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Thread: I keep forgetting

  1. #1
    Young Bun 0XBunnyta's Avatar
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    Default I keep forgetting

    In my last started thread I was asking for advice on stronger arthritis medication, supplements, therapies, anything that might help an aging bun. I'm one of those people that just think love can save an animal. If I just find the best vets, if i just find better medication, give her the best food, then she will be fine. Unfortunately last week I lost my bun of 11 years and i'm still finding it hard to come to terms with it, I still walk into my room happy as Larry about to greet her and realize her things have gone, and so has she. In time I know I will stop clicking my tongue as warning before I turn the hair dryer on, or stop cutting extra slices of cucumber for my sandwich because i'm so used to giving her tip bits.

    I've delt with the deaths of past pets before but this case is different. For instance, the guinea pigs preferred each other and although i'd had them for 6-7 years they were healthy in their body and when they passed it was a sock, but not unexpected of their age. When they passed away I was devastated but I could go about my daily life without constant reminders and never really encountered that heart sinking feeling I get with Tina where I've just totally forgotten that she's gone.

    I think the difference is that I adopted Tina in my first year of secondary school (yr 7), one of those major life changes that seem important at the time, so she had already been my moral support for this. She ended up being moral support through years of college, then university, then I graduated, I'd lived at home, I'd moved out of home and she had been with me throughout all of this. There isn't a time I remember where she hasn't been there. If I was excited to move ahead and go forward in life i'd plan my life with her in tow, find places I could move where she would be allowed. When I was miserable, she was there sat by my side watching stupid movies to cheer myself up, sharing a tub of fruit. Nothing quite cheers you up like a little nose boop and the tiniest ball of fluff fighting a 5'6 human for the last grape. In the end she required a lot of daily care and vet trips, I would have to wash her eyes, clean her back end, administer several medications once or twice a day and put cream on her legs and feet. She was such a little trooper but that's probably due to the fact shes was an utter lap dog and wanted to be beside you 24/7 and extra care means extra attention, so she was happy.

    I think that's what makes this so hard, she's just always, always been there and although I've lost buns, and adopted more buns, she has been there that whole time, you start to believe they will be there forever because they're that stable thing in your life where nothing has ever changed or gone wrong and when they're gone you cant help but forget and then its like a punch when you remember. The other two obviously are dependent on me providing them with what they need but I can do that in a space of 20 minuets with a full clean out and giving them new enrichment activities (although I do spend more time just playing with them too). Tina could take hours out of my day to get all of her care done, it's hard to explain but I feel like I haven't just lost her but also my role of caregiver? Like before I made a difference to a little life but now it's just me and I have the other two but they don't really NEED me... I don't know, that's probably one of those things only people who care for special needs buns will understand

    I guess there isn't much point to this thread, It's nothing more than therapeutic for me to type out how i'm feeling about it and perhaps responses from people that understand will make me feel better. The people in my life that are able to give sympathy or advice don't even like animals so I don't think it's gone too well there Sorry for the soppy post now it's time to start planning moving up in my life with Annabelle and Wayne into a new apartment in January. Tina might be gone but I've still got my other babies to support me

  2. #2
    Wise Old Thumper
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    Quote Originally Posted by 0XBunnyta View Post
    In my last started thread I was asking for advice on stronger arthritis medication, supplements, therapies, anything that might help an aging bun. I'm one of those people that just think love can save an animal. If I just find the best vets, if i just find better medication, give her the best food, then she will be fine. Unfortunately last week I lost my bun of 11 years and i'm still finding it hard to come to terms with it, I still walk into my room happy as Larry about to greet her and realize her things have gone, and so has she. In time I know I will stop clicking my tongue as warning before I turn the hair dryer on, or stop cutting extra slices of cucumber for my sandwich because i'm so used to giving her tip bits.

    I've delt with the deaths of past pets before but this case is different. For instance, the guinea pigs preferred each other and although i'd had them for 6-7 years they were healthy in their body and when they passed it was a sock, but not unexpected of their age. When they passed away I was devastated but I could go about my daily life without constant reminders and never really encountered that heart sinking feeling I get with Tina where I've just totally forgotten that she's gone.

    I think the difference is that I adopted Tina in my first year of secondary school (yr 7), one of those major life changes that seem important at the time, so she had already been my moral support for this. She ended up being moral support through years of college, then university, then I graduated, I'd lived at home, I'd moved out of home and she had been with me throughout all of this. There isn't a time I remember where she hasn't been there. If I was excited to move ahead and go forward in life i'd plan my life with her in tow, find places I could move where she would be allowed. When I was miserable, she was there sat by my side watching stupid movies to cheer myself up, sharing a tub of fruit. Nothing quite cheers you up like a little nose boop and the tiniest ball of fluff fighting a 5'6 human for the last grape. In the end she required a lot of daily care and vet trips, I would have to wash her eyes, clean her back end, administer several medications once or twice a day and put cream on her legs and feet. She was such a little trooper but that's probably due to the fact shes was an utter lap dog and wanted to be beside you 24/7 and extra care means extra attention, so she was happy.

