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Is there ever a 'right time'?!!

beckiboo186

Warren Veteran
So after loosing Charlie, we waited a long time (Well, 7 months-ish) before thinking about getting another bun. Yet when we got Boo, for the first few days I still struggled to bond with her .. which was hard, but when I stopped trying so hard to love her, she completely won me over :love: She's not been gone long at all, & I know that she will never be replaced, but there are so many bunnies needing homes/love etc :( Personally, I am more than happy with Till, and wouldnt really out of choice have another, but the world doesnt revolve around 'I' & 'Me' .. and I know I can give another bunny a good home. If I do decide to go ahead, there are two bunnies who'll get first choice, one of which is special needs :? Most people say Dont do it, dont get more buns, too soon, You & Till have been hurt enough this year, but there are one or two people backing it ... I showed one lovely lady the special needs bun, and she said Your name is written all over his adoption papers ... :) I'm so stuck on what to do!!! X

P.s. Just to add, Tills is v.happy on her own, and lots of people are saying she's a lot happier being an only bun!! :?
 
its such a tough desicion becki. you have been through so much already and so has tilly, but dont let that stop you.if you look at the bun and feel your destined to be together then go for it. there is no right or wrong time to get a new bun after another one has passed away just go with your heart and you will make the right desicion
 
It's a difficult one...
When we lost Donut this summer, we waited about a month before trying Egg with another bun. We really weren't sure how she'd react (or for that matter if we wanted another bun after the heartache of losing Donut), but seeing her in the run with Tuesday being all interested in each other made our mind up.

Ultimately we got Tuesday to keep Egg company. Donut can never be replaced, but we are doing (or trying to do) the best for Egg.
It seems that they are very happy together, but the dynamic between them is very different to the dynamic between Egg and Donut (not in a bad way, just different)
 
beckiboo186 said:
P.s. Just to add, Tills is v.happy on her own, and lots of people are saying she's a lot happier being an only bun!! :?

Tills is your bun and it doesn't matter what other people say, at the end of the day you know her best and in your heart you'll know what's best for her. If you feel you can give another bun a home that otherwise will miss out on a lot of love and that Tills would be happy with this then why not? You need to be sure in yourself though - dont feel pressurised into making a decision til you're both ready and don't feel you cant make a decision if you are based on what others think.
 
Just a thought but have you considered taking Till to a rescue to see if there is a bun she likes?
Surely if she's not ready then she wouldn't accept another bun anyway?

It's your choice though, don't let anyone else influence you, you know her best :)
 
It's a tought one Becky... but it's not one you need to rush on. I'm in no doubt that Tills is one very happy bun at the moment, and is getting loads of love and attention from you. :)

I agree with whats been said. It's worth taking her to a rescue and trying her with the buns youve got in mind, and she will tell you if she's ready for a new friend :)

Veronica x
 
I think its individual choice, when i lost Amy I went out and got Sugarplum the same day and although I was looking for an Amy replacement and she wasn't Amy I still loved her.
 
Jayney said:
you have been through so much already and so has tilly

Thats who I'm worried about, I know that whatever happens, I'll cope, but if she ends up getting hurt again, It'll have been all my fault .. again!! :( Kayjay, Nope its not Harley .. This little man is quite a bit more special needs that him. I'm certainly not looking for a replacement for either Charlie or Boo, I just feel that there is a good home here that maybe somebun needs. Becki Xx

P.s. Thanks Veronica :oops:
 
Harley? Did someone say Harley? Is Harley a bun from Sheffield, per chance??

If so, I think I saw a thread on another forum about him :love:

EDIT: This is the Harley I'm thinking of:

http://www.rabbitrehome.org.uk/moreinfo.asp?RabID=7150

:love:

Edit again to say: I don't think there is ever a 'right time' for another bun - you really do have to go with your heart and try to put aside ideas about what is 'right' or 'wrong' to do. I felt really guilty about getting another bun after Vincent, especially as it was just a few weeks later, but I fell in love with Jacob on the spot.

As you say - you can't replace Charlie or Boo and getting another bun wouldn't be a way of trying to achieve that either. But if a bun has caught your eye and you're unsure as to what to do, I'd go along and meet him in person :D If it doesn't feel right, go with your feelings and wait a little while. If it does feel right, go for it :love: (assuming Tills feels the same way! ;)) The most important thing is to have confidence in what you feel and try not to be swayed by either your own guilt OR other people's comments about Tills needing a companion.

