those of you with single rabbits (emotional rant!)

have they always been alone, or are they alone after losing their partner? do you feel bad about it?

i am really feeling incredibly guilty at the moment about bisc being alone. even though he's doing well, i just feel horrible. i said i would never keep a bun alone, and now i am. he's been alone since matt passed last august.

i guess i just wish matt could have stayed around longer. even just a year or two more.

bisc is eight soon and part of me wants to get him a friend, part of me is worried about it, about him, about having to go through this all again. i worry about vets bills and money in general. i worry because bisc has tummy issues and snuffles. i just worry about it all. i don't even know what he wants. i should do but i don't. sometimes i think he would like a new friend because he's quiet, but then he'll perk up and have a mad binky session.

just feeling like a **** owner at the minute and missing matt so much aswell. watched some vids and they looked so happy together. i feel like a bun shouldn't be alone.

o/h and i talked about giving another older bun a chance of a home, but then we couldn't insure them, and that would concern me, after regretting not getting bisc and matt insured. i don't know really.

i said after bisc and matt i wouldn't get anymore rabbits, maybe never, but at least not for a long time. but it seems so selfish on bisc.

sorry for the long post. just emotional about it all today.

I was in a similar situation to you when Clover died and Dusty was left behind. In her case, it really wasn't practical, as I knew she didn't have long left, and the stress could have killed her (as well as the fear that she was still infectious for EC). She actually lived a further 7 months, which I hadn't expected, on her own as a house bunny.

But I also didn't want more rabbits. The stress I'd been through with them was awful, and I had never planned for them to be house bunnies - they took over the house, as there was no room for them to have their own space.

Although Dusty obviously missed company, she was hardly left on her own at all, and she did bond with us a bit more than she had. I do think it was the best thing for her in difficult circumstances.

Finances obviously have to be a huge consideration.

Each rabbit and owner has a different situation so don't feel guilty, just do what is best for you and your family.

I guess in a way all mine are singles. They are not bonded, are not even housed next to one another (have wanted to remedy that but finding the room is difficult) and although I'm sure they must know that each other is there, they don't pay any attention to one another and live their lives quite separate. I will not be getting any more bunnies so as each one passes I am guessing there won't be any longing for the one who is lost.
I was just going to try to bond Fiver and Mimzy when he got tilt.
Pip and Mimzy were almost bonded years ago, then Mimz got nasal issues and I separated them fearing it would cross to Pip and make her sick...stupid me didn't know it was probably already too late. :roll:
I know most advocate for pairs, and I understand and agree...but I think when one bunny is pretty much adjusted and also has health issues that you might not want to spread to another bun, or there is a finance worry, I would probably leave him to it. Sometimes bunnies enjoy their human companions just as much as they would another rabbits'.
We do tend to place our feelings and worries onto our animals companions when it may not be necessarily how they feel. I understand that you want to do the best for Bisc. That in itself shows that you are an attentive mum and care greatly for him. It's not like you are leaving him somewhere all alone to fend for himself.
If this is about how he pines when you or OH have to leave the house, then I would look into something perhaps if it does not cause more upheaval, and a suitable mate could be found.
Bisc will likely be happy with a routine, whatever it is. I think most bunnies are.
((((((((((Huge hugs)))))))))) to you. I know you must still miss Matt terribly. Totally understandable. He was such a sweetie. xxxx

I have three single rabbits at the moment! One of them has been on her own since 2009 after her partner died and she is indoors with me in the winter so she gets more fuss. She has never been a 'human' bunny though, but never was a 'rabbit' bunny either! She has always preferred her own company. I don't feel guilty about her - no.

