For Bilbo ( it's been a year)

As we lit up our candles tonight to remember Harriet and our love ones over the bridge my thoughts came to you Bilbo, my little man. I always knew from the moment we met back in 1997, this was going to be a very special friendship.
You were lost and alone, abandoned in a locked hutch, I still can't belive how anyone could have left you behind like that. I was also alone and confused and really needed a friend in my teenage years. I took you home and we bonded straight away, I'll never forget how you skipped around me in my bedroom, it was if you were telling me " thank you!" we spent many hours together and you became my best friend.
You made me laugh when you threw your toys around, and skipped around with the toy piglet in your mouth. You comforted me by snuggling up close when I was feeling sad. You were there though it all, a lot of the time you were the only one there for me, the only one I could talk to. You saw me cry over a thousand times, you were there when friends came and went from my life. You were the one thing that got me through much heartache. You saw and heard things no one should ever see but you still remained calm, loyal and comforting,even through allthe shouting and screaming in our other house, before we came back home. You know, I sometimes wonder if you were really a bunny, I used to wonder if you were a little angel in a bunny suit you didn't act like a bunny, you seemed to know and understand so much more.
When Freeda was brought home, bless her, she was abused and broken we could only offer her a home for such a short time, nasty humans had hurt her so much but you were so gentle to that little girl, you stayed by her side until the end. You were such a comfort to her, and now you are together.
Then in 2004, a baby Gypsy came into our lives, another unwanted soul but she came to the right place. She was confused and frightened having had no human contact, but again, you were the big gentle giant and evenchally she trusted you you taught her so much. You stayed by her side, you looked after her and even when she grew up into a confident young lady you were still gentle and loving, even though her crazy teenage stage when she pulled out your fur. I know you loved her so much. I also know that she gave you a new lease of life, even if you were only together one year.
Oh Bilbo, how I wish we could have saved you. We can only guess your age, you were already well passed one year when you came to me, you were with me until june 23rd 2005. I wish I could have done more, you really shouldn't have died in such a horrible way, not my lovely Bilbo, how could it happen to you? I still cry now, it still hurts. I just don't understand. You were clean, our room was clean but some how that fly still got you. It happened so fast, you were fine when we cuddled the night before, you were still healthy, but the next morning you were hunched up. I thought it was the heat. I went to run you a cool bath, then I saw what that ******* fly had done to you!! flystrike I wrapped you up in a towel, I rang the emergency vet, she even stopped sunbathing in her garden for us!. She tried to get all those nasty things off you. I'm sorry that opperation hurt you so much, I didn't know how much pain you would be in but I tried to save you, I couldn't let you go. You wouldn't eat, you were very sick. I rushed you back to the vets and they had to keep you in, your poor tummy had stoped working. We tried to keep you with us, but you left us during the night at the vets.
Bilbo, I'm so sorry I put you through all that pain. I'm sorry I wasn't with you. I hate my self because you died all alone in a strange place. I wish you knew we tried to save you. I didn't abandon you in that place, I thought you was coming home. You had been there for me all these years and I couldn't even be there for you in your hour of need but during that night while you were at the vets and I was at home I knew you had left me. I woke up crying and I couldn't stop crying. I'll never forget that feeling of dread going to the vets knowing what they were going to tell me. Even though I knew, I still fell down on the floor crying and crying, I wasn't even aware of the full waiting room. The vet drove me home with you, you were all wrapped up in a towel. I sat in the house alone. I had to look at you to say good-bye, but when I saw you, I knew it wasn't you any more, you had gone and your body was the empty set of clothes you no longer needed.
It's been so hard without you. Gypsy took your passing very hard. She was on her own for 5 months. I felt strange about getting her a friend, but decided that she shouldn't have to be alone. I brought Storm home for her, I often wonder what you would think of him, he's a crazy young rabbit, very funny and naughty I'm looking after him and Gypsy, you should see Gypsy now, she's so beautiful!
We still miss you very much and you'll always be in my heart. Here are some pictures I want the whole world to see, they can see how hansome you are. There's even one of you with Freeda, poor little girl had so much pain in her life. Please tell her I'm sorry I couldn't do more to help her


and I wrote this for you

For Bilbo

I hear your whisper on the wind
Your footsteps in the dark
I hold on to your memory
You still live on inside my heart
I close my eyes
and you are there
I hold on for a while
as I need you near

It hurts to know
That you are gone
But deep inside I know
You must move on

Spirits never die
They just grow wings
Away they fly
Like a bird of freedom
Away you flew
But part of me
Will always stay with you

You will always be here
From the memories we shared
As long as you are in my heart
You will always be near

xxxxx

This has just made me cry.
Bilbo sounds like he was such a special boy, you were so lucky to have had him in your life.

