getting it off my chest

It was a long long time ago but.....


when I was 9-10 I had guinea pigs me and my sister bought one each from a breeder.... I feel very guilty about this now.... but didnt know about all these terrible things back then...

I bought a book which was full of misinformation which I didnt know at the time and we didnt have the internet.... so they were fed on a terrible diet....They didnt have enough space....

to top it off they were pregnant when we bought them we didnt know this till a few weeks later and they were incredibly young....... this makes me incredibly sad now... I didnt realise how bad this was for them to let it happen back then...

So they had three babies each but heres the awful part... we still kept them all in the same cage my aunt was friends with the breeder and so under their advice we didnt contact a vet and we kept the mothers in the same cage while they gave birth.... I feel sick typing this.....

they had the babies and when they were old enough we separated the boys and the girls thankfully all had survived....

as they grew we extended their living space giving them a run....

I ended up in hospital for a month mum came with me so did my sister and dad went to work then stayed at the hospital to at the family wing and so our neihbour looked after the piggies.....

she didnt clean them out enough but didnt tell us and cleaned them the day before we came home.

I later found out it had twice got to the point where maggots were crawling in their bedding before she changed it... if i had known this I would have taken them to the vets but she didnt say

few weeks later two of the piggies died they were under a year old.....

the vets quoted £120 to see the remaining 5 piggies so mum said it would have to wait 2 days for her to get the money together as she didn't havent it....

I got very ill one of the nights and had a fever... my parents stayed up all night with me and in the morning we found a fox had got into the shed.... non of the piggies were found

I will always feel guilty about all this... how ignorant we all were bout the care of piggies... how we treated them, the things we should have done but didnt..... how its all my fault they suffered......

I was kept awake last night remembering all this.... I had to get it off my chest.... I am the worst person ever...

We all do things when we are younger we regret.

Personally when I was around 11 a neighbour had GPs and I wanted one so my parents got me one and we put it with our unneutuered male rabbit who attacked it and bit it's ear off....sad but he GP went to a better home.

I personally think the mistakes you make when you are younger help you in the future from learning from my mistakes before I now know my 2 are as happy as they could be and hopefully more in the future will be happy.

I'm sure your mistakes have helped you with your little ones now

I agree with the above post, we all did things when we was younger, because we didn't know any better. What counts is what you have learned and how you treat your animals now. Don't tear yourself up over it. Big hugs to you xxx

thanks guys... its something that has upset me for a while how much suffering they must have been through because of my ignorance and because i was so young

Totally agree with the replies so far. :thumb:

I would think that the majority of people can look back and find things that they didn't do right, but at the time they knew no better. Try not to dwell on what happened. It is difficult when we are children as the decisions regarding pets can be very much out of our hands. You have learnt from this bad experience and it has made you a better pet owner.

I dont know why but last night it just came back to me really strongly..... it was awful and kept me up all night and this morning i just felt horrible...

So this is me apologising to poor molly, polly, montey, mottey, faith, hope, caramel and truffle sweet dreams

I wrote a poem for them last night I know its pathetic.... and the poem is really bad but it made me feel better, kind of felt like i did something nice for them >_<

little-laura said:

I wrote a poem for them last night I know its pathetic.... and the poem is really bad but it made me feel better, kind of felt like i did something nice for them >_<

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That isn't pathetic at all, I think it is lovely, do you want to share it? xxx

sally1974 said:

That isn't pathetic at all, I think it is lovely, do you want to share it? xxx

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I feel I should because its like putting myself out there for them... I am not very good at poetry >_<



I stood unknowing, young and strayed
For that you suffered, struggled and paid
Now I stand wiser, knowing and aged
To tell you I’m sorry, it’s you I betrayed

But here is my promise to you all
Never will an animal suffer, big or small
At my hands, in my care, not for null
Never again will an innocent fall

Ignorance will no longer be an excuse
Educate myself I and put it to use
A safe and loving home without abuse
A promise bound in knots never loose

So scurry free in fields of hay
Maybe we’ll meet again someday
Live with you in my heart come what may
You are free from pain and happy now, they say

I Whisper your names on the wind
Molly, Polly, Montey, Mottey, toffee, caramel, hope and faith.


now im embarassed

you should not feel guilty,you were a child and you were in hospital,your Mum would have taken them to the vet once she had the money,as your are still thinking about this now means that you are a good,kind and caring person

Lovely poem laura

Laura that is a really lovely poem

jackiestone said:

you should not feel guilty,you were a child and you were in hospital,your Mum would have taken them to the vet once she had the money,as your are still thinking about this now means that you are a good,kind and caring person

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Thank you I am trying not to feel so bad about this, you guys have helped a lot xxxx

sally1974 said:

Laura that is a really lovely poem

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Amy & Amber said:

Lovely poem laura

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thank you >_< I get very embarrassed about my poetry as I dont feel I am good at it, this was about the piggies so I wanted to do a good job of it at least....

As a child, i had two rabbits, about 5 years or so apart i think it was. You can find their story in Rainbow Bridge, Fluffy & Frisky.

Fluffy was a little blue and white dutchie. He lived in a 3ft hutch, and got occasional 'free-range' time in our back garden. He wasn't neutered, nobody neutered back then. He was fed unlimited muesli, and had no hay, only straw. Nobody told you otherwise back then.

During one of his free-range times, we caught him eating Foxglove. I'll never know why, as since then, i've learnt rabbits wont touch it. No idea why he did.

He died the following day.

