I understand exactly how you feel. I thought for many years that when I finally did lose Willow I could never have another rabbit, as much as I love them.
Maple and Jazzie came along just one month before I lost Willow. I knew she probably wasn't going to have a lot longer, but losing her so quickly was unexpected. Had I lost her before I got the other two I may never have had another. But I am glad now that I have them. I'm not sure I would have even wanted to live without her otherwise. We were so close.
At first Maple and Jazzie gave me a commitment; I was responsible for them and I had to look after them. I was worried at first as I was almost comparing them to Willow which wasn't fair on them. Or I stroked them, picked them up or just watched them play and occassionally just had guilty thoughts, like 'as much as I love them, I wish that was Willow instead'. Sometimes I closed my eyes while stroking them and almost pretended it was Willow, though they all feel completely different. I was worried that I might not love them for them, but as time went on rather than looking for things that reminded me of Willow in their behavior I've started to realize they have their own personalities and appreciate them for who they are.
Willow has and always will have a very special place in my heart. And there's nothing I wouldn't do if I could bring her back. It's been nearly nine weeks since I lost her and I still haven't put away her cage. I've started by taking the bowls out but that is as far as I got. I go to tears over her all the time.
My other two will never take her place. But they have made it a little easier in that they have given me something to focus on.
Someone on here used the term 'soul-bunny' when I was talking about Willow. I love that term so much that I now use it for her. She was my soul-bunny. We had a closer bond than anyone could possibly understand unless they had had it themselves.
The pain in losing such a close friend is so immense, I can easily see why some would never want to go through it again.
I think I've come to realize that I need rabbits. I feel like I never want to be without them. Maybe one day that will change, but for now at least I feel that as immense as the pain of loss is, the love and purpose that they bring in return makes it worth it. I suppose the greater something is the greater the price you pay.
Maybe one day it will be too much and I won't have anymore. I don't know. All I know is that for now I need them, and while I have messed up, sometimes badly, in the past I know I can give them a better home that being stuck out in a small hutch all day after the novelty has worn off with a child.
But I can easily see how some would never want to go through that pain again.
Whatever you decide, make sure it's right for you. If you need to grieve first, you may find that you want one again later. Or you may find that having another one to focus on will help you grieve.
Or it may be that having another just isn't right for you.
If you are entertaining the idea, you could try a rescue or something who might 'loan' one as it were? Where you could adopt if it worked out, but aren't committed if you can't handle it.
Just make sure you do what you feel is right for you.
There's no need to rush into a decision either way.