescue lionhead Ebony had been not herself for a couple of days and not eating or drinking for a day. She is 9 and bonded with another rescue domestic Nimbus who's 8. The thing is I knew in my heart she was dying but instead of letting nature take it's course I took her to the vet this morning as I had to be sure she couldn't be made better. So the vet was very kind and said she was an old rabbit who had had a long healthy life but she didn't have long left so he strongly advised putting her to sleep. I was just floored, broke down in the vets, seriously couldn't quite believe how upset I was. I did question whether I shouldn't bring her home to Nimbus to die but he again advised it was best to leave her at the vets. So having gone outside the vets to get fresh air my husband was just pulling up to meet me and I let him go back in to arrange it. But of course now I realise it was the worse thing to do and Nimbus is just running around looking for her and I am just doubly heartbroken. I am giving him lots of attention, treats and a cuddly toy but I can't now get the guilt out of my head. To be honest my family think I have gone a bit mad.
    Does anyone understand?
    Thanks for your time
    Liz
    Hello Liz

    I am so very sorry to read of your loss of Ebony. Having her PTS will have spared her potential suffering as her major organs closed down. I know that guilt often comes with the territory when we lose a much loved Pet. After all we are the ones totally responsible for them. I recently lost one of my Rabbits and I too feel guilty and that I must have gotten something wrong. But I am sure that any decisions you made were made with Ebony's best interests at heart. You sought professional Veterinary advice. None of us can do any more than our best at any given time. Do try to be kind to yourself.

    With regards to Nimbus, it may help to make a few subtle changes to his living environment. New things to investigate. Is he a house Rabbit or does he live outdoors ? If the latter would it be possible to bring him in to live amongst his human family ?

    Once again. I am so very sorry for your loss xx



    A Rabbit Savvy small animal Veterinary Surgery in Twickenham, SW London
    https://www.twickenhamvets.com/

    A map giving up to date, well researched and reliable details about reported cases of RHD2 within the UK. The map also gives details of locations of Vets reported to have access to the RHD2 Vaccine

    http://rhd2map.buntools.org.uk/

  3. #3
    Warren Scout JuliaW's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Location
    Northumberland
    Posts
    268

    Default

    Hi Liz. It's so hard not to feel guilty when faced with this decision not just for Ebony but for Nimbus too. It is the hardest, kindest, decision to make. You took your vet's advice and you knew in your heart she was not going to get better. It's still very new and of course you will be grieving. Try and focus on Nimbus and to make this transition as easy as possible for him. Spend lots of time with him, distract him with treats. It sounds like Ebony had a long and happy life and that she was loved. I hope things get easier for you soon. I do know how this feels as will many others on this forum. X

    Sent from my SM-G361F using Tapatalk

  4. #4

    Default

    Thank you both for replying so soon and your kind words. I think that's what I was looking for really someone to tell me I had done the right thing at the time.
    Nimbus is an outdoor rabbit and I have just been out in the garden with him and he is now sitting in the sun in his run. I'm not sure if bringing him indoors would be ideal (we have a cat). I will get him some new toys and in the meantime he has a good old cardboard box to chew. Once again thank you - you have really made me feel better. x

  5. #5
    Warren Veteran
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Lancashire
    Posts
    9,339

    Default

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand & I'm sure pretty much everyone on here will too. Its normal to doubt every action we take & guilt is a normal part of grieving. It sounds like Ebony was a well cared for bunny & you allowed her the dignity of passing peacefully. Sweet dreams little one

  6. #6
    Alpha Buck louise200's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    Berkshire
    Posts
    917

    Default

    Hi there, I’m so sorry for your loss. I think you made the best, very hard, very selfless decision under veterinary guidance and it’s only natural to think ‘what if’ and that’s normal and part of the healing process. X

    I had to do the same a few months back and I questioned myself too, but in my heart I believe it was the right thing to do and I don’t regret it now. I feel these decisions are based on so many factors, degree of suffering to come, ability to manage treatments, quality of life, finances.. Please be kind to yourself, 9 Years is amazing! Big hugs xx

  7. #7
    Wise Old Thumper MightyMax's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    36,353

