Harribun and Heidi need help

After many months of searching, cancelled dates, illnesses etc. we finally got Harribun over to Macclesfield RSPCA to meet Heidi. They seemed perfectly matched, similar size, similar personalities... Because it was such a long journey and the lady who was fostering Heidi didn't have anywhere suitable indoors to keep them (and partly because I would find it very hard to leave him) it was decided that they would try a day together and come home to carry on if they weren't trying to kill each other.

Initially fur flew and Harribun received a nasty scratch to his already scarred ears After that he was just really scared of her and would run away whenever she came near him. We thought it might be because he was in such an unfamiliar environment - outdoors in a strange place - and stressed from the car journey, so we were advised to bring them home and put them in his territory so he could be more confident and stand up to her. They travelled home crammed up next to each other in a carrier and we put them in a small neutral cage in his room. She was still the more confident one and he was still running away from her whenever she approached. No one was getting hurt or too stressed to eat or poop so we left them to it and went to sleep next to them on the airbed.

Overnight there was no progress at all. He still runs away as soon as she comes near. Occasionally she will approach just to see him but occasionally it is to bite him and none of us can tell, so I'm not surprised he's nervous! He was quite stressed by this morning so we've given them more space so he can get away from her and it seems to have helped him relax a bit. However I feel that we're stuck in a bit of a no man's land. Neither of them has tried to demand grooming from the other. They just don't really seem interested in getting to know each other!

I know the prevailing opinion on this forum is to use a small space and gradually increase and that's what I've done with my other pair. It worked well for them, but they were both definitely trying to establish a hierarchy from the beginning, demanding grooming, humping etc. and making obvious progress from one day to the next. It was definitely going nowhere with these two - they spent all day yesterday and all night in a small area but just spent the whole time switching ends!

Has anyone else had a similar experience? Any thoughts or advice appreciated!

I am not experienced with bonding (only done one) but I would have thought that not grooming yet is not really surprising given their rather awkward start. If it was me I would keep them as they are, watching closely.

Is she still biting him?

tulsi said:

I am not experienced with bonding (only done one) but I would have thought that not grooming yet is not really surprising given their rather awkward start. If it was me I would keep them as they are, watching closely.

Is she still biting him?

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Thanks for your reply Tulsi

She is still biting occasionally, mainly when he tries to go and eat some hay when she's there or if he doesn't move out of the way quickly enough. The other times are usually when she's tried approaching him a few times and he's run off, it's like she's trying to force him to man up and fight back! But he won't, so it's stalemate.

Hopefully she'll realise soon that he's not a threat and stop biting him. Good luck xx

Jolysium said:

Thanks for your reply Tulsi

She is still biting occasionally, mainly when he tries to go and eat some hay when she's there or if he doesn't move out of the way quickly enough. The other times are usually when she's tried approaching him a few times and he's run off, it's like she's trying to force him to man up and fight back! But he won't, so it's stalemate.

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Sounds to me like she is just showing that she is in charge. Stalemate is waaay better than fighting. Hope they settle.

Hi there,
How's it been going today? Any progress?

Karen's said:

Hi there,
How's it been going today? Any progress?

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Hi Karen's, thanks for asking! They have been ok today, eating near to each other but then sitting at opposite ends of the space. No grooming or asking for it, they just seem to be tolerating each other. Am hoping that love will grow!

I'm currently in the middle of my first bond. Last night, the girls tolerated each other and there was a small amount of chasing and Toffee kept biting Socks. I slept on the sofa last night next to them and this afternoon, Socks was grooming Toffee and they're cuddling each other. There may be hope yet for your buns, might just take longer than the 'norm'.
Good luck x


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