• Forum/Server Upgrade If you are reading this you have made it to the upgraded forum. Posts made on the old forum after 26th October 2023 have not been transfered. Everything else should be here. If you find any issues please let us know.

Can't acknowledge losing Maple (long.. sorry...)

~ILoveMyBunny~

Alpha Buck
Not sure if this is the right place for this.. To be honest I feel guilty about making a second thread as I've already made one in the rainbow bridge, but I'm really struggling with this..
Sorry it's going to be long..
I lost my sweet little Maple Saturday morning. She'd had GI stasis but was also unable to stand. Her back legs just couldn't support her and her front legs often slid out. In the back of my mind I was thinking EC but I didn't know if she was just weak. Two days before her Cody went into GI stasis and we nearly lost him too. Thankfully he pulled through, the emergency vet was absolutely brilliant and got him throught the night and eating again.
I spoke to my regular vet yesterday about Maple during Cody's appointment and from what I told her she sounded pretty convinced it was EC too.
Both Maple and Cody were struggling with keeping weight on (though in Maple's case it was up and down whereas Cody was always underweight) but they'd been that way for a while. I'd brought it up with two vets (not my normal vet as I was unable to get her at the time) in the past but neither really said much.
She's told me to put all the buns on a course of Panacur for nine days and then repeat again in three months, which I'm doing. The change in Cody since the Panacur is amazing, he's gained a surprising amount of weight in just six days.

But it's Maple I'm struggling with. I just cannot accept what's happened. I'm completely in shock.
She was 2 1/2yrs old, barely had any life at all. I knew that I really loved her but I didn't know just how much until it happened. I thought that no bunny could ever mean as much to me as my Willow did as we were so close but I've realized that I was wrong - Maple did. And I don't mean that to be disloyal to Willow, I will always love her with all my heart. But I know now that Maple meant just as much. Truthfully I suppose they all do but there was a special place for Willow and now I realize Maple too. I feel like this insanely huge chunk has just been cut out our lives. Honestly I could deal with losing an arm or a leg easier than this. She was the bunny that comforted me when I was upset, got me thought the loss of Willow, through the latter stages of my parents divorce. But she was so young. She'd barely begun her life. I can't acknowledge that she's not here. She used to come when I called her, I spoke to her all the time as she was in my bedroom. She was afraid of other bunnies so we gave up trying to bond her and she became close to us. She absolutely adored human attention. Nothing made her happier than sitting up on the bed with as much fuss as possible and some food. That was all she wanted from life. I've never seen a bunny look so content as she did sitting up there with us.
I'm feeling guilty, and rightly so, because I should have noticed what was happening sooner, I should have got her to a vet sooner and I should have given her Panacur regularly. I should have pushed harder with the vets about the weight loss. I always had a suspicion that Willow died from EC. In fact what happend with Maple was almost a mirror image, except Willow was 11 and in a way I was prepared that I would lose her soon.
I had no indication I was going to lose Maple. This time last week she was sitting up on the bed, snuggling up for a cuddle and nudging our hands for raisins. The thought never crossed my mind that I'd lose her anytime soon. I fully expected to have another 8yrs+ with her.
There is such a huge void it can't even be described. There are eight other bunnies around but somehow it seems so quite. Maple wasn't noisey so I can't understand why.
This shouldnt' be happening. She should be here. I feel cheated but more than that I feel that she's been cheated. She has been cheated. She deserved to live a long happy life. She didn't deserve this.
I just cannot get my head around it. I feel genuinely shocked, both numb and incredibly upset at the same time. I can't even describe it. It's like something's gone horribly wrong but it doesn't make sense.
I saw her when we arrived at the vet. I knew she was gone. I saw her when we took her to the crematorium. I could see clearly she was gone. And yet I still don't feel that she is. I keep thinking she's at the vets, she'll be home soon, even though I know she won't. I'm not sure if that makes sense but I don't know how to describe it.
I've lost animals before, losing Willow was the hardest thing I've ever gone through and still hurts just as bad today. But this feels different, I suppose because I wasn't expecting it.
I just cannot accept it.
I don't know what to do.
I have bent down to give her hay, food - even nearly topped up her water earlier - all automatically. I know she's gone but I still find myself looking around to check on her thoughout the day and expecting to see her even though I know she's not there. I keep thinking this can't be real, any minute now someone's going to phone and say there's been a mistake, Maple's fine and ready to come home.
Goodness I don't know if any of this is making sense.
I really feel truly lost and so confused.
I just can't accept it.
 
