Lady Daisy (2013-2016)

I originally posted about Daisy in Rabbit Chat (In Memoriam Daisy), but I noticed that the link I inserted in my post cannot be accessed via mobile unless you download the app. The link is an entry from my online journal where I am writing about Daisy, her life with us, her final days, my grief, my guilt and why her loss is so painful. I am copying the full text here, so if you are interested in our story, but just like me, you cannot open the page, you can read about us below. I apologise if you have seen my post before.


"Lady Daisy, our gorgeous bunny girl


We lost our gorgeous bunny girl, Daisy, a few days ago. We lost her unexpectedly and within just a few days. Her loss is something we need to come to terms with, and I decided to write about her, the good times we shared, the last days of her life and my grief. I try to find comfort in the happy memories and search for answers that, quite possibly, I will never find.


Meeting Daisy for the first time

My husband and I have been parents of a bunny boy, Nyunyu, for just over 6 years now. Nyunyu is my first pet, I didn't have pets as a child, so I didn't know what it's like to have an animal in my life until I was over 20 years old. But I'm so-so happy that finally I could experience this special bond. Nyunyu is a house rabbit, many people say he is a big bunny. Well, he is not a dwarf, that's for sure, but he is not huge. Although, there are dogs smaller than him, so you know.
He was 4 years old when we decided we should find a lovely bunny wife for him. We read quite a lot about bonded bunnies, and although Nyunyu was perfectly happy with us, we thought he would be even happier with a bunny companion. So we started looking around, and my husband found Daisy. We contacted the rescue and arranged a bonding session that we attended with Nyunyu. Daisy was even more beautiful in real life than in the photos, a little lop dwarf rabbit, and we really hoped the two of them would get on well with each other. During the bonding session, things seemed to have been going to the right direction, so we adopted Daisy in August 2014.



Image 1: Daisy's photo on the rescue's website



Nyunyu and Daisy - bonding not happening, are we the right family for her?

When we adopted Daisy she was about 9 months old and already had a litter. Her babies had already been adopted and it was only her looking for a husbun. We were told that she was given up by her previous owner because they felt they had too many rabbits. We did not know anything about her life with her previous owner, but it was clear that she was not used to humans. She was afraid of us, did not let us pet her - which we respected, of course - and she was looking for comfort from Nyunyu. And that's when things took a 180 degrees turn compared to what we saw at the bonding session. Nyunyu became aggressive and territorial. He did not accept Daisy, tried to scare her and you could tell that Daisy was confused and disappointed. She was in a new place, she didn't trust us, and the only being she would have been comfortable with rejected her. We read about bonding a lot and we knew that it could take weeks or even months to bond two rabbits, you just need to provide a neutral place and be very patient. We tried to provide neutral places, and we tried to build their relationship very slowly, increasing the time they spent together literally minute by minute every day. First day, spending 1 minute together, second day, spending 2 minutes together and so on, and so on. Weeks were passing by and nothing happened: they did not get closer and Daisy still kept her distance from us. She knew that we were the people who gave her food, cleaned her "room", and she also saw how we were treating Nyunyu and how much Nyunyu loved us, but it was clear that first and foremost she wanted a husbun. So, we seriously started questioning whether we are the right family for her. We thought that if Nyunyu is so rigid and not willing to accept her as his companion, and she cannot trust us, then maybe it would be better for her if she was with a bunny who could be her true partner, even though giving her up would have broken our hearts because we fell in love with her immediately. But as time was passing by, Daisy did not only open towards us, but actually started to love us. She did not only let us pet her, but she requested it, she showered us with bunny kisses and looked for comfort from us, especially from my husband. Daisy became a real daddy's girl, and even though she and Nyunyu did not become a couple, they learned to live together in peace and she was a happy bunny with us.



Image 2: Nyunyu and Daisy



Life with Daisy

Daisy was a real energy bomb. She was active, very agile, incredibly fast and told us what she wanted and when she wanted it. She changed so much during that almost two years she spent with us. At the beginning, she didn't like humans, but when she finally trusted us, she was open towards strangers as well. But she didn't let you pet her just out of the blue, you had to earn her trust first. She was a real character, a very cheeky girl. She always tried to go to the "forbidden" places. Our bedroom is a no-no place because it's not bunny proofed, but whenever the door was opening she always tried to sneak in. Or if you didn't close the bathroom door properly, she was there to visit you and ensure you about her support. Once I accidentally closed her in the bathroom because I didn't notice she sneaked in. I came back to the living room and saw that Daisy was not in her place, so we started looking for her like crazy. We couldn't find her anywhere, she didn't respond when we called her, so when we were just about to freak out I went back to the bathroom and there she was. Then she gracefully walked out, just like a lady, and started looking for the next cheeky thing she could do. For example, jumping up on the TV cabinet's shelf. Or on the top of the sofa and sit there like a little parrot. Or she started to rattle her cage - even though the door was open, so she could have easily jumped out - to get our attention and some complimentary stroking. And she was foody, oh boy, did she love her food! Dill, coriander, banana, apple, pear, watermelon, dried dandelion, just to list a few of her favourite treats. She was the most affectionate and most beautiful bunny girl I have ever seen.



