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I really miss him.

XMissySJx

Wise Old Thumper
I haven't posted here in a very long time, but recently I'm getting back into the swing of things. As some of you know from my RB post, I lost Domino on July 7th. I'm really struggling to come to terms with it, because we had such a close bond, but in reality it's even more than that. Domino was born with me, it's not something I'm proud of but equally it's something I've accepted, it's not like I could beat myself up for nine years over it. It's what led me down the path of rescue, finding online rabbit friends, etc. But despite that, despite all the good that came out of that mistake, I had him from day dot. I held him in my hand, and I watched him grow up.

I watched him have the happiest life, and then in 2012, I watched him almost die. He had E.C, so badly that we almost lost him, and it came out of nowhere. He could hardly walk, and I got him better. It took months, years even. I was at home, struggling with my new life of ME/CFS, so on days when I was too sick to go anywhere, I'd scoop him up and put him in bed with me, and he would sleep by my side. He then lived indoors, alone, without his friends because he was too poorly, and we bonded even more.

When he eventually rebonded with Pebbles, he still adored me. He would run over as soon as he saw me, groom me constantly. But he also had such a funny attitude, stealing apple pies and digging through the bun to find pieces of gingerbread. Everyone who ever met him loved him, and so many people have been sad over his loss its been a comfort.

But, he was my friend when we were both sick. And I'm still sick, I probably always will be. But right now, I'm in a bad flare up, and in my flare ups - he was my comfort. And I miss him so so much, it hurts. I love Pebbles very much, and I'm getting some comfort from her, but she isn't Domino. I'm searching for a friend for her, and I won't feel like I'd be replacing him, not at all. Because I know I can't.

Its just so hard, he was my constant. Every time I moved house, everytime something went wrong in the last four years he was there and now it feels so different.
 
I haven't posted here in a very long time, but recently I'm getting back into the swing of things. As some of you know from my RB post, I lost Domino on July 7th. I'm really struggling to come to terms with it, because we had such a close bond, but in reality it's even more than that. Domino was born with me, it's not something I'm proud of but equally it's something I've accepted, it's not like I could beat myself up for nine years over it. It's what led me down the path of rescue, finding online rabbit friends, etc. But despite that, despite all the good that came out of that mistake, I had him from day dot. I held him in my hand, and I watched him grow up.

I watched him have the happiest life, and then in 2012, I watched him almost die. He had E.C, so badly that we almost lost him, and it came out of nowhere. He could hardly walk, and I got him better. It took months, years even. I was at home, struggling with my new life of ME/CFS, so on days when I was too sick to go anywhere, I'd scoop him up and put him in bed with me, and he would sleep by my side. He then lived indoors, alone, without his friends because he was too poorly, and we bonded even more.

When he eventually rebonded with Pebbles, he still adored me. He would run over as soon as he saw me, groom me constantly. But he also had such a funny attitude, stealing apple pies and digging through the bun to find pieces of gingerbread. Everyone who ever met him loved him, and so many people have been sad over his loss its been a comfort.

But, he was my friend when we were both sick. And I'm still sick, I probably always will be. But right now, I'm in a bad flare up, and in my flare ups - he was my comfort. And I miss him so so much, it hurts. I love Pebbles very much, and I'm getting some comfort from her, but she isn't Domino. I'm searching for a friend for her, and I won't feel like I'd be replacing him, not at all. Because I know I can't.

Its just so hard, he was my constant. Every time I moved house, everytime something went wrong in the last four years he was there and now it feels so different.

I can totally empathise SJ. I lost my soul Rabbit Inspector Morse on 2nd February 2014 and I am no further forward in coming to terms with losing him. Like Domino did for you, Morse 'stood' by me despite my illness and he never judged me. He made me feel safe.

I wish I had some words of wisdom about how to make the feeling of loss more bearable, but I do not. All I can do is say that I understand

((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))) xx
 
Thank you. There was just this bond between us after both of us being so unwell, and I guess in a way, after losing Peanut Butter (2009) and Jelly (2014), he was my link to them. So I always felt like I had a little piece of them still, and now he's gone it's like being hit three times. I'm glad he isn't suffering anymore, and when I had the choice to either do an antibiotic injection and see where we were in 48 hours, I immediately said no, he'd had enough. The poor boy had so many problems in his back end with his arthritis, and to know his heart was enlarged, pushing his windpipe and his lungs had fluid - I just said no. Even though it was the hardest thing to do because he was such a fighter and looking at him, you wouldn't have thought he was that unwell.

But of course, I can't help wondering if he would have pulled through because he was such a wonder bun. But deep down I know thats not the case, and I know 100% I did the right thing.
 
Thank you. There was just this bond between us after both of us being so unwell, and I guess in a way, after losing Peanut Butter (2009) and Jelly (2014), he was my link to them. So I always felt like I had a little piece of them still, and now he's gone it's like being hit three times. I'm glad he isn't suffering anymore, and when I had the choice to either do an antibiotic injection and see where we were in 48 hours, I immediately said no, he'd had enough. The poor boy had so many problems in his back end with his arthritis, and to know his heart was enlarged, pushing his windpipe and his lungs had fluid - I just said no. Even though it was the hardest thing to do because he was such a fighter and looking at him, you wouldn't have thought he was that unwell.

But of course, I can't help wondering if he would have pulled through because he was such a wonder bun. But deep down I know thats not the case, and I know 100% I did the right thing.

I was offered surgery for Morse (he had an abdominal tumour). But he had fought chronic ear disease for years and he had also developed heart problems. It was an awful, awful decision to make. But I know it was the right one for Morse. Just as you did was was right for Domino, despite the heartache it has and is still causing you.

I dont know if it's the same for you, but I know when I am feeling physically a lot more poorly I find it even harder to manage the feelings of loss and the sadness.

I do still talk with Morse, I still post on his thread in Rainbow Bridge. Some people dont find it helpful, but I also get great comfort from looking at Morse's memorial chair. It has his Ashes Casket on it along with lots of other mementos and photos/paintings of him.

I also have some of his fur in a memorial locket necklace which I wear every day.

I dont know if having some 'physical' memorial to Domino would help you, but just thought I'd mention it.
 
Yeah, with my ME I can't handle stress and upset, it makes me so badly ill so it's like a cycle. Right now I'm in a flare up, so it's a lot harder.

I had some of his fur snipped and I'm going to put it in resin as I can do that myself, and I'm going to make into a necklace. I still make jewellery so it's something I can make for myself which is nice. Thank you, Jane. :)
 
Yeah, with my ME I can't handle stress and upset, it makes me so badly ill so it's like a cycle. Right now I'm in a flare up, so it's a lot harder.

I had some of his fur snipped and I'm going to put it in resin as I can do that myself, and I'm going to make into a necklace. I still make jewellery so it's something I can make for myself which is nice. Thank you, Jane. :)

I hope that if you can get as much rest as possible your ME symptoms will abate a bit. Then you may feel strong enough to make the jewellery. I a glad you still do that. I find Card making to be therapeutic xx
 
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