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View Full Version : Cant cope any more. Any RU members want bunnies plus hutch and starting money?



Jemma&Theo
04-06-2012, 04:42 PM
Hi,

I know im going to get abuse for this but Its my rabbits im concerned with and I hope someone will see that im doing whats best for them, so here goes,

I have 5 bunnies and recently had a baby. (13 weeks old)

I tried today to bond my group of two with my group of three and it went horribly wrong.

I havent got time for all the bunnies any more and I could just leave them in their hutches and feed and clean them out but they are just not getting the time and attention that they need.

Im looking for a forum member and a rabbit fan to home three of them. A bonded group of three girls , all with beautiful tempraments, especially one special girl who loves cuddles that I just cant give her anymore. All 3 love human contact and they just arent getting it.

My baby is a nightmare and screams all day and I just cannot afford my poor bunnies ANY time.

If someone is interested I will arrange delivery of the 6ft hutch which is lovely and bespoke to them, along with their food and hay and 250 start up money.

This is going to go to someone who will love them and care for them... and who will update me regularly about whats going on in their lives.

Im going to get abuse, but believe me it wont hurt as much as Im hating myself at the moment.

The other pair I have had 6 years and will be staying with me as they dont like humans at all and are not missing out on my attention.

The hutch and Run : a bit more chewed now

http://i169.photobucket.com/albums/u206/jemmayale/Photo0834.jpg

http://i169.photobucket.com/albums/u206/jemmayale/Photo0939.jpg

My 3 lovely babies

http://i169.photobucket.com/albums/u206/jemmayale/Photo1013.jpg

Noodle

http://i169.photobucket.com/albums/u206/jemmayale/Photo1027.jpg

Lucy and Twiglet

http://i169.photobucket.com/albums/u206/jemmayale/Photo0619.jpg

Aly&Poppy<3
04-06-2012, 04:47 PM
How awful for you :( it must be so hard :( They are all gorgeous:love: I hope someone can help xxx

Jemma&Theo
04-06-2012, 04:47 PM
Noodle, she has 3 legs

http://s169.photobucket.com/albums/u206/jemmayale/?action=view&current=DSCF0672.mp4

binkies

http://s169.photobucket.com/albums/u206/jemmayale/?action=view&current=Video0093.mp4

Jack's-Jane
04-06-2012, 04:49 PM
You need to PM SOAD if you want to put your Rabbits up for Rehoming on here

http://forums.rabbitrehome.org.uk/showthread.php?51171-How-to-post-Rabbits-needing-rehoming-READ-THIS-FIRST

Jemma&Theo
04-06-2012, 04:49 PM
How awful for you :( it must be so hard :( They are all gorgeous:love: I hope someone can help xxx

thank you, i love them so much, iv considered every option.

I know there are people on here who would love more bunnies who havent the housing or cash so this will hopefully suit someone,

If preferred I can give 100 up front and 6 payments of 25 per month after that to cover food etc.

whatever suits the right person

wendle
04-06-2012, 04:51 PM
Aww I'm so sorry you are in a awful situation I hope someone comes along and takes in your 3 gorgeous babies and gives them a loving forever home :love:

Jemma&Theo
04-06-2012, 04:53 PM
have PM'd now, i didnt realise

Mrs. Bunnykins
04-06-2012, 04:56 PM
I'm sure that your decision to re-home your bunnies has not been an easy one.

You have obviously thought long and hard about it though.

With the added help of hutch, money etc, hopefully some suitable bunny lover will come along.

It does seem a shame for you to have to give them up, but is sounds like you are acting very responsibly taking all things into consideration.

Fingers crossed that things work out for the best for everybody and every bunny.

lilbun
04-06-2012, 04:56 PM
I'm sorry you're finding things so hard.

You can ignore me if you like but I'm just concerned that you may regret your decision to rehome the buns later. It sounds like you love the bunnies very much. Have you got any one to help you with the baby? Is there a reason she cries all the time? Is there a possibility you might have post natal depression?

I can well understand the exhaustion you're feeling as I'm a mum to 5 buns (a 2 and a 3- currently being a pain due to spring fever issues) and a 6 month old baby. I don't think I've slept a whole night since the 2nd trimester but it does get better I promise.

