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Help with bonding - update, urgent help/advice needed please!!!

A

Al the names are taken

Young Bun
Hello, I am trying to bond my two rabbits - Betty and Gary - they have been spayed and neutered and have been staying in adjacent hutches for a week or so, occasionally swapping hutches and using the same run at different times. I have been trying to bond them in my bathroom where they have never been before. It's not going too bad but Betty is desperate for Gary to love her, she chases him and mounts then tries to put her head under him for him to groom her. But Gary does not reciprocate and thumps then runs away. Poor Betty! so I was wondering if anyone knows of a bonding service in the derby area, I think I could use a bit of experienced help! thanks...

**After initially turning round and going well between them Gary has suddenly started chasing Betty and pulling out her fur. She has a bald patch and is hiding from him! I have separated them for now but they really need to to work as a pair or I will have to re - home Gary. If anyone has any pearls of wisdom or solutions I am ready to listen. Thanks **
 
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Hopefully someone local might be able to recommend somewhere. How long ago were they spayed/neutered? There's an excellent video in the bonding sticky thread, by mischief and tinkers mum of a trio bond which might give you some pointers.
 
Zoobec said:
Hopefully someone local might be able to recommend somewhere. How long ago were they spayed/neutered? There's an excellent video in the bonding sticky thread, by mischief and tinkers mum of a trio bond which might give you some pointers.
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Thank you, bonding went much better this evening so maybe I am being a bit impatient. I would just feel better with someone who knows what they're doing nearby! Betty is sending out some mixed signals but there was minimal chasing this evening and Gary has taken on the look of tired resignation so i think there is hope for them :roll: I will try and check out the video.

they were spayed etc a couple of months ago but Gary is quite young, only 6 months old so he is quite jittery. He is also new to us, we got him last week so he has had a lot of changes. Betty is 3 (i think) and a very confident bunny so i think Gary is finding he a bit overwhelming...
 
Hi Zoobec, I checked out the video and it was really helpful thank you. As it turned out I was just being impatient and panicky, my rabbits are getting on really well, flopping out together, some grooming, eating from the same bowl etc and in retrospect it went very smoothly, I just needed patience and confidence. Thank you again for your reply xx
 
Al the names are taken said:
Hi Zoobec, I checked out the video and it was really helpful thank you. As it turned out I was just being impatient and panicky, my rabbits are getting on really well, flopping out together, some grooming, eating from the same bowl etc and in retrospect it went very smoothly, I just needed patience and confidence. Thank you again for your reply xx
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Glad to hear that the bonding has gone well. It can be nerve racking at times !!
 
Al the names are taken said:
Hi Zoobec, I checked out the video and it was really helpful thank you. As it turned out I was just being impatient and panicky, my rabbits are getting on really well, flopping out together, some grooming, eating from the same bowl etc and in retrospect it went very smoothly, I just needed patience and confidence. Thank you again for your reply xx
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I'm glad they are getting on well :thumb: I think the video is brilliant :love:
 
Gah help! it all went wrong overnight! I don't know what happened, it was going so well yesterday then this morning Betty's fur was all over the run and she has a bald patch on her back. She was hiding on top of the hideout from Gary. She is not injured but was pretty upset and scared. I think Gary is being a bit territorial or maybe he's tired of her affections, i don't know. I have separated them for now but if they can't be friends I will have to re-home him. Any advice or support would be most welcome. I'm a bit gutted. Poor Betty :(
 
Al the names are taken said:
Gah help! it all went wrong overnight! I don't know what happened, it was going so well yesterday then this morning Betty's fur was all over the run and she has a bald patch on her back. She was hiding on top of the hideout from Gary. She is not injured but was pretty upset and scared. I think Gary is being a bit territorial or maybe he's tired of her affections, i don't know. I have separated them for now but if they can't be friends I will have to re-home him. Any advice or support would be most welcome. I'm a bit gutted. Poor Betty :(
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So did you move them from the bathroom back into the run ? It is often necessary to keep Rabbits in the neutral area for a much longer time before moving them back to where you hope they can live. By 'quite a long time' in some cases this can mean weeks. It is by no means always that long, but it is something that can happen.
 
They were getting on ok in the bathroom so the day before yesterday morning I moved them to the run. There was some chasing but initially but they spent the day together and got on really well. Yesterday they spent the day together again, they laid down together, snuggled up, ate from the same bowl and there was some mutual grooming. There were no signs that anything was wrong between them so I left them together. But it seems they had some sort of disagreement overnight and now I'm not sure how to move forward. I really don't think he likes her :(
 
Al the names are taken said:
They were getting on ok in the bathroom so the day before yesterday morning I moved them to the run. There was some chasing but initially but they spent the day together and got on really well. Yesterday they spent the day together again, they laid down together, snuggled up, ate from the same bowl and there was some mutual grooming. There were no signs that anything was wrong between them so I left them together. But it seems they had some sort of disagreement overnight and now I'm not sure how to move forward. I really don't think he likes her :(
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I would go back to the neutral space, as JJ suggested. It really is a case of patience ... and more patience. Get it right now and all should be well; try to rush things and you almost certainly risk failure. You will get there ... but it really does take time. Look forward to receiving a positive update when you've gone back to square one. I haven't studied the video but perhaps it is worth you looking at it again?
 
