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feeling guilty

theresa

Warren Veteran
i was at an event on sunday, local fete and was sat talking to my other friends who have buns, . looked up and a lady was listening intently as i was going on about my lops i took in the other week, and she piped up as quick as a flash, oooh do you take in rabbits then, i replied yes if i can, have room etc, she promtly told me she has two rabbits shes tried to give away in local papers etc. could i take them. full to the brim as another little man was handed to me by a friend who really couldnt cope, i just dont have the room or the money for more, so i told her no, i directed her to two rescues in our area, both really good, but she said she,d tried and could get no answer, which on gut instinct i dont believe. i told her to come on ru and some-one would help her guilt free. but thats all i could do. she went away not pleased, leaving me feeling like :censored: , should i have took them and hoped i could get help, or what, this was sunday and i cant get these poor rabbits out of my head, i just feel so guilty. i try telling mysef i dont have the money, setup, or health to save every bun , but its not working..if this happens again which i know it will should i take them and get in contact with some-oneon here for help, advic.e please as i cant go through this again .its way to upsetting. thankyou x
 
Poor you. :( That's a really difficult one to answer, as if you'd taken them, then tried to find homes via here, there's no guarantee you would get them. So, all things considered, I think you did the right thing if you have no room for them.
 
You were right. How can you possibly take every rabbit that crosses your path. These weren't abandoned or neglected, they were unwanted and there is a difference. This woman has no right to make anyone but herself feel guilty. Doing rescue makes you grow a tough skin and you HAVE to know when to say no and mean it. You would end up in a right state if you took everything in, thats why waiting lists exist!

I have put a thread up in rabbits in need for 4 rabbits that have dumped and have ended up at the vets. I am full and can't take them, but I would say these were in much more need of a space than those rabbits and no-one has come forward to help with them yet.

All across the country rabbits are being dumped left right and centre. We can only take what we can manage and no more. We have to remember we don't create these problems, we only try to help where we have the facilities.
 
I think I would have done exactly as you did - given them all the information they needed to try to responsibly find a home, or a rescue able to take them. Please don't beat yourself up over it - you can't save them all. :(
 
i know what your saying and logic told me the same, but in the back of my mind i cant stop the worrying, shes going on holiday next week she said, and i only pray the poor buns arnt left to fend for themselves.
 
It's a hard decision but there is the chance you'd be stuck with them and not be able to give your other rescue buns the right care. The last few times I've fostered rats in situations like this (owners moving away, tried rehoming but no luck, etc) no one's come forward for a new home so they've ended up staying so I can't take on anymore (trying not to increase my own numbers so I can't risk them not being homed again)
 
Definitely. She's possibly even managed to find a new home for them with a neighbour or friend/relative.
 
You poor thing!:( I TOTALLY understand why you feel the way that you do.....I would be the same. But it is true, YOU didn't create the problem, the woman created it herself. It would be SO lovely to be able to help every single bun that needs it, but very sadly, that just isn't possible. You should concentrate on all of the ones that you HAVE helped, and how much better their lives are now because of you. This woman should be totally ashamed of herself for making you feel this way. It REALLY annoys me that people can make a mess of things, and then make OTHERS feel guilty about it because they can't get them out of it.:evil: :evil:

I REALLY hope she doesn't just go off on holiday and leave the buns alone to fend for themselves. Does anyone know her and know where she lives so that it could be checked up on whilst she's away?????

GRRRRRRRRRRR !!!!!:evil: :evil:
 
I remember when I rescued the piggies, their owner gave my phone number to a breeder friend of hers :roll: I got a call from this 'lady' saying she had 3 female rex bunnies that she 'had to get rid of today' and if I didn't take them she 'didn't know what she would do with them' :( I told her I'd let her know.

I then had a day of frantically wondering if I could somehow save these poor bunnies, but with 14 new and pregnant piggies and 6 rabbits, it just wasn't possible :( I didn't feel guilty, because it was her fault not mine, but I did feel so sad for these poor bunnies. In the end you do what you can and have to accept you can't save them all without totally going under and letting down the ones you already have responsibility for.

There are so many rabbits suffering terribly everywhere - if I couldn't put it out of my mind and concentrate on the ones I have, I'd be very depressed. If you are a caring person you are vulnerable to feeling too much, and need to block it out for the sake of your own sanity and health.
 
And it is qute amazing how many people make up the 'they have to go today or else' scenario to try to force you to take them straight away. It's usually lies to get them their own way. As soon as they start saying that to me I tell them I won't be emotionally blackmailed and I will try to help them but they have to give me some time. Usually works.
 
And it is qute amazing how many people make up the 'they have to go today or else' scenario to try to force you to take them straight away. It's usually lies to get them their own way. As soon as they start saying that to me I tell them I won't be emotionally blackmailed and I will try to help them but they have to give me some time. Usually works.


I imagine thats a really difficult situation to be in I know it would really play on my mind :cry:

Its good that you find they are usually only threats though :)
 
thankyou you lot , i know its not going to go away, its will make me feel bad , but as you,ve made me see, if i took on these two, tomorrow another two could appear in the shabby cardboard box which has happened then i cant help them, plus i couldnt live with putting my own at risk
 
I work at a rehoming centre for cats and dogs, and I must take an average of 30-40 calls a day from people who have animals they "need to get rid of today" or are "going to just let it go" or are emigrating in 2 days time"......
It can be soul destroying, but there is a limit to how far resources (including yourself) can be stretched.
There will always be more rabbits that need help, and I know that's no consolation when you've had to say "no", but some people are so keen to dump their responsibilities on others.:cry:
 
Yeah I was thinking today what a conundrum it is - You rescue because you care, but if you care too much you're no use to anyone, so you have to harden your heart to an extent, which is difficult if you're caring enough to want to rescue in the first place! :?
 
I agree, I care immensely if I actually see the animal, but if not I have trained myself to switch off as I understand I can't absorb all that emotion that floats around these situations. I have to do it to keep sane!
 
the thing that really winds me up is there is help out there if you search enough, thanks to one such person who handed in two rexes to our local rescue i have chilly our chin rex and darkness my black otter, stunning rabbits who ive had for four years now
 
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