Jemma&Theo
04-06-2012, 05:04 PM
I'm sorry you're finding things so hard.

You can ignore me if you like but I'm just concerned that you may regret your decision to rehome the buns later. It sounds like you love the bunnies very much. Have you got any one to help you with the baby? Is there a reason she cries all the time? Is there a possibility you might have post natal depression?

I can well understand the exhaustion you're feeling as I'm a mum to 5 buns (a 2 and a 3- currently being a pain due to spring fever issues) and a 6 month old baby. I don't think I've slept a whole night since the 2nd trimester but it does get better I promise.

Hi,

I do love them very much. I have help with the baby, my husband works full time shifts and he has the baby when he gets back but then I have only time to use the toilet and pick up the trail of destruction that has started thru the day. Im lucky in one respect that the baby sleeps through the night from 9pm until 7am so I get sleep but during the day she demands CONSTANT care. I think (and my mom has suggested this) that she has reached the stage where she has realised mommy comes when she cries, so she wont let me leave her side and all the websites say this isnt possible in such a yound baby but i can see no other reason for it.

I have thought about it, but i had a difficult pregnancy and was hospitalised for the end of it and then had a section, and my husband did everything, he finds time now to clean the bunnies out every other day but thats literally it. They deserve more. I feel i dont know them any more and today was the first time I have been able to spend 5 minutes with them since the middle of my pregnancy in october 2011.

They get food, water, hay and a clean hutch and plenty of excersize but it ends there. Theo and Cleo have started overgrooming its gotten so bad.

They arent neglected, but they are bored.

Thanks

I have thought it through . I just cant see it ever getting any better and the buns arent getting any younger

Bea & Floss
04-06-2012, 05:12 PM
I'm really sorry you feel you have to rehome your bunnies :( but i completely understand how exhausting having a baby who cries all day can be, my first was like that and it was so so hard. My concen also is you'll regret rehoming them if that is the only reason. I was lucky that I had someone who helped look after the animals when things were at their hardest and i know if i had rehomed anyone i would of really regretted it. Is there anyone who could do the same for you? Or perhaps someone could foster the bunnies for you until your baby is a bit older and you have more time?

Santa
04-06-2012, 05:16 PM
I'm so sorry you feel that you have to make such a difficult decision :cry:

The thing that immediately strikes me is that if Theo and Cleo are the ones showing particular behavioural issues and over grooming, then wouldn't it be fairer to consider rehoming them rather than the trio? What would realistically change at that point that would mean that Theo and Cleo would cease to be so stressed?

Hugs to you, must be an awful position to find yourself in xx

lilbun
04-06-2012, 05:19 PM
It's completely natural and normal for baby to want to be with you constantly- you are her world and she is helpless without you at the moment but she will start to become more independent in a matter of months as she starts to learn that if she can't see you it doesn't mean you've gone forever and gradually you'll find she can amuse herself for longer (hark at me trying to sound like I know what I'm talking about lol). In a year or two you'll probably find she wants to be off getting into mischief and you'll be missing the cuddly, clingy baby stage!

Do you have a sling that you could carry her in whilst getting on with things? (the baby bjorn active one is good)
An absolute life-saver for me has been an electric swing. I can plonk my boy in his with a toy and he will swing away happily for ages while I get on with things. In fact I have two swings- one in the living room and a portable one that I can take into the garden whilst I am outside with the rabbits.

Would your husband be able to take any time off to give you a bit of a break?

Your bunnies are absolutely gorgeous and I would have them in a heartbeat if I could but the OH has threatened to evict me if I get any more (and he means it this time) xx

Jemma&Theo
04-06-2012, 05:22 PM
I'm really sorry you feel you have to rehome your bunnies :( but i completely understand how exhausting having a baby who cries all day can be, my first was like that and it was so so hard. My concen also is you'll regret rehoming them if that is the only reason. I was lucky that I had someone who helped look after the animals when things were at their hardest and i know if i had rehomed anyone i would of really regretted it. Is there anyone who could do the same for you? Or perhaps someone could foster the bunnies for you until your baby is a bit older and you have more time?

