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Sweet, Strong Merry.

Sky-O

Wise Old Thumper
Dearest Merry,

I first met you three and a half years ago when you arrived at the Centre. I can't remember why you originally came in, but I remember when you were first bonded into the quad.

You were a bit of a bully in the quad, weren't you ladyface.

You all went off to a home together in March 2009. With hindsight, they probably took on too much with a quad, but they tried their hardest.

In March last year you and your crew came back to us after a horrific tragedy in your family and the fact they could no longer meet your needs due to it. You all arrived back in a bit of a sorry state but we were able to sort you out, turn you around and make you all happy again.

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Again, you were a bit of a bully and anxious Crystal heightened that. I felt sorry for her and tried to get you all separated into two pairs; I think you all would have been happier that way.

Another home came up. The family loved the way you were all so friendly. I had my reservations but mainly due to finances and also the fact I wasn't comfortable with you all being a quad, but you did eventually go as a quad in June last year.

I saw you a couple of times in your new home and Merry, you just looked like you were having the time of your life, but we were already starting to see problems with you and a vet check was advised.

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Your new owner felt that because all rabbits in the group were ailing she couldn't meet your needs so back you came, once again.

Sadly, when you arrived back, Crystal and Kezzie were too ill to save and we had to let them go. That left you and Thumper together.

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When you were settled you started improving until late last year when you started to deteriorate again. Down and down you slid, and we tried many different things and looked for all the different options that could make you as happy as you deserved to be.

Today when I arrived I was told that you and Thumper were scrappy and to have a look and see if I could work out why. As soon as I picked you up I knew exactly why. Between last week and this week you had lost 0.3kg. That's a lot for a small bunny. Your back end still wasn't right and you had your urine stain back. There was also some food left from the morning feed which is so totally unlike the pair of you.

I put you both out on the grass for some warmth in the sun and some fun on the grass. You tucked straight into that grass. When I went to get the water bowl it was totally empty and it's a big bowl.When I filled it and put it down you drank for ages and about a third of the bowl had gone.

You sat and drank in the sun and I watched your poor body shaking. The longer you were in the sun, the more comfortable you seemed to become, but I knew you weren't right. I do think you enjoyed that time though.

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We talked a lot about you Merry and what was the way forwards. When we put you on that vets table you were so different from normal. you let her do whatever she wanted to you. You had lost your fight. Our beautiful, feisty Merry was not there. There was only one choice.

It took the amount needed for three cats to finally let you relax and leave. You'd fought so hard, for so long, you didn't know how to let go.

I'm so sorry Merry. I so wanted you to have and find your forever home and we weren't able to do it.

I'm so sorry we couldn't fix you and I'm so sorry that I didn't have space here to bring you here to let you know a forever home. Please just know that as I sat with you and cradled you in the sun, and as I held you as you slipped away that you were loved; probably more than you will ever realise.

I hope you're free and binkying about with Crystal and Kezzie. Thumper is doing ok. He clearly knew. We will do our best to find him a friend and find him his happines. I'm just so sorry we couldn't find you yours.

All my love.

x

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Merry
Binkying Free from 21st March 2012
Always Loved, Never Forgotten
 
Thank you so much Anniebirdy, that's beautiful. I've only watched it on silent so far but I'll try and watch it with sound when I feel stronger (and less likely to bawl my eyes out :lol:). And thank you to everyone else for your comments too :)
 
soo sorry you lost a beautful bun :cry: though im sure she was happy to have you to cuddle her as she went on her way, she would of felt your love for her x
 
Thank you so much Anniebirdy, that's beautiful. I've only watched it on silent so far but I'll try and watch it with sound when I feel stronger (and less likely to bawl my eyes out :lol:). And thank you to everyone else for your comments too :)

You are more than welcome. I hope you will like the song I chose, when I listened to it, it just seemed as though the words were coming directly from you to your little bunny :love: because really, thats exactly what she was :) YOUR little bunny :love:
 
I just wish that I had had room and had them here, then she really would have been because that's what she deserved- a home.
 
That was a lovely tribute, Sky-O. I'm so sorry that Merry had to be helped to the Bridge. (((((((((((Big hugs))))))))))))
What a sweet video, Anniebirdy, I'm still all teared up. :cry: I've never heard that song before, very beautifully done.
 
Anniebirdy, I was able to listen to the song today (but not watch the video at the same time :roll::lol:). Thank you so much for doing that. The song is beautiful.

I'm still very upset about Merry and I couldn't work out why. I'm more upset for her than for any of the others who have had to be PTS with me cuddling them at the Centre, or even, in some cases, more upset than what I lost my own (those who have been ill and I had grieved foor along the way but I knew as they were leaving they were ok, loved and happy).

I think I'm upset for what Merry never had, and what she deserved to have. I'm grieving for the loss of her never finding that home and I'm gutted I couldn't do more for her. If she had been here I would have had a shot at, not fixing her, but keeping her comfortable and making her happy. I didnn't have the space and in that respect I feel I let her down. I hate letting them down. Each time it happens I vow never to let it happen again, and yet it does, just in a different way.

If I do have my boarding hutches here then I will have space to provide that final palliative care and love that they deserve. It's just come too late for Merry.
 
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