Oh the guilt........

Hi everyone,

I don't really know why I'm writing here as I don't really have a question as such.....

I have an 18 month old bun who I adore and I'm finding that I'm suffering more and more guilt regarding his situation.

Originally when I got him, I planned to settle him in then rescue a mate for him. Things didn't really pan out too well. At 6 months old, he broke his jaw ( before I got him insured ), he's had two bouts of stasis and a couple of milder reoccurrences, today being one. Together with that, my dog had to have an emergency dental, my cat had a lump in his bowel and now my dog has more health concerns too. My house had severe dry rot and had to be turned upside down to fix, so much so that me, my two kids, the cat, dog and rabbit spent a week living with no kitchen and limited to the bedrooms. Oh I also had to have surgery and I'm constantly battling with a stroppy 13 year old. This is all in the last year!

Needless to say, bringing another animal into the mix has not been possible. Things are looking up now, except I am so concerned about the financial implications of another pet considering what I've had to pay out over the last year (last count it was over £2000 and I'm a single income family), I can't bring myself to commit to it yet. However the guilt, the guilt is horrible. I know he would be better of with a mate and I feel I'm cheating him of the companionship.

Does anyone else feel guilt when it comes to their animals?

Sorry for the long post, I just feel like I need to rant or I may have to scream into a pillow a little bit [emoji20]


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I feel pretty much constantly guilty about everything related to my animals :lol: And I get the impression that others are the same.

I know it's useless saying not to worry but I honestly would try not to feel too bad about it. It would be different if you were refusing to get him a friend because you wanted the money fo something frivolous, or because you just flat out didn't care, but you've obviously had a lot to deal with.

We all want perfection for our fluffs and a lot of the time it's just not possible. I'm sure you will do your best to get him a friend whenever that's possible - for now he is safe and wel loved and that's a better situation than most rabbits. I hope things look up for you all soon!

I get the guilt too!

After Harvey then Logan died in quick succession I couldn't cope with the idea of getting another bunny straight away and didn't have time to bond either, which meant Lilly had to be left alone for a while, it wasn't very long in the grand scheme of things (about 2 months), but she is a rabbit who craves company and I have been having long days recently so leaving her by herself I've felt so guilty

Now I have Arthur I feel much better, although before they were bonded (only last week!) and they were in separate rooms I'd feel guilty when I was with one because I felt sorry for the other being by themselves! I'm so glad they're bonded now and happy together, although I now have the guilt that they'll be penned for a week or two to make sure their bond fully solidifies and until I can get extra protection for my wires! They're Lilly proofed but not Arthur proofed yet!

I just feel guilty about anything and everything really it's not just reserved for pet related things either

Oh you poor thing. Please don't feel guilty. We all want the best for our pets but sometimes life conspires against us. As long as he gets the best that you can CURRENTLY give, that's all anyone can ask of themselves.

Thank you for your kind words!
Sometimes it helps to just hear others voice of reason. I keep telling myself not to beat myself up but the little devil on my shoulder is bloody persistent at telling me a fail at life [emoji15]

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Dieselsmum said:

Thank you for your kind words!
Sometimes it helps to just hear others voice of reason. I keep telling myself not to beat myself up but the little devil on my shoulder is bloody persistent at telling me a fail at life [emoji15]

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Try not to beat yourself up, I and plenty of others would be the same in your situation, it's how things are, make the most of it, don't feel bad, and know you'll move forwards when the timing is right that's how I tried to think when I knew I couldn't face adopting a friend for Lilly straight away, yes in an ideal world she's the sort of bunny who needed a friend asap, but timing was not right for me and I knew that I'd make changes for her benefit as soon as I was ready, that time came and I have now adopted Arthur, and she's no worse off for her for me having to have had time before getting him!

You just have to do the best with the resources you have I'm sure when everything calms down and the situation is better you'll be able to make changes you want to!

You are of course right. He is an indoor bun, who has complete free reign when we are home and a palace of an enclosure when we are out. He wants for nothing and gets all the nose rubs he demands lol. I guess I have a bit of an addictive personality and when I get a thought in my head I play it over and over again until I drive myself bonkers. The main thing he is loved, safe and always will be. When the time is right, and I'm hoping that's next year, he'll get a mate and won't know any different [emoji4]


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Try to imagine what you would say to a friend who is in this situation. I doubt you'd be harsh to them, so don't be to yourself.

