Opinions please... is it the best thing or the worst thing? Selfish? Despicable?

I feel terrible for even asking this... please advise me on what is the best course of action.

I have three bunnies all living separately, one female and two males. I have tried bonding the female with both the males individually and she was very aggressive, there were major fights and they had to be separated again. I didn't intend to end up with three separate bunnies and as a result the female doesn't have as much space as I would like and I can't give her more space until I've sorted outdoor accommodation which will be a couple of months at least.

I've been speaking to rescues about finding them friends as I don't want to try bonding again if I can avoid it. One of the rescues I spoke to suggested 'trading' my Freda for another female who would get on with one of my male bunnies. I rejected this idea immediately at the time because she's my baby and I love her, I would never have thought of returning her, but since then I've been wondering if that is selfish and I should consider it for her sake. Then I feel awful for even thinking about giving her up, I adopted her and am responsible for her, I really want her to be happy. The rescue said they have loads of single males who they could try her with and she'd be bound to find a friend. But then what if no one adopted her?

I'm so confused and don't know what would be best. I really want them all to be happy. What should I do?

Have you thought about trying to bond the two males? Would that then give you space to get her a partner of her own?

Amy104 said:

Have you thought about trying to bond the two males? Would that then give you space to get her a partner of her own?

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Yes, that could work! I'm really scared of trying bonding again though, my last two attempts were so disastrous and stressful, and I don't really have a neutral space to do it in with having them all in separate rooms at the moment. Perhaps I could find somewhere nearby to bond them for me but I'm really scared of them getting hurt or stressed out, particularly because one of my boys has been unwell.

Are they speyed and neutered ?

yaretzi said:

Are they speyed and neutered ?

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Yes, all done. I've just been sitting with Freda, letting her out on to the landing to run about as well as in her room. I really don't want to give her up, she was such a challenge when she first arrived, lunging and biting all the time, thumping constantly, and after 2 months of work she's totally changed, binkies about and licks me to demand grooming, so she can't be really unhappy can she? She just needs a friend and more space.

I'm in Barnsley
I'm tied up in Jun - but after that, if you will make a donation to BARC (Bunnymadhouse on here), I will happily try to bond for you, whether a newbie or your existing buns

yaretzi said:

Are they speyed and neutered ?

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This is what I was just about to post.

As for giving back any rabbit I had adopted, I know I simply could not do it. These are my experiences:

I was having problems with a trio at one time and a friend from here offered to take one of my males to bond with her rabbits. I was all for it - until she visited to collect him ..... and I just could not do it. Love for your pets is a strange thing.

I was forced to re-home a cat I had adopted as she was so 'full-on' that she terrified my other cats, and after about 3 months of living in a war zone I had to admit defeat. She went to a lovely new home, and I know it was the best for everyone, but I had not realised how much I had grown to love her in such a short time. I still miss her dreadfully - and feel guilty that I failed her.

Angie65 said:

I'm in Barnsley
I'm tied up in Jun - but after that, if you will make a donation to BARC (Bunnymadhouse on here), I will happily try to bond for you, whether a newbie or your existing buns

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Thanks Angie That would be great. The more I think about it the more I think I couldn't do it. I had a rabbit dumped on me a few years back and my husband made me give her up and it nearly destroyed me. I actually took her to Barnsley.

Babsie said:

This is what I was just about to post.

As for giving back any rabbit I had adopted, I know I simply could not do it. These are my experiences:

I was having problems with a trio at one time and a friend from here offered to take one of my males to bond with her rabbits. I was all for it - until she visited to collect him ..... and I just could not do it. Love for your pets is a strange thing.

I was forced to re-home a cat I had adopted as she was so 'full-on' that she terrified my other cats, and after about 3 months of living in a war zone I had to admit defeat. She went to a lovely new home, and I know it was the best for everyone, but I had not realised how much I had grown to love her in such a short time. I still miss her dreadfully - and feel guilty that I failed her.

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I know I'd feel the same. I was just worried that I was looking at it selfishly rather than thinking what was best for her. I really hope the two boys get on, then I could definitely keep her and get her a friend! Surely I can't have ended up with three rabbits who all dislike each other, that would be too cruel!

I have had quite a few bonded male pairs. Boys seem so much more acepting than girls. x

My male/male pairings were my easiest bonds - hopefully it will work for yours too.

happybunny said:

I have had quite a few bonded male pairs. Boys seem so much more acepting than girls. x

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Amy104 said:

My male/male pairings were my easiest bonds - hopefully it will work for yours too.

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Thanks, I'm feeling much more hopeful for that!

When I first starting bonding bunnies male/male pairings were documents as impossible! It all depends on the bunnies.

The closest bond I have had was between 2 boys. We had a goup of 4 - 2boy/2 girls. When the girls started to fight we had to make a trio as we knew the boys could never be seperated into 2 pairs. x

A lot of rescues let you try to bond a bun with yours and bring them back if it dsnt work out and try another bun until you do the right pair

I also think getting someone else to bond them on neutral territory ('scary place' that they've never been before, new person, completely new surroundings) may work. You might be able to bond into a pair and then adopt another to keep the single one company, or possibly into a trio. I think even when bonding in a new room with a new enclosure etc, there's still 'you' to fight over. Completely neutral territory and neutral everything may do the trick.

yaretzi said:

I also think getting someone else to bond them on neutral territory ('scary place' that they've never been before, new person, completely new surroundings) may work. You might be able to bond into a pair and then adopt another to keep the single one company, or possibly into a trio. I think even when bonding in a new room with a new enclosure etc, there's still 'you' to fight over. Completely neutral territory and neutral everything may do the trick.

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This is a good point I have bonded a friends buns doing exactly what she did but because it was me and not her we think it worked as they didn't give a damn about me lol

yaretzi said:

I also think getting someone else to bond them on neutral territory ('scary place' that they've never been before, new person, completely new surroundings) may work. You might be able to bond into a pair and then adopt another to keep the single one company, or possibly into a trio. I think even when bonding in a new room with a new enclosure etc, there's still 'you' to fight over. Completely neutral territory and neutral everything may do the trick.

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Thanks, I hadn't thought of that. If that's the case wouldn't they just fight when they got home though?

Just wanted to say I hope all works out so you can still keep your girl. Fingers crossed for a happy ending.

When my rabbit died I had awful problems trying to bond the remaining rabbit with another,she kept chasing and trying to attack him. Eventually we adopted from a rescue who were able to bond for us. It was the best thing for us as I was also struggling to find "neutral" space. I had worried that she would spend the rest of her life alone but she and her new partner are very happy together now.hope it works out for you too

I know I couldn't give her up if I was you.

I do wonder if she's bonded with you, as although most buns need to be with bunny company there are always exceptions to the rule. I would definitely try the two boys, my two were littermates (or so I believe) and they had always been together (given to the rescue together by a vet who was told by the owners they couldn't keep them anymore). So they'd stuck together through hormones and getting neutered too.