Re-bonding after stay at vets help please

Milly recently was at the vets for 6 days. On her return I put her in the 'animal' bedroom with Rupert and when Rupert saw her he ran out the room at high speed. When he returned he sniffed Milly and things seemed to be Ok. However, later when Milly hopped to the loo Rupert lunged towards her grunting. As Milly was and is still unwell (upper respitory infection and growing abscess) and it was bedtime, I put Rupert in my room for the night and left Milly alone.

The next day I tried again but this time when Rupert approached Milly she went for him and tried to bite him. I don't think he noticed but I obviously removed him from the room again. I think she went for him as he bounded over and she was still feeling very fragile. I think she was protecting herself from being hopped on more than attacking him if you see what I mean?

I don't know how to deal with things now. Milly is alot better although we will have to deal with this abscess soon and as she's still unwell I don't want her to have to deal with alot of stress, chasing etc.

Rupert and Milly were VERY slow to bond. Initially they attacked each other and Rupert bit Milly badly. Rupert had previously been bonded with a lady bun who attacked him and hurt his ears so he is understandably wary. It literally took months to bond them. Milly made it clear throughout that she wanted to bond and sat outside the stairgate on Ruperts room etc. She was a star with bonding and very patient even when Rupert grunts and rushes at her (part of his personality!)-he does it to me too-Mr Grumpy Grunt is his nickname!

Rupert is the most frightened man I've ever known-he's very fearful of just about everything. That said, once bonded they made a super pair and Milly helped Rupert with his confidence hugely-he used to be constantly terrified and now isn't. Rupert was very good to Milly when she returned from a day trip for dental work; it's the several days that's been the issue. I couldn't have Rupert with Milly at the vets as she was too ill and Rupert would never have coped with the fear.

Meanwhile, Rupert is happy in my room and Milly wants to explore now. They need each other though-Milly has alot of treatment ahead and needs Rupert and he needs her as he's currently not moving from behind an armchair in my room much.

Do we have to literally start from the beginning? Rupert has always been the aggressor and bites. He's californian so huge compared to Millys medium lop. Do I leave it for now until Milly is better which could be a while? Surely the longer they're apart the more problems develop? I know they're better together-I am a strong believer in bunny friends but can't risk milly being hurt, nor things getting worse. It was SO hard getting them together in the first place and I am gutted they've apparently lost their bond. What can i do? Please advise.

I'm sorry Milly is ill at the moment. I hope you can get her better quickly

When you brought her home, did you put her back in with him? I.e. in a space that he has now claimed and believes to be his? (i.e. his territory even if it was shared prior to that).

He will likely have been very confused, which is probably why he acted as he did, because if I understand correctly, and the answer to the previous question is 'yes' then you effectively brought a rabbit into his territory and put it in there, and he won't have realised it is Milly because she smells so different.

In my own situations like this (where I've had to have one at the vets and a bonded friend not at the vets- not advisable, but sometimes unavoidable) I keep the one at home somewhere else, away from the joint territory, and then when I go to collect the bunny from the vets, then the bonded friend comes too and they share the carrier and the car journey home. I've never had problems doing it that way because it gives them the time to realise who the other bunny is, and also their territory is still joint territory. Given Milly is ill and may need more admissions, I thought that knowing that might be useful for the future

For now, in your situation, I would take them on a car journey together (because this creates a joint mindset with each other) and then put them into a neutral area. I would also say before putting them back in their room that you neutralise that too, to avoid any territory issues.

It may not work while she is ill, but it might; hopefully it will.

Thanks for the quick reply.

Yes, I did put Milly straight back in with Rupert, in the bedroom they live in (can go elsewhere in the house too) as i didn't know the bond was broken. I had feared it was possible, even likely given the difficulties in the inital bonding but didn't know for sure. Milly had been to the vets for dentals for the day before and returned with no problems and I've had other bonded pairs be apart for a day or two with no issue.

I did think of having Rupert at the vets but Milly was too ill and Rupert would never have coped-he's very anxious. When I brought her home from the vets she was still very fragile so I put her straight into her familiar room but stayed by her to see what happened. After Rupert ran off he returned as mentioned and they spent the day in the same room. They sat apart but there was no problem. It was later in the evening that Milly hopped across the room and Rupert got anxious and lunged. it may have been Ok-he does this a bit at the best of times and Milly ignore him, no contact is made and all is OK, but of course with Milly ill, I just gently intervened and took Rupert out the room.

Yesterday Rupert hopped to Milly but didn't run/rush. I genuinely think Milly didn't want to be trodden on as she was lying down and Rupert is very big.

If it is a case of starting from the beginning-new space etc we'll have to wait. i was hoping and believe that the bond isn't 100% broken, it's just rather fragile, and just hoped there was a way of repairing it without having to start from step 1 as Milly's not up to it.

I use car journeys to repair my bonds if they go awry, and this may be enough, but it may not be.

Thanks-problems is Milly's not up to much. She's got a big abscess under her chin and still recovering from upper respitory infection and when stressed her breathing gets bad. We'll have to leave it until she is better unless I can figure this out. I take the lead from my guys-I'll see what Milly wants to do and can cope with and see if we can get this sorted. Milly knew all along that she wanted to be friends with Rupert and managed to persuade him before that it was a good idea for him too so I'm sure she'll figure this out too!!!:thumb:

How about dividing the room into two, so they can remind each other about each other, and they can also get comfort from each other through the divide?

I'll see how we get on at the vets tomorrow Re: this abscess. It may be that Milly is better off alone that a stressy re-bonding with the treatment to come (removal etc).

It's very tricky with Milly being ill and Rupert being anxious. Currently, Milly, Basil cat and myself are on antibiotics with various infection and Ruperts the only well one of us! As Rupert is so nervy I'm loathe to push him especially as he's coping miraculously well in my bedroom. He's doing really well at the moment and dare not risk upsetting him as then he'll get ill too and I don't know how we'll cope then. I did eardrops a couple of nights ago and he had a panic attack-fast breathing, terror at the sight of me etc. He really panics at things. Although it's far from ideal Milly and Rupert being apart at least each is relatively happy and calm at the mo. I think we have enough on our plate-I just daren't risk pushing anyone further into stress or worse injury. We'll get Milly better and then see I think.

Thank you for all your help.

Just a quick update-all is well!

I followed Milly's lead (she know WAY more than me about just about everything) and I can happily report that Milly and Rupert are best cuddling friends again. As suspected, the bond wasn't completely broken, just a bit frayed. Rupert had got muddled when Milly reappeared after nigh on a week at the vets and Milly had worried that gorgeous giant Rupert would tread on her and got a bit grumpy.

After a couple more days apart they were keen to see each other and though milly remained a little wary Rupert was extra careful and slowly crept nearer to her (when Mills was looking the other way) until he was happily snuggled right by her at which point Mills decided she was Ok with that too. Alls well with the world and I am constantly wiping tears away as I'm so happy for them. I LOVE bunny cuddles and we all (Milly, Rupert, Basil cat and me ) snuggled together watching TV last night for the first time in a couple of weeks. Phew!