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I am not bonding with adoptepd rabbit

Linette

Young Bun
The bunnies are having THEIR issues to work out, but I think a big issues is that my boyfriend and I are not bonding with the rabbit. We were not allowed to hold her or spend time with her at the rescue center. They sort of foisted her on us because she is a large breed and they are harder to adopt out and we have a large breed male.

We don't feel comfortable with her, or care for her personality. I feel rather childish but at the same time we didn't choose her, and if she is going to be a family member for at least ten years, it seems as if we should love her. I've had many many rabbits over the course of 4 decades and I do understand personalities etc.

I adopted my male because after interacting with him we both liked one another and I liked his personality. I just don't feel like this doe is ever going to fit in with our family.

We plan to take her back this weekend.

Any thoughts on this? Anyone else have this situation come up where the adopted rabbit was a bad fit with the family?
 
The bunnies are having THEIR issues to work out, but I think a big issues is that my boyfriend and I are not bonding with the rabbit. We were not allowed to hold her or spend time with her at the rescue center. They sort of foisted her on us because she is a large breed and they are harder to adopt out and we have a large breed male.

We don't feel comfortable with her, or care for her personality. I feel rather childish but at the same time we didn't choose her, and if she is going to be a family member for at least ten years, it seems as if we should love her. I've had many many rabbits over the course of 4 decades and I do understand personalities etc.

I adopted my male because after interacting with him we both liked one another and I liked his personality. I just don't feel like this doe is ever going to fit in with our family.

We plan to take her back this weekend.

Any thoughts on this? Anyone else have this situation come up where the adopted rabbit was a bad fit with the family?

Nope, I cant ever imagine it. The only time I would consider returning an adopted Rabbit to Rescue would be if they failed to bond with my other Rabbit and I was unable to keep two single Rabbits or adopt another two to bond with each of them.
 
I did feel that it took me longer to bond with our cat when we rescued her... But can't imagine taking her back.
If you give your bun a bit more time, she might have chance to show you another side of her personality? Hope it works out, I would really try to give her a chance if I was in this situation, it's not her fault and it can take a while to see their true colours. Good luck! :)
 
I am sorry you feel the rescue pressured you into taking her.

I guess if you arent happy with her then maybe taking her back is for the best. Ten years is along time for her not to feel happy and wanted. Hopefully the right family will come a long for her soon.

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It is not possible for us to keep two separate rabbit habitats, so bonding would be necessary.

I do feel badly about taking her back, but I think this could have been avoided had we actually been able to spend time with the rabbits before adopting them.

I expressed concern over some of what I saw and they poo pooed it away, yet here we are at home dealing with the things I was concerned about.

I would have been happy to give a rabbit a forever home, but I think it is fair that we get to choose which rabbit will be part of our family.

I admit my nose is bent out of joint by them disallowing the rabbit we all liked best (who seemed to like my rabbit as well) and then not letting us handle or spend time with the rabbit first.

In the end though, it's on me. I should not have caved to pressure.
 
I've not ever met an animal whose personality I didn't like :? It's not like humans, who have the potential to be manipulative or selfish etc etc. Rabbits are rabbits. They're all different but I don't think they're capable of having unpleasant traits.

I would return a rabbit if I felt its personality was such that I couldn't properly care for it - eg if it was super destructive so couldn't be allowed free ranging time, or so aggressive that I couldn't handle it for health checks etc.

I guess if you feel you can't get on with her then it would be better for you and her if she lives elsewhere. Do you find you normally bond with them straight away, or does it ever take a while? I've only had six rabbits but I've noticed that some I "click" with instantly, whereas others it took me a few months to really understand them. Sometimes it's worth waiting a bit :) Everyone's different though....do what's right for your rabbits and your family.
 
Nope, I cant ever imagine it. The only time I would consider returning an adopted Rabbit to Rescue would be if they failed to bond with my other Rabbit and I was unable to keep two single Rabbits or adopt another two to bond with each of them.

This completley
 
That's interesting that you've not met an animal who's personality you didn't like.

This may be more about ME, but I have had rabbits for many decades, and they definitely have different personalities. There is always a getting to know you phase, but usually I can tell early on if we are going to be friends or not.

Over the course of my life and jobs I have knows upwards of 100 rabbits and have knows all sorts as far as breeds, genders, sizes, spayed, neutered and fully sexed. There is nothing wrong with this rabbit. She is not a problem rabbit, but I think she is a poor fit for us.

I can see how that seems incredibly selfish. But our rabbit has free run of the house and is as much a family member as a dog would be in other households. We want a rabbit that can join our family on that level.

Perhaps this rules me out as a rabbit adopter and she will be better off with someone else.

I appreciate the honest opinions and perspective, because I know I am in an emotional state right now.
 
We never met Fili before we brought him home. We were actually planning to adopt another boy, we met him, had a cuddle and he was a sweetie. But when we actually took Mylo to be bonded, their foster carer suggested another boy that may be a better match for her, we agreed as we just wanted Mylo to be happy. When we first brought them home, I will admit I was a little unsure, mostly because our last attempt at bonding failed miserably, but seeing them happy together makes us happy :love: Lucky for us, Fili is absolutely lovely and a complete contrast to Mylo who is completely nuts! :roll:

Could it be because you haven't had a chance to get to know her properly? In a home environment, with a friend, she could be totally different to what she is in rescue. Personally, I think most important thing should be that your rabbit is happy.
 
