Beau Belle
Mama Doe
Dear Cookie,
This last week has been the longest and hardest, yet it's passed by in a blur.
You joined our family as a teeny-tiny baby; the breeder said: "well, do you want her?" This was before I knew about breeders and pet shops. Yet I don't regret it - it brought me you. "Yes!", I said, and you were swiftly packed into a cardboard box and I took you home.
It was love at first sight.
Poppet was not so keen. I didn't know about bonding, and territories, back then. I didn't understand why she, after only three weeks in our home, came charging at you as if she wanted to kill you. She was furious. I was scared, and no doubt so were you.
But you calmly sat down and started grooming.
My plan was that the two of you were going to be friends. I spoke to the pet shop and they said to disinfect the patio and move everything around.
So I spent a whole day on my knees, scrubbing every inch of the patio.
It didn't work.
We bought a cage for you - you were so tiny yet this new cage was *so* exciting. You practised jumping in and out, delighted. We spent the evenings on the sofa, you and I. You laid on my belly and looked into my eyes whilst I talked. Or, you'd lie on the floor so I could stroke your head. You were Mummy's Girl.
It took a while, but you and Poppet became friends - running around the patio together, eating my plants and snoozing together.
Then came Ricky.
You didn't like the intruder, but in time he won you over. The three of you played, ate and snoozed together in the sunshine. Best Friends Forever.
Sadly, the friends, in turn, fell ill and went to the Rainbow Bridge. After Poppet left us in February this year, we thought we'd lose you too. After almost six years together, you must have felt lost and confused.
But we found Teddy, who helped you brave the hardwood floor and spent evenings cuddling up to you.
He'll be lost and confused now.
You, my darling, fought so hard this week - when you couldn't stand up, when your head lay tilted on the floor, when you didn't want to eat... You looked at me, and I knew that inside you were the same playful Cookie. I've spent a week hardly leaving your side, desperate to find a solution even though we were told a solution was unlikely. You quickly became the teeny-tiny bun again, not wanting to eat anything but greens and treats. Always treats.
I picked you up this morning and I knew. You were so fragile, I was afraid of hurting you. Maybe I did, without meaning to. If so, I'm so, so sorry. There was nothing of you. My chunky baby girl was gone. Your tiny paws lay over my hand and you were so tired. You fought long and hard, harder than I could ever have imagined.
Today, on this sunny Saturday morning, I understood that I'm not going to be able to bring you back, however much I want to. It was time for you to join Ricky and Poppet at the Rainbow Bridge. Best Friends Forever.
I told you how beautiful and brave you are, how much joy you brought us over the years.
You went to sleep.
When I came home from the vet, I realised I hadn't yet changed the calendar over to July. I've been so wrapped up in you, I didn't have time to notice that the months have changed. When I changed over the page, I cried. For there, for July, was a picture of a small, black bun. Just like you.
I love you darling girl xxx
Looks like Baby Cookie Bun
This last week has been the longest and hardest, yet it's passed by in a blur.
You joined our family as a teeny-tiny baby; the breeder said: "well, do you want her?" This was before I knew about breeders and pet shops. Yet I don't regret it - it brought me you. "Yes!", I said, and you were swiftly packed into a cardboard box and I took you home.
It was love at first sight.
Poppet was not so keen. I didn't know about bonding, and territories, back then. I didn't understand why she, after only three weeks in our home, came charging at you as if she wanted to kill you. She was furious. I was scared, and no doubt so were you.
But you calmly sat down and started grooming.
My plan was that the two of you were going to be friends. I spoke to the pet shop and they said to disinfect the patio and move everything around.
So I spent a whole day on my knees, scrubbing every inch of the patio.
It didn't work.
We bought a cage for you - you were so tiny yet this new cage was *so* exciting. You practised jumping in and out, delighted. We spent the evenings on the sofa, you and I. You laid on my belly and looked into my eyes whilst I talked. Or, you'd lie on the floor so I could stroke your head. You were Mummy's Girl.
It took a while, but you and Poppet became friends - running around the patio together, eating my plants and snoozing together.
Then came Ricky.
You didn't like the intruder, but in time he won you over. The three of you played, ate and snoozed together in the sunshine. Best Friends Forever.
Sadly, the friends, in turn, fell ill and went to the Rainbow Bridge. After Poppet left us in February this year, we thought we'd lose you too. After almost six years together, you must have felt lost and confused.
But we found Teddy, who helped you brave the hardwood floor and spent evenings cuddling up to you.
He'll be lost and confused now.
You, my darling, fought so hard this week - when you couldn't stand up, when your head lay tilted on the floor, when you didn't want to eat... You looked at me, and I knew that inside you were the same playful Cookie. I've spent a week hardly leaving your side, desperate to find a solution even though we were told a solution was unlikely. You quickly became the teeny-tiny bun again, not wanting to eat anything but greens and treats. Always treats.
I picked you up this morning and I knew. You were so fragile, I was afraid of hurting you. Maybe I did, without meaning to. If so, I'm so, so sorry. There was nothing of you. My chunky baby girl was gone. Your tiny paws lay over my hand and you were so tired. You fought long and hard, harder than I could ever have imagined.
Today, on this sunny Saturday morning, I understood that I'm not going to be able to bring you back, however much I want to. It was time for you to join Ricky and Poppet at the Rainbow Bridge. Best Friends Forever.
I told you how beautiful and brave you are, how much joy you brought us over the years.
You went to sleep.
When I came home from the vet, I realised I hadn't yet changed the calendar over to July. I've been so wrapped up in you, I didn't have time to notice that the months have changed. When I changed over the page, I cried. For there, for July, was a picture of a small, black bun. Just like you.
I love you darling girl xxx
Looks like Baby Cookie Bun
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She clearly was a very happy and loved bunny, I'm so sorry she couldn't recover 
