• Forum/Server Upgrade If you are reading this you have made it to the upgraded forum. Posts made on the old forum after 26th October 2023 have not been transfered. Everything else should be here. If you find any issues please let us know.

Guilt - a lose-lose situation? :( UD 21/9

ripminnie

Wise Old Thumper
I have talked about this before. But there are good spells and bad spells. Molly. She is much more comfortable with me and OH now, she loves a fuss and floor snuggles. But she's lonely upstairs. And gets scared easily. I can't afford another bun and she can't live downstairs as Olly lives there.
BUT she has so much space, the best of everything, she is insured and she is loved by us. If I was to take her back to the animal rescue place she would be far worse off. She would be in a small hutch with no run, by herself. Her bedding would be shredded paper, which she eats. She would have food she doesn't like. The room she would be in is next to the dog block, which terrified her :( yes, she might get a fabulous new home the following week, but she might be there forever, which I could never forgive myself for :cry: i just don't know what to do. I want her to be happy, but I just can't see how she can be, at the moment :(
 
Last edited:
It's a really tough situation, is there any way you could rehome her yourself through the forum maybe and hopefully remain in touch with new owners?
 
It's a really tough situation, is there any way you could rehome her yourself through the forum maybe and hopefully remain in touch with new owners?

That would be the only solution I could live with I think, but as with most rescue centres they say that you must take them back there instead of rehoming yourself :( even though she'd be worse off there :(
 
That would be the only solution I could live with I think, but as with most rescue centres they say that you must take them back there instead of rehoming yourself :( even though she'd be worse off there :(

They might be willing to let you try rehoming her yourself but I know what you mean.

Will the pair of them definately not bond then? Honey and Jack were a horrible bond that took months but they're comfortable now.
 
:( would you be able to 'foster' her for the rescue so she can stay with you and they can rehome her from there? If that is what you want to do? x
 
Is there any way you can rehome her via the rescue but keep her with you until a new home is found? Like fostering, if you get me? :wave:

ETA: oops Aly got there before me!
 
Last edited:
I don't know the story behind this.

But if you need to rehome her, maybe the rescue would allow you to keep her and rehome privately if they could carry out their normal homecheck once you'd found somewhere for her?
 
:( would you be able to 'foster' her for the rescue so she can stay with you and they can rehome her from there? If that is what you want to do? x

I asked them that a while back, but they said it wasn't possible, as when people come looking for a rabbit they like to see the actual rabbits there in front of them :?
 
I don't know the story behind this.

But if you need to rehome her, maybe the rescue would allow you to keep her and rehome privately if they could carry out their normal homecheck once you'd found somewhere for her?

That is worth looking into, thanks :wave:
 
Hiya - I don't know all your story re Molly but just to give you my own experience at the moment and sometimes this can help to give you other ideas outside of the situation to consider :D

I took on a bunny of many contradictions ( a very applicable phrase from a special bunny lady ) who helped in my decision to take my lovely bunny Alicia - I have worked hard the past 8 months or so winning her trust and she is a lone bunny in our upstairs bedroom but over the months she has learned to come down the stairs and follow my through the house to an outdoor pen area where she can be next to my elderly bunny for play time out - so although not ideal she does get some bunny company - I'm sure your Molly feels loved and the security thing for them can take time - don't beat yourself up about her being alone - nothing is black and white and considering her long term welfare is sometimes a higher priority - Alicia has loads of toys - play time with me before work and later during the day and lots of other benefits - so I feel you can give a single bunny enrichment - and at some stage in the future if my lovely boy goes to the bridge first I may then find a husbun for her but for now I'm doing the best I can for her and she is safe, well cared for and biting my toes as we speak :shock:

I don't mean this response to steer you either way but hope it will help u consider what's best for you both and don't put too much pressure on yourself for everything to be perfect for your bunny - love and safety is a very good start:D
 
Could you not spend a bit more time with her so she doesn't fee so alone? Also provide jer with a soft toy companion.
We were told that of Jimby and Cookie didn't bond we were to return Cookie to the rescue but in all honesty I feel like we rescued her ftom the rescue due to the conditions so I knew we would not return her whatever the outcone and at the stat of the bonding it was horrific! Jimby hated her and it look I think 3 months in total of slow bomding and I think 2 weeks of that I slept on the sofa to watch them at night, it was hard but so worth it as thry are in love mow and I am spoglad we preserved. Maybe your two could be the same?
 
Could you not spend a bit more time with her so she doesn't fee so alone? Also provide jer with a soft toy companion.
We were told that of Jimby and Cookie didn't bond we were to return Cookie to the rescue but in all honesty I feel like we rescued her ftom the rescue due to the conditions so I knew we would not return her whatever the outcone and at the stat of the bonding it was horrific! Jimby hated her and it look I think 3 months in total of slow bomding and I think 2 weeks of that I slept on the sofa to watch them at night, it was hard but so worth it as thry are in love mow and I am spoglad we preserved. Maybe your two could be the same?

