Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 20

Thread: When to give up?

  1. #1
    Young Bun
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Location
    Lincoln
    Posts
    59

    Default When to give up?

    Hi all,

    I posted a couple of months ago about the bonding process of my trio.

    It's been two months now and we had made amazing progress. Trio cuddles and constant kisses.

    It's two females and one male. The male has bonded very well to both and we can trust him fully with either. The girls, however, will be wildly in love one week and then tense with another week. It's always the one girl, Molly, who will change and initiate tension.

    The last two weeks have just been a nightmare. Poor Bloo (the other girl) has suffered quite a few injuries. They're all superficial but obviously awful nonetheless. Molly will approach her, lunge at her and Bloo will back off. Molly then dives at her, attaches herself to Bloo by biting her, lies on her side and madly kicks at her. It is horrendous to see. Bloo will not retaliate and tries to run away but can't because Molly is attached.

    We obviously jump in and deal with it immediately but it just goes from 0 to 100 in a split second and out of nowhere. Molly will be getting a clean from Bloo then two seconds later she'll attack her.

    Bloo sleeps with her head resting on Molly's back and even after the attacks will attempt to do so.

    She's bonded very well with the male too but I'm wondering if it will be safer for all to separate her and get her a new friend.

    We can never leave the trio unattended and because we don't want to separate them and harm the bonding process, we (my partner and I) have been taking it in turns to take shifts overnight for two months.

    We, and Bloo of course, are at the end of our tether 😢

  2. #2
    Warren Veteran joey&boo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Lancashire
    Posts
    7,442

    Default

    I can empathise but I don't really know what to suggest. Your trio sound very much like mine, they got very gradually better over time but Boo still has her Molly-esque moments. Like your trio bonds to our boy bun were totally unproblematic & new buns bond to him was kept me persisting so long. The good thing about mine was although did pull fur there were never any flesh wounds & I guess that is the main worry with yours.

    I hope someone comes along with advice. I really hope you find a solution

  3. #3
    Young Bun
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Location
    Lincoln
    Posts
    59

    Default

    Thank you for responding. It's really good to know I'm not alone in this but sorry you've had to go through it too.

    My poor Bloo has lost two of her husbuns in the past and came from an abusive first home so I'm overly protective of her. She's also the sweetest little thing, it's ridiculous, I wish she'd at least tell Molly to sod off or something but she just gives constant love.

    Your trio are beautiful, such a great photo of them!

  4. #4
    Warren Veteran joey&boo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Lancashire
    Posts
    7,442

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PatchMagic View Post
    Thank you for responding. It's really good to know I'm not alone in this but sorry you've had to go through it too.

    My poor Bloo has lost two of her husbuns in the past and came from an abusive first home so I'm overly protective of her. She's also the sweetest little thing, it's ridiculous, I wish she'd at least tell Molly to sod off or something but she just gives constant love.

    Your trio are beautiful, such a great photo of them!
    aww thank you. My Mouse seems to have the traits of Bloo, a loving & gentle soul.

    Mighty max is good at this kind of thing, she helped sort out my head with it all. Super stressful but amazingly rewarding if you get through the process

  5. #5
    Young Bun
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Location
    Lincoln
    Posts
    59

    Default

    It makes it all the more devastating when they're loving and gentle doesn't it I'm glad when she throws a tantrum, I encourage it!

    Mighty Max helped me out a lot in my first thread. I hope I can come back on here someday with a positive thread.

  6. #6
    Wise Old Thumper MightyMax's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    29,726

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PatchMagic View Post
    Hi all,

    I posted a couple of months ago about the bonding process of my trio.

    It's been two months now and we had made amazing progress. Trio cuddles and constant kisses.

    It's two females and one male. The male has bonded very well to both and we can trust him fully with either. The girls, however, will be wildly in love one week and then tense with another week. It's always the one girl, Molly, who will change and initiate tension.

    The last two weeks have just been a nightmare. Poor Bloo (the other girl) has suffered quite a few injuries. They're all superficial but obviously awful nonetheless. Molly will approach her, lunge at her and Bloo will back off. Molly then dives at her, attaches herself to Bloo by biting her, lies on her side and madly kicks at her. It is horrendous to see. Bloo will not retaliate and tries to run away but can't because Molly is attached.

    We obviously jump in and deal with it immediately but it just goes from 0 to 100 in a split second and out of nowhere. Molly will be getting a clean from Bloo then two seconds later she'll attack her.

    Bloo sleeps with her head resting on Molly's back and even after the attacks will attempt to do so.

    She's bonded very well with the male too but I'm wondering if it will be safer for all to separate her and get her a new friend.

    We can never leave the trio unattended and because we don't want to separate them and harm the bonding process, we (my partner and I) have been taking it in turns to take shifts overnight for two months.

    We, and Bloo of course, are at the end of our tether 😢

    In a way I'm kind of relieved that Bloo doesn't fight back as I think that could precipitate even more destruction than Molly already creates on her own.

