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I think my friend is neglecting her rabbit...what should I do?

Oompa-Loompa

Warren Veteran
I have a friend in the UK who has had a rabbit for about a year and a half (approx.). It initially belonged to her sister who didn't want it anymore so gave it away. In the beginning I helped her out a lot and gave her advice on cage sizes, diet and so on, she did listen to all of this and seemed to be doing all she could to improve his life. I told her he had to be let out daily to get exercise which she did. But this only lasted for a couple of weeks, when I asked her about him a while later she just made lots of excuses for not feeding him the right stuff, for not letting him out of the cage etc. He's not neutered. He doesn't even have a name :( And I have a distinct feeling that she's neglecting him, keeping him locked up in a tiny cage and not caring for him properly :( I don't think she's doing it on purpose, she's never had anything but cats and dogs so rabbits are still very new to her. I made many mistakes in the beginning too but I still did the best I could, which I don't think she is :( Nowadays when I ask about the rabbit she just says he's fine then changes the subject, and gets noticably annoyed with me if I try to discuss the subject any further. I'm not sure what to do. He's a gorgeous little Dutch rabbit, I hate the thought of him being neglected :( But she's a pretty close friend of mine, well as close as you can possibly get with an online friend you've never met :roll: I've been talking to her for 4 years. I want to help this wee guy out but at the same time, I know she will get cross with me if I'm not careful. What do you think I should do? :?
 
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You owe it to yourself and the bunny to advocate for him. If she gets angry then what you have to remember is that anger is a cover emotion and it will be hiding probably something like guilt or shame and that you have touched a nerve. It's a case of being careful, sensitive and articulate, but it's still something that needs to be tackled.

Alternatively, contact the RSPCA in our country if you have her address and they can go and check it out.

Even if you do that I would still work hard to advocate. Have you asked her why she doesn't want to talk about him anymore? Maybe tell her you won't judge her but whatever is going on, if she cares for the bunny, you want to be able to help if needed and so she needs to tell the whole truth.

Sadly, it is up to her to take responsibility and if she can't and won't look after him properly then he deserves better.
 
I was thinking about contacting the RSPCA as I do have her address...I just know she would get really cross with me :? She's obviously in denial about the whole thing since she seems to think she's doing everything right when she actually isn't. I'll try to ask her about the bun tonight, and depending on what her response is, express my wish to help out. I guess I'm afraid of losing her as a friend. I've known her for such a long time :? She's extremely sensitive and takes everything personally. So I'd have to be really careful :(
 
She wouldn't have to know you had contacted the RSPCA- remember.

What you have to decide what you feel is what is most important in this situation; the bunny, her feelings, or your friendship and then act accordingly.

Good luck.
 
This sounds quite a tricky situation. The RSPCA is obviously an option, but I can understand your reservations. Skyo's advice re. what to say as an offer of help is at least worth a try. :thumb:
 
She'll probably know it was me if I ask her about the bunny and then the RSPCA shows up, she's a pretty private person and rarely has people over at her place etc. I don't know. I just don't want the bunny to suffer which I think he does :( I wonder if maybe I make that clear it won't be as big a problem, I just don't want her to take it personally.
EDIT: How do I contact the RSPCA?
 
To contact the RSPCA you'll need to dial into England and call their National Cruelty Line 0300 1234 999 :)

The Inspectorate will hopefully make sure he is fed, watered and safe, but accommodation size, that won't be high on the list.
 
Maybe you could include acknowledging that she has taken on a bunny she didn't plan to have, and perhaps giving her some information about how rabbit care is very different from looking after dogs and cats, the animals she seems to be more familiar with. This might make some of the changes you'd like to see her make seem more necessary.

Good luck, and let us know how you get on. :wave:
 
Ok, thank you, I'll save the number and maybe call them if it becomes necessary. Ideally I'd like her to realise herself that she can't look after him properly and contact a rescue etc. but I doubt that will happen :( I'll try to talk to her and decide where to go from there.
 
Maybe tell her that you're not interested in what has happened to the bunny up until now, just that from here on you want to help make things better for him. (this is all still presuming he is alive, and not that he has died and she has been too scared to tell you).
 
Maybe you could include acknowledging that she has taken on a bunny she didn't plan to have, and perhaps giving her some information about how rabbit care is very different from looking after dogs and cats, the animals she seems to be more familiar with. This might make some of the changes you'd like to see her make seem more necessary.

Good luck, and let us know how you get on. :wave:

I did that in the beginning and like I mentioned she did listen, but lately I've only been getting stupid excuses for why she isn't doing any of these things anymore. I've also repeatedly told her to join this forum, as it's a great place to come for advice etc. (even better for her than for me as she actually lives in the UK like the majority of people here), she kept saying she was going to think about it but it never happened. she just doesn't seem to care anymore :?

Unfortunately it has crossed my mind that he might be dead :cry: It would certainly explain why she never talks about him. But that's an interesting point, if he's still around and seems to be suffering I'd probably have more luck reaching out to her if I make it clear that I don't blame her for ignoring my advice in the past etc. and just want to help the bunny out while I can.
 
Ok, I've now taken the first step by asking her if she still has the bunny. Just gotta wait and see now. If he's still there, I will proceed very cautiously.
 
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