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by liz99 View Post
    Hi all
    I have never posted on any chat forum before but I really need to get this off my chest as I feel like I am going crazy.
    So my lovely rescue lionhead Ebony had been not herself for a couple of days and not eating or drinking for a day. She is 9 and bonded with another rescue domestic Nimbus who's 8. The thing is I knew in my heart she was dying but instead of letting nature take it's course I took her to the vet this morning as I had to be sure she couldn't be made better. So the vet was very kind and said she was an old rabbit who had had a long healthy life but she didn't have long left so he strongly advised putting her to sleep. I was just floored, broke down in the vets, seriously couldn't quite believe how upset I was. I did question whether I shouldn't bring her home to Nimbus to die but he again advised it was best to leave her at the vets. So having gone outside the vets to get fresh air my husband was just pulling up to meet me and I let him go back in to arrange it. But of course now I realise it was the worse thing to do and Nimbus is just running around looking for her and I am just doubly heartbroken. I am giving him lots of attention, treats and a cuddly toy but I can't now get the guilt out of my head. To be honest my family think I have gone a bit mad.
    Does anyone understand?
    Thanks for your time
    Liz

    Welcome to the Forum liz, and it's lovely to have you here.

    But I am so sorry to hear about your loss of Ebony. I totally understand and it's a heartbreaking decision.

    Your instinct was a good one, as you wanted Nimbus to know what was going on. The vet might have suggested that after she was put to sleep in the surgery that you brought the body home for Nimbus to see. It's something to think about for the future, if it's at all possible, as then it becomes clear to the one left behind that their little friend won't be playing with them any more.

    We can only take the advice of veterinary professionals, as although we see our rabbits day in and day out, a vet can assess what needs to be done and advise. You spared her any significant suffering, but it was at a cost to yourself. A selfless decision on your part.

    Regards Nimbus, I think giving him some human attention is the best thing you can do. He will be craving attention and reassurance and I am sure you will give him whatever he needs until he realises that his darling Ebony isn't coming home.

    Loads of hugs xx

  8. #8

    Default

    Thank you I know now I did the right thing and the questioning comes with the grief. It's just hard seeing Nimbus on his own but I do take comfort that they had a long happy life together.

  9. #9
    Wise Old Thumper
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Posts
    11,852

    Default

    I am very sorry to read about your loss of Ebony Most of us will completely understand how you are feeling. Sending nose rubs to Nimbus. They certainly had a long and happy life together.

  10. #10
    Warren Scout Craig 1965's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Location
    Ipswich
    Posts
    470

    Default

    Liz, This is a very sad way to join the forum and firstly I am so deeply sorry to hear of the sad loss of Ebony. As many others have said in previous posts, the grief you feel is natural and is painful because you are a loving, caring owner who only wanted the best for your rabbits. Sadly we must accept as guardians, that our bunny companions will sadly have to leave us and none of us here will wish that they would. We all have stories similar and all of us share the same pain. That might be little comfort to you now, but perhaps knowing what you are going through is what others have gone through, might help you feel as though you are not alone. A bonded relationship is a special one and it will be hard seeing Nimbus looking for Ebony. I share Mighty Max's view that perhaps if the vet had released Ebony to bring home, you could have let Nimbus see Ebony and share some time. As strange as that sounds, it helps with grieving pets to see. I had a bonded pair and the female, Georgina, passed one evening. We left her with her hus-bun Ben so he could try to make some understanding. There is quite a belief in that. Inmy opinion you were right to take Ebony to the vet and as has been said, the vet looks objectively at the medical situation and to aleviate any suffering, PTS was deemed the appropriate action. It is never ever easy to take that decision and I have lost pets that way. I am sure we all have and we will also feel the same. But you gave Ebony a wonderful happy and fulfilled life with Nimbus. Her memory will live on in your heart and also that of Nimbus. To help Numbus, perhaps look to get a small cuddle toy for him to snuggle up with. Make sure he gets extra cuddles and oodles of love in much the same way as we would do with grieving friends and relations. He needs your love and it will help him very much. Once again, so sorry to hear of the loss and I hope that Nimbus, in time, comes to terms with the situation and maybe at some point find a new partner for him.

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •