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If one of a bonded pair passes away.. do you

littleboots

Mama Doe
Show them their departed partner :(
Sorry for the doom and gloom... but just interested in opinions.
Its something Ive not really done but after losing Treacle the other week, I let Sophie see him.
It was awful, she tried to climb in the bed and lay on him :( she was beside herself :(
Its the first time Ive done this and dont know if I would ever do it again as Sophie grieved more than any rabbit Ive ever had and even ended up poorly :(
What do you do?
 
I show them unless there is a reason not to (like a potentiall contagious issue that the other rabbit has not been exposed to).

Its been clear with my bunnies that showing them helps them understand and move forwards. They will be sad but a least the bunny won't think their partner has disappeared and will be waiting for them.
 
i let rosie see mowgl and she just accepted it straight away looked at him then hopped away, and when rose was pts, locksley lcked her head then immediately left her and sat with me :( mabel was with locks when he went :(
 
I did with my two. I felt like I really had to when Barney died, because Amber was very, very distressed with him 'missing'... She was throwing anything she could sink her teeth into around the run, and not in a happy, destructive bunny sort of way. It was heartbreaking to watch her because everything she was doing seemed to show just how confused and worried she was. She was initially frightened of his body, and went off to sit in a corner stamping. She didn't seem so angry afterwards, but she was very subdued for weeks and weeks... Since then I've tried her with both my single boys, and she'd be willing to get along with either but they're both ungentlemanly and lunge at her fuzzy face!

I showed Bella her mother's body, too.. But Bella's a bit dippy. And chubby. She never seemed too fussed at losing her mum/buddy. Just meant more food for her! She was scrambling over the body to try and nose at me looking for treats. x_x;

I think I'd always show the body to the remaining rabbit(s) though. I think amber at least would have otherwise suspected me of hiding him from her forever. She was always very jealous of Barney and I! :p
 
Thanks guys.... just felt I had made the wrong decision... seeing how she acted.

You made the best decision you could based on the info you had. It might be that had you not shown her his body, that she would have waited and waited and wasted away either doing that or given up if she got to a point where she thought he wasn't coming back. It's an unknown.

I tihnk you made the best decision for her and sadly yes, they can and do grieve greatly, but it could have been a lot worse had she not understood where he had gone.
 
I always give a bereaved Rabbit the chance to say goodbye.

I gauge each case on it's own merit.

This is Eddie saying farewell to Lizzie, he spent about an hour grooming her


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but eventually he seemed to understand that she had gone :cry: :cry: The turning his back preceded him hopping away

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I show them unless there is a reason not to (like a potentiall contagious issue that the other rabbit has not been exposed to).

Its been clear with my bunnies that showing them helps them understand and move forwards. They will be sad but a least the bunny won't think their partner has disappeared and will be waiting for them.

This ^

I let Timmy spend a good few hours with Tillys body when she died. First thing he did was groom her, and then he lay down next to her and rested his head on the floor. Broke my heart into a million pieces :cry::cry::cry: I think it helped him understand that she was gone though. He was very sad and subdued afterwards, but atleast he wasnt frantically looking around for her :cry:

The turning point for him was when we adopted Mimi to be his new companion :love:
 
I did this with my bun when he passed away, he was part of a group of 8. The others almost formed a line to come and wash him, it was most bizzare to watch but I also think it helped them to understand no matter how hard it was for us.
 
Maybe I did the right thing after all.. it was just so heartbreaking to see. And I felt it was my fault Sophie got poorly after that, but she was obviously just grieving like the rest of us :(
 
You've done the right thing.

I've always let the remaining bunny see their departed friend. They've usually sniffed them and nudged them and then after a few minutes turned around and hopped off.

It is heartbreaking for us and them.:cry:
 
Yes, I always give the grieving rabbit/cat chance to spend time with one who has died. Didn't used to (in fact I didn't even think of it). I've always wanted the opportunity to spend time with them (and convince myself that the beloved pet has actually 'gone') and it then occurred to me that if I felt like that, the remaining pets probably did, too. I feel it is the right thing to do.
 
I put Hera back in the shed with Ra, and it makes me howl still:(

Ra spend ages washing her face and snuggling up to her - I think it took him a while to realise she wasn't "there" anymore.

After three hours - he was still lying next to her - I had to open up the top part of the shed that I'd had to stop their access to, to give him a distraction to move away.

I'd never seen a bunny grieve before, but believe thats its incredibly important for them to see their lost partner.
 
I'm going to be controversial. I didn't let Tomee see Bea when she had died, I toyed with the idea for ages but in the end I decided not to. I don't regret it, I think it was the best decision for me personally. I think he already knew as he had seen her colapse. And he's not been depressed or tried to look for her, he's been his normal self (so far, anyway).
 
When we had to have Orlando pts, Lilly groomed him all night, she groomed around his eyes that much that he bled. We covered his eyes up but she was so upset that she pulled the blanket off and continued to groom. It was heartbreaking to see. But she knew that he was going to heaven.
I think it would have been alot worse if she had not be able to say her goodbyes.
 
Thanks for all your personal experiences.... it really helps me to realise I did the right thing.. even though I vowed I would never do it again at the time :(
Im still traumatised by the whole experience and its good to know others have been through the same.
Sophie and Treacle lived in a shed and I couldnt bare the thought of her being alone.... so brought her in.. where I could spend more time with her and keep an eye on her.
She now has a little dutch boy living next to her, who initially she hated, as I think it was too soon and she was grieving too much :( Thankfully, she is now taking interest in him and wants to be with him...
Ive just never had one who has grieved so much.... usually after a day or so.... they move on... not Sophie :(
 
Bluebell passed when I was at work :cry: so Willow was with him. She is grieveing but she isn't distressed and searching for him like I've seen when I've had buns pts at the vets and they've not had chance to say goodbye. She understands he's not coming back.
 
I show them, I hate to see them sad but I feel they need to know where their partner has gone. I'm so sorry you lost Treacle xx
 
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