That's interesting that you've not met an animal who's personality you didn't like.

This may be more about ME, but I have had rabbits for many decades, and they definitely have different personalities. There is always a getting to know you phase, but usually I can tell early on if we are going to be friends or not.

Over the course of my life and jobs I have knows upwards of 100 rabbits and have knows all sorts as far as breeds, genders, sizes, spayed, neutered and fully sexed. There is nothing wrong with this rabbit. She is not a problem rabbit, but I think she is a poor fit for us.

I can see how that seems incredibly selfish. But our rabbit has free run of the house and is as much a family member as a dog would be in other households. We want a rabbit that can join our family on that level.

Perhaps this rules me out as a rabbit adopter and she will be better off with someone else.

I appreciate the honest opinions and perspective, because I know I am in an emotional state right now.

What is it about her that you don't like? You keep saying her personality is a poor fit... but what is it about her personality? There may be something we can suggest/you can do to help.

I saw on your other thread that you think she is bossy, as she stamps her feet. All rabbits stamp their feet when they are scared, grumpy, fed up or trying to get your attention. It's totally normal rabbit behaviour, I have 5 and every one of them does it often.
 
Having read your introduction thread i know you are under time constraints with this particular rescue.
what happens after the 30days? Do they not allow you to return the rabbit if there was an issue after that time?
just wondering because if they allow her to be handed back and a better rabbit to fit with you be adopted instead after 30 days then could you give her a bit longer to settle?
i understand you must be feeling so many conflicting emotions, and maybe the new girl is picking up on that also? Shes had a big change.
if you're able to let her settle a while longer i hope that she and your male bunny become fast friends, it sounds as though there could be potential there for them to become snuggle buddies.
how are you going about with bonding her to your wee guy?
i remember how stressful bonding angel and bailey was, it took a few months for them to become really comfortable with each other.
and it took that time before i felt able to move them to the room i had for them from the room i was bonding them in.

xxxx
 
That's interesting that you've not met an animal who's personality you didn't like.

I'm just not sure what there is to dislike? I worked in animal shelters for six years, so I've met a fair few rabbits and other animals, but short of justifiable aggression I've not seen any show negative traits. Can you explain what it is that you dislike?

Maybe it's that you're pining after the other rabbit, the one they didn't let you have. It could be hard to transfer your affection to the rabbit you have if you feel like you've already bonded with the other one.
 
That's interesting that you've not met an animal who's personality you didn't like.

This may be more about ME, but I have had rabbits for many decades, and they definitely have different personalities. There is always a getting to know you phase, but usually I can tell early on if we are going to be friends or not.

Over the course of my life and jobs I have knows upwards of 100 rabbits and have knows all sorts as far as breeds, genders, sizes, spayed, neutered and fully sexed. There is nothing wrong with this rabbit. She is not a problem rabbit, but I think she is a poor fit for us.

I can see how that seems incredibly selfish. But our rabbit has free run of the house and is as much a family member as a dog would be in other households. We want a rabbit that can join our family on that level.

Perhaps this rules me out as a rabbit adopter and she will be better off with someone else.

I appreciate the honest opinions and perspective, because I know I am in an emotional state right now.

Ive also had rabbits for many decades.... and as you have, you will know that each and everyone of them have different personalities and different traits....Ive had some that have not been very friendly at first.... but they just need time... You can hold a rabbit in rescue and its all cuddly..... get it home.... and it doesnt want to know.... you just need to persevere... and you get there.... Ive one at the moment that hates being handled, grunts at me... and only really wants me for her food..... but..... I love her for what she is... thats her personality... so thats fine by me....If you really cant take to this bun.... its sad.... but.... it wouldnt be fair to keep a bunny you obviously dont really like :(
What is she doing or not doing that you dont like???
 
I want to say right off there is NOTHING wrong with this rabbit. She's not mean or unfriendly. So, this has nothing to do with her not being loveable.

I think this is about me, and me being highly emotional and sensitive. I am one of those people who gets incredibly close to their pets.

I think I do need to find an animal I feel sympatico with. And when I meet rabbits I am thinking of getting, I DO like to spend some time with them, get nose to nose, "talk" bunny talk a bit etc. Spend some time feeling one another's vibe.

They let the bunnies do that, but then didn't let us do that. And that is my failing to not insist on that before we took home a potential member of the family.

I did find it weird that they refused to let me pick up the rabbits at all. I don't understand how we are supposed to know if we are a good fit.

Or is that people are usually, like many good people here, who never met an animal they didn't get along with and have room in their heart and home for any animal that needs one?

