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View Full Version : would bleeding to death be painful?



biscandmatt1
22-10-2013, 08:55 AM
if the pet was on pain relief, a drip and a blood transfusion but afterwards you found out they had continued to bleed? and they had been left another night like that.

RedFraggle
22-10-2013, 09:06 AM
I don't think so. I think you'd just get very sleepy and pass out.

FondueKid
22-10-2013, 09:08 AM
Someone told me that it happens very quickly and you feel faint and then pass out. Hers was from a cut and she was revived. If they were on pain relief they would have been more out of it so they should have just drifted away.

biscandmatt1
22-10-2013, 09:16 AM
the nurses said matt was unaware of what was going on around him. he responded to us the evening when we visited and they said he seemed to know bisc was there. i got it wrong. i left him all night and he bled to death. i should have let him go that evening. why couldn't i see that. i let him down. all night slowly dying. pain relief or not, that can't have been nice for him. i didn't know though. i got it so wrong.

RedFraggle
22-10-2013, 09:18 AM
It's not your fault.

biscandmatt1
22-10-2013, 09:20 AM
It's not your fault.

thank you but it is. he needed me and i got it wrong.

FondueKid
22-10-2013, 09:21 AM
Big hugs for you. Maybe Matt wanted to have a nice visit with you and so didn't seem like he was leaving so soon. Animals often hang on for things like that. And then he drifted off after saying goodbye. I don't think you did anything wrong. I can understand that it's hard though because you didn't know that was goodbye. But for him he got his last time with you to be happier than it would have been if he was pts. I'm sorry for your loss.

Mackers
22-10-2013, 09:27 AM
thank you but it is. he needed me and i got it wrong.

I know you feel like it's your fault - I've been there myself so I do understand. But it really isn't. Guilt and fault are two similar feelings but are worlds apart. Doing what you believe is the best thing at the time, even if that later turns out to be wrong, is NOT fault. You loved him - he knew that - you did not let him down.

biscandmatt1
22-10-2013, 09:33 AM
all night though, just left like that. he must have bled to death mustn't he. if they were giving a transfusion but it was making no difference. what if he was waiting for us to come back. we got there too late. i just didn't think pts when we saw him, even though i knew he wasn't coming home again. why couldn't i see it. i bet everyone else who saw his pic saw it. and i was the person who knew him best. they said he wasn't in any pain, just sleepy and unaware but they wouldn't tell me if he was would they.

i should have got there for when they opened instead of waiting to phone and then setting off. i would have been there then.

what if he felt like i just left him there to go slowly.

i love him. i need him back.

Mackers
22-10-2013, 09:41 AM
all night though, just left like that. he must have bled to death mustn't he. if they were giving a transfusion but it was making no difference. what if he was waiting for us to come back. we got there too late. i just didn't think pts when we saw him, even though i knew he wasn't coming home again. why couldn't i see it. i bet everyone else who saw his pic saw it. and i was the person who knew him best. they said he wasn't in any pain, just sleepy and unaware but they wouldn't tell me if he was would they.

i should have got there for when they opened instead of waiting to phone and then setting off. i would have been there then.

what if he felt like i just left him there to go slowly.

i love him. i need him back.

I have so many 'what if's' where my animals are concerned. Hindsight is a wonderful thing BUT we can only ever do what we believe is right at the time we make the decision. If you hadn't thought you were making the right decision, you wouldn't have made it. I honestly don't think the veterinary staff would have let you make that decision either if they thought it was wrong. I know it doesn't help and I know it doesn't take the pain, hurt and guilt away, but I really want you to know that it wasn't your fault, however you feel right now. Sending a big hug x.

icklepxy
22-10-2013, 09:51 AM
Don't be so hard on yourself, you did what you thought was best for him, you couldn't have known. If the vet didn't pick it up how could you possibly have known differently? You made the best decision you could with the information you had, and nobody can do more than that.

biscandmatt1
22-10-2013, 09:57 AM
sorry. i shouldn't post when i get into these kind of states. ignore me. i need to try and calm down. thanks for the replies. x