Frisky, was a little doe. She was gorgeous (There's a pic of her in RB) she looked like an uppy eared female version of Biscuit. She wasn't spayed, she never had hay, and was fed unlimited muesli. She died of some kind of fit, i dont know what from, nobody could tell me. She was again kept in a 3ft hutch, "with a sleeping compartment and a run area" - with occasional running around the dining room time when i cleaned her out for 30 minutes.

I didnt know any better. Nobody did. That's just how it was.

I could sit here and blame myself for both their deaths, but they weren't my fault. I was only little. My parents knew no better, nobody did.

What i'm trying to get at is, this isn't your fault Laura. It really isn't. The important part, is that you learnt from it, and bettered the lives of the animals you have since had. If you hadn't learnt from it and acted upon an improved knowledge, it would be a different story, but you did.

It's okay to grieve about what happened, thats perfectly natural, but do your best and be kind to yourself.

Hugs.

Awww don't feel bad. We all have stories like this.

I had a rabbit when I was younger and he ate muesli, was never neutered, never had a friend, he lived outside on his own. For about two years he didn't even come out of the hutch as I couldn't catch him in the garden and feared picking him up as he struggled. My dad eventually made him a run so life got a bit better for him later in his life.

He lived until he was 7, and then began to get absesses all the time. He died of what we think was old age but we won't ever know.

I look at my two buns now and all the knowledge that I have collected about them and I do feel bad for poor little THumper, that he didn't have as good a life as my two do now. But he was loved, I did spend a lot of time with him and he wasn't nasty at all.

But I do sometimes feel guilty that I didn't have the knowledge or maturity (as I was young) to be able to care for him properly!

Don't feel bad! XXX

GrahamL said:

As a child, i had two rabbits, about 5 years or so apart i think it was. You can find their story in Rainbow Bridge, Fluffy & Frisky.

Fluffy was a little blue and white dutchie. He lived in a 3ft hutch, and got occasional 'free-range' time in our back garden. He wasn't neutered, nobody neutered back then. He was fed unlimited muesli, and had no hay, only straw. Nobody told you otherwise back then.

During one of his free-range times, we caught him eating Foxglove. I'll never know why, as since then, i've learnt rabbits wont touch it. No idea why he did.

He died the following day.

Frisky, was a little doe. She was gorgeous (There's a pic of her in RB) she looked like an uppy eared female version of Biscuit. She wasn't spayed, she never had hay, and was fed unlimited muesli. She died of some kind of fit, i dont know what from, nobody could tell me. She was again kept in a 3ft hutch, "with a sleeping compartment and a run area" - with occasional running around the dining room time when i cleaned her out for 30 minutes.

I didnt know any better. Nobody did. That's just how it was.

I could sit here and blame myself for both their deaths, but they weren't my fault. I was only little. My parents knew no better, nobody did.

What i'm trying to get at is, this isn't your fault Laura. It really isn't. The important part, is that you learnt from it, and bettered the lives of the animals you have since had. If you hadn't learnt from it and acted upon an improved knowledge, it would be a different story, but you did.

It's okay to grieve about what happened, thats perfectly natural, but do your best and be kind to yourself.

Hugs.

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thank you I think i needed hear that... your story has helped thank you

I know not as much was known as is now and information wasnt as accessible, I have random feelings like this a few times a year over them and i think this and all your stories and posts has helped, this is the first time I have really talked about it since and publicly talked about it so it might make me move on better I know that sounds so bizarre to say after all it has been 14/15 years but its something I buried and have felt guilty about all that time which sounds so silly dsnt it....

I would feel silly talking about this anywhere else where people would laugh and say something like they were only guinea pigs or pets etc... or get over it or think I am being pathetic... but you guys are awesome and lovely so I thought and was right that I could share it with you


thank you so much everyone

little-laura said:

thank you I think i needed tell that... your story has helped thank you

I know not as much was known as is now and information wasnt as accessible, I have random feelings like this a few times a year over them and i think this and all your stories and posts has helped, this is the first time I have really talked about it since and publicly talked about it so it might make me move on better I know that sounds so bizarre to say after all it has been 14/15 years but its something I buried and have felt guilty about all that time which sounds so silly dsnt it....

I would feel silly talking about this anywhere else where people would laugh and say something like they were only guinea pigs or pets etc... or get over it or think I am being pathetic... but you guys are awesome and lovely so I thought and was right that I could share it with you


thank you so much everyone

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That's perfectly natural too. I think about my old pets frequently. That won't probably ever change for you, but to come to terms with it is what is important, to get past that feeling of 'doing something wrong' and getting to the point of 'i did what i could at the time, but i can do better now' - that's their legacy, that you learnt. Use it in their memory

*Sit up and hold paws up to Laura*

We finks you iz a bunderful person Aunty laura. We duz wish that our owners before our new mummeh rescued us cudz have been as kind as you. We duz wish all bunnehs and all animal had kind mummehs like you is!

*Gives Laura lots of loving bunny kisses* xxxxxxxxxx

awww im sorry to hear this, but you where only a child, you where not at fault

Benjamin&Little-Marge said:

*Sit up and hold paws up to Laura*

We finks you iz a bunderful person Aunty laura. We duz wish that our owners before our new mummeh rescued us cudz have been as kind as you. We duz wish all bunnehs and all animal had kind mummehs like you is!

*Gives Laura lots of loving bunny kisses* xxxxxxxxxx

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awww thankies *nose rubs buns*

mini lop1 said:

awww im sorry to hear this, but you where only a child, you where not at fault

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^_^ thank you, thanks to everyone on here I have started to feel less evil and that its all my fault doom and gloom hopefully I will now start to forgive myself