Angels....

I thought I would post this here as it seems the most appropriate place. Yesterday, I visited my mum and we watched Songs of Praise (normally, I would still be buzzing around at that time of day!): the programme was all about losing someone you love and faith. There was a lovely lady on called Sarah who had lost her small son, tragically and quickly - she said that on the day he passed, she and her husband were lying on either side of him on the bed and he sat up and said something like "Mummy...angel" and she said to him "Oh darling, can you see an angel" and he said "no Mummy TWO ANGELS"!!!!!!! He died shortly afterwards. My heart was ready to burst........I am so glad that I had the benefit of hearing this lovely lady's words, it was inspiring.

So maybe I could dedicate this post to her little boy, Josh, who runs with the angels.......

Aww that is lovely thought!

Very very sad xx

I just can't imagine how it would feel to lose a child so can only offer heartfelt thoughts for Sarah and her husband

I believe in angels, i think my babies are up in the clouds swinging around watching me and Mark and making sure we are behaving ourselves
There is no word for losing a baby or child, if you lose your parents you are an orphan if you lose your husband/wife you are a widow/widower if you lose a child you are utterly devestated and there is no pain like it. The little boy gave his parents the best gift, the knowledge that he will be looked after and loved by these gentle and wonderful beings. His parents must feel torn but the comfort they must have found in his words will go along way to making the journey through grief that tiny bit easier.
Josh may you have a ball , run, jump and have fun in the clouds, laugh out loud and dream the most wonderful dreams, if you can every now and then let your parents know you are still safe in the arms of the angels, rest easy sweet boy xxxx

When i lost my twins i was sent this poem, it kind of sums up how you feel when you lose a baby or child.

You can't win with me!

If you say to me "How are you doing?"
with such sympathy and meaning in your voice.
I reply, "I'm fine" and brush you off, because to talk
about my loss with you today is just too painful.
If you see me and don't mention the loss that is
consuming my thoughts, I think you don't care enough,
or are too scared to mention it for fear that you might upset me.

You can't win with me.
If you say, "I'm sorry your baby died," it is hard for me to reply to that.
What do you expect me to say?
I want to say "I'm sorry too!" or "It's awful"
I want to scream "It's not fair"
But I won't because I don't want to upset myself today, not in front of
you.
So I reply "Thank you"
That thanks means so much more than that.
It means thanks for caring, thanks for trying to help,
thanks for realising that I'm still in pain.
If you don't know what to say to me that's okay
because I don't know what to say to you either.
If you see me smile or laugh don't assume I must have
forgotten my baby for the moment, I haven't, I can't,
I never will.
Tell me that I look good today.
I will know what you mean.
I'm getting good at picking up unspoken cues from you.
If you see me and think I look upset or sad,
you are probably right.
Today might be an anniversary day for me, or some
event might have triggered a wave of grief in me.
If you don't say anything I'll think you don't care
about me, but if you do say something, it might make
me feel worse.
You could try asking if I want to talk, but don't be
surprised if I say no.


You can't win with me.
Don't give up on me please don't give up.
I need your attempts however feeble, however trite
you might feel they are
I need your thoughts
I need your prayers.
I need your love.
I need your persistence.
I need all that but most of all I need to be treated
normally, like it used to be before all this happened.
But I know it's impossible.
That carefree, naive person is gone forever, and I am
mourning that loss too.
So you can't win with me.


© Jane Warland 1996

That's really nice

that's really nice and says it all. A poem like that would have also helped me after loosing my baby boy

sparklefairy said:

that's really nice and says it all. A poem like that would have also helped me after loosing my baby boy

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I am so sorry you had to go through a loss too, sorry does seem an inadequate word when you feel your world is ending, when all you want to do is scream at the unfairness of it all and then shut yourself away so no one can ever hurt you again but it also seems like the first thing you have to say. My thoughts are with you xxxxxx

Mark and Shell said:

sparklefairy said:

that's really nice and says it all. A poem like that would have also helped me after loosing my baby boy

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I am so sorry you had to go through a loss too, sorry does seem an inadequate word when you feel your world is ending, when all you want to do is scream at the unfairness of it all and then shut yourself away so no one can ever hurt you again but it also seems like the first thing you have to say. My thoughts are with you xxxxxx

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Hugs to all of you xxx

Mark and Shell said:

sparklefairy said:

that's really nice and says it all. A poem like that would have also helped me after loosing my baby boy

Click to expand...

I am so sorry you had to go through a loss too, sorry does seem an inadequate word when you feel your world is ending, when all you want to do is scream at the unfairness of it all and then shut yourself away so no one can ever hurt you again but it also seems like the first thing you have to say. My thoughts are with you xxxxxx

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thank you, I'm also very sorry you went through this too I wouldn't wish this amount of hurt, loss, emptiness and sadness on anyone. I know exactly what you are saying. hugs xx

awwwwwwww thats lovley somthing like that would have helped me to after i lost one of my twins alex in 2003

I lost a baby too, although he/she was only about 9 weeks gestation. I was just 14 years old and terrified . I mourn the loss even now yet have never spoken of it. The poem is lovely and I am CERTAIN Josh will be with Angels who will always protect him. Janex

I have never had the privilege of even anticipating a child but I know I can empathise with those of you who have lost them, it truly breaks my heart.......

Our bunnies are our children too and the pain of losing them is just as great, Millie was rushed to the vets this evening as he wasn't eating which is most out of character for him, both me and mark were terrified of anything happening to him, he is our baby and we love him and all our other bunnies so fiercely. Thankfully he seems ok but it will be a long night.

Josh will be with the angels as are all our other babies so very wanted and sadly taken due to their beauty and the need for new angels to watch over and protect us. As a community on this forum we can be strong for each other and share with each other everything and know that someone will understand our pain, to everyone who has lost a baby my love goes to you and for Josh's parents although i don't know them i send them my thoughts, my love and my strentgh xxxx