Hi,

My husband does care for them like i say but taking care of their basic needs is where it ends. If they went to foster I know id end up never having them back. Id like to pretend I would but its like 'out of sight out of mind' isnt it, then the poor things would just be in limbo,

I know i will regret it, but not as much as I regret leaving them to it for the last 8 months with next to no human contact. Like i say, I COULD keep them, but what life would they have? They deserve to be spoilt they are so friendly and love people.

I hate this situation, even as I type the baby is on my lap and I know if i move she will go beserk.

Jemma&Theo
04-06-2012, 05:25 PM
I'm so sorry you feel that you have to make such a difficult decision :cry:

The thing that immediately strikes me is that if Theo and Cleo are the ones showing particular behavioural issues and over grooming, then wouldn't it be fairer to consider rehoming them rather than the trio? What would realistically change at that point that would mean that Theo and Cleo would cease to be so stressed?

Hugs to you, must be an awful position to find yourself in xx

Rehoming the three girls is the best option, they are the most time consuming and affection demanding, meaning that Theo and Cleo's situation would get more attention if they went. Theo and Cleo are 'low maintenence people haters' Rehoming them would not make things any easier.. if that makes sense, The girls would still demand the most time and attention.

fruitandnutcake
04-06-2012, 05:27 PM
as lilbun said, your baby will grow quickly and become more independent ( though maybe not less demanding :lol:) and things do get easier. I had a screamer with my first. Constant colic and intolerance to milk, and later diagnosed autistic. i agree, you could also have post natal depression ( I had it with my first child) and everything seems impossible. But I'm sure you will regret it if you give your buns away. I would also suggest fostering them out...If I was closer I would foster them for you, or if someone could do a bunny run, I'd happily foster them until you feel you either want to have them back or you are certain you want to rehome them.

Jemma&Theo
04-06-2012, 05:27 PM
It's completely natural and normal for baby to want to be with you constantly- you are her world and she is helpless without you at the moment but she will start to become more independent in a matter of months as she starts to learn that if she can't see you it doesn't mean you've gone forever and gradually you'll find she can amuse herself for longer (hark at me trying to sound like I know what I'm talking about lol). In a year or two you'll probably find she wants to be off getting into mischief and you'll be missing the cuddly, clingy baby stage!

Do you have a sling that you could carry her in whilst getting on with things? (the baby bjorn active one is good)
An absolute life-saver for me has been an electric swing. I can plonk my boy in his with a toy and he will swing away happily for ages while I get on with things. In fact I have two swings- one in the living room and a portable one that I can take into the garden whilst I am outside with the rabbits.

Would your husband be able to take any time off to give you a bit of a break?

Your bunnies are absolutely gorgeous and I would have them in a heartbeat if I could but the OH has threatened to evict me if I get any more (and he means it this time) xx

We ahve an electric swing but it doesnt really settle her however it works more than 4 weeks ago when she HATED it, We have the fisher price LUV U ZOO which vibrates aswell,

The other huuugggeee problem is that im back at work in october.... and I will have even less time, just when winter is approaching and the buns will need me more.

Jemma&Theo
04-06-2012, 05:32 PM
as lilbun said, your baby will grow quickly and become more independent ( though maybe not less demanding :lol:) and things do get easier. I had a screamer with my first. Constant colic and intolerance to milk, and later diagnosed autistic. i agree, you could also have post natal depression ( I had it with my first child) and everything seems impossible. But I'm sure you will regret it if you give your buns away. I would also suggest fostering them out...If I was closer I would foster them for you, or if someone could do a bunny run, I'd happily foster them until you feel you either want to have them back or you are certain you want to rehome them.

Thank you, maybe your right RE PND, I just feel like I am a shell with nothing anymore, no hobbies and no life, i wear pj's all day with my acne and constant period and realise what an unattractive prospect i must be to my husband.... if I was an outsider id say 'Stop bit**ing, you have a lovely husband and a beautiful baby and good health and life couldnt be much better' but that just doesnt seem to add up when I tell myself that.

I am certain they need rehoming, its either them or me... and im not joking. I just feel if some pressure is not relieved then il have to walk, I probably never would... but its becoming more attractive a prospect.

fruitandnutcake
04-06-2012, 05:43 PM
Thank you, maybe your right RE PND, I just feel like I am a shell with nothing anymore, no hobbies and no life, i wear pj's all day with my acne and constant period and realise what an unattractive prospect i must be to my husband.... if I was an outsider id say 'Stop bit**ing, you have a lovely husband and a beautiful baby and good health and life couldnt be much better' but that just doesnt seem to add up when I tell myself that.

