Traumatic experiences involving rabbits

Have you ever been in a situation where you have struggled with long lasting effects of something you have seen or done or been involved in related to rabbits? (or other animals I guess).

How did it affect you?

(sorry if that's a difficult question, don't feel you have to answer if you don't want to).

Not sure if this is the kind of thing you mean but I found it (and still do) very difficult when two of mine were taken by a fox....it nibbled them then left them, so I arived home to find them mutilated....I can see that image so clearly in my mind, it comes back uncontrollably at inopportune moments and makes me very panicky and distressed. Once it's there I can't seem to get rid of it. That was three years ago.

Have much the same effect from when I saw Poppy die (I didn't know she was ill and she deteriotated very sudenly, screaming and spasming in my arms.) I can still see that too.

Wre you wanting something more constructive :? I don't have any wisdom on how to deal with it I'm afraid.

Gosh, I'm so sorry. Yes, that's sort of exactly what I mean sadly. 'Flashbacks' are what I'm also struggling with so you have my total sympathy.

I don't think I was looking for any constructive, maybe just not being alone? Or maybe just that it's not stupid?

Hearing other people's experiences is somewhat bittersweet. 'Bitter' in the sense that you wouldn't wish that on anyone, but 'sweet' in that you're not alone with it, if you get what I mean.

*squishes*

Nothing really (as yet - fingers crossed) apart from the vet vaccinating my poorly Benny (I didn't ask for this) and then he died shortly after as he was too frail to take it - it was before I knew as much as I do - that still haunts me. I can understand how 'easy' accidents can occur as you have to be so so careful all the time with buns - when they're running round your feet (stepping on them) high winds ( not securing things and bricks blowing off and things hitting them, doors slamming and trapping buns) it's a constant battle sometimes in dodgy weather especially and you have to keep your mind focussed all the time on where buns are, what they're doing, if they can climb up and get out of somewhere or get stuck on things - wow!! It's tough but I am sure we all do our very best! :wave::wave:

Sky-O said:

Gosh, I'm so sorry. Yes, that's sort of exactly what I mean sadly. 'Flashbacks' are what I'm also struggling with so you have my total sympathy.

I don't think I was looking for any constructive, maybe just not being alone? Or maybe just that it's not stupid?

Hearing other people's experiences is somewhat bittersweet. 'Bitter' in the sense that you wouldn't wish that on anyone, but 'sweet' in that you're not alone with it, if you get what I mean.

*squishes*

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Not stupid at all...just one of those things that life visits on us I don't know why the mind does it, it doesn't seem useful. Hope you're ok xx

Seeing Mable die completly destroyed me... I couldn't look at photos of her for well over a year without crying.
Watching my tiny baby girl died in my arms was just devestating

I still struggle very much with how Scrabble died. Nothing like as traumatic as Clutterydrawer's experience, that's about the worst imaginable to me.

Scrabble was one of the first three rabbits I had and felt I had a very close bond with her from buying her at 8 weeks old. I didn't have her spayed because when I booked a consultation to discuss it when she was six months old the vet was ambivalent about it, I just didn't feel confident in going ahead. My lack of knowledge is what haunts me. Scratty was very much my learning curve and she died at 3 years 9 months, most probably because I got a lot wrong. She didn't eat hay and had very small poos for well over a year; I often fed her dairy drop (pet shop said they were okay, and they said suitable for rabbits on the packet). She felt skinny and didn't eat much (vets said he weight was okay). she was very quiet and lethargic. Now I know so much more I keep getting little memories of what should have been clues that she wasn't well. It was 3 weeks after she died that I discovered we have a rabbit expert vet only 20 miles away... why the hell could I not have found this out 6 months earlier? If I'd found RU or similar resource when I first got rabbits there would be a reasonable chance she'd still be here (she lived for 3 years 9 months, she's been gone for 3 years 9 months). I suspect she died of kidney failure, and I think there's a fair chance she had EC, so maybe she would have gone by now, but she would have had far better quality of care while she was alive. She deserved so much better and I let her down badly

As for coming to terms with it, dealing with it, I just want to improve the quality of life of as many rabbits as I can , to give them what they deserve, what Scrabble deserved but I didn't know how to give her.

This is no where near the traumatic experience of losing a pet through preditors or accidentally causing their death, which is much harder to deal with. I've caused the death of a few fishes over the last 30 years, which is an awful shock at the time but I've come to terms with relatively easily as I didn't have the same bond as I do with rabbits.

