I lost my beloved Yuki yesterday

[Sakura6267]

It was so quick and horrible. I was syringe feeding him and I picked him up to bring him back downstairs. He almost jumped over my shoulder, and I reached up to grab him. When I did, I heard a loud snap and knew his leg was broken. He jumps like this often, and I didn't grab him that hard, just to prevent him from flying over my shoulder, so I can't understand why his leg would break. I just can't understand what happened. He didn't even jump that much, just a little jump and his leg was broken! He's jumped much more before and didn't break anything, why now? I rushed him to our local vet who confirmed that his femur was broken. The doctor immediately told me that he was not a candidate for bone surgery because he was already so sick with his dental problems. He was in such severe pain yesterday and the day before that I had to bring him in to get a special pain relief injection. He wouldn't eat or drink anything on his own since Monday afternoon and I had to syringe him Critical Care. It took him such a long time to wake up from his tooth burring on Tuesday, never had it taken that long before. And after that he was in more pain than ever even with the Metacam. He wasn't his happy go lucky self at all anymore. He would just sit hunched up. When the vet told me it was best to have him put to sleep because he wouldn't survive the surgery, I just broke down. I never had to make the decision to put a pet to sleep before in my life, and I just couldn't do it. I know it was selfish, but I had to get a second opinion and rushed him to the vet in the city where there was a rabbit expert doctor. She gave me the same diagnosis as my local vet, saying even if he survived the surgery, he would not be able to recover and die from the pain after. She gave him a 10% survival rate for the surgery. He had already been hard to wake up after being on GA for just 15 minutes, he would never survive a whole hour. She showed me the x-ray and he didn't just have a break, the bone was actually splintering and she said it would just keep cracking like that and his leg would have to be amputated which would require another surgery if he survived the first one. I had to decide right there and then because she told me the leg would be causing him unbearable pain soon and they couldn't just leave him like that. I decided to have him put to sleep at my local vet so at least he would be close to home. It took 45 minutes to get back, and I held him in my arms the whole way. This was the hardest thing I ever had to do, and I've never been so sad in my life. The people at my local vet were so kind and understanding. They knew exactly how much I loved this little bunny. He was my baby. I just can't stop crying. The pain is unbearable. I just can't stand it! I have to clean up his cage today. It's too painful even walking past the room he lived in, and it's worse seeing the cage. I always see him hopping around all happy everytime I look at it, and I see him when I close my eyes. I hardly slept last night, I can't eat, I feel so alone and the sadness is overwhelming me. This little bunny was my life. He brought me so much joy. He was so special. Why did he have to die this way? I knew the dental disease he had was serious and he would eventually die from it, but this happened too fast and I feel so shocked. I also feel so guilty. Maybe I should have tried to put him through surgery. Maybe a miracle would have happened and he would have made it and recovered. At least I wouldn't have had to be the one giving them permission to end his precious little life. God I miss him so much. I just can't cope with this pain. I feel like my whole world has ended. He has been with me for over 7 years. He was my constant companion. I don't know how I'm going to live without him. It hurts so much. There's just nothing that can ease this pain. My heart is so broken I doubt it will ever mend. Goodbye my sweet little Yuki-chan. I know you're happy in heaven, but I miss you so much.

[Jaki5]

Oh my your post about your little bun made me well up
By the sounds of it, you done all you could for Yuki, you will drive yourself mad thinking about the what if's.
At some point you'll be able to smile and look back on the amazing 7 years you had with Yuki right now I know it will seem like you wont get to that stage but you will with time.
Don't clean the cage out until you feel you can cope with it, well thats my suggestion.

Just think Yuki will be at the bridge all healthy and looking down on you.
Binky free Yuki xx

[biscandmatt1]

so very sorry for your loss binky free yuki xxx

[Tinsel]

Every bunny owner's worse nightmare

So sorry for your loss

[Crawley Guinea Pig Rescue]

Dont beat yourself up for your loss. Things have a strange way of turning themselves around and perhaps you have saved him from going through too much pain, he would of known 7 years of love and thats a fantastic thing. I too had to make a decision like yours regarding a bunnies double broken back leg, I made the PTS decision for the bunny and not for me, you have made the same decision and for the bunnies sake you have done the right thing, you should hold your head up high. Grief is a horrible emotion and I give you all the sympathy I can.

RIP Yuki

[Stephy]

omg .... I am so, so sorry - I'm crying for you All I can say is, no matter what you think, it's not your fault and you obviously loved and cared for your bunny very much - I feel for you as I've felt this pain myself, although under different circumstances. Your bunny would have felt your love, you should keep that in mind xxx

[Jack's-Jane]

How totally devastating for you
What a tragic accident, I am so very sorry

Binky Free Yuki

xx

[Bluesmum]

I'm so sorry.
Binky free Yuki
xx

[Sakura6267]

Thank you for the sympathy. I just can't bear this grief. It's like nothing I've ever felt before. I've had pets die before, but not one that I had for such a long time, and one that I was so attached and connected to. He was such a sweet bunny. He never bit me, ever. He was so affectionate and gave me bunny kisses all the time. He loved to binky and hop around, and he was so happy and smart. I just can't believe he's gone. I seriously can't deal with it. This is such a deep sorrow. Oh it hurts so bad. I just don't know how I can go on without him. I wish my tears could bring him back to me.

[HS]

Oh, I'm so sorry
My Ruby broke her leg by pulling on a cage bar - the vet said that she must have had bone cancer for that to happen.
We also opted not to have her leg amputated, but to PTS as her prognosis wasn't good anyway adn her quality of life would have been nil.
It was a very hard decision, just as your was, but I know it was the best thing for my Ruby, and it was the right thing for Yuki too. A very brave and selfless decision.
Binky free Yuki.