Thanks guys. Jane, I knew you would be able to relate for sure. BattleKat, it's not about length of time really, it's more about feelings, so I can entirely see that was a similar situation.
Each day I'm coming down wondering who will be dead or dying. I have three pairs outside- one of each pair are at death's door, plus those inside who are too (which is probably 3 of them). It's just really hard, and I'm having to remind myself they are all individuals and deserve the best, rather than 'well, they're all dying anyway' (that is obviously a defence mechanism, but it makes me feel guilty for it).
Indeed it is a 'defence mechanism'. When I had that horrendous run of losses I actually blurted out to C 'they may aswell all die now, just to get it over with'. I felt utterly wretched for even thinking it, let alone saying it.
I think we all do what we have to do to try to 'cope'. I know I have closed down hugely since Morse died. I have had subsequent losses and I have 11 more to loose. But I dont seem to be able to grieve any more. I just feel numb. That makes me feel guilty too ! So I totally relate to how on one level you are trying to distance yourself from the individual Rabbits.
Sorry, didn't mean to go on about 'me'. Very selfish.