Coming downstairs at 5am one morning to find my baby Crumpet collapsed in the corner of his cage my poor baby, he must have been so scared. He was my first rabbit and we had the strongest bond I miss him so much.

Not a rabbit but when I woke up to find my poor guinea pig Treacle lying on his side I cryed for about 2 hours and felt sad for the next week and can still picture her lying there

I can't say "long lasting" as it is less than a month since it happened. But I know these are the kinds of things that will stay with me for a long time. I have several images in my mind of poor little Beatrix when she was so ill and weak, and when she rallied briefly and dug and escaped. Deeply associated with them are the feelings of how profoundly exhausted I was at the time (I had been in bed ill for the previous four days), and knowing that I may well have judged things and done things somewhat differently if I had been feeling as healthy as I am this week, for example. I observe her and analyse what I am seeing better in the images in my memory than I was able to do at the time when it happened. I don't know if anything else would have saved her, but, y'know...

For a couple of weeks after she died I would sometimes turn if I saw something on the floor out of the corner of my eye, expecting to see her as she was when she was ok, all scampering about and hiding in corners.

ETA. Sky-O. It's not in the least stupid. It's normal. People do experience trauma - and that's what flashbacks are a part of - from witnessing death or injury to others, or from experiences with serious consequences where they feel responsible (rightly or wrongly). Some are affected more deeply than others and it's a question of how much it is getting in the way of other aspects of your life or bringing you down that shows whether it's a problem, and talking about it in constructive ways with friends could help. Or counselling if it were necessary.

When I was 14 I came home to find my rabbit Snowy on the floor, dead and skinned. My dog had got her, he's somehow opened the bolts on the hutch. I'd had her since a baby and she mustve been 7 or so, and whilst I thought she hated me (extremely hutch aggressive and hormonal, now I realise it was just because she wasnt spayed) I loved her.

I think I must have gone into shock because I looked and thought 'oh Mak caught a wild rabbit, that's weird' (she was in the lounge) and went out to her hutch to feed her, couldnt find her and looked all round the garden for her, decided to make her some food, then looked again, everywhere, all around the lounge too. Then I looked at the rabbit and noticed it had a grey ear. Turned the light on and knelt down and realised she was in fact my white Snowy, just skinned. It took a while of staring dumbly at her to realise it was her. I couldnt touch her and just sat there, tears streaming down my face. I turned on Mak and yelled at him but he didnt seem to think he'd done anything wrong, and so I (something I'm not proud of) bit his ear in a bid to make him understand on a dog level (not hard, but something I'd seen Mum do) and told him to get out, and shut him in the garden. I should probably point out that Mak is a big Alsation, so probably dangerous for me too, but I wasnt thinking. I think my anger was partly for Flecks as well, one of Snowy's babies (her lookalike and my favourite) that managed to wriggle under the stable door and Mak got him. I wasnt there for that or after.

I then rang everyone I knew but noone was home. I sat in the dark, not looking directly at her but watching all the same. I got a call back and was on the phone for half an hour, crying, but then she had to go. I called Mak back in and said sorry and hugged him, realising that it wasnt his fault and sat, still crying, and stayed with him till my parents got home. I refused to let him go anywhere near her though, I was almost standing guard over her, I couldnt bear for anyone to go near her, even myself. When they got home I left the lounge, took the phone and went upstairs to call my boyfriend, and went into denial I think. I refused to go with them to the woods to bury Snowy and got angry when they said they were taking Mak with them. I felt he shouldnt be there at her funeral. I refused to see or talk to anyone for the rest of the day.

I think afterwards I lived in a state of denial for a while, and strictly refused to acknowledge what had happened. For years after I went to feed Snowy, or panicked realising I hadnt fed Snowy that day, and went out there to find noone there. I dont even know what happened to the hutch, I think I just blanked out the whole thing. I still cry when I think about it, but I dont often get flashbacks, although I did at first. I often woke up in the middle of the night, or couldnt sleep, running the day over and over in my head, trying to figure out if I had bolted the hutch door properly, whether it was my fault.

I didnt have rabbits again till Sep 2010 when I got Barney, and now 6 years later I often get panicky now when I'm out, as there are huskies and collies in the building, and I panic that I havent closed the front door properly or something, or that if I **** off the neighbours they'll come up with their dogs - irrational thoughts I know, and I quickly quash them, but I think its just left over from what happened. My front door is now the equivalent of the hutch door.