Babsie said:
I would go back to the neutral space, as JJ suggested. It really is a case of patience ... and more patience. Get it right now and all should be well; try to rush things and you almost certainly risk failure. You will get there ... but it really does take time. Look forward to receiving a positive update when you've gone back to square one. I haven't studied the video but perhaps it is worth you looking at it again?
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Agree with Babsie - see the first article here:

http://rabbit.org/the-most-important-word-in-bonding-is-patience/

http://rabbit.org/introducing-rabbits-in-a-group-situation/

http://www.cottontails-rescue.org.uk/information/bonding-bunnies/ (good for pair bonding)


There is also a useful book in RWAF shop:

https://shop.rabbitwelfare.co.uk/product/bonding-rabbits-by-fiona-campbell/
 
I will try them in the kitchen this evening after I have given it a good scrub. someone suggested lavender spray to help things calm down a bit? the difficulty is that I can't seclude myself away with them for hours on end because I have kids to look after :roll: but I was under the impression that short dates aren't really as effective. I will try to be more patient (it's not generally in my skill set). Thanks for the support xx
 
Could you set up a pen in your living area, so you would be able to supervise them more easily? So, when they fought, had you put them in a neutral outside hutch with a run attached?
 
I don't have an indoor pen at the moment but will consider getting one if I have to. They were in a neutral run with a small hutch/nest box thing and a couple of other hiding spaces, they had been there all day with no problems :(
 
Al the names are taken said:
I don't have an indoor pen at the moment but will consider getting one if I have to. They were in a neutral run with a small hutch/nest box thing and a couple of other hiding spaces, they had been there all day with no problems :(
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They may have got spooked by something outside. Also may have been unsettled, being put outside having been inside. Bonds can be very shaky to begin with and they really do need to be supervised. I think you are (quite understandably) trying to rush things and move them around too soon but you risk ruining any chance of bonding by trying to push ahead too quickly - which would be such a shame.
 
Thanks Babsie, I freely admit I don't really know what I'm doing. I thought it was safe to leave them together because all the signs were pointing to them being happy together. I bought them into the kitchen this evening for about an hour. Gary tried to nip Betty a couple of times but nothing serious, there was no fighting. Betty kept putting her head down for some grooming but Gary ignored her. interestingly though Gary pretty much ignored Betty but spent a lot of time hopping around near her, he didn't avoid her completely by going to the other side of the room. They seem to both be sending mixed signals and I'm completely confused. I think they were both a little tense but all things considered i think it went quite well! I'll try them again tomorrow evening for an hour, on tuesday and wednesday the kids are in childcare so I can give them a bit more of my time.
 
Hi, just seen this thread, I would reiterate what's been said on patience, I have rushed things in the past and it went wrong. Don't increase the space for ages, or move them. Keep distracting them with titbits if they start being edgy with each other.
I'm near Derby by the way, (Long Eaton) there's a 'rabbit bonding expert' at Pets at Home in Nottingham, can't remember her name but she was really helpful when I rung to speak to her. She really calmed me down once! I don't know any local bonding services though, what rescue did you get him from?
 
Hi Comet, I got him from the pets at home adoption centre in derby. I phoned them today and they were really helpful, the lady suggested I spray some lavender water in the room prior to bonding, I don't know if it helped the rabbits but I was quite calm! :D It's difficult to find a space where they can be undisturbed by the children but also supervised. How will I know when they are ready to be left alone?
 
It did not go so well this evening, Gary began by nipping at Betty straight away. I stopped him from doing that so then he just ignored her when he sat near her she put her head under him to be groomed but he just pretended she wasn't there. She mounted him a couple of times which he put up with but when she got off he went for her again. Betty seems stressed and upset, is this normal? I just get the impression that he really doesn't like her. How do I know when to call it a day??
 
Al the names are taken said:
It did not go so well this evening, Gary began by nipping at Betty straight away. I stopped him from doing that so then he just ignored her when he sat near her she put her head under him to be groomed but he just pretended she wasn't there. She mounted him a couple of times which he put up with but when she got off he went for her again. Betty seems stressed and upset, is this normal? I just get the impression that he really doesn't like her. How do I know when to call it a day??
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In the hundreds of bondings I've done, I've never had a male/female bond not work. Don't give up!

Obviously don't let them rip one another to pieces, but the hardest one I did took around 48 hours and it was the female being stroppy that was the issue.

Your reaction to them will also be important, as your stress transfers and winds up the whole situation .... I rehomed a rabbit many moons ago, and was on the phone with his owner for 6 hours as she was so stressed. That's on the phone *without a break* :lol:

You are not alone.

Keep trying and keep posting. The rewards are worthwhile.

Read the links I gave you and you'll get some ideas from them.

Keep the faith :)
 
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