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I think I've ruined Olly's life :o( I'm so upset :o(

ripminnie

Wise Old Thumper
I got Molly to bond with Olly when Honey died. As many of you know, the bond didn't work out :cry: so I have spent the last couple of weeks wondering what to do. Me and OH both felt that we couldn't take Molly back to the rescue, where she would be stuck in a small hutch for maybe months until someone else adopted her. That would be awful. So Molly is now upstairs in a large pen in Olly's old room, and Olly is in the living room. He currently has a pen but it is always open. We are planning to get rid of the pen and just have a litter tray and hidey boxes. Earlier this afternoon I brought some of his stuff down from upstairs, including his ramp for getting onto things, and he can't do it anymore :cry: he is a head tilt bun so things like that are quite tricky for him, but when it was in his room he used to race up and down no problem. I think he's been away from it for so long (a month) he's unlearnt it, and lost his confidence :cry: I was thinking that he would prefer being downstairs with us as he'd have company, but now I'm thinking he actually would be far better off upstairs, he had the run of the whole upstairs :( Now Molly is going to have that and Olly is stuck downstairs and can't do the things he used to do :cry: Molly living downstairs is not an option, she needs watching constantly and would be out the door in a flash - there's no chance of that with Olly. I can't bear the thought that Olly's life will not be as good, I wanted him to be happier not worse off :cry: but the only solution is to take Molly back, when she's got used to us and having space to play :( I just feel so bad and don't know what to do :(
 
Is there really no chance of the bond working? I don't know what happened in the end but it sounded to me at the time as if it was all fairly positive and could work given time. If there really is absolutely no way, I'm afraid I would suggest taking her back to the rescue. Yes it's not nice for her especially now she's got used to the space, but assuming that it's a reputable rescue, she will at some point get rehomed to live with a husbun.

So in the short term, yes she will probably be less happy, but in the longer term, she will be more happy as she will have a partner of her own in accommodation that is suitable for her needs, AND Olly will be happier because he will have the space he feels confident in. So it would be an optimum solution for both bunnies in the longer term.

Whereas if you keep them both, you have a sub-optimum solution for both bunnies, because Olly is downstairs in a place he is not confident, and she is upstairs without as much company.

I know it's really difficult to do, but if rebonding really isn't an option, then I think taking her back is the best solution for them both in the longer term I'm afraid.
 
Aww I'm so sorry things didn't work out between Olly and Molly, I think it sounds nice where he is downstairs with you, and I'm sure he loves it like that. Maybe he will regain confidence with the ramp, can you encourage him with food? I should imagine even if he was moved back upstairs he would still be the same with the ramp, but I've no experience with headtilt buns so I don't know.... Maybe he will be more confident downstairs once he's settled in. I wish they could talk to us!
 
Thanks for replying. I know you are probably right :cry: I am crying right now at the thought of taking her back, she was so scared there, the dog block was right opposite and the barking really frightened her :( she has chilled out so much here. It's an awful situation to be in :cry:

Is there really no chance of the bond working? I don't know what happened in the end but it sounded to me at the time as if it was all fairly positive and could work given time. If there really is absolutely no way, I'm afraid I would suggest taking her back to the rescue. Yes it's not nice for her especially now she's got used to the space, but assuming that it's a reputable rescue, she will at some point get rehomed to live with a husbun.

So in the short term, yes she will probably be less happy, but in the longer term, she will be more happy as she will have a partner of her own in accommodation that is suitable for her needs, AND Olly will be happier because he will have the space he feels confident in. So it would be an optimum solution for both bunnies in the longer term.

Whereas if you keep them both, you have a sub-optimum solution for both bunnies, because Olly is downstairs in a place he is not confident, and she is upstairs without as much company.

I know it's really difficult to do, but if rebonding really isn't an option, then I think taking her back is the best solution for them both in the longer term I'm afraid.
 
Why can't you put her in the pen with access to free range when your home and put olly back in his room. He's had a lot to go through so maybe he's just nervous. I don't think you should make a rash decision give him a few weeks to settle
 
Good idea re a pen for Molly downstairs and Olly going back to his room. Its so hard doing what is best for them... I have just moved an indoor bunny outside and he is not at all relaxed yet... I hope you find a sweet solution that you feel good about.
 
Why can't you put her in the pen with access to free range when your home and put olly back in his room. He's had a lot to go through so maybe he's just nervous. I don't think you should make a rash decision give him a few weeks to settle

This isn't an option unfortunately. Molly trashes the place while she's caged, understandable after spending her life in a tiny hutch :( she gets very frustrated, and for her to free range we have to be in the room at all times.
 
Could someone on RU rebond for you ? I am not sure where Lancs is but guess its up North.

I don't know if you know Mr Bennett's and Cutie-pie's bond broke down and they had to be in separate rooms. It wasn't easy as Cutie-pie would sometimes slip through to see Mr B and he would completely freak out. Solution for us was get a new companion for Cutie-pie. I didn't for Mr B as he already had a history with the rescue of broken bonds and was sent back twice.

For the first few months Cutie-pie and Bandit were in the back room but eventually I moved them outside. Could you move Molly outside ? I know its bit of an expense but you could get her a friend, although you probably don't want to end up with 3 or 4 buns.
 
No advice but just wanted to say that I'm sorry you're in this position and hope you can reach a decision that suits everyone xxx
 
Could someone on RU rebond for you ? I am not sure where Lancs is but guess its up North.

