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what should i do about widowed bluebell?

purplebumble

Warren Veteran
Ive had grief stricken buns before....and i hate to say it but getting a partner or rebonding to a previous partner has been the only saving of those buns.
But Bluebells a typical territorial doe....and a bully to the cats...but she is also a pretty scared girlie putting on a brave face...just like my bridge girlie bif was. Without Bertie she has no one to comfort her...no one to keep her safe..no one to snuggle with and keep warm..no one to wash her and no one to wash back.

we were hoping all our attention would be enough..if she let the cats close by then theyd snuggle ehr and wash her..little freya has always adored her and sneakily washed her feet and ears when she was dozing.and bluebell used to think it was bertie. freya and dylan are addicted to washing bunnys..and snuggling them...they do not know bunnys do not like cats all the time...tell that to a purring over affectionate cat who loves bunnys!

i understand i think her hatred of the cats is partially territorial and partially from fear..maybe an experience with a passing cat through the garden at the rescue..anyhting like that becasue ehr sister was exactly the same.

Now we have trouble comforting her and her eyes are so sad and shes so nervy and lost..shes only eating a teeny bit of treats and some fresh herbs..odd bits of hay its why shes still pooping so far touch wood.

Do i persevere as is...or do i contact either southampton rabbit rescue or the cat and rabbit rescue in sidlesham and ask if theyve got big bunnys in and take bluebell along...or do you think its too soon?

every grieving bunny reacts differently that weve had..but theyve always ended up bein a pair again.

cannot try bonding lily..shes territorial..mad as a march hare....and 5 or 6..elderly bunnyhood about to start..if it worked and she were to die of age related probs,....
Merlin and phoebe are to be rebonded...merlins terrified of bluebell...but used to enjoy waving his tail in her face when we all lived in the lounge when nikki broke her foot and ankle:oops:

i swept up the fresh hay and litter tray stuff before going for that nap that horrible night. when i came down to medicate bertie..id take the bag out too. Well he was dead....and she knew......but ever since hes died she will only eat hay from that bag...she sits in it...she snuggles the bag...i cannot even touch it she goes nuts. Its so sad..good job im all cried out.

please help...seeing as shes a frenchie..other bun would have to be at least a frenchie size...but NOT a REW.....because Bertie was:cry:
 
I would maybe first off try and get to the bottom of her behaviour. There was an article in the latest Rabbiting On about aggressive rabbits. I wonder if anyone on here has any tips? If she could change even a little bit it would help and make her a happier bun. Just a thought but have you had her hearing and eyesight tested? If she has a problem with either of these it might be setting her off.

After attempting to sort her aggression, as you can take on another bun, I would look at another Frenchie or Giant so that they can hold their own just in case she goes for them. I would definitely get the rescue to do the bonding first before bringing one home as Bluebell is so territorial.

Big (((((((((hugs))))))))))))) xxxx
 
Have you tried her in a 100% cat free zone ?

If she hates cats/ is terrified of them she wont ever be really happy if they are always in close proximity.

I think you need to think long and hard before taking on another Rabbit. You have so much to cope with at the moment and I am concerned that adding to your workload with another Rabbit might be too much for all of you.

Could you have a Rabbit Room where they can all have their individual enclosures, with separate time out for free ranging.

Whilst in general it is preferable for Rabbits to have a partner/partners, sometimes our circumstances mean that for the time being this is not possible.

My honest opinion is dont take on any more Rabbits, but look at how you might be able to change how your current Rabbits are accommodated. Maybe at a later date you will be in a better position to take on more, but for now I really would not do so.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do xx
 
Aaaw poor Bluebell.

Am trying to think what I would do if I had a rabbit who was terrified of my cats. I think I would have to move her into another room and keep that totally cat free (which is what I've done with the guinea-pig and hamster for obvious reasons).

I know that if you do that with Bluebell it would mean she is away from you and Nikki though and that would add to her distress.

