Im an awful bunny mummy :(

I know Sox needs a friend,and neutering, and its my responsibility to give him a friend and make him happy and healthy. But its up to dad whether I get another pet or not, and he's not the most easily persuaded guy but if he'd just say 'no' then that's fine, I'll just have to accept that for now its not happening. But he doesn't, he says yeah, and I start looking at bunnys in rescues,hutches etc. And get my hopes up, just to have him change his mind once again...and he doesn't see why this is such a big deal to me He also says there's no way he is EVER staying in the house EVER.And Sox is obviously going to need to come inside after a neutering ...so how do I work around that one?


Eughh, I know I'm a horrible owner not providing him with these things, and he'd be better of somewhere else, but I could never re home my boy


Sorry for moaning, but there's not really anyone else that really cares about bunnys that I can talk to and gets what I mean and how I feel. Sorry.Feel free to ignore me

If you have him done when the weather is nice and warm he'll be fine to stay outside in a well insulated hutch.
I wouldn't let the fact he can't come in the house put you off having him done.

I know what you mean about people just not making their mind up, it makes it very difficult for you to know what to do and get your head straight on what's going to happen in the future.

If I were you I would write your dad a letter explaining as best you can why sox needs a friend and why it's important to you that your he gives you a straight answer, whether it be yes or no.
I think it will help you to be able to have the time to really think about it and express yourself properly, and will help him to have time to read it properly, understand and think on it before giving you an answer.

Does your dad pay for food/vaccines/vets bills etc? If he does try raising some money yourself to show how much it means to you. If he doesn't remind him having one more rabbit isn't going to make a difference to him.

BattleKat said:

If you have him done when the weather is nice and warm he'll be fine to stay outside in a well insulated hutch.
I wouldn't let the fact he can't come in the house put you off having him done.

I know what you mean about people just not making their mind up, it makes it very difficult for you to know what to do and get your head straight on what's going to happen in the future.

If I were you I would write your dad a letter explaining as best you can why sox needs a friend and why it's important to you that your he gives you a straight answer, whether it be yes or no.
I think it will help you to be able to have the time to really think about it and express yourself properly, and will help him to have time to read it properly, understand and think on it before giving you an answer.

Does your dad pay for food/vaccines/vets bills etc? If he does try raising some money yourself to show how much it means to you. If he doesn't remind him having one more rabbit isn't going to make a difference to him.

Click to expand...

Thank you
I think I'll try writing him a letter, I'm not sure how he'll take it though :|
I pay for anything that Sox needs, I'd be paying for neutering, new hutch, friend etc aswell.

The other thing dads not keen on is that I want to rescue a bunny this time, but dad seems to think this is a negative thing because 'its obviously in a rescue for a reason' and 'its just gonna be really ilness prone' :roll: *sighhh* But if dads not gonna 'let me' rescue a bunny, then do I just look on freeads, gumtree etc. for the sake of Sox having a friend and being happy?
I'm really not sure, I just want what's best for him

Also, if he can stay outside after neutering then that's that problem out of the way until summertime, thank you

If you pay for everything sox needs then I think you have a good chance of convincing your dad. Two rabbits don't take up any more space or time than one rabbit, the only thing that changes is cost which isn't anything to do with him.

I'd ask him if you could go to a rescue and let the staff explain why the rabbits are there, that they know the personalities better, that the rabbits are already neutered etc.
Say that if you get a rabbit elsewhere you'll need to wait until it's neutered and hormones have calmed down before bonding them so you'll need another hutch and run in the garden for several weeks.

If he won't let you then there's not much you can do.
Getting a bunny from free-ads isn't supporting the pet trade any more than a rescue is so there's no need to feel guilty if that's what you go for, but free-ad bunnies aren't any different to rescue bunnies so your dad might still be against it.
Otherwise you could consider going to a good breeder who houses their rabbits properly, cares for them well and breeds for the health of their rabbits. At least that way you can feel really confident about where your rabbits came from, go for exactly what you want and have some assurance their future health should be good.

BattleKat said:

If you pay for everything sox needs then I think you have a good chance of convincing your dad. Two rabbits don't take up any more space or time than one rabbit, the only thing that changes is cost which isn't anything to do with him.

I'd ask him if you could go to a rescue and let the staff explain why the rabbits are there, that they know the personalities better, that the rabbits are already neutered etc.
Say that if you get a rabbit elsewhere you'll need to wait until it's neutered and hormones have calmed down before bonding them so you'll need another hutch and run in the garden for several weeks.

If he won't let you then there's not much you can do.
Getting a bunny from free-ads isn't supporting the pet trade any more than a rescue is so there's no need to feel guilty if that's what you go for, but free-ad bunnies aren't any different to rescue bunnies so your dad might still be against it.
Otherwise you could consider going to a good breeder who houses their rabbits properly, cares for them well and breeds for the health of their rabbits. At least that way you can feel really confident about where your rabbits came from, go for exactly what you want and have some assurance their future health should be good.

Click to expand...

