I had to have my little boy pts last Saturday . I keep going over and over things in my head, and for the sake of my sanity (and others around me) I need to ask people to try and get some sense. He was a dental bunny (he had 56 dentals in total and bounced back from them all except the last one) and was 10 days away from turning 9. He'd been struggling to eat so I was syringe feeding him. I then found him peeing blood so he had blood tests to rule out kidney and liver failure. It turned out to be an infection which was treated. He still struggled to eat so we had no choice but to do another anesthetic to investigate. It was an ulcer on his cheek and some loose skin, which was removed. I carried on stringing fibreplex and recovery food along with baby food and all the other usual food. He'd maintained his weight and although a little quiet still had fight in him. We visited the vets last Saturday and he was happy for me to go back and few days later. I came home and syringe fed him then tried to tempt him to eat before leaving to go shopping. He had a habit of spitting the food out and dribble it but he'd then clean himself so he was getting it one way or another. I came home 6 hours later to see him laid (not flopped ) in his litter tray. He turned to look at me and when I picked him up his breathing was labored. He kept kicking out unless I was holding him or her was in his carry cage. I noticed he was mouth breathing and had a substance round his mouth and I think some was coming from his nose.
I can't help but feel this was my fault, have I choked him? Could I have done more? Friends are telling me no. If he was choking he wouldn't have lasted til I got home. They think it was his time and he'd been shutting down but wanted to wait for me to be with him.
As much as I want to believe this is still hate myself. Would he have been able to last the 6 hours if he was choking, or was this one fight too many?
I can't help but feel this was my fault, have I choked him? Could I have done more? Friends are telling me no. If he was choking he wouldn't have lasted til I got home. They think it was his time and he'd been shutting down but wanted to wait for me to be with him.
As much as I want to believe this is still hate myself. Would he have been able to last the 6 hours if he was choking, or was this one fight too many?