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Dealing with loss (Potentially triggering)

hoppin_mad

Young Bun
It is still very early days since I lost Chester, but I am really struggling with coming to terms with it.

Chester used to live in our spare room and we have to walk through that room every time we need to use the bathroom. I would spend my mornings and evenings giving him nose rubs whilst I brushed my teeth and attending to him would be the first and last thing I did each day.

I removed his stuff from that room almost straight away because I couldn't bare looking at it but now the room feels empty in so many ways.

I think the situation feels worse now I am completely bunnyless.

What have other people done to help them grieve? Also, how do you know when you're ready for another bun again?
 
I know it's horrible when a little life is no more. It seems to quiet and empty and you could go for ages in this "state" but I think instead of staying in this state of loss, it is better to go and find another bunny. It doesn't mean you didn't love Chester enough. Another bunny will help you to heal, it isn't being selfish imo.
 
I have found that losing a rabbit is a difficult situation to deal with. I have lost two in the last couple of months and am now left with one outside on his own. I can completely understand the remembering of things that you used to do with Chester. I am faced with reminders several times a day.

However, I need to think of my lone rabbit now and arrange for him to have some friends to live with. I am also sure though that without him, I would have wanted more rabbits very soon. I do not like the emptiness in my life. I also know that we have a good home here that we could offer to additional rabbits and it would help me to do that.
 
You just have to let yourself grieve and it takes as long as it takes. There’s no way of avoiding it.

When you feel ready a new little heart beat may be a welcome distraction x They never replace them but just provide you with some new happiness.
 
HoppinMad, I truely understand how you feel. It's been 4 months now since i unexpectedly had to say goodbye to my Oliver. He was the last of my quad of free ranging house buns anx he was 7.5 years old. Every room I go into has a memory of him. I have struggled alot with his passing and have only recently started to accept he is not here. I think the emptiness is worse due to now being bunniless as well. I wish I could give you an answer to help the pain but I can't. The hole my buns have left is greater than I could ever imagine. I am getting made a memory bracelet with the fur I have from my 4 buns so I will always have them with me. Sending hugs x
 
Hoppin mad
Firstly I share in how you feel. I think Lea-anne has summed things up nicely. We lost our 2 bonded buns about 6 weeks ago. The loss of our male - Ben, hit me so very hard and I know exactly how you feel. Like you, I am still struggling with the loss and feel guilty that both buns left us so quickly. Firstly, how you feel is perfectly normal - it shows that you care and you care deeply. It shows you had a bond that every other rabbit lover on this forum shares and knows. That is why you feel the way you do. Every day is a reminder and every day you think about them. And that's ok to do that. The love and the care that you shared with your rabbits also becomes your strength and whilst you should never forget your rabbits, thinking of them and remembering them embeds them into your memory more.
Sharing how you feel - as you have done, also helps because you suddenly don't feel alone, you don't feel that it's just you going through it. And in a way, you can get comfort from that thought. The forum members are wonderful helpful people and I've found that through looking and reading on here. I still have days when I cry about my recent loss and I feel sad. There's no timescale for getting over it. You will do so when you are ready.
Moving forward - I think the memory book is a great idea. Even put photos onto a cd or something. I've also considered the possibility of getting an artist to do a painting - oil or watercolour of my 2 buns - which would be a bit more of a permanent reminder and something special and unique and something that would hold a special place on the wall in the room for you. I've found artists on the internet and prices vary up to about 4-500 pounds. Personally it's something I will try and do next year - when I am ready. I also have considered buying a special plant - maybe one with a name that represents Chester. Maybe a favorite colour or something, and plant it in Chesters memory. We'll be doing that in the spring for our 2.
And finally, I would also advocate looking for a new bun. Whilst he or she will never replace Chester - and you're not doing it for that reason, but you feel an emptiness and that should be filled with another bun. We adopted 2 buns since losing ours and whilst they cannot and will not replace the 2 we lost, I feel I'm giving something back by helping 2 bunnies have a love fillied, fulfilled free and happy life. It takes my mind off things and although the 2 new buns are very different in personality to the ones we lost, they are unique in their own way and we are giving them a new safe home where they will eventually bond and be safe and happy.
Grieving is perfectly natural and there is no instant cure. I wish our buns didn't leave us but sadly they do and that's just what life is. I wish I could change it but I can't.
I do hope that you find a way to move forward and hope that you can take some help from my comments and also those from others. What we all share is that we know exactly how you feel. Hugs - craig x
 
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