Feeling disheartened

I adopted Malcolm and Sandy about 6 weeks ago and having read around the subject i knew that it would take some time to earn their trust, but I'm really becoming disheartened now.

Malcolm will take food from my hand and will let me stroke him while he eats but he hops away as soon as the food is gone. He will let me stroke him at other times but sits huddled up and makes it clear that he is tolerating rather than enjoying it.

Sandy will approach me if i sit with them for a while but is much more
timid and runs away if i move to touch her.

Picking them up is almost pointless as they run away at the first opportunity. Sandy started kicking and biting but I had her spayed last week and haven't tried picking her up since as i don't want her to pull her stitches.

While i was prepared for it to take time it is very demoralising. They clamber to get back into their cage when ever i enter the room, and will quite happily spend the whole day and night there doing nothing at all.

At the moment it just seems like a whole lot of cage cleaning for nothing in return.

I really am attached to them but a guy can only take so much rejection

Seriously though I really am starting to wonder if they do make good pets after all.

Am i just expecting to much to soon? They are five and six months old now.

Damien

I am so sorry that it is taking longer than you hoped to "bond" with your bunnies. I am no expert but I am sure that you will get loads of help here...just thinking of you

It can take a while for bunnies to want to come for a cuddle, and some don't at all. I've had Bobby for 3 years now and he doesn't like me approaching him. He'll come for attention if he wants it. Nougat, who I rescued about 6 months ago, won't leave me alone, but hates being picked up. Squidgy lives inside with us and we can do anything with him!
All bunnies are different and sometimes it can take a while. I know it's hard, but maybe just sit in the area, completely ignoring them, and let them come and sniff you out.
These links may help
http://forums.rabbitrehome.org.uk/viewtopic.php?p=85869&highlight=#85869
http://www.rabbitrehome.org.uk/care/handling.asp

awww hugs to you I can understand you feeling a little rejected. I think all buns are different, though I would say given the choice most buns don't like to be cuddled they like to feel their feet on the ground.

We had two rescue buns 7 weeks ago though they are a lot older than yours. its taken time to gain their trust, sounds like we are at about the same stage, a quick stroke is all we get but I have accepted that. It warms my heart that in a morning Blossom actually walks past the food I have just given her to come and see me if only for a 30 second ear rub.

Keep at it your buns are still very young and when their hormones settle after the spay they maybe different again.

Good luck

I've had my 3 buns for just over 1 year, and they aren't keen on being picked up; I think it's the case for most of them. Fern is the oldest (2 yrs) and is happy to be stroked, and nudges back. The younger two (1 yr) are a little more wary - I can stroke their ears/cheeks if they're eating, but if I try to stroke down their backs, for example, they'd rather wriggle away. But having said that, they are more comfortable than they used to be, and they do come forward to see me when I come in the room. If I let them come to me they're happy to be around me, I think they just like knowing they can make a speedy exit if required!
I'm not to bothered about the fact they don't want hugs all the time; I love just watching them interact and do their bunny things! It's nice to be trusted enough to stroke and cuddle them though, and I think if we persevere it'll happen.
Jo

All rabbits are different.
I found with my rabbits, that some can be easier to be "trained" to be more social than others.

With Hutch, from as soon as I had him I made him sit on my knee or by me until he was settled.
He could then go where he wanted, explore etc.
After about a fortnight of doing this, he'd sit with me voluntarily for about 20 mins.
(ideal for a good groom as he is a cashmere)
after that, he'll go and lie in his donut, until it's outside time.
(unless i fall asleep on the sofa, then he insists on jumping on me to make sure im alive!)

Fawn on the other hand really doesn't like being picked up.
I constantly give her attention from her hutch, feed her bits of veg when she's out.
She now comes running and loves a rub, and even licks me back!

The most important thing to remember is to not give up.
I know it's easy to become disheartened, but the results are well worth it.

Please dont feel disheartened. My bun hates being handled and often growls when stroked! Shes just like that. Your bunnies will love you because you keep them safe and well, its just they have different ways of showing it. Mine runs up when i open the door to say hello but thinks shes far too cool to be picked up and fussed! Hang in there your bunnies will soon show you they love you in their own special way!

Try not to feel too rejected. As others have said ALL rabbits are different. There are VERY timmed ones that will run at the slightist sound, and then there are rabbits like mine that couldn't give a toss about anything, and you have to step over them to get out of the room :roll: The best thing to do is give them time and maybe play them at there own game, don’t make it look like your trying to hard. But do spend a lot of time at ground level with them. If one of the rabbits is coming up to you then don’t move at all, just let them sniff you for awhile. Before you know it they will let you stroke them on there head (between the eyes - like in my sig) they love this and will be running back for more. But remember to take everything (including movements) slowly. Rabbits are naturally timed, and we are large and confident, we are on the opposite sides of the food chain.

