Stressed about bonding - feel like an idiot

Hi all,
After getting Harry neutered a couple of weeks ago, I contacted a local rescue about finding a girlfriend for him. Went last night and fell in love with a bun who is a minilop like him and the same age (6mths). We introduced them and all went well - both relaxed, female (who my daughter has called Petal) grooming Harry. The idea had been that rescue would do the bonding, but she has too much on so gave me advice on how to do it and I brought Petal home.
Advice was:
- divide Harry's playhouse in half and keep them side by side, swapping them over regularly.
- bring them in and get them to sit side by side on the sofa while stroking them both.
- when happy with that, move them into a small pen for dates, putting in boxes and obstacles to limit the space to reduce chasing.
- keep a strict eye on them, stroking them both and creating a calm atmosphere.
- do this for a couple of weeks (or as long as it takes) before removing divide in house and keeping them together permanently.
- she said not to worry about neutralising or doing on neutral ground as futile as won't be able to fool Harry.

Brought them in this morning and they sat very nicely next to each other on sofa. I then, foolishly, put them into the pen, which was fine initially until Harry got frisky and literally wouldn't leave her alone. I didn't know whether to pull him off her or leave him to it. She was clearly getting stressed and it felt like it was going to kick off, so I lost my nerve and put them back in their divided house.
Feel like an idiot for bringing her home when I don't really know what I'm doing. Also wonder if his hormones are still too much of an issue for bonding to be successful.
What should I do next? Rescue has said for me to give bonding a go and if still struggling in a couple of weeks, to take them to her and she'll take it on. Shall I take it back to sitting on sofa with them and build it up from there. To what degree do you have to just let them get on with it?
Thanks - and sorry for the epic post!
Laura

Bonding shouldn't really be attempted until after 6 weeks and once the hormones calm down otherwise he's just gonna keep showing hormonal behaviour which could mess up the bonding in the long run

I've recently bonded my two and it did take two attempts. The biggest thing I learnt was you have to keep your nerve and be patient! There's lots of really good threads on here which are really helpful so have a search and read through.

Key points... Wait minimum of 6 to 7 weeks after neutering, neutral space - too much space and they could potentially just sit apart.....make sure you have a decent amount of time that you can spend with them and be prepared to sleep with them the first night potentially!, only separate if lock on fighting, humping and chasing / fur flying can be expected (that's when you have to be strong, I found it horrific and tough to not split them up!) I had a water spray at hand and a broom to break them up if it looked to be getting a bit too much....And be patient, don't try to rush it - that's where I went wrong first time!

Between my two attempts I allowed them to live side by side separated by puppy pen panels for around 4 weeks - I think they actually built their trust up over that time cos the second bonding attempt went swimmingly and they were pretty much loved up straight away!

Good luck and hope it goes well!

I feel very conflicted about the whole thing. I've read lots of threads on here. Some seem to suggest that bonding is fine a couple of weeks after neutering, some say 6 weeks minimum. Some promote the dating method, some say put them together and keep them together. There are also different recommendations on what behaviour is normal (humping, chasing, fur pulling, etc) and when to intervene.
Tonight I sat with them both on the sofa for an hour, stroking both and they were chilled out and laid side by side. I didn't put them in the pen though as thought I'd leave it on a positive note rather than Harry spoiling it with his humping. They are both now in the playhouse, which I've divided in half and keep swapping them over.
I feel guilty though that they are in less than ideal accommodation as the playhouse is divided, so each only has 4ft by 2ft. They also have to take it in turns having the side with access to the run. I keep thinking it'll be worth it in the long run, but worried now I'll have to wait at least a month to bond them properly if I have to wait for hormones to die down.
I've done all this as I want the best for Harry and couldn't bear the thought of him spending the winter outside on his own, but now I feel like I've made a mistake and I'm letting him down.