Mackers
22-10-2013, 10:08 AM
sorry. i shouldn't post when i get into these kind of states. ignore me. i need to try and calm down. thanks for the replies. x

We understand how you're feeling xxx.

donnamt
22-10-2013, 01:06 PM
i don't think there would of been any pain and i believe when we leave our bodies it happens a good few hours before the body itself dies, ive seen it a few times now to be sure what i have seen is not just wishful thinking. so please don't torture yourself.

i also had no idea you had lost Matt im so sorry xxxxx

esupi
22-10-2013, 01:15 PM
I know how you feel too but please try to be a bit easier on yourself. What others have said is absolutely right - you do what is best at the time and that's the most anyone can do. It's totally normal to feel guilt, and I don't think that goes away, but you have to stop beating yourself up about it.

I also don't think bleeding to death would be painful at all - as others have said I would imagine it is very peaceful. Please try to take comfort from the fact that he wouldn't have been in pain - he wouldn't want you to be this hard on yourself I'm sure x

MimzMum
22-10-2013, 01:22 PM
I've been trying for a while to answer this post with something helpful...but all I can think of is to send (((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))

Please don't question your care of Matt...you did all you could for him, loved him dearly and still do...he wouldn't want you to be unhappy.

Thinking of you and sending you Peaceful and Comforting Vibes. Bless you... xxxx

biscandmatt1
22-10-2013, 08:04 PM
can't stop crying today. i just miss him so much and i just replay it over and over at times.

donnamt - i have never ever felt anything like i felt that night. it was more than just worry. i think i felt he was gradually going. i really do. i think he left gradually like you say, and was 'gone' by the time his body stopped. :cry:

o/h thinks i would torture myself with what ifs no matter what had happened. he was very ill but neither of us thought to let him go that evening when we saw him so maybe it wasn't there to see? i just don't know. and it wasn't that i didn't want to see it, because if it was the right thing then i would have done that, for him. i know if we hadn't given the blood transfusion a chance then i would have regretted that aswell. the vets promised me that if they thought it was unfair to matt at any point, then they would tell me so we could let him go. i do believe they would have done that. they thought the blood transfusion was his best chance and i know we had to give it time to see if it would help. i was only going to give it that one night and then if no change let him go. i just wish we had got there sooner to be with him. :cry: it would have been pts time that morning because there had been no change overnight anyway. :cry:

i know you all understand. it just really hits hard at times. i also question whether i should have taken him to the emergency vets in the night but they aren't very good and they wouldn't have let bisc stay with him. i think that would have been devastating for them both and i couldn't do it. it was about 5am when i thought about it but decided to get to our vets when they opened at 8am instead so matt could be admitted and bisc be with him. i weighed it up and i felt that they would never have wanted to be apart. i think that could possibly have caused matt to give up even sooner.

i just miss him so badly and it hurts. really hurts. :cry: x

Sarah1989
22-10-2013, 10:23 PM
I am so sorry you feel this way, I had no idea that this happened to Matt. I don't think you shouldn't not post these kind of threads when you feel this way as hopefully it helps you to know that we understand here and that we sympathise. We all love our animals, we wouldn't be here if not, and I'm sure everyone here has lost a beloved pet at some point.

I know it probably won't help, as it didn't when I lost Dexy, but it's really not your fault. You didn't know, you're not a vet and you trusted them to do what was right for Matt and tell you so you could make the decision. We all have to make decisions at a specific moment of time with the information we have there and then. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. As part of the grieving process, we always try and find something to blame ourselves for and beat ourselves up about. "Shoulda, woulda, coulda" I believe it's called. I know when Dex died I spent almost two years beating myself up and going over and over things in my head to blame myself for. Finding this forum and talking to you lovely people here has helped me so much. That's not to say I don't still miss him and if I go into the rainbow bridge section, I often find a post that sets me off crying about Dex.

You are at the beginning of this process and what you're feeling is a normal reaction to losing your beloved Matt. But I can now honestly say that the pain does fade after time. You just have to give it enough time, and try to be kind to yourself. Different people take different amounts of time to heal, so don't worry about that. But I promise you the pain will end eventually. You will always love Matt and miss him, but it won't hurt so much and that's not disloyal.