I hope you're okay Sky-O, I know this isnt the same, and nowhere as near as traumatic as what you experienced, but you are not alone. If you are having flashbacks, particularly if you are having dreams, it may be because you have not come to terms with what happened. Have you seen a counsellor or a pyschiatrist about this? They may have some advice about how you can deal with it.

*big hugs*

Watching Smudgey struggle to take his last breath In the car in my arms, on the way to the vet, he took a huge gasp, then he was gone. He'd showed no signs of illness beforehand. The thing is, I went down to the bunnies 10 minutes later than I usually did, if I'd gone at the same time he could have still been alive today I get 'flashbacks' of this. I now always go down to them as soon as I can everyday, just incase.
Pixie, the hamster, died in a pretty similair way. Except I kept her alive for longer, when I should of just let her go I saw her struggle to take her last breath as well.
My Honey died fom complications after her spay, so I got incredibly nervous when Mischief was getting done

And not the same I know, and not a rabbit, but Maggie (my hamster), her death haunts me, although it was only in September so not long ago. She went to the vets twice, once at the start of her being lethargic, getting thin etc, and again when she was wobbling, and had gotten worse. I remember the first time the vet said he could do bloods to definately determine that it was what he thought, but even then it was incurable (something about genetic cysts) and she was living on borrowed time anyway, he didnt seem to think there was any point. I remember I didnt want the bloods, scared that so much of her tiny amount of blood would be taken, for apparently no gain, and took antibiotics instead to rule out a standard infection. The second time the vet didnt know what the other had meant, and thought she was just getting old, and advised me that the only thing to do would be force-feeding, and hinted that at this stage in her life prolonging it this way may be cruel. I agreed and carried on feeding her anything she would eat, trying all sorts to tempt her. But I wish, I wish so much, that I had thought to ask for a referral to a specialist for her, but it never occurred to me at the time that they might not know what was wrong, I dont know why. But I keep thinking, what if I did, what if the kink in her tail wasnt just arthiritus, what if it WAS a symptom, what if it could be cured. I feel like I gave up on her

HorseyHolly said:

I now always go down to them as soon as I can everyday, just incase.

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Yes, I do this now too. Even over Christmas I got up an hour before the vets opened (they were open for a couple of hours each morning for emergencies on all the bank holidays) to look at Ada.
And I now have a sort of "reserve" in my mind that on any given day at all I might have to drop everything and go to the vets. Something which I just wasn't prepared for on the particular day B was taken ill. I did take her of course, it's just that I could barely cope with having to do yet another thing on top of the little I was prepared to manage that day.

I killed Beilidh, my soul bunny. I was getting stuff out the drawer, he ran inbetween my legs while I was closing it. His neck got caught in the drwaer. He screamed, a long scream then ran into things dragging his head. Probably only for about 5 seconds but it seemed like ages. I just went in to total shock and cuddled him in a blanket for hours waiting for him to wake up, just kept refilling the hot water bottle so he wouldn't get cold. Other than that I hardly left my room for about a week & never spoke to anyone.

My hands have gone all shaky typing this. I can't trust myself with other bunnies, have a good friend on here with 3 bunnies, one of which is very cuddly but I can't hold him without going all shaky and panicking that I'm going to injure him. I get awful flashbacks at night and even during the day, where its as if everything else just stops and I see a long drawn out video of his death. I still cry myself to sleep most nights, even if I'm not thinking about him. I can hear his screech in my head as though it was yesterday and also have nightmares, where I murder him in different ways. Its the worst thing ever, waking up screaming and crying and thinking all day of how I murdered him again and again. I still torture myself over it, hurt myself because it makes me feel better that I don't get away without punishment for killing him. At my worst, I still question why I even let myself live. he died under my hands and so it would be only fair for me to die to, surely.

I've never been more effected by any other event in my life.

funnybunnyabc said:

I killed Beilidh, my soul bunny. I was getting stuff out the drawer, went to shut it and he ran inbetween my legs. His neck got caught in the drwaer. He screamed, a long scream then ran into things dragging his head. Probably only for about 5 seconds but it seemed like ages. I just went in to total shock and cuddled him in a blanket for hours waiting for him to wake up, just kept refilling the hot water bottle so he wouldn't get cold. Other than that I hardly left my room for about a week & never spoke to anyone.

