I'm sorry if you think I'm being harsh, but really I need to stop you there. Especially as someone who has an intense fear of pathogens myself (not animal pathogens, human pathogens). Intense enough to fear touching door handles, letters that have come through the post (for me ideally I'd leave them a good 4-5 days somewhere away before touching them to let certain potential viruses or bacteria die without a host, even rubber gloves sometimes isn't enough to help me relax as I worry I'm going to contaminate myself taking them off), washing food tins etc from the shops. At my worst, I was washing my hands daily with bleach, even though I have eczema all over my skin. I can't take the medication prescribed because one of my fears is having an allergic reaction the medication. So I do know how entirely unrealistic and unreasonable, but so very frightening and real to you it is.
You need to take responsibility for your illness, not your OH. There are certain things he can do to help relieve you of some of your worries, but you must understand (as I do myself) that those worries are extreme, even when the worries plague you and seem such a real risk. He can help certainly, but it's entirely unreasonable to control him and things he does to this degree because of
your illness. It's not reasonable for him to perform avoidance behaviours which you put upon him.
To be honest, I think he's been very tolerant originally not taking the speakers because of your OCD. To then have you not speaking to him because your parents picked these speakers up is not fair at all. Consider not just your feelings but his own - he must feel nothing he does is right, or good enough. These speakers could have been disinfected in the car boot or even at your parents garage, and that in addition with your rabbits being vaccinated is more than enough. You know it deep deep down, and you and I both understand it's the OCD taking over telling you it's not enough. But to punish your OH like this because of your illness isn't fair - and you have said you know you are probably overreacting yet still think his behaviour is unacceptable, not that perhaps it's you who is (whether it's your fault or not).
I know this is probably going to seem as if I'm attacking, and I'm sorry if it does as it's not meant that way. I'm a sufferer myself. You need to cope with your illness with support, other people can help but can't be expected (or forced via negative reinforcement) to pander to this and be controlled to this extreme. It would only make it worse for you anyway in the long run. I understand we can't help having these illnesses, but it's not our OH's fault either.
I'm furious with him, I can't even bring myself to look at him right now! I know I'm probably over reacting but how the hell can he think that was an acceptable thing to do?!
Are you sure I don't need to worry as they have only been vaccinated a month and those speakers have been up there for years with his friend??
. I don't know how ever came back from it tbh. Feel free to PM me if you ever want to chat about it x