Hi Damien - a lot of good advice given here already. You say adopted so where they from a rescue and do you know their background? There could be something there thats making the trusting process longer. good luck.

hi

Sorry you're feeling unappreciated Damo - Your bunnies need you, even if they don't realise it - and you're doing a great job just keeping them happy and healthy

Firstly, it's early days yet, and your 2 bunnies are very young - just babies still, plus Sandy will be hormonal for a couple of months after her spay too - and is Malc neutered?

My son gets impatient that my two (after 3 and a half months) aren't 'into' people particularly...they will come up and sniff you without fear, and poke you a few times with their noses to give permission for a stroke (I only stroke them while they're eaing at their dish otherwise)...I've told him that, like cats, rabbits will run away if you approach them - I told him he needs a dog if he wants it any other way :lol:

I have only picked my 2 up a couple of times, when I really had to for their own safety - the way I treat it is that I will hopefully have them around for the next 10 years - that's plenty of time for them to get more cuddly, which I'm sure they will as they get older and more used to me...It's a case of 'slowly slowly catchee monkey' (or rabbit!) - if you rush things you take 2 steps back again as they have loooong memories :wink:

Meanwhile a very fixed routine for feeding and exercise seems to settle them, and when I'm with them I talk softly constantly - I mean constantly - I sound like I'm mumbling to myself like a looney, but I don't want to startle them, and that seems to soothe them...I only stroke them a bit then I leave them in peace until they come with a nudge - I'm sure if I picked them up every day they would be giving me a very wide berth by now, so save it for emergencies until I've built up their confidence in me - which I don't expect to happen for years really.

So I'm easily pleased I guess - if I get a nudge or my boot licked, or they skip around me happily, I consider myself honoured! Most of my satisfaction comes from seeing how contented and healthy they look, rather than from close contact with them. They make wonderful pets I think - the best I've ever had - because they are so fun to watch and be around - any stroking is a bonus. If you don't expect much then you may be pleasantly suprised one day

Mr Ralf pictured at the bottom, hated people when I first got him, he lunged and growled at anyone. I've had him a year now, and believe me, it really does pay off spending as much time as poss with them. I very rarely ever pick him up, cos he doesnt like it, so I dont force him. He comes up to me willingly now and LOVES a brush and having a head massage!! I couldnt have got near those teeth before, but now I can put my hand totally under his chin while I give his nose a rub!! He sits there chomping his teeth (the equivelant to a cats purr!). This has taken a whole year - but it was so worth it.

Unfortunately some bunnies just arnt cuddly and dont like to be stroked. My rescue lop Phoebe hated being stroked, and I had her 2 years. She was never agressive but I just didnt force the subject and she was so much happier for it. She eventually started eating out of my hand, but leapt whenever I went to stroke her!!

I love the fact that all bunnies are different, and each one has an individual character. Phoebe had been abused in her last home, so I gave her a break and thought she deserved to live life the way she wanted to. Even though she was never a cuddly bun, I really enjoyed her company and she made me laugh so much, all the daft things she'd do!!

Dont give up hope, 6 months is not a long time to get to know a bunny, Im sure you'll feel different in another 6 months time. :wink:

Hi guy's

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply. I guess my main concern is that they aren't happy.

Malcolm is a lion head so i have to pick him up in order to groom him. He doesn't struggle to much but the problem has been that he had a chest infection and so i was having to give him oral antibiotics. Now i think he associates being picked up with that and it has set us back a bit.

They will both eat from my hand so i guess they can't be that scared of me though.

Thanks again to everyone for the advice.

Damien

Damien - just read through all these posts agreeing with all of the advice given, had similar experiences myself.

Something you said in your post reminded me of something I used to do - you said you think one of your buns associates you with the un pleasant antibiotics. Lavender has only lived with us for a few months, and still protests about being picked up. She loves fuss and attention but protests when picked up.

I still try to pick her up briefly every other day or so, and when I put her down I give her a treat, even if she has stropped off into the corner or something, I follow her and give her something. To start with she didn't take them so I just left it in front of her, now she takes them from me straight away and she's stopped nipping me when I pick her up. I think I'm making progress, hopefully she'll start to associate getting picked up with something nice, it might be worth a try with Malcolm.

I found giving Sooty antibios was stressful for him so i squirt them over his veg or a bowl of grass and he eats that. I guess it will just take time. Good luck

Damo122 said:

Hi guy's

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply. I guess my main concern is that they aren't happy.

Malcolm is a lion head so i have to pick him up in order to groom him. He doesn't struggle to much but the problem has been that he had a chest infection and so i was having to give him oral antibiotics. Now i think he associates being picked up with that and it has set us back a bit.

They will both eat from my hand so i guess they can't be that scared of me though.

Thanks again to everyone for the advice.

Damien

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Have you tried putting him in a pet-carrier and then lifting off the lid to give him a brush, then you dont have to pick him up?