This forum can be NASTY!

Over the last few days i have noticed this more and more....
People come on here for advice and instead get lectured, belittled, and made to feel like inadequate pet owners.

Surely the fact that someone posts on here indicates that they give a **** what happens to their rabbit/s and that if they are asking for help/ advice then people should be trying to encourage and educate rather than shooting someone down in flames?

Lets face it, can ANY of you claim to have known it all when you started out keeping rabbits?!!!!!

And even of you got the housing etc right first time, feeding, health requirements, etc..... Theses all come down a lot to experience rather than research so who are any of us to make someone feel like a bad pet owner for npt getting it right first time??!

Just saying.

Hope you are ok. I know I wasn't the best when I joined and I still rarely give advice unless I can, because we all make mistakes, unless it seems like a vet emergency. Its not easy when you join.

I'm referring more to posts from others to be honest! I can believe how judgemental and almost bullying some of the regular forum users are.

Just do what I do.....focus on the good people

It's just like real life, we all have differing opinions and ideas and sometimes they clash.

Well said :thumb: I have also felt like this about one member in particular (not that they are being bullying, but that they are being bullied!) and it does annoy me at times, I have to be honest! Hope you're OK x

i promise you its way better than it used to be. but, there have been some nasty messages recently - more mean-spirited and high-handed than directly unpleasant.

but we're supposed to report them, aren't we? maybe we should.

Kermit said:

Just do what I do.....focus on the good people

It's just like real life, we all have differing opinions and ideas and sometimes they clash.

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But what about the 'good' people who are actually judgemental morons?!!!!!

There are times when people are blunt, possibly unnecessarily so, often because they are giving the same information time and time again. Often the tone isn't all it could be because last time they gave the same bit of good advice it was ignored or over-ruled by the person asking for the advice. However - balance that out with all the wonderful advice given by many people who really know what they are talking about who give their time to sharing information with others. Yes, occasionally there bluntness, even rudeness and sometimes it isn't justified.... but on the whole when it comes to giving/receiving advice this place is awesome

Bugalugs said:

I'm referring more to posts from others to be honest! I can believe how judgemental and almost bullying some of the regular forum users are.

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Different people with different personalities. There are many many kind people here. There really is. :wave:

If there was any bullying, people would come down on them like a ton of bricks. There are arguments but on the whole its a good forum.

Bugalugs said:

But what about the 'good' people who are actually judgemental morons?!!!!!

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Then I just choose to ignore those specific posts.....I am a sit on the fence RU member

This has been going on for quite a while now and is why people don't come back or they leave i try and ignore it but there is only so much one can take

I think it can be hard to judge how something being written in either a text message or on the internet is supposd to sound.
For example they might have meant it to be light hearted or funny, but someone else reading it might take it the wrong way.
Personally I never take offence to anything I read online or in a text, unless it's totally blatantly meant to be nasty etc.
I think this forum is great, it certainly calms me down when i'm worrying about something silly.
And I always try to make sure that no one can read something I write in the wrong way, but then there are times when I'm maybe rushing or tired and when I read it back i'm like 'nat, that makes no sense hen..' :lol:

Bugalugs said:

Over the last few days i have noticed this more and more....
People come on here for advice and instead get lectured, belittled, and made to feel like inadequate pet owners.

Surely the fact that someone posts on here indicates that they give a **** what happens to their rabbit/s and that if they are asking for help/ advice then people should be trying to encourage and educate rather than shooting someone down in flames?

Lets face it, can ANY of you claim to have known it all when you started out keeping rabbits?!!!!!

And even of you got the housing etc right first time, feeding, health requirements, etc..... Theses all come down a lot to experience rather than research so who are any of us to make someone feel like a bad pet owner for npt getting it right first time??!

Just saying.