Last edited:
I'm so sorry to read your story. I can fully relate to it. It certainly sounds like you did everything possible to help poor maple - as I was told it's not fair to put the blame on yourself. It feels so much worse when they are young I think, we automatically think our rabbits will last into old age because we look after them with the best possible intention, perhaps nature has a different plan sometimes? Xx


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
 
I am so sorry - I truly understand how you feel. There is probably nothing I can say that will help - everybody is so very understanding and kind here and tells each other when we lose our bunnies that we gave them all happy and loving lives. When the grief is very raw it is hard to see that for ourselves, Maple had a wonderful life with you. Nobunny can ask for more than that xx
 
oh this had me sobbing. I dont think many people realise how attached we become to our pets. They are part of the family and it physically hurts when we dont have them any longer.

As already said it is so raw and its hard to think that you will ever feel better and come to terms with your loss. Some pets make a mark that will last a lifetime dont they. In Maples case its extra hard as it was so sudden.

Some animals lead long lives but never really feel loved. Despite only having her for 2 1/2 years the time you had together sounds wonderful and she experienced love and care that many bunnies never do.

You sound like a wonderful mummy to your fur babies.

Sending you lots of hugs xxxx
 
I am really sorry you lost Maple. Don't feel guilty for having a second thread, you are grieving and need to talk about. I know it's hard and we always blame ourselves but you did everything you could. Hugs xxx
 
I'm so sorry it must have been such a shock, especially after having Cody poorly too. Although I haven't lost any rabbits, I've been in floods worrying about my bun Sydney whos not well, so I feel for you x
 
I do feel bad about making the second thread, people must get fed up with me. I just can't deal with this. I don't think other people understand with animals, least of all rabbits as they imagine them as something you can't get close to like a cat or a dog or as something that can be easily replaced.

I have to pick her up tomorrow. I know that seeing that small box and knowing what's inside is really going to hit me.
I'm glad Cody pulled through, I couldn't take losing two in the same week. About two weeks earlier we nearly lost Lunar too, she choked on a pellet and it got lodged in her throat for about 20 mins. The emergency vet is such a distance away it took ages to get there, I don't know how she survived. She ended up with fluid on her lungs but they managed to clear it with medication. About a week before that my dog got ill too. I'm wondering when it's all going to end or who's going to be next. They've always been healthy, all my buns now are young. Maple and Jazzie were the oldest at 2 1/2 so I wasn't expecting to lose anyone for a long time yet.

I keep looking over at her cage, checking to see if she's got enough water or if she's okay and then realizing she's not there. It's so stupid because it's on my mind all the time, how can I keep thinking she's there.
I just can't believe it can be true, someone so beautiful and sweet shouldn't be gone so young
 
I understand this, my rabbits went to bed one night and I wasn't in time to save them. Both died on the same night. After a week I was still just in shock, it felt like my life was not the same. It's like all the happiness has gone. But I got through it.
Now I have two twin-like dutches that I adopted 2 months after, they brought the light in my world again.

Rest in Peace little Maple and may you and Willow live happilly on the Rainbow Bridge.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Love My Little Bunnies Forever - Rolo and Polo - The Bunnies That Brought Me Here - The 2 Month Old Sweeties - I love you xx
 
Back
Top