That's a really great idea , thank you
The only reason he's against rescue buns is because he thinks they're ALL ill and abused and will be aggressive because they had a bad start in life, but having someone explain to him that they aren't, might help my case A LOT!

If you get him ready (vaccs and neutered) then I think your dad is more likely to say yes, or at least will have less time to change his mind (you would have to wait 6 weeks after neutering to get him a friend otherwise, which is loads of time for him to change his mind).

If you get him neutered, he should also see you are serious about getting a friend, then maybe the friend could be your birthday or christmas present.

At worst, how soon do you think you will move out, and how old is sox? Even if its not possible now you can always get him a friend later in life, bunnies live till about 12.

Maybe if your dad cant be persuaded about a friend, try explaining that he needs company so it would be nice if he came in your bedroom. Is Sox litter trained? It'll be much easier to persuade him if he is. He'd need to be neutered really before coming indoors too, as unneutered males are more stinky and you dont want to give your dad an excuse to put him outside again.

In the meantime, make sure you spend lots of time with Sox, I spend about 12 hours a day with my bun (hes a house bun) where I'm always available for a cuddle if he wants it, but he is still lonely. Remember, you have to be Sox's bonded friend if he hasnt got one.

funnybunnyabc said:

That's a really great idea , thank you
The only reason he's against rescue buns is because he thinks they're ALL ill and abused and will be aggressive because they had a bad start in life, but having someone explain to him that they aren't, might help my case A LOT!

Click to expand...

good thing about a rescue is that they can tell you the temperment of the bunny before you get it, with pet shops or breeders its pot luck. Plus they will take the bunny back if your two dont bond, otherwise you could be stuck with two single buns.

But for your dad, make sure you mention that rescue buns are vaccinated (£20-30) and neutered (£50-90) and they have been checked for dental problems which could cost you thousands. So they end up A LOT cheaper, possibly saving you thousands, but guarenteed to save you around £100 anyway

nessar said:

good thing about a rescue is that they can tell you the temperment of the bunny before you get it, with pet shops or breeders its pot luck. Plus they will take the bunny back if your two dont bond, otherwise you could be stuck with two single buns.

But for your dad, make sure you mention that rescue buns are vaccinated (£20-30) and neutered (£50-90) and they have been checked for dental problems which could cost you thousands. So they end up A LOT cheaper, possibly saving you thousands, but guarenteed to save you around £100 anyway

Click to expand...

Plus some rescues will do the bonding - saving you a really big job.

nessar said:

If you get him ready (vaccs and neutered) then I think your dad is more likely to say yes, or at least will have less time to change his mind (you would have to wait 6 weeks after neutering to get him a friend otherwise, which is loads of time for him to change his mind).

If you get him neutered, he should also see you are serious about getting a friend, then maybe the friend could be your birthday or christmas present.

At worst, how soon do you think you will move out, and how old is sox? Even if its not possible now you can always get him a friend later in life, bunnies live till about 12.

Maybe if your dad cant be persuaded about a friend, try explaining that he needs company so it would be nice if he came in your bedroom. Is Sox litter trained? It'll be much easier to persuade him if he is. He'd need to be neutered really before coming indoors too, as unneutered males are more stinky and you dont want to give your dad an excuse to put him outside again.

In the meantime, make sure you spend lots of time with Sox, I spend about 12 hours a day with my bun (hes a house bun) where I'm always available for a cuddle if he wants it, but he is still lonely. Remember, you have to be Sox's bonded friend if he hasnt got one.

Click to expand...

I have to get Sox done in the summer, because he can't come inside. I don't think I have any chance at all of him being allowed to live inside, my mum is allergic to anything with fur, so he definately can't come inside I spend looots of time with him, because I feel so guilty.

I'm 16, he'll be 1 in April. I HOPE I'm not gonna have to wait untill I move out, its could be up to 4 years (hopefully less, maybe more)

Thank you everyone

Grin said:

Plus some rescues will do the bonding - saving you a really big job.

Click to expand...

This would be great too, considering I'm still at school and I will struggle to find time to do it

I feel for your mum - I'm allergic to rabbits too :roll: I'm fine being around them & cleaning them out, but the the minute I handle them my eyes start itching & my nose starts running. Piriton helps though

Awww, your bun is lucky to have you as you care so much about him. Don't worry. I'm sure he is happy already. He won't know what he is missing although it would be better if you could get another. i am in the same situ. I have a gorgeous 3 year old Rex, Smudge. My husband is fatally allergic to the hairs etc and has to be nebulised and then have days off work cos he can't move if he is exposed to him - so he is NEVER allowed to set foot in the house. He lives in a playhouse in an aviary so he has plenty of space. I let him out to free range the garden whenever I can - usually 3 hours in the morning and 2 in the afternoon - I am home from work at 3:30 and let him out till it get s dark.