My hands have gone all shaky typing this. I can't trust myself with other bunnies, have a good friend on here with 3 bunnies, one of which is very cuddly but I can't hold him without going all shaky and panicking that I'm going to injure him. I get awful flashbacks at night and even during the day, where its as if everything else just stops and I see a long drawn out video of his death. I still cry myself to sleep most nights, even if I'm not thinking about him. I can hear his screech in my head as though it was yesterday and also have nightmares, where I murder him in different ways. Its the worst thing ever, waking up screaming and crying and thinking all day of how I murdered him again and again. I still torture myself over it, hurt myself because it makes me feel better that I don't get away without punishment for killing him. At my worst, I still question why I even let myself live. he died under my hands and so it would be only fair for me to die to, surely.

I've never been more effected by any other event in my life.

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It was a terrible thing to happen, but it was an accident, you must remember that, it was NOT your fault. Have you had counselling for this? It sounds like you could do with someone to help get you out of the cycle of guilt. *hugs* Try not to dwell on it too much, and try to realise that it could have happened to anyone, it was just bad luck. Easier said than believed I know, but it was not your fault. I'm so sorry.

funnybunnyabc said:

I killed Beilidh, my soul bunny. I was getting stuff out the drawer, went to shut it and he ran inbetween my legs. His neck got caught in the drwaer. He screamed, a long scream then ran into things dragging his head. Probably only for about 5 seconds but it seemed like ages. I just went in to total shock and cuddled him in a blanket for hours waiting for him to wake up, just kept refilling the hot water bottle so he wouldn't get cold. Other than that I hardly left my room for about a week & never spoke to anyone.

My hands have gone all shaky typing this. I can't trust myself with other bunnies, have a good friend on here with 3 bunnies, one of which is very cuddly but I can't hold him without going all shaky and panicking that I'm going to injure him. I get awful flashbacks at night and even during the day, where its as if everything else just stops and I see a long drawn out video of his death. I still cry myself to sleep most nights, even if I'm not thinking about him. I can hear his screech in my head as though it was yesterday and also have nightmares, where I murder him in different ways. Its the worst thing ever, waking up screaming and crying and thinking all day of how I murdered him again and again. I still torture myself over it, hurt myself because it makes me feel better that I don't get away without punishment for killing him. At my worst, I still question why I even let myself live. he died under my hands and so it would be only fair for me to die to, surely.

I've never been more effected by any other event in my life.

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I remember your posts from that time and though pretty new to the forum I was profoundly affected by your story, and for a couple of mornings the first thing I thought on waking up was to hope you were ok.
It was pure accident and you clearly loved him so very much - you still do.
This is affecting you very deeply and I think it would be a very good idea for you to see a counsellor about it.

Despite his death, there are many things you can do in life and you still contain the capability to help and be a friend to many other people and animals.
One accident does not take away all the other good things about you.
It's a horrific thing that happened and it's easy to see why it affects you a lot, but if you were eventually able to move past the most traumatic and self-hating bits of it you could become more aware of and able to access your positive abilities again.

I killed my first rabbit thumper, I thought it would be a good idea to bath him, then soon realised rabbits don't dry too quickly, I brought him inside in a carrier but he still wouldn't dry by the time my mum made me put him back out, the next morning he was dead, stone cold and frozen I'm not sure if it was the cold or the shock that'd killed him. It was quite traumatic because I was only about 7/8 at the time and I knew it was my fault but couldn't talk to anyone about it, and obviously I was the one that found him It affected me for years, not so much now but I still feel guilty

*WARNING GRAPHIC AND DISTRESSING*
















1-Accidentally dropping a large log that I was trying to move. I tripped, dropped log which landed directly on top of a 5 week old kit (one of Jack's siblings) He/she screamed and died, sustaining horric crush injuries

2-Seeing a Fox in my kitchen and parts of Ronan (Jack's Brother aged 5 ) scattered all over the kitchen floor


Am actually now on medication to try to get PTSD under control. PTSD caused by childhood trauma, but flashbacks also include the two horrifi events above

So you have my whole hearted empathy. It is a living hell which, right now, feels like it is killing me

Jane, if you actually have PTSD I would highly recommend a therapy called EMDR. Though unfortunately it is not available on the NHS in all areas of the country. I won't go on about it too much here but it does work amazingly well for some people. It was like magic for me and I'd be a very different person without it.