I don't dislike her, and she is not unfriendly, or mean. So when I say personality, I don't know how to explain it to people who may not be as bonded with their pets on the (perhaps imaginary) way I am. It's really a vibe thing.

the way she holds herself, approaches us, the noises she makes, etc. Maybe even her smell.

definitely the more I type, the crazier I sound. Except for the fact that that IS how animals "speak" to each other, and I am an animal as well, so it makes sense that I react to body language, subtle sounds and smells the way every other species does. So, it's crazy in human talk, except that we all like to choose our own friends adn know who we do and don't feel comfortable around.

I guess I feel it's the same with animal friends.
 
Im really sorry...... so i wont say anymore after this post on this thread.... as i just cant understand... so its not fair to comment any further.
I think everyone on here "gets incredibly close to their pets."... so youre certainly not alone there
Buddy.... my dog..... is my life..... !! My rabbits are wonderful..... but to me... its more important they have their own kind than pander to MY every whim... I just love seing them happy with their partners, living as they should.... with their own kind to snuggle and wash.
My cat.... has me wrapped around her little paw.... and I wouldnt have it any other way.... and my horse is like a pet dog!! :lol:
 
I think that some animals are harder to get with than others...and sometimes a particular bun may not bond with a human as much as another.

My Harley dislikes me intensely and if it wasn't for the fact that she adores her husband Bobo I would probably re home her for her own happiness..I adore her but she doesn't think much of me.
I don't think it's wrong to feel as you do, just very sad and unfortunate.

Question really should be though. . What do you think is best for her and your boy? How long have you got left? Have you really given her enough time to settle in?

It's a tough one and you have my sympathy.

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Having read your introduction thread i know you are under time constraints with this particular rescue.
what happens after the 30days? Do they not allow you to return the rabbit if there was an issue after that time?
just wondering because if they allow her to be handed back and a better rabbit to fit with you be adopted instead after 30 days then could you give her a bit longer to settle?

The agreement is that is we ever need to part with her for any reason we will return her to the rescue, so they will take her back at any time. The impression I got from them was that it was THIS rabbit or no rabbit, for us.

They kept saying that size doesn't matter and they've placed tiny bunnies with big bunnies before and they've been the best of friends. But they kept saying that they felt that it was best if my rabbit had another rabbit his size. And it was very clear they were NOT going to adopt to us the rabbit we all felt good about.

So I would say my impression is that if we don't make this work, they are done with us. And that is certainly their right, if they feel we aren't giving it enough time or energy etc. What surprises me is that they were SO adamant after a tiny scuffle that that other rabbit and mine would never work out, yet when I spoke to them about how this match is going they kept saying how it would take time and not to mind these little scuffles.

I mean, he and the first bunny were snuggling and licking one another's heads immediately.

She made it clear she was not going to adopt any rabbit to us that was not near his size (10 lbs)

And I understand they must do what they feel is in the best interest of the rabbits, and I respect that, but no, I don't think there will be the option of trying another rabbit.
 
Is she bonding to your rabbit or are they still in the very early stages? I think that it would be quite mean to split them up if they are starting to bond.

Some rabbits are more rabbit-orientated than people-orientated; that's just how they are. She may just need some patience for you to bond with her. Most bunnies do not like being picked up so I can understand the rescue not letting you do that. It can be very traumatic for them as they are prey animals.

If the rabbit is making your rabbit happy and they are getting on, I would keep her. If they are not bonding then I would think about another rabbit. However, it is up to your bunny to pick who he gets on with, and what if you don't like any other rabbit he picks? Surely it's more important for him to pick a companion that he will be happy with for the rest of his life?
 
I find it takes longer than a few days to bond with an animal. Some animals you can immediately bond with, but most take time.
The point is that your rabbit gets on with her. You can't bond them and then take her back just because you dislike her...that is incredibly unfair to your current bun as well as to her. :(

I found it difficult to bond with one of my does at first, I had recently lost one of my buns, and needed to get another friend for Fiver. She happened into my life, but it took a long time to bond with her. She was lovely, although she did used to bite me and chase me sometimes. I felt I wasn't ready for another bun, but I had no choice because Fiver was suffering from loneliness to the point of making himself ill. I would NEVER have given her back, simply because I didn't like being bitten or didn't feel bonded with her. Now I feel very close to her, she is a joy to have and often hops into my bed for snuggles. :love:
 
Im really sorry...... so i wont say anymore after this post on this thread.... as i just cant understand... so its not fair to comment any further.
I think everyone on here "gets incredibly close to their pets."... so youre certainly not alone there
Buddy.... my dog..... is my life..... !! My rabbits are wonderful..... but to me... its more important they have their own kind than pander to MY every whim... I just love seing them happy with their partners, living as they should.... with their own kind to snuggle and wash.
My cat.... has me wrapped around her little paw.... and I wouldnt have it any other way.... and my horse is like a pet dog!! :lol:

I DO want my rabbit to have a partner of his own kind, which is the point of this. If he and this rabbit were bonded, or even looked like they were making significant headway in that direction I would be happy to leave them in bunny bliss.

I've invested a great deal of time, money, emotion, study and effort into finding a good match.I do think it matters that the bunny is loved and comfortable with the whole family too. My rabbit is as close to us as dogs are to their families etc. It's not as if we are planning to put them in a pen to keep one another busy, they live free with us.
 
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