*Hugs*

Rest in peace Bilbo and all others that passed this month.

xxx

Your story has made me cry as well Sparklefairy. I am so sorry that this happened to your Angel Bilbo. What a wonderful life you gave him and the other babies. Bilbo needed you and you need him. Such a lovely tribute to him. I am thinking of you

Thank you for your kind words, and for taking the time to read Bilbo's story. Yes, he was very special, even though he left me 7 months ago it still hurts I have not felt able to write a tribute until now. I wish I could have done more for him, I feel like he should still be here.
Here's a pic of him as an older man, with a young Gypsy

You must have been so utterly devastated, I am so sorry that your precious boy went like that, life can be so unfair sometimes.....but he is at the Bridge now playing with all the other bunnies and he will be happy and waiting for you.....

Your tribute to Bilbo was very moving and I cried too!
You did your absolute best for your bunny and I know that he loved you as much as you loved him. You must stop beating yourself up about not
being there, you loved him and did what was best for him considering the very difficult circumstances you and he were in, you never ever failed him! Please pm feel free to pm me if you ever feel the need to talk.

Carrie

awww - 3 tissues soggy, it's a heart-wrenching story of love, as most love stories are, and a lovely tribute to a wonderful bunny

Sparklefairy, I have just read this at work and I am having to bite my bottom lip not to cry, I've gone all hot and funny. What a really lovely moving tribute. I lost one of my buns to flystrike, the vet got all the yucky things out and said I had spotted it in time, but he didn't make it. I know how you feel. Have fun at the bridge Bilbo and Freeda. Sending you love n hugs.

A lovely tribite to a loyal friend. I am crying too but you gave Bilbo a wonderful life and Im sure he knew itxx
Hope you are running free as the wind Bilbo

Thank you so much for all of your lovely words. Your support means so much to me. I'm sorry I made you cry I get very emotional talking and thinking of my special little man Bilbo. He really was a one off. I was so lucky to have him in my life. It's still not the same without him 7 months on I think part of me died with him.

sparklefairy said:

Thank you so much for all of your lovely words. Your support means so much to me. I'm sorry I made you cry I get very emotional talking and thinking of my special little man Bilbo. He really was a one off. I was so lucky to have him in my life. It's still not the same without him 7 months on I think part of me died with him.

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Eveyone of my pets that has died has taken a piece of me with them and I still get upset years later over them. People say that it's not the same as losing a person, but they are wrong. Animals give more love than some people I know!

I agree Cyberbunny, animals give more love than most people and you know where you are with animals. It's sad when people can't see their animal friends in the same light as we do. They will never know the joy of a close an loving relationship with their pets, but probably not the heart ache of loosing a much loved friend either.

Awwwwwwww Cyberbunny,
Your tribute to. Bilbo is beautiful and the poem is so moving, yep i`m crying too!
He really was a beautiful bunny and indeed sounded an absolute darling.
I`m sure he`s now binkying free at the bridge with all the other lovelies who`ve passed over.
Sending big hugs,
Su.x

I know what you mean Sparklefairy, a part of my soul definitely departed when Harriet did, nothing has ever been the same without her.

what a lovely tribute to bilbo, he sounds like a very special bunny. you obviously loved him very much, please don't blame yourself

Hi Sparklefairy,

A mutual friend of ours sant me the link to your tribute to Bilbo on this site. I very rarely cry but I did find myself blinking back tears as I read this moving story.

I know how you feel about 'leaving' Bilbo at the vets, this happened to me once with a dog, Scruffy, who I loved very much. Scruffy was at the end of his life when I took him to the vet for the last time to be mercifully put down, but the trusting, questioning look he gave me as I left was heartbreaking, and still hurts 20 years later. A friend of mine who stayed with his dog described the event as beautiful but I felt more comfortable not being a witness, though I still feel guilty about 'abandoning' Scruffy.

You did all you could and more for Bilbo and I'm sure the time he spent with you more than compensated for the bad times in his life. He undoubtedly experienced more love, fun and pleasure in this short period than the majority of rabbits will see in a full lifetime.

Thanks Drunc, I was very surprised to see you here. I'm sorry to hear about Scruffy. Animals can break our heart sometimes. When they leave they always seem to take a piece of our heart with them
I tried so hard to keep Bilbo with me and Gypsy, I feel bad having put him through all that pain and for him to die alone. he was my baby boy and it still hurts, I think it always will

My dear friend Sparklefairy,

as you can see I finally made it to this forum. Just wanted to tell you (again) that I think your tribute and poem for Bilbo are very beautiful and touching. I know how hard losing Bilbo has been for you, and how much you've been hurting. But please don't blame yourself for anything, you did the best you could and gave him a very good life and a lot of love. BTW, I think it is very nice of our mutual friend Drunc to come here and post in this thread.

Love, M xxx

That has upset me