I am certain they need rehoming, its either them or me... and im not joking. I just feel if some pressure is not relieved then il have to walk, I probably never would... but its becoming more attractive a prospect.

I think you should really see your doctor first just to get checked for PND...it is something that often gets overlooked, and if you do have it and are treated you may feel so much differently after. I suffer from depression, and I'm always the last to realise....but you really do sound like you have it and you really need to get some help first before you make any major decisions.

lilbun
04-06-2012, 05:45 PM
Thank you, maybe your right RE PND, I just feel like I am a shell with nothing anymore, no hobbies and no life, i wear pj's all day with my acne and constant period and realise what an unattractive prospect i must be to my husband.... if I was an outsider id say 'Stop bit**ing, you have a lovely husband and a beautiful baby and good health and life couldnt be much better' but that just doesnt seem to add up when I tell myself that.

I am certain they need rehoming, its either them or me... and im not joking. I just feel if some pressure is not relieved then il have to walk, I probably never would... but its becoming more attractive a prospect.

It sounds like you need to speak to someone about PND- I would do that asap and then see how you feel. If you still feel the same in a few weeks/months you can look into rehoming the buns if thats really what you want. In the meantime they have each other- it's not as if they are completely alone. Is their bond still ok?

Sarah
04-06-2012, 05:53 PM
My younger son cried a lot and I remember cleaning my guineas out at 2 a.m as that was the only time I had peace! I don't know if you have heard of cranial osteopathy but we paid for about 4 sessions for him and it really did work wonders. You obviously love your buns very much and I hope you find a solution. It does get easier!

Jemma&Theo
04-06-2012, 06:01 PM
My younger son cried a lot and I remember cleaning my guineas out at 2 a.m as that was the only time I had peace! I don't know if you have heard of cranial osteopathy but we paid for about 4 sessions for him and it really did work wonders. You obviously love your buns very much and I hope you find a solution. It does get easier!

Hi,

yeah i think i shall go to see a doctor. I havent heard of that cranial osteopathy but il google it now!

I keep thinking that im not depressed and that im fine, and I think i was until i tried to go back on the pill again... that can mess with your emotions though cant it.

lilbun
04-06-2012, 06:08 PM
Hi,

yeah i think i shall go to see a doctor. I havent heard of that cranial osteopathy but il google it now!

I keep thinking that im not depressed and that im fine, and I think i was until i tried to go back on the pill again... that can mess with your emotions though cant it.

It certainly can, and your hormone levels. It can't hurt to talk to someone. Your baby may even be crying because she's picking up on how you are feeling (clever little beggars aren't they!).
Good luck, I hope you are able to find a solution that you are happy with xx

Tamsin
04-06-2012, 06:18 PM
How about popping them into boarding for a month, that lets you see if it makes any difference and gives you time and space to decide if rehoming long term is the right option.

If you do decide to go ahead, please PM and request a post in the RiN section.

mini lop1
04-06-2012, 06:30 PM
soo sorry your struggling at the moment, think tamsins idea is a good one boarding htem for a while and see how things are in a month or soo, and you can also see your doc about pnd xxx

FudgeTort
04-06-2012, 06:37 PM
It's obvious you love your bunnies very much to make such a selfless decision.
However, I would argue that as long as they have their basic needs met every day, have good accommodation and each other for company, then they will be happy, even with less human attention.
As others have said, your baby is still very young and things will get better.

However, if rehoming them is the right thing for you then I'm sure you'll find them a lovely place through the forum.

Jemma&Theo
04-06-2012, 06:41 PM
It's obvious you love your bunnies very much to make such a selfless decision.
However, I would argue that as long as they have their basic needs met every day, have good accommodation and each other for company, then they will be happy, even with less human attention.
As others have said, your baby is still very young and things will get better.

However, if rehoming them is the right thing for you then I'm sure you'll find them a lovely place through the forum.

thanks,

i guess your right i just feel guilty for not giving them time and love like i used to

Mirth
04-06-2012, 07:17 PM
Could you foster them out for a month or two rather then rehome or board them if you're not sure?