Am happy to come over and give her some reiki if you think that may help. She has never bitten me (so far) and has always accepted treats from me.

If you do get another bun for her I think she will need to be put in another room away from the cats so that she isn't stressed before the bonding starts. If rescue can't bond I am happy to do it for you, shifts permitting. It would be a totally neutral space then away from cats (I bond in my bedroom which is a cat free zone, even though my buns are all fine with the cats).

Bluebell has been through so much with her sister dying and now Bertie leaving her. Do you think she may respond better to a young bun? Awaken her protective, mothering instinct. I think my bond with Frangipan is going so well because she is not yet fully grown and the other three are tolerant of her. My bonding with Furby and Faye was the easiest I have ever done and, again, Faye was a young bun, still quite small.

Just a thought.
 
In my house theres no cat safe zone or bunny safe zone...ive always had cats n buns together....never had a problem..except when our elderly cats we had at the time couldnt handle our over exuberant uppy eared bun...he got a paw slap on his head..so he climbed all over them even more:oops:

bluebells always :oops:had her nervy moments..usually with people...even me coming into the lounge talking to her as i switch the lamp on:( shes stopped the attacking me at last...phew!! Shes enjoyed nose rubs and even me getting on the floor and putting my nose on hers and fluffing up her cheeks..nosey rubs..ear massages etc.

Im wondering if that lump is beginning to bother her now....:? wasnt when the vet checked it earlier this year..or was it end of 2011...i have lost all conception of time:oops:

she does have a history of fever of unknown origin and loss of appetite..but not as bad as this:(

i dont want another bun....unless it is in her best interest. To be honest jane...i have no plans..just play it by ear.

karen hun yes i guess a younger bunny would make more sense...but bertie was such a gentle loving old soul..he was her comforter and snuggler..she needed that after losing her sister like she did.

she went through a phase well several phases of biting bertie..humping him despite his arthritis...i was going to split them up but bertie was so in love with her..and at heart..she was in love with him.

times a great healer..take it slowly. freya is now just watching bluebell from a distance...she realises shes not what blubell needs r wants right now.
 
In my house theres no cat safe zone or bunny safe zone...ive always had cats n buns together....never had a problem..except when our elderly cats we had at the time couldnt handle our over exuberant uppy eared bun...he got a paw slap on his head..so he climbed all over them even more:oops:

bluebells always :oops:had her nervy moments..usually with people...even me coming into the lounge talking to her as i switch the lamp on:( shes stopped the attacking me at last...phew!! Shes enjoyed nose rubs and even me getting on the floor and putting my nose on hers and fluffing up her cheeks..nosey rubs..ear massages etc.

Im wondering if that lump is beginning to bother her now....:? wasnt when the vet checked it earlier this year..or was it end of 2011...i have lost all conception of time:oops:

she does have a history of fever of unknown origin and loss of appetite..but not as bad as this:(

i dont want another bun....unless it is in her best interest. To be honest jane...i have no plans..just play it by ear.

karen hun yes i guess a younger bunny would make more sense...but bertie was such a gentle loving old soul..he was her comforter and snuggler..she needed that after losing her sister like she did.

she went through a phase well several phases of biting bertie..humping him despite his arthritis...i was going to split them up but bertie was so in love with her..and at heart..she was in love with him.

times a great healer..take it slowly. freya is now just watching bluebell from a distance...she realises shes not what blubell needs r wants right now.

Would it not even be possible to keep the Cats away from Bluebelle in the short term ? She cant really have a chance to totally relax if she is constantly on the look out for a Cat. Even if they are keeping their distance atm Bluebelle wont trust them to do so if she lets her guard down. This will mean that she will always have some degree of stress and as you know stress in Rabbits can manifest itself as aggression and even illness.

Obviously it is none of my business and you know all your Pets best. I am just trying to put another perspective on it from an outsider's point of view.
I see removing obvious stressors from Bluebelle's environment -ie removing the cats from her or her from the cats- as being what I would do. Whilst some Rabbits are fine with Cats, some just are not and never will be.
 