The other two, however, yes. Their bond broke down in October and we've tried a few times to rebomd them but my boy has just been attacked by my girl each time they are together. Because they won't rebond they are living to each other in half of the enclosure each - which means their housing is too small as the full size of the enclosure is 50sqft! I posted a thread about it last week and it's now got to the stage where I may have to rehome my girl as I can't stand the thought of her being alone for another 6-7 years. I really don't want to have to do that but it's not a good life as she is such an active rabbit. I personally feel she would suit being a single bunny as she was so bolshy, bullying and downright nasty at times to my boy. We can't financially commit to another rabbit at the moment either so repairing them both with another bun is out of the question.

I do tell myself that I'm doing the best I can and that is all I can do for now. It doesn't stop me feeling guilty though!

My first bun was alone at first then was part of a pair and then when he lost his wifey bun he spent his last few years alone.

Nibbles actually seemed more relaxed without Jem and spent his days flopped out and snoozing with his daily evening binkies around the living room. To this day I feel that it was right for him, he had full access to the downstairs and spent a lot of time with us, he completely ignored any soft toys we gave him.

If Bisc is content then I wouldn't feel guilty about him being alone.

SarahP said:

I was in a similar situation to you when Clover died and Dusty was left behind. In her case, it really wasn't practical, as I knew she didn't have long left, and the stress could have killed her (as well as the fear that she was still infectious for EC). She actually lived a further 7 months, which I hadn't expected, on her own as a house bunny.

But I also didn't want more rabbits. The stress I'd been through with them was awful, and I had never planned for them to be house bunnies - they took over the house, as there was no room for them to have their own space.

Although Dusty obviously missed company, she was hardly left on her own at all, and she did bond with us a bit more than she had. I do think it was the best thing for her in difficult circumstances.

Finances obviously have to be a huge consideration.

Click to expand...

obviously i want bisc to have a long and happy life, but then the thought of him being alone for ages upsets me. he could be one of those buns who lives a very long life, we just don't know. and to live that alone. i know technically he has us, and he is never left alone, ever. but it's probably not the same. he loved matt so much, yet he is independent. we think if there is a bun who could cope alone, it would be him. he looked after matt. he's like the brains and matt needed that. bisc isn't really into toys or playing much. it's like it's beneath him he's very much a leader and an intellect :lol:

i have been through so much aswell with bisc and matt. the worry and stress has been ovewhelming at times. i wouldn't have changed it because i love them, but the thought of doing it all again continuously really worries me. it can be heartbreaking. losing matt has knocked me so much.

with money, we would always have it for vets, whether that is us paying, or having a payment plan with the vets, or borrowing off family. it's just that i would rather we were more secure with it, and insurance would be the best way really to do that.

at the same time, i feel i need to be really sure that i don't want anymore in the near future because to leave bisc alone and then for me to realise when he is gone that i miss having rabbits, would be really unfair. then at the same time, i can't imagine not having rabbits in my life. they are my life in a way. like my one true love. my only happiness.

i just get down about it sometimes, then feel ok about it again.

i just thought they would be together longer. then whoever was left wouldn't be alone long. now my matt has gone

the other thing is that i know when bisc goes, i am not going to be in a good place. because then both bisc and matt will have gone. the end of an era. who i spent 24/7 with practically for all these years. then a bun will be left behind, i will be heartbroken, and then they'll need a new friend. and the cycle just goes on and on.

i have this awful fear aswell that if bisc gets ill and is at the vets, that he will be alone. matt had bisc but bisc would have no-one there. i can't bear that thought.

i think too much i know.

thanks everyone for sharing. just feeling emotional today. can't stop crying. :roll:

Hi

I have one rabbit she is gaint paplion frech rabbit she as run off house and she plays with dogs !!! Lol but I think that 2 giants for me would be to much as I have one bed flat and she as hole flat to run around in :wave:

i just want matt back. they should be together. the way it has always been.

With Charley no because she'll be bonded with Donny and Lola and I can't wait because she's obviously very lonely (positive thinking!)

Poppy - yes She's a very special bunny and would love a friend, I just know it. But we live at home and have been told no more evil: ) A bunny friend for Poppy would also need to be able to be around food all the time because she can't eat hay.