I think it's good you feel your rabbits need more time and attention and you feel you can't give it to them so rehomed them for their sake. It must have been hard to decide that. :(

Kit06
04-06-2012, 07:31 PM
I agree, if you could find someone to foster them for a while it could really help.

In a few months things may look different for you, babies change at an incredible rate and quickly become more independent, playing on their own and taking daytime naps (when you can get on top of jobs). At the moment I bet it feels like your life will never be your own again and you never get a seconds peace but it does get easier. I juggled 2 little ones, a horse and other assorted animals and in the early months wandered round like a zombie but it must have got better else I'd never have had the second child!

As you obviously love your buns very much finding someone to take the pressure off for a short while could be the answer and you could think about rehoming permanently if you still felt unable to meet their needs after you've had the break. Also, I agree with what others have said, if the buns are clean, fed and watered they'll probably be happy in their own company so don't beat yourself up if they're not getting as much snuggle time as they used to.

SarahP
04-06-2012, 07:34 PM
Hi,

yeah i think i shall go to see a doctor. I havent heard of that cranial osteopathy but il google it now!

I keep thinking that im not depressed and that im fine, and I think i was until i tried to go back on the pill again... that can mess with your emotions though cant it.

You do sound incredibly depressed. The pill can most definitely do that - I can't take anything hormonal as it turns me into a crazy!

I know you don't think you're making a hasty decision, but agree with everyone else. Thinking of you x

molly35
04-06-2012, 08:00 PM
Been there bought the t-shirt. My son didnt sleep through the night till 5 months old. I felt as though I was going to crack up as I had no help and felt it was a constant struggle. He is now 4 and yes he still needs a lot of attention but nowhere near what they do as babies, it does get better (slightly lol) though it doesnt feel like it at the time. If you were nearer I would have boarded them for a month or two till you sorted yourself out, cause I know at the minute you will feel overwhelmed.

Jemma&Theo
04-06-2012, 08:09 PM
Ok yeah. il think about boarding... anyone willing / able ?

SisterMoonbeam
04-06-2012, 08:28 PM
Do you have 'PetPals' in your area?

You could have someone come round for an hour perhaps twice a week and spend some extra time with the bunnies to give them a bit more attention while you are understandably preoccupied at the moment?

They are a 'pet sitting' service but I am sure they will not object to visiting while you are at home too

http://www.petpals.com/

martlou
04-06-2012, 08:41 PM
Hope you manage to get something sorted soon, you sound at the end of your tether x

Pebblesetc
04-06-2012, 08:46 PM
I think boarding your buns for a month is a good idea. It will give you time to breathe. Please go and see your doctor about PND, and also ask if there is anyone you can talk to about handling infant temperaments. It sounds like your baby might be on the "difficult" (i hate that word but it's the technical term, I prefer spirited!) end of the temperamental spectrum. It's not a bad thing, there isn't really a temperament that is better than another, but spirited infants are certainly more challenging! It is important that you get support for yourself, and also support for you and baby so that you can minimize the frustration at both your end and baby's end.

Stator
04-06-2012, 08:59 PM
Just increase their run sizes so they can get more exercise unsupervised.

KateB
04-06-2012, 09:04 PM
Thank you, maybe your right RE PND, I just feel like I am a shell with nothing anymore, no hobbies and no life, i wear pj's all day with my acne and constant period and realise what an unattractive prospect i must be to my husband.... if I was an outsider id say 'Stop bit**ing, you have a lovely husband and a beautiful baby and good health and life couldnt be much better' but that just doesnt seem to add up when I tell myself that.

I am certain they need rehoming, its either them or me... and im not joking. I just feel if some pressure is not relieved then il have to walk, I probably never would... but its becoming more attractive a prospect.

Have you got a HomeStart near you? It's a charity that organise volunteers to help families - they'll help look after baby so you can get on with jobs (they don't do cleaning etc) and are there to provide a supportive ear. Our local one also ran a PND group counselling course which the Health Visitor refers you too which was really helpful.

Sorry - no new suggestions for the buns. And congratulations on your new arrival!

MotherPanda
04-06-2012, 09:16 PM
I Have a 10 month old baby, and the newborn days are still very fresh in my mind - PND is incredibly common and understanding and treatment is fantastic these days.