Image 3: "If I seem to be sitting on the shelf of the TV cabinet it's only because I am" (Daisy)

The final days

On Friday morning a week ago, when we woke up and went to feed the bunnies Daisy didn't eat anything from her breakfast. She didn't drink either, so as experienced bunny parents, we knew that a rabbit's digestive system is very fragile and if a bunny stops eating that could be potentially life-threatening. But we also knew that she was moulting and it had happened to Nyunyu before that when he was grooming himself while moulting, he swallowed some fur which caused constipation and tummy ache. When that happened to Nyunyu, we always took him to the vet, he got painkillers and drugs to encourage gut movement, and then in an hour he started eating and everything went back to normal. So this is what we expected from Daisy: take her to the vet, get the necessary injections and get better in an hour or so. But she didn't get better, she was still not eating or drinking, so in the afternoon, we went back to the vet and they decided to admit her. She had an X-ray in the evening, but the vet was not happy with it, as it showed an abnormally large amount of gas in her stomach and guts. He decided to keep her in for the night, give her fluids and injections, and do another X-ray later and go on from there. One possible outcome was that the X-ray was going to be better, meaning that it would show less gas, and in this case medication would be enough to encourage her gut movement till she recovers. The other possible outcome was that the gas amount wouldn't change or would get worse, and in this case there was a higher chance of finding an obstruction in her guts which would need to be removed surgically. We went to see her, and you could tell that she was not in her best shape, but she was happily putting her head under our hands as a sign of "pet me please". We had to leave her, and wait for the results of the next X-ray in which they could see an obstruction - furball -, but it showed improvement, so we were told there was no need for a surgery, medication will be enough to push the furball through her bowels, and she was going to come home on Saturday.

On Saturday morning they did another X-ray, it was even better, she was observed during the day and came home in the afternoon. She had to take quite a few different drugs, but she accepted them, started eating and drinking, and became active again.

Sunday was a regular day, she was her old self, everything went as usual.

Monday was a regular day as well, in the afternoon we had to take her back for a check-up, they did an X-ray and they were very happy with the result. It was agreed that we would take her back for another check-up in a week. In the evening she ate her dinner, she was looking fine and then something strange happened. Not to her, but to Nyunyu. Daisy was chilling in her place and Nyunyu jumped in. These instances usually ended by Nyunyu starting to chase Daisy who was faster and more agile than Nyunyu, so she could easily get away from him. By the time Nyunyu turned his head Daisy was already resting at the other end of the room. But on Monday evening, nothing like this happened. Nyunyu did not start chasing her, he was just sitting there, occasionally stealing from her hay, then lying at the door and blocking the exit, and then finally he approached Daisy and put his head next to Daisy's. We were kind of gobsmacked because we couldn't believe that it took them almost two years to get there. But you know, better late than never. In hindsight, we should have suspected something then.

On Tuesday morning when we woke up, Daisy was in a very bad shape. She looked even worse than on Friday morning, was not eating or drinking, and did not even accept liquid food called critical care - used to feed bunnies who cannot or are not willing to take solid food. We took her back to the vet who said that her bowel sounds are actually better than on Friday afternoon, but as she got worse so quickly she would admit her, give her fluids and quite possibly remove the obstruction surgically. I left her there, but with my husband we went back some time around noon before her surgery and we were allowed to see her. She was in a bad shape, and we knew that anesthetics are risky for rabbits, but we also knew that we didn't have a choice, without the operation, she would not have been able to recover. We were told that they would call us after the surgery, and we would need to give her 4-5 hours of recovery before we could come and visit her. But the phone call after the surgery was a tragic one, the veterinary surgeon said that her breathing stopped during the surgery and all her organs started failing one after another and they couldn't bring her back. My husband - who was at work - got this call, and immediately rushed to the veterinary hospital to say goodbye. He called me from there - I was at home with our twin toddlers - and he put the phone next to Daisy so I could say goodbye to her as well. I was in shock and couldn't believe she didn't make it. Our gorgeous bunny girl left us suddenly and unexpectedly. What did we do wrong? When did we make the wrong choice? When did we fail her?

Grief and guilt

When we found out that we lost Daisy, we immediately started rewinding the previous few days. We tried to go step by step and find the moment when we made a mistake. When on Friday morning we took her to the vet, was it too late? Did she actually start feeling unwell earlier that week, but we didn't notice it? She was eating, drinking, and jumping around on Thursday, there was no sign of her feeling poorly. Even on Friday morning the vet said that her bowel sounds are not too worrying and she is hydrated, so medication and painkillers should be enough at that point. Plus, she recovered from that state and could come home on Saturday. Then what did we do on Monday that made her feel worse? Did we give her something we shouldn't have? Or she was unwell on Monday evening already, but we didn't notice? That's why Nyunyu spent time with her and was kind to her, because he already felt something? Would it have made a difference if we had found her earlier on Tuesday and took her to the vet sooner?