I'm so sorry sweetie ((((((((hugs)))))))) it's not a bit fair is it?
I feel that Matt is still very close to you. If so perhaps Bisc senses him too and that's why he is doing okay so far.
Yeah I was worried about the cycle of bunnies as well. But for me I am just feeling my age and it is becoming increasinly harder to cope with bunny illness. It doesn't help that my OH is now allergic as well. I was in the right place at the right time to offer my bunnies a home but in the future...not so much
I owe them a lot as they've brought me joy when I didn't know I needed it, and good friends here. My life has changed for the better even despite our tearful moments. I wouldn't have it any other way.

biscandmatt1 said:

have they always been alone, or are they alone after losing their partner? do you feel bad about it?

i am really feeling incredibly guilty at the moment about bisc being alone. even though he's doing well, i just feel horrible. i said i would never keep a bun alone, and now i am. he's been alone since matt passed last august.

i guess i just wish matt could have stayed around longer. even just a year or two more.

bisc is eight soon and part of me wants to get him a friend, part of me is worried about it, about him, about having to go through this all again. i worry about vets bills and money in general. i worry because bisc has tummy issues and snuffles. i just worry about it all. i don't even know what he wants. i should do but i don't. sometimes i think he would like a new friend because he's quiet, but then he'll perk up and have a mad binky session.

just feeling like a **** owner at the minute and missing matt so much aswell. watched some vids and they looked so happy together. i feel like a bun shouldn't be alone.

o/h and i talked about giving another older bun a chance of a home, but then we couldn't insure them, and that would concern me, after regretting not getting bisc and matt insured. i don't know really.

i said after bisc and matt i wouldn't get anymore rabbits, maybe never, but at least not for a long time. but it seems so selfish on bisc.

sorry for the long post. just emotional about it all today.

Click to expand...

You just started the thread I've been thinking about starting for days.

I can't even spend that much time with Grim because I work full time. Sometimes he just gets an hour in the evening. Yesterday he didn't get any time with me at all. I want him to have a bunny friend but he is contagious and I don't know how long he's got. It's also not fair on the rabbit I get to be his friend, as they'll basically be a carer now and not for long either.

I don't want any more rabbits either. Not for many years. I need to recover.

so many of us feel the same way.

i think i get worried when bisc is quiet, which he is today and was yesterday. i start to panic a little. then the other day he was binkying alot and being silly. he never seems lonely in a down way, but sometimes we feel like he is missing matt, rather than missing company if that makes sense. some things he let matt get away with, we don't think he would let another bunny.

i also feel like matt is close by sometimes. i can imagine him wanting to stay with bisc.

maybe i am just over emotional lately. i keep crying and then everything sets me off. reading about snuffles makes me sad, and seeing other peoples pics of cuddled up buns hurts aswell.

I know exactly how you feel! When Ginger had to be PTS at the age of 7, his littermate Pickles was left alone. I didn't get him a friend and every day I feel guilty. The thing is, at the time I thought 7 was 'elderly' for a bun and I really didn't think Pickles would last much longer either. He withdrew, which I now realise was depression, but back then I thought it was him fading away from old age. Now he's 10.5 and still going strong! My reasons for not getting another bun were:

1. I didn't think Pickles would live very much longer, and I didn't want to be 'leapfrogging'
2. I knew I wouldn't be able to bond with another rabbit after my Ginger
3. Pickles has always been a house rabbit at heart. He used to thump and run away when it was time to go back in the shed. Alone I could keep him indoors, but what if his new friend had refused to be littertrained, or been seriously destructive? I'd have had to compromise Pickles' happiness by putting him back outside.
4. I couldn't actually find one! I did look quite intensively, but I couldn't find anybun suitable. Nearly all rabbits for rehoming I found were youngsters, and the older buns had 'issues' like aggression that I didn't want to put Pickles through

So yeah, I never did get him a friend and I feel guilty every day. He lives in my bedroom and I talk to him a lot, and get down on the floor so he can groom me, and feed him treats and stroke him - I think those things help. Is Bisc a house bun?

biscandmatt1 said:

at the same time, i feel i need to be really sure that i don't want anymore in the near future because to leave bisc alone and then for me to realise when he is gone that i miss having rabbits, would be really unfair. then at the same time, i can't imagine not having rabbits in my life. they are my life in a way. like my one true love. my only happiness.