    I think that's what makes this so hard, she's just always, always been there and although I've lost buns, and adopted more buns, she has been there that whole time, you start to believe they will be there forever because they're that stable thing in your life where nothing has ever changed or gone wrong and when they're gone you cant help but forget and then its like a punch when you remember. The other two obviously are dependent on me providing them with what they need but I can do that in a space of 20 minuets with a full clean out and giving them new enrichment activities (although I do spend more time just playing with them too). Tina could take hours out of my day to get all of her care done, it's hard to explain but I feel like I haven't just lost her but also my role of caregiver? Like before I made a difference to a little life but now it's just me and I have the other two but they don't really NEED me... I don't know, that's probably one of those things only people who care for special needs buns will understand

    I guess there isn't much point to this thread, It's nothing more than therapeutic for me to type out how i'm feeling about it and perhaps responses from people that understand will make me feel better. The people in my life that are able to give sympathy or advice don't even like animals so I don't think it's gone too well there Sorry for the soppy post now it's time to start planning moving up in my life with Annabelle and Wayne into a new apartment in January. Tina might be gone but I've still got my other babies to support me
    Losing a special friend after 11 years of caring for them is not something that many people can just 'get over'. Tina was obviously a very important part of your life and you will no doubt always miss her, even though you have Annabelle and Wayne.

    I thought this poem seemed appropriate to post


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  3. #3
    Wise Old Thumper MightyMax's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 0XBunnyta View Post
    In my last started thread I was asking for advice on stronger arthritis medication, supplements, therapies, anything that might help an aging bun. I'm one of those people that just think love can save an animal. If I just find the best vets, if i just find better medication, give her the best food, then she will be fine. Unfortunately last week I lost my bun of 11 years and i'm still finding it hard to come to terms with it, I still walk into my room happy as Larry about to greet her and realize her things have gone, and so has she. In time I know I will stop clicking my tongue as warning before I turn the hair dryer on, or stop cutting extra slices of cucumber for my sandwich because i'm so used to giving her tip bits.

    I've delt with the deaths of past pets before but this case is different. For instance, the guinea pigs preferred each other and although i'd had them for 6-7 years they were healthy in their body and when they passed it was a sock, but not unexpected of their age. When they passed away I was devastated but I could go about my daily life without constant reminders and never really encountered that heart sinking feeling I get with Tina where I've just totally forgotten that she's gone.

    I think the difference is that I adopted Tina in my first year of secondary school (yr 7), one of those major life changes that seem important at the time, so she had already been my moral support for this. She ended up being moral support through years of college, then university, then I graduated, I'd lived at home, I'd moved out of home and she had been with me throughout all of this. There isn't a time I remember where she hasn't been there. If I was excited to move ahead and go forward in life i'd plan my life with her in tow, find places I could move where she would be allowed. When I was miserable, she was there sat by my side watching stupid movies to cheer myself up, sharing a tub of fruit. Nothing quite cheers you up like a little nose boop and the tiniest ball of fluff fighting a 5'6 human for the last grape. In the end she required a lot of daily care and vet trips, I would have to wash her eyes, clean her back end, administer several medications once or twice a day and put cream on her legs and feet. She was such a little trooper but that's probably due to the fact shes was an utter lap dog and wanted to be beside you 24/7 and extra care means extra attention, so she was happy.

    I think that's what makes this so hard, she's just always, always been there and although I've lost buns, and adopted more buns, she has been there that whole time, you start to believe they will be there forever because they're that stable thing in your life where nothing has ever changed or gone wrong and when they're gone you cant help but forget and then its like a punch when you remember. The other two obviously are dependent on me providing them with what they need but I can do that in a space of 20 minuets with a full clean out and giving them new enrichment activities (although I do spend more time just playing with them too). Tina could take hours out of my day to get all of her care done, it's hard to explain but I feel like I haven't just lost her but also my role of caregiver? Like before I made a difference to a little life but now it's just me and I have the other two but they don't really NEED me... I don't know, that's probably one of those things only people who care for special needs buns will understand

    I guess there isn't much point to this thread, It's nothing more than therapeutic for me to type out how i'm feeling about it and perhaps responses from people that understand will make me feel better. The people in my life that are able to give sympathy or advice don't even like animals so I don't think it's gone too well there Sorry for the soppy post now it's time to start planning moving up in my life with Annabelle and Wayne into a new apartment in January. Tina might be gone but I've still got my other babies to support me

    There is very very much a point to your thread, and it's for us at RU to support you at times like this

    I do understand how difficult it is to lose a soul that you've cared for for so many years. When I lost one of my rabbits at over 14 years of age I found it hard as they had been there for me through so many different stages of my life. Kind of like a grandparent, and you never think they will leave you.

    Hugs for you xx

  4. #4
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    I am so sorry that you have lost Tina

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