I hope it works out for you Becki - it's rare you can get a true idea of what someone is like on an Internet forum but I do believe you are truly lovely and Boo was absolutely blessed, just as Tills and any future bunnies you take on will be too :love: Good luck hun xx
 
I think you need to stop feeling pressurised to do what 'some people' think is right and decide what you feel is right :) To some extend the world does evolve around you, there is no point taking on a bun because you feel you should, if you take on a bun it should be because you want to. If you feel the need to help there are lots of ways that you can without taking on a bun :)

There is no set grieving period and people deal in different ways. Some people will adopt again quickly because they deal better with another bun to help others feel the need to wait longer - just do what feels right for you :)

If you feel that "I am more than happy with Till, and wouldnt really out of choice have another" then I think that's what you should do :) If you feel different in a month or a years time then you change your mind. Today's decision isn't something you have to abide by forever :)

Tam
 
I got Ruby about a week after Nougat died, but only because Bobby is an outdoor bunny, and not overly keen on people. He was really missing the bunny company and Ruby complements him perfectly.
If Tills is happy and you're happy, keep things as they are for now.
Hugs to you.
 
Maybe by taking on a special needs bunny you need to be prepared that you and Till might get hurt again sooner rather than later also. I think taking on these special bunnies is a fantastic thing to do but we then open ourselves up to the increased possibilities of health issues and earlier than usual death. If you can cope with that it's a brill thing to be able to do, however if you're looking for a long term companion for Till then maybe that's not so fair on her. Perhaps you could get a special needs bunny or two but not alongside Till?
 
It is really hard isn't it?? :( I got Clio just 2 weeks after losing James... but I kinda had to really because everything had already been arranged. If it hadn't I probably wouldn't have got her. BUT I'm sooooo glad I did, even though NO bun could ever replace James, I couldn't imagine being without her now!!
I also said I didn't want anymore boy buns and no buns would have a name beginning with J... then I fell in love with Jasper and adopted him! Again, I couldn't be without him :love:

Obviously everyone is different so just do what feels right for you hun :D
If you take Til to a rescue and try her with other buns, I'm sure she'd tell you if she's realy for another friend or not xx
 
I think after what you have been through it would be tough to lose another bun. But who is to say this would happen? Tilly seems happy on her own and is a proper mummy's girl so its not as if she needs bunny company.

I know what you are saying that you CAN offer a great home to another bun but at the same time if you aren't really too keen on the idea you just stick with Tills hun.

If you were to get another bun nobody would judge you saying its too soon either :)
 
I agree with Tamsin... don't go on what other people say. If your not a 100% sure you want another bun then stick with Tilly. She makes you happy and visa versa. Enjoy Tilly and stop worrying about what others are thinking. And Tamsin has very wise words

If you feel different in a month or a years time then you change your mind. Today's decision isn't something you have to abide by forever

Yep, there are millions of buns that need some loving but we can't help them all. Look where i am. If i were to bring home every animal i fell in love with, i wouldn't be able to move, and my mum would go nuts :lol:
 
i think the fact you are asking suggests you are quite keen to adopt another bun, but are just not sure if its too soon. :wink: :)

Tills probably is very happy, but she had a friend before, so Im sure she'd love one again.

No one can tell you its too soon, go for it when you feel the time is right :thumb:
 
I lost three buns in quick succession this year and I thought long and hard about whether I could cope with the heartache of losing more.

In my case I tried to think about it from Cosmos' point of view.

He had been an ex-breeders bunny so used to living in close proximity of loads of rabbits. Then after a time in rescue also in close proximity to other bunnies I bonded him with Violet and he had lived with her for over a year. When he lost Violet he was still next door to Zeus and Athena and even though they fought whenever they were tried together at least he had their company through the fence.

Then when he was the only one left and he couldn't become a house bun because of the dogs I knew I couldn't give him enough one to one time to replace his lost bunny companionship plus with Winter coming and being a rex he needed someone to snuggle with so I decided to adopt a companion for him.

As it was to be his choice I let him decide, I had a few preferences but ultimately it was to be up to him. As it was the first rabbit he was put in with was perfect and they clicked really well (she was more keen than him but she won him over).

Because of the heartache I went through with two sickly bunnies and yes the hefty vets bills weighed on my mind too I wanted a young, healthy rabbit to join Cosmos and with no shortage of buns in rescue that wasn't a problem.

It is up to you to decide! People putting pressure on you to adopt can be just as bad as people telling you not to (unless the people telling you not to pay the bills). You have to decide what is best for you and Tills.

Caz
 
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