HarrytheHop said:

I feel very conflicted about the whole thing. I've read lots of threads on here. Some seem to suggest that bonding is fine a couple of weeks after neutering, some say 6 weeks minimum. Some promote the dating method, some say put them together and keep them together. There are also different recommendations on what behaviour is normal (humping, chasing, fur pulling, etc) and when to intervene.
Tonight I sat with them both on the sofa for an hour, stroking both and they were chilled out and laid side by side. I didn't put them in the pen though as thought I'd leave it on a positive note rather than Harry spoiling it with his humping. They are both now in the playhouse, which I've divided in half and keep swapping them over.
I feel guilty though that they are in less than ideal accommodation as the playhouse is divided, so each only has 4ft by 2ft. They also have to take it in turns having the side with access to the run. I keep thinking it'll be worth it in the long run, but worried now I'll have to wait at least a month to bond them properly if I have to wait for hormones to die down.
I've done all this as I want the best for Harry and couldn't bear the thought of him spending the winter outside on his own, but now I feel like I've made a mistake and I'm letting him down.

Click to expand...

You're not letting him down, quite the reverse!

Hormones can take up to 12 weeks to settle down (sorry) but you don't have to wait that long. I would wait six weeks. Is the female spayed?

Yes there are different opinions on how to bond rabbits. I've been doing it (for myself, and others/ boarders) for about 20 years now. I've always done male/female combinations (apart from the very occasional threesome) and it's always worked.

I should have a look through the Forum here and see what style suits your particular situation. The Rescue seems keen to help out, so do go back to them and ask for help.

In my experience, you can't really tell how it's going to go sitting them side by side in an unnatural situation. They need to sort it out together.

... and good luck. You WILL get there :wave:

Thanks for the reassurance. The female is spayed, thank goodness.
I think I'm going to keep them side by side for a couple of weeks at least, giving Petal a chance to settle in and get to know us all and for the hormones to die down in Harry. It might also take us to a point where I can take them both to the rescue so they can do the initial bonding for me. I'm not sure I'm cut out for it!!!
I wish I wasn't so impatient. I just want to get on with it, but looking at the situation now , I should have waited before even looking for a partner for him.

HarrytheHop said:

Thanks for the reassurance. The female is spayed, thank goodness.
I think I'm going to keep them side by side for a couple of weeks at least, giving Petal a chance to settle in and get to know us all and for the hormones to die down in Harry. It might also take us to a point where I can take them both to the rescue so they can do the initial bonding for me. I'm not sure I'm cut out for it!!!
I wish I wasn't so impatient. I just want to get on with it, but looking at the situation now , I should have waited before even looking for a partner for him.

Click to expand...

We are all impatient when it comes to our bunnies, I think

Also, if you're happy with Petal (lovely name) then it's no harm done for her to get her paws under the table. After all, it's the women who run the relationship :lol::lol:

My 5 year old daughter chose the name. Even before I got her, my daughter was writing stories about "Harry and Petal" going on lots of adventures - a picnic, playing badminton and on a boat trip! After telling her about where I got Petal from, she informed me this morning that when she grows up she is going to be an animal rescue lady who helps animals in need!

Please don't feel like an idiot. I got my Bunny last year. Decided to bond her with another bun and agreed to take on one that had recently lost his bonded companion. His owner bought him over, I completely messed it up, and he ended up going home a week later (although I take some comfort in the fact that he wasn't eating or pooing when he came to me but he was when he left!).

You'd have thought I would have learnt from this, but no! I decided to buy another baby as had read they can be easier to bond. Had to wait a few weeks to get him neutered, and then of course the 6 weeks after to begin bonding. I managed to leave them together for a maximum of 5 minutes as despite a wealth of research and advice I was terrified of them hurting each other. So I sent them off on a little bunnymoon for 2 weeks and they came back very much in love! I was really worried that I might have jeopardised the chance of a bond in the long run but that wasn't the case so all worked out ok in the end!

So basically what I guess I am saying is don't lose heart and don't feel like you've made a mistake. I hope it all works out and if you can keep them side by side for a few weeks until his hormones have settled and the rescue can taken them back I'm sure there will be no harm done. If you do decide to bond them you can neutralise things quite easily and it is highly recommended to find neutral space initially to prevent territorial behaviour... Good luck!!