Would it not even be possible to keep the Cats away from Bluebelle in the short term ? She cant really have a chance to totally relax if she is constantly on the look out for a Cat. Even if they are keeping their distance atm Bluebelle wont trust them to do so if she lets her guard down. This will mean that she will always have some degree of stress and as you know stress in Rabbits can manifest itself as aggression and even illness.

Obviously it is none of my business and you know all your Pets best. I am just trying to put another perspective on it from an outsider's point of view.
I see removing obvious stressors from Bluebelle's environment -ie removing the cats from her or her from the cats- as being what I would do. Whilst some Rabbits are fine with Cats, some just are not and never will be.

I agree with Jane, Debbie, but having been to your home on numerous occasions I have no idea how you could achieve a cat free area for Bluebell unless she moved upstairs and then she would be on her own all day unless she went in Nikki's room and Nikki stayed with her. Would that be an option short term until Bluebell has got over some of her grief?

I think a lot, if not all, her aggression is fear. If you're a bunny who doesn't like cats it must be pretty scary to be surrounded by them - and yours are quite lively as they are young.

If you need any help to move things around, just yell. I'm free all day tomorrow.

I will carry on thinking about how to help Bluebell. Have a friend coming over shortly to try and help me take stuff to the tip and continue my de-cluttering of the chaos that is my house.
 
we have both cats and rabbits, some of which are happy to be in the same rooms. But our main bunny room is out of bounds to cats and if we have rabbits who are scared of cats then we acknowledge this and make sure they are kept completely separate, we would never force them to be in the same room if this wasn't what they wanted.

Fear aggression is awful for the bunny, we have rabbits who display this and we do everything we can to take away that stressor where possible. I just think it must be horrible to live a life constantly on guard and feeling you have to defend yourself :(

I hope you are able to sort something out for Bluebell to make her a happier bunny :)xx
 
The cats are just as terrified of her.

Perhaps i should rehome the bloomin lot...after all im being selfish..and yes i do realise that perhaps i am.

i guess its true what they say.....the truth hurts.

bluebell was ok with her foster mum who had cats...btw.

yes i wouldnt want to live in fear...but then i have days when i dont want to live..period.
 
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Debbie I hope you are feeling a bit better now. You are a great mommy to your animals and always do what you can for them. Please don't take peoples opinions/advice as criticism or judgement. Hope Bluebell is calmer tonight. I'm here if you need to chat. Darcy sends you bunny kisses xxxx
 
I don't see how you are being selfish. You are doing what you can for your pets. But to help your pets you have to help yourself too, so don't be so harsh on yourself. It's hard to think when you're grieving so people are only offering opinions. Of course we don't know your situation really, just what you say online. So it's hard to judge realistically.

My first thought would be for her to be bonded to a smaller rabbit. If she's fearful a smaller bun might bring out her mothering instinct and not be so intimidating.

But if having another bun isn't such a good idea is there any way you could dedicate a room to the rabbits which the cats are not allowed in? Have a few enclosures so the rabbits can see each other but not interact. Obviously I don't know your house so I don't know how possible that is.

I know my rabbits were scared of the cat, well it was Smoo really. She used to freak out when cats ran along the garden wall. I introduced the cat to them for a short time every few days and talked baby talk to them and gave them cuddles. They're not bothered with her now. But on the other hand one of my chinchillas has never got used to the cat and is constantly fearful when she's in the room. He just can't get used to her so I keep them separate most of the time and still let the cat in the room for a few minutes a day. Slowly, slowly he's getting used to her, but I have only been able to do it by keeping them separate and introducing them for a few minutes a day.
 
You're not selfish, Debbie. You care more for the welfare of your animals than you do for yourself. You are just unlucky that you have a bun who is scared of cats. I've got eight cats and eleven buns and they either love each other or tolerate each other. There is no fear or aggression at all. I, too, would struggle if a new bun was scared of the cats.

