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Struggling without my Berry.

BerryJane

Alpha Buck
Hi,

I hope you don't mind if I have an indulgent 'me' post.

I lost Berry on 26th September and have found it really hard without him in our home.

For the last 5 months he has struggled with his arthritis and towards the end I was cleaning him 5 or 6 times a day to ensure he was dry and clean as best as I could. He lost a lot of fur around his legs and bottom but regular trips to the vets confirmed that his quality of life and the way his skin was clean and a nice pink meant we would continue to give him his life. He had lots of special aloe products which really helped him with his personality, movement and general well being,

A couple of days before he died he stopped eating normally as he did from time to time and had the usual medication from the vets. We thought he was improving but sadly not. On the Thursday evening I knew the end was near. He wolfed a piece of banana which he loved and then after that became almost unresponsive. He lay on the sofa in my arms all night only occasionally moving his head. He was clearly in no pain and I hope that whatever thoughts / feelings he had he would have had comfort from being close to me.

First thing Friday I took him to the vets, They saw him first thing before they opened and my brill vet thought his organs were failing and his body had gone into shock. From the time I put him in the car to his last moments he didn't respond at all. His passing took a couple of seconds and in many ways was the perfect way for him to lose his fight. We had a lovely condolence card from the vets and the next week when I took Blossom for his dental another vet offered her sympathy. I was surprised and asked if it was usual that all vets heard of pets who died. She said not generally but when it was a special animal then they made sure that all staff were aware!

I visited him at the crematorium the same day and he was back home with me by lunch time.

Our home is so quiet and in over 3 weeks I have not been in the living room, this is where Berry lived and I cannot bear it without him ruling the roost. He had a huge personality and our life revolved around him - especially in the latter couple of years. My son has been in there once and said it was horrid - expecting him to stomp around when the neighbours cat walked past the patio etc. My husband has also only been in once and for the first time in 9 years watched the tv sat on a chair. His role was to be on the floor with Berry and woe betide he disobeyed Berry's demands! So I am just living in my bedroom which isn't great but is the only way I can cope. I nearly cried in the shop today when my husband suggested we buy bananas.

Berry got involved in all that went on and already I am thinking how difficult it will be at Christmas. He just loved us putting the decorations up and could always be found with a bauble or piece of tinsel in his mouth and running off with them. I seriously don't think we will bother with a tree at all.

Sorry for the long post - I know you get it. I love Blossom so much - every day he makes me laugh. Tillie was so special and Bramble was adorable but Berry, well he was different and life is just unbearable without him in our lives. :cry:

On another note I would like to thank all who have offered support to me during Berry's last few months - a special than you to lovely Julie bun and her mom who gave me the hope to continue with a disabled bun. It was the right choice and I don't regret one bit that we kept him alive.

Thanks for listening, I feel better for writing it down.
 
Awwww I'm so sorry. Berry was obviously a special bun. It will take time but we never forget the special ones. The thing with pets is that, for the short time they are here we can only do our best for them. In return, they give us everything which leaves such a hole when they are gone. There is just the knowledge that our lives are better for having had them with us. :cry:


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so sorry for your loss :cry: could you put some photos of berry in one of those Christmas bauble decorations in remembrance to him and what he loved to play with
 
So sorry for your loss :cry:

It's soooooo hard to lose a pet so close to your heart but I hope you'll get through it xxx
 
:cry: I know how much Berry meant to you, and having both indoor and outdoor buns myself, I know just how much closer you get to an indoor bun. Maybe that is because my outdoor bunnies don't appreciate human company, but the loss I have felt when I lost Ginger and then Apricot, 2 of my quad of outdoor bunnies recently in quick succession has been almost too much to bear, I dread to think what it must be like to lose an indoor bun who is a much bigger part of your life :cry:

Thinking of you and sending hugs xx
 
Thank you all for your lovely kind words.

minilop - that's a lovely idea about a bauble for Berry.

I have added some photos of him in an earlier post. They show a little of his personality, :love::love:
 
I wish there were words to take away the awful pain of grief and loss. I know such words do not exist. All I can do is say that I totally understand

(((((((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))))))) xx

:cry:
 
We lost Bramble our house bunny in April. I miss him everyday. The house still seems a little empty without him and I still cry for him. He was a poorly bunny too, who suffered with asthma. I gave him his inhaler twice a day and really felt I had bonded with him. He was my baby.

Life gets a little easier everyday. Bungee and Bo our outdoor buns keep me busy and make me smile and I am so grateful that we have them, they have helped me deal with Bramble' s passing.

I still talk to Bramble everyday and kiss him goodnight. He lives in the dining room where he lived on top of my desk,which I moved into 'his corner' I feel close to him there and natter away to him!

He has left his mark on most of our furniture, skirting boards and doors! I don't think we will ever replace anything now!

The other day I was cleaning and I found one of his tiny poops. It made me smile, rather than feel sad. I think he is still around......and yes I've kept it!

Sending you hugs. Treasure your memories. You are sad because you loved him so much and I'm sure he loved you back, cause that's what special bunnies do. Xxxx
 
Thank you for your kind words.

Jane - I know you have had more than your share of heartbreak and especially with lovely Morse.

Clarebear - I am sorry you lost your Bramble ( fab choice of name)I know what you mean about making their mark everywhere - our house is covered in chewed wood, carpets etc.

I am suffering so much but am so glad he was in my life for such a long time. The other good thing is I have no 'if onlys' or 'I should have'. He was loved and cared for as much as it was possible and he knew he was safe and loved and we knew he was happy. He loved and needed us as much as we did him. He actively sought us out for company - and food!! He trusted us and went to each of us for different aspects of his life. He was our wonderful wonderful boy.
 
It's so hard, isn't it? :(

I lost my Barney cat 5 years ago and I still miss him so very much.
 
(((hugs)))

I know how you feel. I lost my wee Blackberry when he was not even 2 - he passed away under GA, and I still miss him :cry: He had really bad teeth and was starting to need dentals every month or so, but he was always so quick to bounce back, and even the vet said he was hyperactive :lol: It was a total shock when he died - and as much as I love all my other bunnies, it doesn't stop me missing him as he was my soul bunny.

It does get easier to bear, but when you lose a pet who has had that special connection with you it hurts for a long, long time x
 
Thank you Helen - sorry I have only just seen your post.

It is 9 weeks on Friday since we lost berry and I still haven't spent any time in the living room. I went in to put some washing out last week and was so upset had to come straight out. I know from my personality that I have left it too long to go in and don't know how I will ever manage it without feeling panicky.

Losing him has been so hard but I have managed because I have stayed out of his room and can almost pretend he is in there. :cry::oops:

Its just physically painful - I have had the worst 12 months and I just want to cuddle my boy. :cry:
 
I'm so sorry :cry: would rescue remedy help you cope with the panicky feeling? Perhaps you could try going in for a very short time, and gradually increase it? sending you hugs xx
 
Oh bless you. It's so very hard losing a friend like Berry. All you can say is that you clearly gave him the best life possible. :cry:


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