I sympathise. My quad have had to move from a 10 x 6 shed with 24/7 access to a 10 x 6 aviary run to an 8 x 5 shed with no run (until I make one). We moved to a place with a waaaay smaller garden.

Sometimes we just have to do our best under the circumstances which it sounds like you are doing.

clutterydrawer said:

Try to imagine what you would say to a friend who is in this situation. I doubt you'd be harsh to them, so don't be to yourself.

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I agree with this wholeheartedly! We are often so much harsher, and have such higher expectations of ourselves that we would of someone else. Try to read your original post and think about what advice you would have given if someone else had written it, I bet you'd say the same things that everyone else has, that's your bun is safe, loved and looked after, and his mum cares enough to be an RU member!
There is an advert on TV for baby milk I think and it shows some of the things you deal with as a mum, but at the end it says 'take it from us, your doing great', so to echo that... Take it from us at RU, your doing great!

I think the guilt, ie the feeling we need to do better is what makes us a good owner. Yes a friend would be benefitial to him but if an extra mouth to feed compromises his care elsewhere it far outweighs the benefit. You are doing your best.

Thank you so much everyone. Your words of reassurance have really touched me! I've had a little snuggle with my boy and feel much better about things now! [emoji5]️[emoji173]️


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I totally understand the feelings of guilt! My buns (which we got in March this year) were supposed to be moved into their massive luxury shed for the winter but we had some some building issues so the shed isn't finished. This means they are still in their hutch/run, which is far from the perfect accommodation for them and I feel SO bad about it. Deep down I know they are better off than if they were still at the RSPCA but I wanted better for them by now and they deserve it so much.

I think all we can do is tell ourselves that if we are here, on the forums, saying we feel bad then we are clearly doing everything we possibly can for our much loved buns.

I sympathise greatly, fancy joining me in my "2014 was the worst year of my life" club? I can only echo what others have said, that you're doing the best you can, but life is currently conspiring against you :evil: you obviously love your pets & are doing the best you can for them and so they are much better off then many others who just couldn't give a stuff.

Lisa F said:

I totally understand the feelings of guilt! My buns (which we got in March this year) were supposed to be moved into their massive luxury shed for the winter but we had some some building issues so the shed isn't finished. This means they are still in their hutch/run, which is far from the perfect accommodation for them and I feel SO bad about it. Deep down I know they are better off than if they were still at the RSPCA but I wanted better for them by now and they deserve it so much.

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This is my situation too: Lopsy should've been in his wendy house with his big run and a new friend, but it's not happened and I feel really bad about it! The fact that you acknowledge it COULD be better if you had better circumstances is the point, yes

Sarah1989 said:

I sympathise greatly, fancy joining me in my "2014 was the worst year of my life" club? I can only echo what others have said, that you're doing the best you can, but life is currently conspiring against you :evil: you obviously love your pets & are doing the best you can for them and so they are much better off then many others who just couldn't give a stuff.

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Where do I sign up for the club! [emoji6]

Thanks for the kind words everyone, it really has helped [emoji4]


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TBH as a house bunny with so much going on in his life I suspect that he is fine without for now . . . you would have had to separate them whilst he had all his issues anyway to ensure he was eating ok.

Re the stasis - can you identify what the problem is? With recurrent episodes I would suspect some other issues to be the actual cause. Are his teeth still an issue at all after the jaw problem?

Or could it be a certain type of food?

PS meant to say you are doing a FABULOUS job just keeping house and home together!

Tbh, I think it's his diet. Looking at what I do give him, I really do feel i overcompensate with food. He is a good hay eater. He has a small portion of pellets in the morning and veg in the evening. I try to limit him to rocket and kale as he seems to do better on these.

Yesterday when I thought it was starting again, I think I may be looking into it too much. He was still eating, just not his pellets. Perhaps I overreacted. With him indoors it's difficult not to get too wrapped up in his routine so when he deviates occasionally it sets off the red flags. He seems ok today, ran upstairs to wake the kids as he usually does in the mornings.

He had a vet check last week who said considering what he went through he's doing great. Teeth aligned perfectly, good weight and no obvious issues.



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Forgot to add, I'm going to make a more conscious effort to ensure his diet is the best it can be....then I can feel guilty for feeling like I'm depriving him of his goodies [emoji12]


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