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Thread: Grief and guilt over loss of my rabbit Ebony

  1. #11

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    I think this was my real guilt that if I had been more together at the vets I would have asked to bring Ebony back home to Nimbus after being pts so he could understand as it's only natural that he would be confused and surely animals grieve like humans. The vet was kind but maybe more used to dogs and cats then bonded rabbits. I have given Nimbus lots of attention and a cuddly toy to sleep with which I hope helps him a little. I know I will be so sad in the morning seeing just Nimbus but I will concentrate on looking after him now and try to forget the 'what ifs'. It has been lovely to hear from people who understand my grief - it has really helped me get through today. Bless you all x

  2. #12
    Wise Old Thumper MightyMax's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by liz99 View Post
    I think this was my real guilt that if I had been more together at the vets I would have asked to bring Ebony back home to Nimbus after being pts so he could understand as it's only natural that he would be confused and surely animals grieve like humans. The vet was kind but maybe more used to dogs and cats then bonded rabbits. I have given Nimbus lots of attention and a cuddly toy to sleep with which I hope helps him a little. I know I will be so sad in the morning seeing just Nimbus but I will concentrate on looking after him now and try to forget the 'what ifs'. It has been lovely to hear from people who understand my grief - it has really helped me get through today. Bless you all x

    And bless you too, you've done so well and as you say, you have got through today.

    We learn through these experiences. I wish I had emerged as an all-knowing fully-fledged bunny owner but it didn't happen like that. I think we've all got regrets and what ifs. But we learn and that's the important thing

    I'm so glad you're here. Vets try to do the best thing. Often they think that rabbit owners don't have the same attachment to their pets as cats and dogs. And also they try and protect you from pain, but on this occasion didn't think it through for Nimbus.

    He will be OK. Lots of love for him, and a cuddly toy is good ... xx
    Up to date and comprehensive info on RHD2:
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  3. #13
    Wise Old Thumper William's Avatar
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    Stasis is pretty common - sometimes rabbits can stop eating and drinking for random or unknown reasons and then have to be nursed back to health. But given Ebony's age, it's probable she had something more serious wrong with her that she wouldn't recover from, in which case being pts is the kindest thing. It wouldn't have been nice to let her slowly die and that would have been more awful for you as well - try to think of that to assuage the guilt. xx I think everyone usually feels some amount of guilt when a beloved pet dies no matter how it happens,it's part of the grieving process.

    If your vet is more used to seeing cats and dogs you might consider asking on this forum for a rabbit savvy vet in your area. Since Nimbus is also older, you'll want to make sure you have a knowledgeable vet that can deal with illnesses related to old age etc.

  4. #14
    Wise Old Thumper Barn Yard Bunnies's Avatar
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    Big big hugs. It's never easy to face the worst. I am so sorry you are going through this.

  5. #15
    Warren Scout Ross's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry to hear about your Ebony!! Big hugs to you, your family and little Nimbus

    please don't feel guilty was you've done nothing wrong, you've given them a wonderful life! xxx

  6. #16

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    Quote Originally Posted by liz99 View Post
    Hi all
    I have never posted on any chat forum before but I really need to get this off my chest as I feel like I am going crazy.
    So my lovely rescue lionhead Ebony had been not herself for a couple of days and not eating or drinking for a day. She is 9 and bonded with another rescue domestic Nimbus who's 8. The thing is I knew in my heart she was dying but instead of letting nature take it's course I took her to the vet this morning as I had to be sure she couldn't be made better. So the vet was very kind and said she was an old rabbit who had had a long healthy life but she didn't have long left so he strongly advised putting her to sleep. I was just floored, broke down in the vets, seriously couldn't quite believe how upset I was. I did question whether I shouldn't bring her home to Nimbus to die but he again advised it was best to leave her at the vets. So having gone outside the vets to get fresh air my husband was just pulling up to meet me and I let him go back in to arrange it. But of course now I realise it was the worse thing to do and Nimbus is just running around looking for her and I am just doubly heartbroken. I am giving him lots of attention, treats and a cuddly toy but I can't now get the guilt out of my head. To be honest my family think I have gone a bit mad.
    Does anyone understand?
    Thanks for your time
    Liz
    I don't think your crazy and I get it but I have the opposite guilt. My vet said I had to think about putting my rabbit to sleep and I was allowed to take him home for the night to syringe feed water every 20 minutes rather than him be in the vets all night alone, 20 minutes later he died at home with me snuggled on my lap and I feel awful. I feel like I should have had him put to sleep. He was 7/8 and I'd only got him a new friend 10 days before so again I feel guilty that it was my fault he got sick. Reality is he was probably just old but the timing of the new rabbit and his death are just to much of a confidence for me.

    Now I have my fluff ball who died and I don't want to replace and a rabbit I have no connection with (who's pretty mean) that o feel guilty about sending back to the rescue place even though it's probably best for her so she's not living alone!

    I'm sure everyone thinks I'm nuts with how sad and guilty I feel but they are a big part of your life, especially if they live in your lounge like my Waff did! X

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