PDA

View Full Version : Anything to worry about?



rachylou
07-04-2015, 06:14 PM
Yesterday we went to see Dan's Nana who is 88, we got there and her curtains were all drawn, there was no answer on knocking and phoning so obviously thinking something had clearly happened to her we called Dan's uncle for the key code and let ourselves in, Dan went upstairs to see if she was there and found her on the bathroom floor, she had been there all night and refused to press her call button for help. She had wet herself bless her and was soaking. Dan called for an ambulance and was sitting on the floor by the toilet supporting her but not getting her up in case she had any damage.
I took over supporting her for a while waiting for the ambulance so for all I know was sat in urine.
She is meant to have carers in twice a day so we don't know what happened there anyway she is ok!
The reason I am worried is because not only had she wet herself but her house was disgusting! Filthy and smelly.
Anyway is there anything the bunnies can get from the following

1. Human urine
2. Filthy and smelly house
3. The ambulance women obviously kept their shoes on and at one point trod on the straps of Jacks bag on the floor
4. The ambulance women sat on my handbag
5. Jack playing with his car outside on the pavement in Havant.

Hesperus
07-04-2015, 06:28 PM
I'd think the thing to worry about would be 2, and how her house got to that state in the first place with no-one noticing or helping.

rachylou
07-04-2015, 06:37 PM
That's the thing her carers ask her if they can do anything for her and she's refuses, she only agreed to have carers because they wouldn't let her go home from the care home after her operation if she didn't, she's very stubborn like most elderly people.
yesterday was the first time we had been over since she's been home, Dans Mum can't go over due to having her hip replacement in February so can't drive, Dan's uncle had been staying there for a few days over the bank holiday but said he couldn't stay cause she is so stubborn and just won't listen, I am suprised that he didn't clean up to be honest but that's not my business, Dan's aunt goes over every week or when needed but has no patience with her anymore and Nana doesn't when notice her when she is.
I cleaned the kitchen up a bit while I was there, I could have done so much more but it's not my place to.

dizzyg
07-04-2015, 10:27 PM
That's your grandma in law. :cry: it seems that no one else can help her, so, sorry, it IS your place to. My auntie always helped with my grandmother's care, and she was her mother in law.

Do you think it's less 'stubborn' more 'embarrassed'? I can't imagine how hard it must be to admit you need help with personal care. :cry: It can't be nice needing help with things you've always done well, particularly if that help is from strangers, like carers.

In answer to your question... No threat to your bunnies.

happybun
07-04-2015, 11:49 PM
not sure you can take it on, rachylou, with all that you have to cope with in everyday life. you have to put yourself and your own little family first. if everything was ok with you, and no stresses, definitely you'd be helping out as dizzyg says, but you face a lot of challenges and soldier on, so I don't want to see you asking even more of yourself.

rachylou
08-04-2015, 12:58 PM
If I felt able to help I would but as you say Happybun I already have a lot on my plate, going there Monday has really set me back to be honest and I am cleaning everything and scared of touching things again so I know I am unable to do anything.

chloemurray
08-04-2015, 01:53 PM
If I felt able to help I would but as you say Happybun I already have a lot on my plate, going there Monday has really set me back to be honest and I am cleaning everything and scared of touching things again so I know I am unable to do anything.

I think this is totally acceptable and you need to sort YOU out first before you are able to help others :) That sort of environment would be terrifying for someone with OCD and I'm so sorry it's set you back. Hope your OH can discuss some extra care for his Grandmother, or at least find out what went wrong with the carers.

Sending hugs to all x

rachylou
08-04-2015, 04:02 PM
Found out that she had another fall that evening after we left, luckily Dan's aunt was there to help her but then Tuesday morning she had yet another fall and this time she hit her head and there was blood on the bed and floor but amazingly this time she pressed her button and an ambulance took her to hospital, they wanted to send her back home again that day but Dan's aunt kicked up and they kept her overnight and she's been discharged today. So guess it's just a matter of time till she is likely to have another fall. My worries are next time she may fall down the stairs and kill herself, she shouldn't be In that house alone but they won't over ride her decision as she is by the law still I her sound mind.

Hesperus
08-04-2015, 04:08 PM
I don't know how you are financially, so this is only a thought rather than a 'why don't you' sort of thing, but would it be possible for you to get her a cleaner even if just for an hour or two. I know you struggle with cleaning but you could perhaps go and let the cleaner in and sit in the garden whilst they worked?

I'm just thinking aloud as my best friend just got a cleaner and it was 10 an hour, so not prohibitively expensive.

rachylou
08-04-2015, 04:12 PM
I don't know how you are financially, so this is only a thought rather than a 'why don't you' sort of thing, but would it be possible for you to get her a cleaner even if just for an hour or two. I know you struggle with cleaning but you could perhaps go and let the cleaner in and sit in the garden whilst they worked?

I'm just thinking aloud as my best friend just got a cleaner and it was 10 an hour, so not prohibitively expensive.

I would love to be able to but we live on a very tight shoe string to be honest as Dan's wage is AWFUL and it's only topped up by benefits which have recently been cut down too as my OCD had improved so we are not in any position to do it unfortunately.
Dan's aunt would be the one to do that as she is retired and has money but to be honest I kind of get the feeling that Nana wouldn't even accept the help as she thinks she can do it all herself.

dizzyg
08-04-2015, 07:48 PM
Sorry my last post was harsh, I didn't realise you were still really poorly. I wouldn't have liked it if someone had spoken to me like that.

Ugh. She still has a house with stairs?

I wonder if it's worth one of Dan's family contacting Age UK for advice? I'm sure they'll have loads of experience with people like Nana. I agree that if she won't accept help from carers, it's unlikely she'll want people cleaning her house and touching her things.

Their number is: 0800 169 6565. Worth a shot?

Hope it all gets sorted. :wave:

rachylou
08-04-2015, 09:13 PM
Sorry my last post was harsh, I didn't realise you were still really poorly. I wouldn't have liked it if someone had spoken to me like that.

Ugh. She still has a house with stairs?

I wonder if it's worth one of Dan's family contacting Age UK for advice? I'm sure they'll have loads of experience with people like Nana. I agree that if she won't accept help from carers, it's unlikely she'll want people cleaning her house and touching her things.

Their number is: 0800 169 6565. Worth a shot?

Hope it all gets sorted. :wave:

Don't worry I know it was coming from a good place, no offence taken but I appreciate the apology. :)

Thankyou I will certainly give the number to Dan's aunt as she is the one most involved with her care, like you say, worth a shot.