furryfurryfriends
Alpha Buck
i havn't been on here for ages, or posted anything.
but ive been getting back into it the past few days.
i had high hopes for 2012, i was going to sort my life out. and make something of myself.
it was going to be a good year for me.
but instead, its the worst year of my life.
on january 20th after weeks off illness, about 20 blood tests, scans and x-rays.. my dad got diagnosed with cancer.
i spent every second i could at the hospital watching him slowley diteriorate.
until sunday the 29th of january at 5am when he passed away.
9 days.
9 days, from finding out he had cancer to him passing.
started in his lungs, spread to his liver, up into his bones in his back and finally into his brain.
how do you even come to terms with your dad having cancer in 9days, let alone say goodbye to him.
my dad was an amazing man, truley selfless and inspirational in every way.
it doesn't quite seem real yet, i mean i know hes gone, i said goodbye... but i still keep expecting him to walk in the door.
the funeral is on friday the 10th of feb.
maybe it will seem real then.
i have to keep reminding myself of all the memories we did share, of all the things he did see and i got to share with him, and sling to the fact hes not in pain anymore.
but it's hard, im constantly thinking of everything he wont be around for, for every life changing moment where a girl needs her daddy.
he wont watch me grow up into a women,
he wont see my do something with my life and get the dream job he so desperatly wanted for me.
he wont walk me down the isle, or hold his grandkids in his arms.
and then just stupid things that i used to take for granted like eating dinner round the table, watching corrie on the telle.
i would give my life to spend just one more day with him.
but i promied him id be strong for my mum, mentally and financially.
and i told him i would make him proud.
i miss you dad, more than words can describe.
but ive been getting back into it the past few days.
i had high hopes for 2012, i was going to sort my life out. and make something of myself.
it was going to be a good year for me.
but instead, its the worst year of my life.
on january 20th after weeks off illness, about 20 blood tests, scans and x-rays.. my dad got diagnosed with cancer.
i spent every second i could at the hospital watching him slowley diteriorate.
until sunday the 29th of january at 5am when he passed away.
9 days.
9 days, from finding out he had cancer to him passing.
started in his lungs, spread to his liver, up into his bones in his back and finally into his brain.
how do you even come to terms with your dad having cancer in 9days, let alone say goodbye to him.
my dad was an amazing man, truley selfless and inspirational in every way.
it doesn't quite seem real yet, i mean i know hes gone, i said goodbye... but i still keep expecting him to walk in the door.
the funeral is on friday the 10th of feb.
maybe it will seem real then.
i have to keep reminding myself of all the memories we did share, of all the things he did see and i got to share with him, and sling to the fact hes not in pain anymore.
but it's hard, im constantly thinking of everything he wont be around for, for every life changing moment where a girl needs her daddy.
he wont watch me grow up into a women,
he wont see my do something with my life and get the dream job he so desperatly wanted for me.
he wont walk me down the isle, or hold his grandkids in his arms.
and then just stupid things that i used to take for granted like eating dinner round the table, watching corrie on the telle.
i would give my life to spend just one more day with him.
but i promied him id be strong for my mum, mentally and financially.
and i told him i would make him proud.
i miss you dad, more than words can describe.
I am so sorry. Your post almost had me in tears, I can't imagine what you must be going through. 