Click to expand...

I can definitely understand this. I couldn't imagine life without bunnies either. But, at the same time, you do sometimes just need a break. Try not to beat yourself up over this - you've done nothing wrong, after all.

the alternative to breaking a rabbits heart and keeping it single after the loss of a friend is breaking your own heart so i dont see what else you can do if you wont get him a friend.

I always said i would never keep a previously bonded rabbit single (not so fussed if the rabbit has never snuggled with another) and when i knew i couldnt keep Holly alive and i wouldnt be getting another rabbit for Alvin he had to go. its been almost two years and Holly has now passed, I still cry for my angels but i think i did the right thing for Alvin and do not regret it. he is now the proud hubby of two wifey buns

i know its not that simple for others, it was very black and white in my situation Alvin HAD to have a new friend after Holly and i wasnt prepared to get a third female rabbit after my bad luck with the first two.

if you are not going to get a friend for him and you are not going to give him up then you need to lose the guilt, its a situation that can only be changed in two ways or just get on with it and enjoy the time you have together :wave::wave::wave:

yes bisc is a house rabbit. he has free range of the lounge day and night. he's never left alone as i don't go out and i also sleep in the lounge aswell. if i'm asleep then o/h is with him. if we are both asleep then he's alone for a bit but i am still right there in the room if he needs me. we give him lots of attention aswell. he seems bored at times, but to be honest he did sometimes anyway even with matt here, because he isn't very into toys/play things. he sleeps alot of the time now. they both used to cuddle up and sleep alot.

i know he wouldn't have been ready for a new friend at all for the first few months. now we really don't know. i thought it would be obvious but we really don't know. wish he could tell us what he wants.

donnamt said:

the alternative to breaking a rabbits heart and keeping it single after the loss of a friend is breaking your own heart so i dont see what else you can do if you wont get him a friend.

I always said i would never keep a previously bonded rabbit single (not so fussed if the rabbit has never snuggled with another) and when i knew i couldnt keep Holly alive and i wouldnt be getting another rabbit for Alvin he had to go. its been almost two years and Holly has now passed, I still cry for my angels but i think i did the right thing for Alvin and do not regret it. he is now the proud hubby of two wifey buns

i know its not that simple for others, it was very black and white in my situation Alvin HAD to have a new friend after Holly and i wasnt prepared to get a third female rabbit after my bad luck with the first two.

if you are not going to get a friend for him and you are not going to give him up then you need to lose the guilt, its a situation that can only be changed in two ways or just get on with it and enjoy the time you have together :wave::wave::wave:

Click to expand...

it's not that i won't get him a friend. i just don't know what is best. my own thoughts and broken heart i can deal with, if it means bisc gets what he needs. i just don't know what that is. x

I felt guilty about Boris being single as it was obvious that he felt lonely at times. When I'd been away for a few days he was always grumpy at first and then really clingy, so I could tell that he had missed my company (I was his favourite human, so technically his partner). I then got Bella and they were very happy together. He died last year and now Bella is on her own, which I feel horrible about. I'm in no position to take on another rabbit so getting her a new husbun isn't an option unfortunately She has a little soft toy that she snuggles up to and grooms so I hope that gives her some comfort if she does feel lonely. My mum also tries to spend alot of time with her, which isn't always easy as she works full time. It's not ideal at all and I'm really worried, but I don't know what to do about it really.