• Forum/Server Upgrade If you are reading this you have made it to the upgraded forum. Posts made on the old forum after 26th October 2023 have not been transfered. Everything else should be here. If you find any issues please let us know.

Does anyone else's partner have a problem with their bunnies?

Jolysium

Jolysium

Mama Doe
If so, how do you deal with it?

My husband has stated (basically out of nowhere) that all my bunnies have to go and live outside. He says he's sick of there being hay everywhere, and sick of having gates to get through between rooms, and sick of having to be careful not to trip over bunnies. He has been ill recently, he left on New Year's Day, and I'm sure there's more to it, but this is what he's chosen to make his deal-breaker. Apart from getting frustrated with the amount of hay that gets spread around, he's always seemed to like the bunnies.

Admittedly, I have ended up with rabbits taking over a lot of the house :oops: It was ok when they were two pairs but once Harribun and Heidi's bond broke down I had to find separate spaces for them. It's not ideal but it couldn't be helped.

I don't know what to do :cry:
 
I don't know your situation, but if my OH was giving me that as a deal breaker to come back to me I would tell him to beat it, but that is just me, it is up to you if you are happy to change things for him.
 
I agree with Kermit on this one. It's very difficult for him to justify this change it would seem. Sorry you are in this situation.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
MissSherwood89 said:
Luckily my OH loves our bunnies but if he didn't then I wouldn't have an OH! :oops::lol:
Click to expand...

Yeah me too :lol: I always feel lucky that my parents and brother love the bunnies and other pets and are (for the most part) really good about helping out with them and accepting the inconveniences as just part of life. I sure hope I get as lucky with an OH!
 
I always thought he did love them! I would think how lucky I was to be with someone who loved the bunnies and understood how happy they make me. It seems like a complete U-turn. I really didn't see any of this coming. Right up to the last minute I thought we were basically happy, although he had been very depressed. My gut feeling is that his behaviour is completely out of order but it's hard to see clearly when you're in the middle of it.
 
I think it does sound like there is more too. As someone who has suffered depression, I know mess can make an environment seem out of control and claustrophobic and can add to the stress and negative feeling. As silly as it sounds, it can become all too much at times and breathing space (head space) is required. It might just be that. I can imagine it must be very difficult with more of the house being dedicated to the bunnies. We had a similar situation after a bond failed and for ages we just lived with it although it did create some stress especially as one bun was unpredictably aggressive. Eventually we had to create outdoor accommodation for here which relieved the pressure massive and she felt better for it too and she made a bond as well. Bunnies pick up on stress and that can affect a bond. Is it possible for you to move your bunnies outdoors (in the spring) or even to a garage and try bonding them again?
 
Thanks Fifibutton, it does sound likely that he was coping with it but then when he got ill it was just the final straw that he couldn't deal with. It doesn't help that we've also had builders in for the last few weeks, so there is significantly more mess and chaos because of that.
 
It sounds like lots of things have come to a head: whether the bunnies really are a problem or just something he's referring on to, I don't know (and maybe even he doesn't), but I hope you can all sort the best out for yourselves :)
 
I sympathise as my OH has banished my bunnies to the bedroom and they're not allowed out of it. He hates the mess they make and he says they smell and that the whole house smells because of them even thought I've asked people and they all say they can't smell anything.

I can't offer any practical advice thought unfortunately as if o could, I wouldn't be in a similar situation!
 
as someone who 100% couldn't cope with the chaos of house rabbits, I sympathise with him. As fifibutton says, living in a situation that you don't find easy and calming can make a huge difference to you mentally, particularly if you're depressed.

I wonder if you could come to some sort of compromise whereby they take up less of the house or you find a way to keep the hay from spreading? Is the two of them going back together definitely a no-go?
 
Can you find a way of keeping them out of his life? I know I wouldn't want my partner's interests affecting me 24/7. In most of my relationships, I've had part of my life I've kept for me. Sometimes, that has been the rabbits.
 
Kermit said:
I don't know your situation, but if my OH was giving me that as a deal breaker to come back to me I would tell him to beat it, but that is just me, it is up to you if you are happy to change things for him.
Click to expand...

That would be me!!! My OH adores all the bunds and is involved in them as much as I am - he does all the meds nowadays and is just totally brilliant and spending his weekends cleaning them out (a BIG job here .. ) and loves the 7 we have indoors at present and . . . . and if he didnt - I expect it would mean we no longer shared a major part of our lives and shared emotions and approach to life - and we would part!!
 
Thanks everyone for your thoughts. It's really good to hear a range of opinions and what other people would do, it helps to clarify my own thoughts!

I would be happy to try and compromise - they are taking up far too much of the house and it isn't ideal, but I love them and they make me happy so for me the benefits outweigh the difficulties, whereas for him they obviously don't. Because of the building work and the bonding situation it hasn't been possible up to now to make any changes to their situation and it probably won't be for a while, and obviously even if I agreed we couldn't put them outside in the middle of winter! It's pretty snowy here at the moment and they are all used to snoozing by fires and radiators :love:
 
I think a compromise is needed. Obviously the Rabbits cant be moved outdoors at this time of year, but is this something you could consider for later in the Spring. Perhaps the bonded pair could move outdoors ? Then maybe you could see if a Rescue could assist you in trying to re-bond the other two. If that could be done they may be OK together again if there are no other Rabbits in sight/smell. So you would have a 'plan of action' to suggest to the OH. He would need to accept that it cant all be sorted overnight, but that you are prepared to try to meet him half way by planning the changes.
 
I can understand that he may be feels a bit fed up with the hay mess, etc., and that too much of the house is taken up with the bunnies. I think you need to compromise so that he doesnt feel he has no 'bunny-free' space just to be able to relax in. I do agree that the straw and hay does make a right mess and it gets everywhere, even when your bun lives outside!! Hay is always stuck to my jumpers, slippers and dressing gown and it even manages to get in my bed from my socks! I hope you can sort something out together.
 
Oh goodness that's a tricky one!

I would look at having rabbit free rooms. I love my two but my allergies means they have their own bedroom. I would love to have them free range in the house but it would just be impossible.

So yeah, rabbit free rooms. Hopefully that'd be a good enough compromise.

Good luck! :)
 
cherchez la femme.

for now, put your rabbits in one room. if that means they have less space, so be it. this is an emergency situation.
make proper plans to keep all rabbits out of the house from the spring.

meanwhile, do 'cherchez'. he's making rabbits in the house (though anybody could get sick of the mess. mine have destroyed my home. it can't go on. they're moving out when the weather improves) his sticking point, but he probably has other gripes (who doesn't? relationships are hard!), and men rarely start to make moves to extricate themselves from one relationship until they have another lined up. older men, particularly, want to know where they'll be living and who will be doing the laundry, the cooking etc before they leave 'the wife'.

what do you mean 'he left on New Years Day'? did he disappear? if so, he has somewhere to go. have I misread?
 
I have to say I sympathise with you partner, I couldn't cope with having bunnies in the house. The hay and straw being everywhere is just not something I would ever want. I know what messy little monsters they can be when they are outside. I do think it is a big ask to expect someone who isn't maybe as into the bunnies as you to want to have the mess everywhere. I do realise everyone has different opinions though. Hope you can find a solution x
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

T
Please help. Poor rabbit is desperately ill
Replies
9
Views
562
dex179
dex179
keletkezes
Barrie has lost a lot of weight
Replies
17
Views
459
a reader of books
a reader of books
M
Rabbit arthritis with rear leg paralysis.
Replies
3
Views
270
morton2000
M
Back
Top