Hiya, I spend as much time as I possibly can with all of my buns, as I feel terrible if I don't :( this means I have literally half an hour every evening to just sit down and relax. It's totally exhausting.
She has a soft toy but isn't that bothered with it, she grooms it now and again. And I wish it were possible to try and bond with Olly again, but he just isn't up to it - he is a head tilt bun and I think his vulnerability makes him feel that he has to assert his authority all the time by nipping, which she does not tolerate, and just attacks him. Olly is happy now, I'm not going to put him through it again. But thanks for your ideas :wave:
 
Thanks for taking the time to share your story, that's really nice :love:
Molly does love us spending time with her, we just don't have that much time though :( it's so difficult. But I do agree that she is better off here than where she came from :) x

Hiya - I don't know all your story re Molly but just to give you my own experience at the moment and sometimes this can help to give you other ideas outside of the situation to consider :D

I took on a bunny of many contradictions ( a very applicable phrase from a special bunny lady ) who helped in my decision to take my lovely bunny Alicia - I have worked hard the past 8 months or so winning her trust and she is a lone bunny in our upstairs bedroom but over the months she has learned to come down the stairs and follow my through the house to an outdoor pen area where she can be next to my elderly bunny for play time out - so although not ideal she does get some bunny company - I'm sure your Molly feels loved and the security thing for them can take time - don't beat yourself up about her being alone - nothing is black and white and considering her long term welfare is sometimes a higher priority - Alicia has loads of toys - play time with me before work and later during the day and lots of other benefits - so I feel you can give a single bunny enrichment - and at some stage in the future if my lovely boy goes to the bridge first I may then find a husbun for her but for now I'm doing the best I can for her and she is safe, well cared for and biting my toes as we speak :shock:

I don't mean this response to steer you either way but hope it will help u consider what's best for you both and don't put too much pressure on yourself for everything to be perfect for your bunny - love and safety is a very good start:D
 
I don't know the story behind this but if you have other bunnies will she not bond with any of them? If not, then could she move to where she is near to them so that she has some company even if it isn't direct contact?
 
She is a really loved and cared for bun, not to mention absolutely gorgeous.

Try to focus on the positives - you love her loads, she has lots of space to play and can snooze in peace without any fear.

It is hard when you worry about them so much but you have given her a loving home xxxx
 
Is bonding Ollie and Molly completely out of the picture?

Betty and walter had a very difficult bond (we had a proper biting with blood fight, separated them, and i cried like a small child). They totally love each other now but at the time it was horrific. I nearly gave up and didnt sleep properly for two weeks waking to stop scuffles or general movement i was dreaming was a fight. We tried to bond betty before this and it just wouldnt work though. She is just a stroppy little madam (who just tried to eat my laptop case!)

From crying at our old vet, I think sometimes bonds are not meant to be. And sometimes they are just mega mega difficult.

If it isnt working out with you and she is lonely, then it isnt working out.

You shouldnt beat yourself up over trying to do a good thing but it not working out.

You could always just approach the rescue centre for some advice? without making a decision.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.
 
Could you not spend a bit more time with her so she doesn't fee so alone? Also provide jer with a soft toy companion.
We were told that of Jimby and Cookie didn't bond we were to return Cookie to the rescue but in all honesty I feel like we rescued her ftom the rescue due to the conditions so I knew we would not return her whatever the outcone and at the stat of the bonding it was horrific! Jimby hated her and it look I think 3 months in total of slow bomding and I think 2 weeks of that I slept on the sofa to watch them at night, it was hard but so worth it as thry are in love mow and I am spoglad we preserved. Maybe your two could be the same?

Yeah that's great advice re the toys - I,d forgotten about the cuddle toys - I constantly swap toys over between my upstairs and downstairs buns to help them get used to the scent so as well as comfort it may help a future bond -

I would have had no problem with returning my bun to the rescue who helped with rehoming my girlie and I feel confident they would have rehomed her to the best possible home but I knew deep in my heart she was meant for me and with their continued support its helped me handle the little challenges along the way which I'm glad to say have all been really small:D

I never watch tv now - lol I'd much rather keep a lone bunny company and enjoy some bunny luv :love:
 
Just a bit of an update really :? I was going to update yesterday, to say that Molly was seeming much happier and more relaxed, but today it's not so good :( I just don't get it really. We've gone almost a week where she's been chilled, not thumping, not trashing her litter tray quite so much, and loving her snuggles. The last couple of days she's been trashing her tray again ( she only ever does that in the mornings though). Today she did it again, but she has still enjoyed her strokes and floor snuggles; however tonight, she is trashing her tray again. She's NEVER done it at night. Ever. I know if I try to stop her she gets mad, so I just sit and watch her now. I decided to chuck in a pile of fresh hay to see if it would distract her, but she kept growling at me :( I just don't know what to do with her, I really am doing my very best :(
 
I have a very complex bunny, Bodger, who for reasons only known to him, absolutely hates other rabbits and so it is not safe for him to be out when other rabbits are about, or rather that should read, it is not safe for them to be out. He was initially kept by himself, but then became a lot like how your Molly is being, and I decided then, that the time was right for him to have some bunny neighbours.

He absolutely loves living next door to Dipsy and Pippa now and seems really happy and all his bad behaviour has stopped. He was previously in a room by himself. I now have in my lounge 2 really large puppy pens, 1 for D&P and the other for Bodger, and because I have used the walls for 2 sides of the pens, they really are much bigger. D&P now free-range all day and Bodger free-ranges at night.

Would that be an options at all, so that Molly has got some bunny company, but can't upset Olly and vica versa.
 
Back
Top