Have you tried a feliway plug in at all? I know they can help stressed cats so it may work for bunnies too.

If you do decide to find Bluebell a husbun I am more than happy to bond for you as I know you would find it difficult to find a neutral, cat-free, area. I always bond somewhere cat-free as I think being bonded is stressful enough for a bun without the added element of lurking felines.

Could Bluebell maybe be an outdoor bun? You have a big garden and the cats don't go outside. If you got her a friend they could live together in a hutch and run combination.

Just thoughts - it is a difficult one, knowing how your downstairs is quite open-plan.
 
Bluebell is NOT frightened of the cats...she is just so territorial she hates them. But shes actually a lot better than when bertie was alive. she was overprotective territorial and jealous even with us.She was the only one who he could love..a bit obssesed and very possessive.

Bluebell may have had a bad cat experience when she was younger..butit then turned to not liking cats.

shes happy if shes relaxed to let dylan share her bit of parsley cos shes not keen on it...let them lay on the floor dozing at the other end of the lounge.....even drink from the water bowl with her 4 inches away from it....dylan was chewing a strand of hay out of the litter tray and she was in the tray at the time and did the bunny flop. shes not scared of them....shes just miffed if shes not the boss of the house.
so why should i confine her to a life shutin a mouldy damp bedroom with a iron garden gate across the doorway cos its the only way of keeping her safe if you think thats what is needed. and i dont see why i should confine the cats in it instead of her either.
lily chases the cats out of my room just runs full tilt and they jump. but if theyre on the bed alseep she will quite happily get up there with them. Thats territorial too but lilys not scared of cats either...

As to making her an outdoor bun.....i have house rabbits for a reason..im uncontrollably epileptic with full seizures and blackouts..out of my skull on meds of various strenghts and 24hr carer to nikki.....sleep odd hours according to the needs of her and also myself when the fits occur. I have always been honest and upfront about why i could not keep up with outddor buns for those reasons....yes i know others work several jobs etc and still manage...but i cannot and dont see why i need to keep explaining and defending myself.

Bluebell is grieving very badly and today i had to ring the vet.....next stop..syringe feeds..Im giving her oral zantac and metaclop but she fights me so hard...this evening dose helped her produce 10 poops..that 14 today and not a bad size. The vet said its because shes nibbling hay..not lots but the odd nibble and its keeping her going. shes now refusing veggies and fruit..and her fave...fresh basil and wholemeal toast.

this girlies heartbroken..her fear is of the world in general...us mainly..and loud sounds outside like cars or bikes revving up etc. The cats have a new scratch post and she climbed it and kept kissing dylan with her nose. She was so proud of herself. freya hissed as she thought she was going to attack her but bluebell greeted her too. she actually sleeps out in the open more when the cats sleep downstairs.

i have made the descision that she does need a bunny..i am not someone who thinks of these things lightly and yes another bunny...BUT a bunny bonded to her living free downstairs..not seperate buns.
I have left a message with a rescue and they will let her choose her friend..so sex and size is what she wants..not what i think is best. They will also do bonding there. It will be least half hr taxi ride each way...but i think its in her best interests.

yep im over sensitive because im grieving so badly right now.....but also so mad because folks read she was scared and presumed i was saying she was scared of our cats! Shes scared of every noise outside and us..always was till bonded with bertie. I put her hatrded of cats down to perhaps a fearful experience before she came to us...but no..its territorial cos lily chases the cats unless the baby gates open.

sorry but so fed up right now..i think id better avoid here until i get myself sorted..if i ever do,
 
Bluebell is NOT frightened of the cats...she is just so territorial she hates them. But shes actually a lot better than when bertie was alive. she was overprotective territorial and jealous even with us.She was the only one who he could love..a bit obssesed and very possessive.

