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View Full Version : Does is EVER get easier?! :(



xEMMAx
06-06-2011, 01:02 AM
I lost my lovely James 5 years ago to flystrike, and of course I still think about him all the time, he was a very special bun.

I can't help but blame myself for him passing away, all those 'what if' questions and it does get me upset at times. But yesterday (I am cabin crew) I was on the coach to a hotel with the crew, 40 minute journey, was just listening to music and looking out the window (like always) and was thinking about James but it got me really upset and I was missing him so much I started really crying... and I NEVER EVER cry in public!! :shock::oops:

I don't want to forget James, I REALLY don't, I just don't want to feel so awful when I think about him sometimes. I'd do anything to have him back :cry::cry::cry::cry: I mean it's been FIVE YEARS now and I have 4 perfect little fluffballs now who I love so much. But surely it's not right to still be feeling like this after 5 years?! :cry::cry: How do I only remember the good times and get rid of the feelings of guilt and pain? It seems to be getting worse recently, not better :cry::cry:

Sorry for the long post, but I don't know anybody else who will understand.

Lillian
06-06-2011, 01:06 AM
My Lillian died 22nd October 2005, I still struggle not to cry. If I spoke to anyone face to face about her I'd probably cry. I had nightmares about her for years, I'd wake up crying with those awful images in my head (She died of myxi, by the end I couldn't even recognise her :cry:).

*Hugs*

xEMMAx
06-06-2011, 01:14 AM
Aww bless you :( *hugs* Yes I definitely don't talk about James face to face anymore, I have a big canvas photo of him above my bed so he's the last thing I see at night :love: Nobody else sees that so no chance of people visiting bringing him up. I WANT to talk about him, but I know it would upset me! The images are the worst aren't they? :cry: I will remember the way James looked until the day I die, by far the most horrific thing I've ever seen in my life :cry::cry:


Thank you, I would say it's good to know someone else feels this way, but I wouldn't wish this kind of feeling upon anyone *hugs*

Lillian
06-06-2011, 01:20 AM
You can always talk about him on here and share photos on here. (I have a James too by the way :)). It's difficult to remember the good things sometimes. I find if anything upsets me, then suddenly the grief of past pets comes flooding back. It does get a little easier but it never goes away completely.

Bellatrix18
06-06-2011, 01:35 AM
I lost my Misty on the 6th of May 2006. I think about her frequently and can't mention her without crying. I barely have any photos to remember her because they were almost all on one computer that got wiped. I miss her every single day and I think I always will, but it's getting a lot easier just to think about the amazing years she gave me. I know that the pain of loosing her was worth it because I also had the joy of knowing her x

Blackberry & Co
06-06-2011, 06:52 AM
I lost my Blackberry in February - he was my soul mate. I love my other bunnies, but he was my best friend.

I still cry for him and miss him terribly.

I've luckily got 100s of photos of him, as he was such a little poser and so friendly - and thankfully I have them saved on CDs, and I've printed my favourites out. It must be awful to lose photos of your pets when they have gone.

If I'm feeling down I picture him sat on my shoulder, reaching across to give my chin a lick :love::love::love: He was an eternal optimist, full of life and happiness, so I try to remember that instead of how soon he was from me.

(((hugs))) to all who are grieving x

CharlotteMc
06-06-2011, 07:14 AM
I lost my Alfie on the 4th October 2009, I stayed with him for two days until the end. I rang loads of vets and they said I can't bring him in as it wasn't emergency (it was over the weekend) I can remember howthin and sad he was right up the end, but as I don't talk about his last few days very often I have started to forget what happened and how Alfie was. Now I just look back on photos and remember the good times. I don't even have many photos of him because I only had him for a year as I rescued him as an old bun.

xEMMAx
06-06-2011, 11:35 AM
Lillian, I'm moving house at the moment and have found loads of old photos, so will find some to upload! Aww you have a James too? :D I've not come across anyone else with a James bun! I really do love the name. Great taste in names ;)

Aww Bellatrix :( James was 8th May 06. Can't believe you lost all those photos, that must have been horrible *big hugs* But yeah that's the thing, the loss is the unfortunate thing we have to experience to experience the much greater feeling of love and having them make us happy.

Charlotte that must have been hard for you :( Glad you can just remember the good times now :)



I lost my Blackberry in February - he was my soul mate. I love my other bunnies, but he was my best friend.

I still cry for him and miss him terribly.

I've luckily got 100s of photos of him, as he was such a little poser and so friendly - and thankfully I have them saved on CDs, and I've printed my favourites out. It must be awful to lose photos of your pets when they have gone.

If I'm feeling down I picture him sat on my shoulder, reaching across to give my chin a lick :love::love::love: He was an eternal optimist, full of life and happiness, so I try to remember that instead of how soon he was from me.

(((hugs))) to all who are grieving x

Yes, this!

Thankfully I have so many photos of James, he was a real poser too! Most are printed ones, it was the days before digital cameras! I really do feel for people who don't have many photos, that must be really heartbreaking :( I'm sure my current buns are so fed up with having a camera in their faces a lot of the time but I want to capture everything and have looooads of memories.

Awww that's lovely to think of him sitting on your shoulder :D :love:

sparklefairy
06-06-2011, 12:57 PM
awww ((hugs)))

I know how you feel hun. I lost Bilbo to the same evil flystrike ( as you may remember me talking about many moons ago) I still feel the sadness and guilt and the WHY!!??? Bilbo was a house bun and was kept clean but still got it!.