I agree that as your baby gets older, you may regret giving your bunnies up, so I would really recommend boarding or foster homes for them whilst you take some time out - then who knows, maybe you'll feel better and be able to take them home, or maybe you won't but at least you'll rehome them in a clearer state of mind (maybe with a bit more sleep behind you!).

I'm looking for bunnies at the moment, so would jump at the chance to foster/rehome a lovely bunny family if this is really what you want. Please PM me if I can help I am building a fantastic set up.

Keep posting, look after yourself.

Angie65
04-06-2012, 09:42 PM
I would be wary about offering money for someone to take your buns- unless it's to a rescue. Just cos it's a forum member doesn't guarantee its a good home.

Your buns are gorgeous though and I hope you sort something out

prettylupin
05-06-2012, 08:36 AM
Agree with everyone else, especially Lilbun and Fruitandnutcake :thumb: I had PND, I knew it AND saw my GP several times - which was fantastic. You need to find a nice female GP, preferrably one who has had kids too. Mine was fantastic. Did the PND Edinburgh depression score each time I went and discussed things I could do to make things easier - to be honest just talking to her helped immensely as did bursting in to tears and telling a professional how I was really feeling - very therapeutic. Despite the no. of times I cried with my incredibly supportive husband and family, this was different. I decided I didn't want antidepressants at first and managed ok without them, got back on track for a while, but then dipped again when my little one was about 6 months old. I'm on antidepressants now (specific ones for PND) and I can not tell you how much better I felt, almost instantly, like my old self again - I do not know why I put off treatment for so long! I wish I had taken them sooner. I was also offered counselling but am actually fine without that as I have a very good support network at home.
You don't have to be crying to have PND, but what you describe reminds me of how I felt - just bite the bullet and go and see someone. Having a baby is flipping hardwork, until you have a newborn you just don't realise, but even more so having a newborn who cries a lot. My son had colic from birth and it didn't disappear at 12 wks like it is supposed to. It wasn't until he started solids to slow down his gut and bulk it up that things got better - we weaned him very early indeed and it made all the difference. Unless you have a screaming colicky baby you just can't appreciate the exhausting, helplessness, it really is horrific.

That said, babies cry for all sorts of reasons but they are unable to differentiate at this age between complex emotions - it is very primitive. I hurt, I have fear, I am tired, I am hungry and that is about it. The brain that deals with complex emotion is not fully formed until they are 3 yrs of age atleast. I am telling you this because it is important to understand that your child is crying for a very good reason and that she needs you. She is not trying to train you or manipulate you - she does not have the brain yet to do so, it is basic infant need. However, when we, as mothers, are feeling anxious, upset, depressed etc it is very hard for us to meet these needs. Babies rely on us totally to regulate their emotions for them, this is how they learn to do it for themselves. If you can't regulate your own, let alone hers, then she is going to be all over the place if you like and feeling uncontained/insecure. This is why it is really important you get help for you first :) I have a strong feeling that if you do this, and I mean this holistically - see if you can get family/friends to give you some extra support - practical and emotional, you will feel more together and then so will your beautiful baby, and I suspect she will cry less as a result.

I can promise you it DOES get easier. I never thought those early weeks/months would end - it was like an impossible mountain to climb that never ended. My little boy is 16 months old today and although extremely demanding in every sense I cope so well now, I am me again, and life it so much easier, he walks, entertains himself, plays on his own etc, there are no more bottles/boobs/baby food etc.... it all changes I promise. For the first few months of his life I hardly ever saw my bunnies (and they are houserabbits!). My husband took over their care totally. Then, when I felt like it and had the energy, I would go and be with them, clean them out, spend time fussing over their hutch/toys etc like i used to and it was really nice, a treat. As things got easier with the baby I would spend more and more time looking after them again and eventually learnt to timetable it into the day - whenever there was opportunity. I now pretty much look after Poppy and our boy, my husband helps or does it when I can't find time. When you have a difficult baby it is just more than you can cope with, and rightly so, you need to focus your energy on you and your little one. I think that boarding or fostering is an excellent idea, just until you find your feet - and you will, I promise, it does get easier. Hugs xx

MotherPanda
05-06-2012, 08:44 AM
Prettylupin - that was a fantastic post!