Bluebell may have had a bad cat experience when she was younger..butit then turned to not liking cats.

shes happy if shes relaxed to let dylan share her bit of parsley cos shes not keen on it...let them lay on the floor dozing at the other end of the lounge.....even drink from the water bowl with her 4 inches away from it....dylan was chewing a strand of hay out of the litter tray and she was in the tray at the time and did the bunny flop. shes not scared of them....shes just miffed if shes not the boss of the house.
so why should i confine her to a life shutin a mouldy damp bedroom with a iron garden gate across the doorway cos its the only way of keeping her safe if you think thats what is needed. and i dont see why i should confine the cats in it instead of her either.
lily chases the cats out of my room just runs full tilt and they jump. but if theyre on the bed alseep she will quite happily get up there with them. Thats territorial too but lilys not scared of cats either...

As to making her an outdoor bun.....i have house rabbits for a reason..im uncontrollably epileptic with full seizures and blackouts..out of my skull on meds of various strenghts and 24hr carer to nikki.....sleep odd hours according to the needs of her and also myself when the fits occur. I have always been honest and upfront about why i could not keep up with outddor buns for those reasons....yes i know others work several jobs etc and still manage...but i cannot and dont see why i need to keep explaining and defending myself.

Bluebell is grieving very badly and today i had to ring the vet.....next stop..syringe feeds..Im giving her oral zantac and metaclop but she fights me so hard...this evening dose helped her produce 10 poops..that 14 today and not a bad size. The vet said its because shes nibbling hay..not lots but the odd nibble and its keeping her going. shes now refusing veggies and fruit..and her fave...fresh basil and wholemeal toast.

this girlies heartbroken..her fear is of the world in general...us mainly..and loud sounds outside like cars or bikes revving up etc. The cats have a new scratch post and she climbed it and kept kissing dylan with her nose. She was so proud of herself. freya hissed as she thought she was going to attack her but bluebell greeted her too. she actually sleeps out in the open more when the cats sleep downstairs.

i have made the descision that she does need a bunny..i am not someone who thinks of these things lightly and yes another bunny...BUT a bunny bonded to her living free downstairs..not seperate buns.
I have left a message with a rescue and they will let her choose her friend..so sex and size is what she wants..not what i think is best. They will also do bonding there. It will be least half hr taxi ride each way...but i think its in her best interests.

yep im over sensitive because im grieving so badly right now.....but also so mad because folks read she was scared and presumed i was saying she was scared of our cats! Shes scared of every noise outside and us..always was till bonded with bertie. I put her hatrded of cats down to perhaps a fearful experience before she came to us...but no..its territorial cos lily chases the cats unless the baby gates open.

sorry but so fed up right now..i think id better avoid here until i get myself sorted..if i ever do,

When my BB was grieving he was self harming.I had no choice but to not only get another bun, but get her rather quick.
Thanks to some rather lovely members on here,Little Miss AKA Melba came down from Barnsley in YORKSHIRE to be bonded to my boy and blow me, best thing I ever did.
He threw himself under her chin for grooming!! He was thrilled to see another bunny!!
We were lucky, there was a small chance it wouldnt work but if your lass is gonna choose herself a friend, then have my blessing.xxxxx
 
purplebumble, just wanted to send you some virtual hugs. It sounds like you have a lot going on and have had a very difficult time but that you are putting the best interest of all your pets first. I hope that Bluebell can find a friend that she likes fast so she can be happy again.
 
Big (((((((hugs)))))))). I know how much you are going thru right now and you are doing your very best. I really hope the rescue bonding goes well and Bluebell finds her special bunny partner. Thats great you got her doing 14 good poops. Sending more nomming and pooping vibes xxx
 
Bluebell is NOT frightened of the cats...she is just so territorial she hates them. But shes actually a lot better than when bertie was alive. she was overprotective territorial and jealous even with us.She was the only one who he could love..a bit obssesed and very possessive.