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I come on here so that i can learn with the benefit of others exp, the forum has been very helpful to me on many issues with bunny care, i am starting out afresh as havent had bunnies for many years (since i was a kid tbh) i have learnt so much by research as well as i so want to get it right, i must admit i made a few mistakes to begin with, luckily simple ones for instance i had my bunnies on woodshavings in their hutch to begin with,now i dont use them after finding out it can cause respiratory illness, i only offer advice on things that i am knowledgeable about and try not to belittle anyone, i know the thread you are talking about as i have seen it this evening and i too thought it wasn't very nice,from what i can gather the person posting the original question sounded like a teenager who is willing to learn and in doing so joined the forum,i dont think the person was a bad bunny keeper, but was merely learning and was asking sensible advice which tbh i think thats a good thing considering what some teenagers are like these days, it's the first occurance of nastiness that i've seen since joining and i didn't like it,the forum is meant to be a friendly place that we can learn from each other,not a place to make a person feel bad when that person is doing the best they can and is seeking advice to learn all they can, i can tell you my buns were originally being kept in appalling conditions by their previous owner who just did not have a clue and hadn't bothered to do any research, i've had them since june and got them to give them a better life, which they most def do have, i am still improving things for my buns and in the short time ive had them ive spent a fortune including vets bills,but i adore them and know everything is getting better for them, i felt sorry for the person in that thread tonight, i felt it was uncalled for and in some places quite nasty, i hope it hasn't put the person off from staying with us so that they can get the advice they seek and so that he/she can become a tip top bunny owner. Furthermore i hope i don't see nastyness like that again as i might consider leaving the forum, as this place is meant to be a nice place and i don't want to be a part of anything that treats people nasty tbh even if it's only the odd few doing it.

Well said.

We were all inexperienced once. Some people seem to forget that.

I have only come across 2 or 3 meanies though. Most people on here are lovely

natsusakura said:

And I always try to make sure that no one can read something I write in the wrong way, but then there are times when I'm maybe rushing or tired and when I read it back i'm like 'nat, that makes no sense hen..' :lol:

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Aye, I often re-write my posts about 10 times before sending just so it deffo couldn't be taken the wrong way. I even sometimes go to post then totally change my mind as I think 'nah, such and such might take this the wrong way'

I agree people are often harsh on new members and tend to jump on them especially when it comes to breeding or buying from a pet shop or whatever, but all its doing is scaring people away. I hated this forum for a long time but as its the most active I just got used to it.

You also need to consider their side though, there are lots of people that join and straight away mention something most of the forum is strongly against. Breeding/pet shop people are jumped on because this is a rescue forum and many many members have experienced first hand the number of rabbits in rescues and the terrible conditions they often come from, it's very upsetting for them and when rescues get regular phone calls, emails and forum posts from people who've bred and can't rehome the rabbits, or are bored of their pet shop rabbit, or just are generally clueless I imagine they get sick of having to repeat the same thing.

Also, it can be difficult to tell the tone of messages online, you can't hear how a persons speaking or read their body language, what might sound nice to them could sound very rude to someone else.

So anyway I hope people understand this and don't take the rude/judgemental comments personally, and at the same time I think other members need to calm it down a bit with new members, don't take you're own anger out on new people, it's not doing them or yourself any good in fact it's just scaring people off and making things worse. I know my rabbits would of had much better lives, much earlier on if I hadn't been so wary and inactive on this forum for years. It's not always people directly saying awful things either, sometimes they are just trying to be helpful and explain but I think the anger they feel at irresponsible owners makes the tone of the posts sound very rude

Challenge them, its what I do. Both on the internet and in real life.
In general though, this forum is a lot nicer than many others. Horse forums in particular can be harsh, one I used to use regually got pretty brutal at times.

Kermit said:

Aye, I often re-write my posts about 10 times before sending just so it deffo couldn't be taken the wrong way. I even sometimes go to post then totally change my mind as I think 'nah, such and such might take this the wrong way'

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aye i do that too.
Not the such and such might take it the wrong way more i don't want to make a total goon of myself. :lol:

Kermit said:

Aye, I often re-write my posts about 10 times before sending just so it deffo couldn't be taken the wrong way. I even sometimes go to post then totally change my mind as I think 'nah, such and such might take this the wrong way'

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This is so me :lol:

I haven't seen the recent threads you are referring too but it's true that sometimes people can seem to jump on someone- I understand that sometimes things need to be said for the sake of animal welfare that people may not want to hear but there are ways of putting things and generally it's better to use a bit of tact as there is a greater chance of the person actually listening to the advice and making changes for the better, rather than simply feeling as though they are being attacked and never coming back, especially if lots of people are saying the same things xx

ETA: Kermit: me too- all the time!