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but this little poem helped me when I lost Dex. It's so sad and I cried my eyes out, still do when I read it, but it helped me. I imagined Dexy being with me everywhere, like an invisible friend when we were children. And it helped me. I know it sounds crazy, but it helped me.
http://www.rabbits-online.co.uk/Bunny_Heaven.htm

Gosh, I'm crying now reading that again.

SJH
22-10-2013, 11:07 PM
I recall your thread from the time. You so clearly did your very best, on advice, for your little man. Your feelings are horrid but totally normal. Give it some time as others have said. :)


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rachylou
23-10-2013, 01:42 AM
I am so sorry you feel this way, I had no idea that this happened to Matt. I don't think you shouldn't not post these kind of threads when you feel this way as hopefully it helps you to know that we understand here and that we sympathise. We all love our animals, we wouldn't be here if not, and I'm sure everyone here has lost a beloved pet at some point.

I know it probably won't help, as it didn't when I lost Dexy, but it's really not your fault. You didn't know, you're not a vet and you trusted them to do what was right for Matt and tell you so you could make the decision. We all have to make decisions at a specific moment of time with the information we have there and then. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. As part of the grieving process, we always try and find something to blame ourselves for and beat ourselves up about. "Shoulda, woulda, coulda" I believe it's called. I know when Dex died I spent almost two years beating myself up and going over and over things in my head to blame myself for. Finding this forum and talking to you lovely people here has helped me so much. That's not to say I don't still miss him and if I go into the rainbow bridge section, I often find a post that sets me off crying about Dex.

You are at the beginning of this process and what you're feeling is a normal reaction to losing your beloved Matt. But I can now honestly say that the pain does fade after time. You just have to give it enough time, and try to be kind to yourself. Different people take different amounts of time to heal, so don't worry about that. But I promise you the pain will end eventually. You will always love Matt and miss him, but it won't hurt so much and that's not disloyal.

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but this little poem helped me when I lost Dex. It's so sad and I cried my eyes out, still do when I read it, but it helped me. I imagined Dexy being with me everywhere, like an invisible friend when we were children. And it helped me. I know it sounds crazy, but it helped me.
http://www.rabbits-online.co.uk/Bunny_Heaven.htm

Gosh, I'm crying now reading that again.
Oh my God that poem is lovely but so sad I am in tears!

biscandmatt1
23-10-2013, 03:16 AM
i love that poem. it made me cry aswell. i had a dream the other night which is very weird because i never have dreams, only nightmares.. anyway, in the dream i had gone to have a reading done with this woman and she started and said you're grandma is here and i could see her too. she smiled at me and then turned to look behind her and in the distance i could see shapes running towards me. as they got closer i saw it was patch, smudge, ches and matt. matt was running so fast to get to me first and he had his little pal ches beside him. i held out my arms and they all ran into them. i felt so happy and was sobbing and sobbing. i woke up sobbing but i felt happy aswell, like i had really seen them. :love: it was so lovely.

thank you so much everyone for being so supportive, even though it brings back memories for you aswell. xxx

Sarah1989
23-10-2013, 07:59 PM
I had a similar dream once about Dexter and my ex's bunny who had also gone to the bridge. I found it a real comfort as they were in such a lovely place and were happy and healthy :love:

And no problem. As I say, we all know how hard it is, so you don't have to suffer through this alone. It's hard enough dealing with it, let alone putting in a brace face. So at least you have somewhere you ding have too.

biscandmatt1
25-10-2013, 07:02 PM
I had a similar dream once about Dexter and my ex's bunny who had also gone to the bridge. I found it a real comfort as they were in such a lovely place and were happy and healthy :love:

And no problem. As I say, we all know how hard it is, so you don't have to suffer through this alone. It's hard enough dealing with it, let alone putting in a brace face. So at least you have somewhere you ding have too.

this forum and the people on here has been an amazing support for me. it helps alot x :love: