Storm has decided that as it is a new year, he will have a new career. He can no longer afford to sit around eating and sleeping all day. No, he has now decided he will be a film critic. It seems easy enough, you sit around watching films and getting paid for it. Here is his first attempt on ‘The Artist’.
Of course, it comes as no surprise that the new silent film ‘The Artist’ has been nominated for 12 Bafta’s. I think this sort of film is well overdue. We’ve had too many noisy films with hoomins running around shooting at things. Now we have a full length film when the hoomins are silent. I’d give it an award just for that.
Sadly, the casting of the main roles was fatally flawed. Well I’d make it fatal anyway. The hoomins are moderately okay. I mean, they are only hoomins with their natural limitations, they did a fair job bearing in mind they didn’t have to learn any lines and didn’t even have to dress up in colour. But it is the casting of that mutt that reduced what could have been a great film into one that is clearly lagomorphically challenged. One can only assume the casting director choose a dog because he knew even the worst bun actor would outshine the hoomins. I mean think of all the bun actors that have been overlooked. There was Daniel Buncliffe who had the starring role in the top grossing film of 2011 – ‘Rabbit Potter and the Deathly Burrows’. And how about the bun actors from ‘Transformers: Dark Side of the Hutch’ featuring Shia LaBun and Josh Bunamel? When they discovered an alien technology had been made to enslave hoomins they left well alone and back to the shed in time for tea. Any of them would have been preferable to that flea ridden dog!
Oh well, 5 out of 10 to the hoomins. Next time we want the same amount of silence with much more bun. I’m nominating the film for ‘best dialogue’ and that’s it.
Of course, it comes as no surprise that the new silent film ‘The Artist’ has been nominated for 12 Bafta’s. I think this sort of film is well overdue. We’ve had too many noisy films with hoomins running around shooting at things. Now we have a full length film when the hoomins are silent. I’d give it an award just for that.
Sadly, the casting of the main roles was fatally flawed. Well I’d make it fatal anyway. The hoomins are moderately okay. I mean, they are only hoomins with their natural limitations, they did a fair job bearing in mind they didn’t have to learn any lines and didn’t even have to dress up in colour. But it is the casting of that mutt that reduced what could have been a great film into one that is clearly lagomorphically challenged. One can only assume the casting director choose a dog because he knew even the worst bun actor would outshine the hoomins. I mean think of all the bun actors that have been overlooked. There was Daniel Buncliffe who had the starring role in the top grossing film of 2011 – ‘Rabbit Potter and the Deathly Burrows’. And how about the bun actors from ‘Transformers: Dark Side of the Hutch’ featuring Shia LaBun and Josh Bunamel? When they discovered an alien technology had been made to enslave hoomins they left well alone and back to the shed in time for tea. Any of them would have been preferable to that flea ridden dog!
Oh well, 5 out of 10 to the hoomins. Next time we want the same amount of silence with much more bun. I’m nominating the film for ‘best dialogue’ and that’s it.
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