I often think of those I've loved and lost ( furry and non furry ) and cry

Sometimes I'd do anything to turn back time :cry:

Sky-O
06-06-2011, 01:00 PM
I lost my Flash on 27th December 2005, and can also relate. There are good days and bad days, and I find if I'm feeling lower, I miss him more. I found that doing something to honour his memory has helped immensely though.

Totally off topic, but I'm so completely surprised to find out Lillian's name may not actually be Lillian, and that that is your pets name. That's shocked me. Like when I found out 'William' was a girl.

xEMMAx
06-06-2011, 04:52 PM
Aww yes Rainbow I definitely remember you speaking about Bilbo :cry: *hugs*


Sky-O yes I think I feel worse when I'm feeling low anyway. But on the coach I was fine, then burst into tears! Oh cool, what have you done? Like I said I have a photo printed onto canvas and have that hung, I did make a kind of shrine to him in the garden where he was buried (but moved out 4 1/2 years ago so can't visit that anymore :cry:) But I'd love to do something else :)


Oh I know what you mean about 'forum names' they can be really funny! We have a work one where we all have different names (over 10,000 of us and the company forum isn't too good!) and we did a massive meet up one day and I got so many shocks, people who I was convinced were girls were men, and the opposite :shock::lol:

donnamt
06-06-2011, 05:07 PM
i think the fact you are not letting yourself cry for him is the reason its taking you so long to come to terms with your loss :(

it took me almost a year to get over my Pearl and occasionally i still cry but i think time has definately healed me and the fact i cried when ever i needed to really helped. she will always be my wallpaper pic on my laptop tho, i will never forget her :love:

Sky-O
06-06-2011, 05:13 PM
Aww yes Rainbow I definitely remember you speaking about Bilbo :cry: *hugs*


Sky-O yes I think I feel worse when I'm feeling low anyway. But on the coach I was fine, then burst into tears! Oh cool, what have you done? Like I said I have a photo printed onto canvas and have that hung, I did make a kind of shrine to him in the garden where he was buried (but moved out 4 1/2 years ago so can't visit that anymore :cry:) But I'd love to do something else :)


Oh I know what you mean about 'forum names' they can be really funny! We have a work one where we all have different names (over 10,000 of us and the company forum isn't too good!) and we did a massive meet up one day and I got so many shocks, people who I was convinced were girls were men, and the opposite :shock::lol:

I volunteer :) I started off just doing home visits for the local RSPCA and became known as 'the rabbit lady', but then I started fostering and educating and all sorts. I now take in rabbits with special needs, when I can, that would likely die if they didn't come to me, and turn them around and give them a quality of life.

I'm not anyone official, but I call my home 'Flash's Place' and deem all those residents who come here, as being at Flash's Place. To me it keeps his memory alive and gives meaning to the time we had together, and also to his loss.

Essentially, I make a difference because of him, and anyone can make a difference to others, and there are many other ways to do that to suit different people.

xEMMAx
08-06-2011, 11:56 PM
i think the fact you are not letting yourself cry for him is the reason its taking you so long to come to terms with your loss :(

it took me almost a year to get over my Pearl and occasionally i still cry but i think time has definately healed me and the fact i cried when ever i needed to really helped. she will always be my wallpaper pic on my laptop tho, i will never forget her :love:


I definitely do cry, just not when other people are around :oops:

Aww yeah, agree about the wallpaper :D

xEMMAx
08-06-2011, 11:59 PM
I volunteer :) I started off just doing home visits for the local RSPCA and became known as 'the rabbit lady', but then I started fostering and educating and all sorts. I now take in rabbits with special needs, when I can, that would likely die if they didn't come to me, and turn them around and give them a quality of life.

I'm not anyone official, but I call my home 'Flash's Place' and deem all those residents who come here, as being at Flash's Place. To me it keeps his memory alive and gives meaning to the time we had together, and also to his loss.

Essentially, I make a difference because of him, and anyone can make a difference to others, and there are many other ways to do that to suit different people.

Oh wow Sky-O that's really fantastic! :D What a great thing to do :love:

I'd LOVE to volunteer and/or foster, but not too sure about how to get into it, I think as I'm moving house this week and getting settled (not planning on moving for a LONG time this time!!) I'll definitely get in touch with some rescues and see if they need a hand.

Grace_Lily
09-06-2011, 12:24 AM
It does get easier in the sense that time numbs the pain so you can get on with your daily life, but the loss will sometimes still catch you out too.

I've been lucky in the sense I've grown up with lots of animals, but equally have experienced a lot of losses (16, I think). Having other animals around you helps you to keep going, and always try and remember the happy times over the sad. My most recent loss was our 10 year old border collie who died two years ago, it was way before his time and still chokes me up when I think of how he died, but I am slowly being able to remember him with a smile instead of a tear. Hope that helps x

xEMMAx
09-06-2011, 05:06 PM
Yes, definitely gets easier in daily life, I remember right after it happened I couldn't even get out of bed, it was 2 weeks between losing James and adopting Clio so I didn't have the 'animal support' which I 100% agree helps when other furries are around! I think that's why I don't feel as strong towards the other buns I lost (obviously I loved them) but I had my attention elsewhere at the same time, and they all seemed to pass away 'naturally' so was a lot easier to accept.

Thanks Grace :) x