I don't know if you know Mr Bennett's and Cutie-pie's bond broke down and they had to be in separate rooms. It wasn't easy as Cutie-pie would sometimes slip through to see Mr B and he would completely freak out. Solution for us was get a new companion for Cutie-pie. I didn't for Mr B as he already had a history with the rescue of broken bonds and was sent back twice.

For the first few months Cutie-pie and Bandit were in the back room but eventually I moved them outside. Could you move Molly outside ? I know its bit of an expense but you could get her a friend, although you probably don't want to end up with 3 or 4 buns.

yes I echo this and santas post

it might be that someone else doing the bonding who has lots of experience with more difficult bonds etc..

could bond them and it work
 
This isn't an option unfortunately. Molly trashes the place while she's caged, understandable after spending her life in a tiny hutch :( she gets very frustrated, and for her to free range we have to be in the room at all times.

How big is the pen? And define trashing. My two do dig and tug and eat carpet but I easily put tiles and a carpet off cut to put over the top. If its her stuff she is throwing around then that's normal and shouldn't cause damage.
 
Can you make Molly a bigger area (I know you said she trashed things when in her pen) - NIC panels to enlarge her area, with bits of free-range when you are able?

Personally I would feel unable to take Molly back - but perhaps it is unfair of me to say this as you are obviously (and naturally) upset about the situation. As someone else said, don't make any rash decisions, give yourself chance to think things through and examine all the possibilities.
 
I have no advice either but are you sure Olly is unhappy. He may like being with you downstairs and having company.

I wouldn't get rid of Molly if it is upsetting to you. Sounds like she deserves a happy home too.
 
I know my story is different to yours, but Mimzy had to get used to new accommodations after his head tilt that took him out of the buns' room, and so even though he can't see them near him anymore, he has adjusted well and actually shows no interest in returning to their area. (He is in my kitchen now and gets more human interaction.)
Mimzy's bond with his mate was broken years ago and I was trying to bond him with Fiver right before he tilted...a year ago tomorrow. I've tried a few times to bring both Fiver and Pip out to form a new bond with him but he is more aggressive now due to his tilt. I am too scared he will injure or frighten either of them or himself. At the moment he is living the life of a king in his kitchen run and seems quite content while the other two are still in the bunny room in their separate enclosures.
I would also hate to see you have to return Molly...that place sounds awful. :( If nothing else, could a kind RUer with room give Molly a home?
I really hope something can be worked out. (((((((((Hugs)))))))))
And no...you haven't ruined Olly's life...there are adjustments to be made any time we lose a member of the family as Honey was...he is a good bun just learning some new ropes...it may yet work. :)
 
Hi :wave: No there is no way I would take Olly anywhere else to be bonded, he is far too nervous as it is, travelling really disorientates him with his head tilt, I won't put him through the stress unnecessarily.
If Daisy and Digby weren't outside then yes I would put Molly out there! I wish I could do that actually :( I don't want to upset their bond though. Thanks for your thoughts x

Could someone on RU rebond for you ? I am not sure where Lancs is but guess its up North.

I don't know if you know Mr Bennett's and Cutie-pie's bond broke down and they had to be in separate rooms. It wasn't easy as Cutie-pie would sometimes slip through to see Mr B and he would completely freak out. Solution for us was get a new companion for Cutie-pie. I didn't for Mr B as he already had a history with the rescue of broken bonds and was sent back twice.

For the first few months Cutie-pie and Bandit were in the back room but eventually I moved them outside. Could you move Molly outside ? I know its bit of an expense but you could get her a friend, although you probably don't want to end up with 3 or 4 buns.
 
How big is the pen? And define trashing. My two do dig and tug and eat carpet but I easily put tiles and a carpet off cut to put over the top. If its her stuff she is throwing around then that's normal and shouldn't cause damage.

Molly's pen downstairs was only about 3' x 4', as it was a temporary measure while she and Olly got to know each other through the bars. If she had double that size (ie. Olly's pen aswell) it takes over the lounge, which isn't very big. It's ok temporarily, but not really as a permanent solution. My OH has been very tolerant of me slowly taking over his house with bunnies, but that would be a bit much I think :(

And trashing is a litter tray thing, she gets bored and stressed so shreds all the paper underneath the hay in her tray, which is soaked with wee, then chucks it all over the place. She then wees where the paper should be but there's nothing to soak it up so it just ends up as a puddle :( not good!!
 
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I know my story is different to yours, but Mimzy had to get used to new accommodations after his head tilt that took him out of the buns' room, and so even though he can't see them near him anymore, he has adjusted well and actually shows no interest in returning to their area. (He is in my kitchen now and gets more human interaction.)
Mimzy's bond with his mate was broken years ago and I was trying to bond him with Fiver right before he tilted...a year ago tomorrow. I've tried a few times to bring both Fiver and Pip out to form a new bond with him but he is more aggressive now due to his tilt. I am too scared he will injure or frighten either of them or himself. At the moment he is living the life of a king in his kitchen run and seems quite content while the other two are still in the bunny room in their separate enclosures.
I would also hate to see you have to return Molly...that place sounds awful. :( If nothing else, could a kind RUer with room give Molly a home?
I really hope something can be worked out. (((((((((Hugs)))))))))
And no...you haven't ruined Olly's life...there are adjustments to be made any time we lose a member of the family as Honey was...he is a good bun just learning some new ropes...it may yet work. :)

Thank you, that makes me feel a bit better xxx
 
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