    I am shocked with what you've described Molly does, and if it weren't so vicious sounding I would say to keep pursuing the bonding. But that's not at all nice

    So, if this were me ... and of course I'm not there with you and don't know how your nerves are standing up to this ... Well, how is Bloo within herself? Is she shaking with fear after these encounters? Does it put her off participating in the group?

    And how are you? Truly at the end of your tether and seeing no improvement?

    If it looks bleak, I would be tempted to split them. If not now, then in a few days or one week if there was no improvement.

    Or ..... split them for now, and have a go at some other time. But I've found this really only works when something else has overtaken the bunnies such as illness, blindness or something that's mellowed the grumpy one.

    What do you think?

  7. #7
    Wise Old Thumper MightyMax's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    29,726

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by joey&boo View Post
    aww thank you. My Mouse seems to have the traits of Bloo, a loving & gentle soul.

    Mighty max is good at this kind of thing, she helped sort out my head with it all. Super stressful but amazingly rewarding if you get through the process

    You're very kind JB xx

  8. #8
    Wise Old Thumper MightyMax's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    29,726

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PatchMagic View Post
    It makes it all the more devastating when they're loving and gentle doesn't it I'm glad when she throws a tantrum, I encourage it!

    Mighty Max helped me out a lot in my first thread. I hope I can come back on here someday with a positive thread.

    Patch, thank you

    I am glad you've come back to update, despite it's not entirely successful. No one can say you haven't given it your best shot.

    Do you think that Molly is being territorial and perhaps feels she has some right to 'dominate' poor Bloo? Is it all her 'land' and just that she won't share? I don't know how neutral the area was that they all went back into?

  9. #9
    Warren Scout
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Location
    Nottingham
    Posts
    329

    Default

    Hi Patch. Its a tough call, obviously trios with 2 girls can work, I have one, but they are sisters and used to each other. However, when I added in 2 more bunnies to the sisters, a male and female, it worked for 2 months but then 2 of the girls just decided they hated each other. I eventually took one girl out as there were injuries such as you describe. Ive now bonded my lone girl with a boy and its SO much better and she's thriving. I really persevered for ages but it was so stressful. So I have a trio and a pair.
    If you have the space for another pair, it may be worth getting a friend for bloo rather than carrying on, but it could settle down. I don't think anyone can answer, so it depends on your situation and how much more you and your partner can take. And bloo of course. If she's happy despite Mollys jabs, it may be worth giving it a bit longer. Perhaps give yourself a deadline? If it settles, fine, but if there any more issues, take bloo out.
    Good luck! 🐰🐰🐰

  10. #10
    Young Bun
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Location
    Lincoln
    Posts
    59

    Default

    Thank you so much for your responses. I really appreciate it, it's nice to talk about it to people who understand.

    After the incident yesterday Bloo was upset for all of two minutes then got back to munching on hay and flopping. Molly took herself outside for a time out and stayed there sulking for hours, which I was quite glad of.

    Molly then came back in and lay down next to Bloo. Bloo gave Molly a huge clean and flopped into her. They stayed like that for the evening and ate their dinner together.

    I honestly don't know what is going on anymore. I can't predict what Molly is going to be like from day to day, she's very difficult to read.

    The space they went back to as a trio was neutral with new blankets, bathroom, hay holder, everything! There has been no territorial toileting, no arguing over food or general signs of dominance since they were put in their new neutral space. We seemed to have worked through all of that in the marathon bond I did at the beginning.

    It is just the unexplainable behaviour of Molly now that seems to be the only issue. Bloo seems happy in herself, she's probably more outgoing and active than she's ever been.

    Seeing Molly yesterday really shocked me. I've seen aggression and fighting before but she was so vicious and it came from nowhere. It was oddly silent too, not a sound came from either of them. Whereas normally in the past if there have been fights with other buns it erupts and the noise is unmissable. That is obviously a worry going forward.

    I have it in me to carry on with it and I think Bloo does too but my worry is, even if we do get to a point where they're bonded well enough to be unsupervised, will they ever be truly bunny-bonded. If it's the case that molly will just accept Bloo enough to not hurt her but they won't have that great bunny bond, I'm not sure it would be worth it.

    But then Bloo has a brilliant bond with Pumpkin (the male). As does Molly. Bloo will get her kisses and cleans from Pumpkin so she's not missing out but she has taken a real shine to Molly, she'll prefer to go to her over Pumpkin and will ask for a clean. Molly went through a lengthy phase of cleaning Bloo but now refuses.

    Bloo used to be an upstairs bun with her husbun and they had a very cosy existence. She was very well looked after by him and was actually quite selfish. She would pretend to give cleans so it'd be reciprocated when what she was actually doing was just resting her head on her husbun. She was very cheeky and now seems to be making a huge effort but it's not appreciated.

    If we do give up and get another bun she would go back to her upstairs life which I'm sure she'd be happy with.


    I'm sorry I've just realised I've typed out an essay! Apologies.

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •