Feel like i'm letting them down- bereavement garble *video post 12*

This time last year I was in the midst of three major rabbit losses. As some people know, I always, always, ALWAYS do tribute videos for bunnies I lose to celebrate their lives. They take hours and hours and days and days, sometimes weeks, for the longer ones.

I never did them for Sandy, Roger or Sky. I said I would. I planned to do them. This past year, since losing Sky, I've gone from mental health crisis, to physical health crisis, back to mental health crisis and now I'm here. I can't cope with doing his, I just can't. And if I do Sandy's, then I have to do Roger's and then I have to do Sky's. It makes it closer and closer. I keep getting things out to do them and then just putting them aside, or procrasinating. I've mentally planned them, the songs, everything, but I can't actually make them happen. I was going to post them on their repsective anniversaries.

I'm letting them all down because they were awesome and they deserve those videos and because I'm so useless, I just can't make myself do them.

but I don't know how to make that ok. I want to do them. I so do.

I need to man up and do it really. I just don't know how to add that in with all the balls I'm already trying to juggle.

Hey you
You're not letting them down, your inability to do it is a tribute to their awesomeness. They would want you to focus on you while you need to.

You are not letting them down, you are just not ready to do it now or maybe you won't be able to do it. It is huge emotional effort and a hard task to do. I have never done rainbow bridge or a tribute to any of my bunnies. I can't face it.

Sending a supportive hug. Xxx

You are not letting them down - although I know how you feel and wont be convinced by our words.
I cant do tributes to Tillie and Bramble - I just cant do it. I have written words on memorial books for them both but cant go any further than that - I would be worried I would miss stuff out.
Its a very personal thing and your daily thoughts are all the tributes they need - you KNOW how much they meant to you.

Take care xx

I dont really know what to say but I didn't want to open your thread and not post on it. You can only do what is 'doable' at any given time xx

Don't be so hard on yourself, the time will come when it feels right and it will all flow, it will be then when you can truly do them justice, I am sure that they would not mind waiting.

Trust in yourself that when the time is right it will happen.

Took me a year to make Dorey's video. I was very near the edge of my sanity for so long, I never grieved properly because I was too worried to let go entirely.

But one day I was listening to a new CD I'd been bought and a song came on. I stopped it and started it again to make sure I'd heard the lyrics properly. It made me cry. So I made her video.

You haven't made them because the time isn't right yet, not because you've let them down! *hugs*

serenity087 said:

Took me a year to make Dorey's video. I was very near the edge of my sanity for so long, I never grieved properly because I was too worried to let go entirely.

But one day I was listening to a new CD I'd been bought and a song came on. I stopped it and started it again to make sure I'd heard the lyrics properly. It made me cry. So I made her video.

You haven't made them because the time isn't right yet, not because you've let them down! *hugs*

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Excellent post.

I haven't done a tribute for Cheeky as I still can't face it nearly a year later. It's still too hard and let's be honest, they don't know any different. The tributes are done for our sake as it's us who may need them. You will do it when you are ready xxx

Thank you all.

RedFraggle said:

your inability to do it is a tribute to their awesomeness.

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That's a lovely way to think about it. Thank you.

There is no time scale to do their tributes by, just as and when and if you feel ready to do them. Forever in your heart...that is something you can always treasure.
..
Please be kind to yourself.

I've pulled my thumb out and done Sky's video. The others will come in time. Phew.

Thank you all for your comments and support.

Sky-O said:

I've pulled my thumb out and done Sky's video. The others will come in time. Phew.

Thank you all for your comments and support.

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I've seen many, if not all of your tribute videos over the few years that i've known you.

That has to be the best of them all. I need tissues for my desk.

It's so clear to see through everything, from photos, videos, words, that Sky meant more than the world to you.

Over the bridge and far away, but never far from our hearts. Our friends will wait til the end of forever.

Thanks Gray.