According to the vets, all these things wouldn't have mattered because after the surgery they asked for our permission to carry out an autopsy and they found out what the problem was. Daisy had a bacteria overgrowth in her stomach. Some healthy bacteria overgrew and she developed an infection. The nasty bacteria started fermenting which created gas in her stomach. The large amount of gas caused her pain and that's why she stopped eating and drinking. When a bunny stops eating, their bowel movement slows down and if it becomes too slow or stops then it becomes fatal. It turned out that the furball was actually passing through her guts, so there was no need for the surgery, but even without the surgery the ending would have been the same. There was nothing the vets or we could have done to save her.

We will never know what caused the infection, it might have been the furball, but it is equally likely that the furball was the consequence of the infection. She was treated with antibiotics, but in this type of infection it is useless. Although it kills the nasty bacteria, at the same time it kills the healthy bacteria as well.

Apparently, losing her was inevitable, but I still think that something could have been done differently. Maybe if we had brushed her more often, she would have swallowed less fur. But it's not even sure that the fur caused the infection, in many cases the furball is only a result. I don't know and these questions will never be answered. Although, even if they were answered, that wouldn't bring back our bunny munchkin.


What am I grateful for?

First and foremost, I am grateful that she was part of our life. Even though we could spend less than two years together, I am incredibly happy that we adopted her. She made our family complete and we miss her so much. We are not really ourselves without her.

I am very grateful for the staff at Surbiton Veterinary Hospital who cared for her so well and tried to do everything humanly possible to save her. They even called in members of staff who were off-site to make sure that Daisy is going to be in the hands of a specialist surgical team.
I am also grateful that they treated her with the highest level of dignity and respect even when she was gone. When we went to get her on Thursday she was positioned to lie on her belly, so we couldn't even see her stitches. She was just sleeping, looked as beautiful as ever. She looked as if she would wake up in any minute. But she didn't.
Before we left the hospital, I told the lady that I would like to pay the outstanding bill. She said I shouldn't worry about that now, but I felt it was part of the closure too. When she gave us the bill she said that they tried to keep it as low as possible and asked if we were OK with the amount. We said yes, but in fact, we would have been happier if it had been more, because it would have meant that Daisy needed post-op care as well. But the fact that she didn't just give us the bill made such a difference, it showed that yes, they do understand how tragic and painful this is for us..

I am also grateful for Surrey Pet Cemetery where Daisy was cremated. When I organised her cremation on Wednesday, and I told the gentleman that we lost our rabbit girl, he immediately asked her name and referred to her as Daisy from then on. He never said "the rabbit", "your bunny" etc., he called her Daisy. Tiny detail, still means a lot to us.
Another tiny detail which made a huge difference was when we got her urn. It was presented in a delicate green gift bag with a dark brown bow. Very simple, elegant. No logos, no advertisement. The bag also contained a tiny brochure listing strategies of coping with grief, frequent questions that might come up when someone loses a pet family member and also a helpline number if needed.


Why is Daisy's loss so painful?

I do realise that not everybody understands me. Some people don't really understand why I am grieving the loss of an animal. But my reason is very simple: Daisy was not just a pet, she was family. She was like a child to us, she was our responsibility, we cared for her, we gave her the best we could, we formed her habits, we taught her new things and so on. We loved her unconditionally and she loved us too. She was sweet, she wanted attention and affection, she came for comfort when she was scared, she was our four-legged, furry baby girl.

Yes, she was an animal, but in many aspects, she was so much better than a human. She never judged us. She didn't care about our religion, our sexual orientation, our nationality, our race, political views, our age, our gender, or our physical appearance, she just loved us for who we are. We were her two-legged parents who always wanted the best for her, and who loved her so-so much. We don't know if there is such a thing as afterlife, and if there is who you meet there, but we really hope if there is, she is going to wait for us and we can be together when our time comes.

Daisy, my darling little, bunny girl. I am so sorry we couldn't save you. We tried everything we could, please believe me. I am so sorry you left so early. We should have spent some more years together and you should have grown old with us, your family. I really hope you had a happy life with us because you made us so happy. We have loved you since the day we met you and we will always love and remember you. May you rest in peace, darling little bunny girl. Sleep tight and don't forget about us in your ever-lasting dream. Love you, Mummy, Daddy, Nyunyu and your two-legged brothers Dennis and Will xxx



Image 4: One of Daisy's latest photos taken about a week before she passed"

Thank you for reproducing this here, as I could not access it via the link.

Daisy was loved so much. No animal can ask for much more than that.

I am so sorry she had to leave you

What a wonderful tribute to a very special little girl.

How loved she was

I'm so sorry Binky free pretty Daisy xx

I am so so so sorry. Hugs xxx

She was so pretty. Binky free little one.

So sorry to hear this. Your tribute to Daisy is eloquent and lovely.

What a beautiful little blue-eyed bunny she was.

Beautiful tribute!

You are among friends here. We understand your grief. Rabbits are family.

Sweet dreams Daisy

Thank you for all your kind words. xxx

I'm so very sorry for your loss, they leave a big hole in our hearts don't they

Binky free forever gorgeous Lady Daisy at the Bridge xxxx

What a beautiful tribute to her as well xx