Bluebell may have had a bad cat experience when she was younger..butit then turned to not liking cats.

shes happy if shes relaxed to let dylan share her bit of parsley cos shes not keen on it...let them lay on the floor dozing at the other end of the lounge.....even drink from the water bowl with her 4 inches away from it....dylan was chewing a strand of hay out of the litter tray and she was in the tray at the time and did the bunny flop. shes not scared of them....shes just miffed if shes not the boss of the house.
so why should i confine her to a life shutin a mouldy damp bedroom with a iron garden gate across the doorway cos its the only way of keeping her safe if you think thats what is needed. and i dont see why i should confine the cats in it instead of her either.
lily chases the cats out of my room just runs full tilt and they jump. but if theyre on the bed alseep she will quite happily get up there with them. Thats territorial too but lilys not scared of cats either...

As to making her an outdoor bun.....i have house rabbits for a reason..im uncontrollably epileptic with full seizures and blackouts..out of my skull on meds of various strenghts and 24hr carer to nikki.....sleep odd hours according to the needs of her and also myself when the fits occur. I have always been honest and upfront about why i could not keep up with outddor buns for those reasons....yes i know others work several jobs etc and still manage...but i cannot and dont see why i need to keep explaining and defending myself.

Bluebell is grieving very badly and today i had to ring the vet.....next stop..syringe feeds..Im giving her oral zantac and metaclop but she fights me so hard...this evening dose helped her produce 10 poops..that 14 today and not a bad size. The vet said its because shes nibbling hay..not lots but the odd nibble and its keeping her going. shes now refusing veggies and fruit..and her fave...fresh basil and wholemeal toast.

this girlies heartbroken..her fear is of the world in general...us mainly..and loud sounds outside like cars or bikes revving up etc. The cats have a new scratch post and she climbed it and kept kissing dylan with her nose. She was so proud of herself. freya hissed as she thought she was going to attack her but bluebell greeted her too. she actually sleeps out in the open more when the cats sleep downstairs.

i have made the descision that she does need a bunny..i am not someone who thinks of these things lightly and yes another bunny...BUT a bunny bonded to her living free downstairs..not seperate buns.
I have left a message with a rescue and they will let her choose her friend..so sex and size is what she wants..not what i think is best. They will also do bonding there. It will be least half hr taxi ride each way...but i think its in her best interests.

yep im over sensitive because im grieving so badly right now.....but also so mad because folks read she was scared and presumed i was saying she was scared of our cats! Shes scared of every noise outside and us..always was till bonded with bertie. I put her hatrded of cats down to perhaps a fearful experience before she came to us...but no..its territorial cos lily chases the cats unless the baby gates open.

sorry but so fed up right now..i think id better avoid here until i get myself sorted..if i ever do,

I'm sorry if my replies have upset you Debbie. You did ask 'what should I do about widowed bluebell?' and I responded with the only suggestions I could think of, except rehoming her which I didn't consider an option as I know it would destroy her. She has a wonderful home with you and Nikki.

I know your buns do go out in the garden in the summer which is why I thought a hutch and run combination may be an option.

I thought about what I would do if I had a bun that wasn't happy with the cats (for whatever reason) and they are the ideas I wrote down.

I wasn't intending to make you mad and was actually trying to help by offering to bond for you.

:cry::cry:
 
Thank you. xx
karen hun....ive texted you:wave:

im calmer now....but have to say...i am definately going to get bluebell a friend...shes no better...and its so sad....bif was like this when oscar died...bertie saved her life.....now after all the buns its bertie whos gone and now bluebell needs to be saved.

if it all goes pear shaped...then it goes pear shaped and i will be the first to admit i was wrong.

but right now if you were to come see bluebell...karen shes even worse than you saw her that night..and next day. Romy hun..even the lovely tasty stuffs you sent her are no interest to her.

she ate a teaspoon of pellets yesterday..but only after i put aay his bowls and used the ceramic dog bowls. she ate some basil yesterday and this morning...but some herbs here and there and nibbles of hay is not ideal right...she ate some pellets at an earlier stage then hasnt touched them...and has refused them today too.
Sometimes the only help is to get a friend to heal a broken heart..shes missing the grooming and the snuggles :(
 
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