I, too, was worried about keeping him warm after his neuter cos he couldn't come in. I put extra hay in his next box in the playhouse and a snugglesafe under the hay. He was fine!! Yes, needed to keep checking his stitches and required an extra (free) trip to the vets to check as I thought they were getting infected but they were good. Advised then not to put so much hay in as it irritates - so gave plenty of vet bed for the 2 weeks then reverted to the hay. Spent time stroking him and being with him.

Smudge doesn't like to be held but will willling jump on my lap for cuddles in his own time if I sit on the floor in the aviary or the stool in the playhouse.

I would like another bun to keep him company but know the after care for a female can require a little more attention than I have so would require a bun already "done" and need to get from Fat Fluffs because they are the nearest to me that bond the bunnies for you. I can't face seeing the fights etc or having Smudge hurt in the process..So need to wait or accept it can't be done - I live in Somerset, Fat fluffs is in birmingham - I don't drive and they can't go in my hubby's car - allergies. So I'd need to go by train - expenses start mounting then....

Sure your bun is sooo loved. Don't worry. Just spend time with him/her.

Good luck.

I'm only on here quickly as at work, but wanted to say I don't think you're a bad bunny mummy - afterall you've obviously got his best interests at heart and want the best for him. Compared to one thread I've read recently, I don't think you're a bad mummy at all.

Hope you manage to persuade your dad x

Cornishlass said:

Awww, your bun is lucky to have you as you care so much about him. Don't worry. I'm sure he is happy already. He won't know what he is missing although it would be better if you could get another. i am in the same situ. I have a gorgeous 3 year old Rex, Smudge. My husband is fatally allergic to the hairs etc and has to be nebulised and then have days off work cos he can't move if he is exposed to him - so he is NEVER allowed to set foot in the house. He lives in a playhouse in an aviary so he has plenty of space. I let him out to free range the garden whenever I can - usually 3 hours in the morning and 2 in the afternoon - I am home from work at 3:30 and let him out till it get s dark.

I, too, was worried about keeping him warm after his neuter cos he couldn't come in. I put extra hay in his next box in the playhouse and a snugglesafe under the hay. He was fine!! Yes, needed to keep checking his stitches and required an extra (free) trip to the vets to check as I thought they were getting infected but they were good. Advised then not to put so much hay in as it irritates - so gave plenty of vet bed for the 2 weeks then reverted to the hay. Spent time stroking him and being with him.

Smudge doesn't like to be held but will willling jump on my lap for cuddles in his own time if I sit on the floor in the aviary or the stool in the playhouse.

I would like another bun to keep him company but know the after care for a female can require a little more attention than I have so would require a bun already "done" and need to get from Fat Fluffs because they are the nearest to me that bond the bunnies for you. I can't face seeing the fights etc or having Smudge hurt in the process..So need to wait or accept it can't be done - I live in Somerset, Fat fluffs is in birmingham - I don't drive and they can't go in my hubby's car - allergies. So I'd need to go by train - expenses start mounting then....

Sure your bun is sooo loved. Don't worry. Just spend time with him/her.

Good luck.

Click to expand...

Thank you so much for the info about neutering, I feel much better about leaving him outside now,and I'll know not to put too much hay in And it'll be in the summer so I will probable be sitting outside beside him the whole time anyway, the worry box that I am :lol:

I'm think I'm going to be bonding Sox with a boy, I know its much harder but dad says that girls are 'smellier and more illness prone' and if I can't get a rescue bunny then spaying is going to cost more in a long run, and females need more care after a spay and I'd feel the need to bring her in, which I won't be able to do
Thanks so much everyonex

funnybunnyabc said:

Thank you so much for the info about neutering, I feel much better about leaving him outside now,and I'll know not to put too much hay in And it'll be in the summer so I will probable be sitting outside beside him the whole time anyway, the worry box that I am :lol:

I'm think I'm going to be bonding Sox with a boy, I know its much harder but dad says that girls are 'smellier and more illness prone' and if I can't get a rescue bunny then spaying is going to cost more in a long run, and females need more care after a spay and I'd feel the need to bring her in, which I won't be able to do
Thanks so much everyonex

Click to expand...

After neutering its advised that you shouldnt let the bun sit/lie on hay, and just have it in a hay rack - it irritates the wound.

I would definately not bond Sox with a boy if you are not getting from a rescue. Reason being that boys are less likely to bond, and if he is not from a rescue then you are more likely to end up with 2 single buns.

Also, think about how you are going to bond them. You will need minimum 48 hours, often more to spend with them constantly, even at night , and this will be really hard if they are outside. If you go to a rescue they will bond them for you.

I think your focus has to be persuading you dad to go to a rescue - you are actually less likely to get an ill bunny as they have all been checked and you will know which ones are ill!

Also females are less smelly (much less!) and the only extra health problem I'm aware of is uterine cancer - the risk of which is removed by spaying. They are no more expensive from rescues either.

Do you think your dad would be happy to get a rescue baby bunny? That way it hasnt been given up by anyone and so doesnt have the social stigma attatched. Rescues often have litters born in their care. I was told by a rescue that a baby girl bunny is the easiest to bond with a neutered male, as he sees her as no threat. Obviously you will have to be prepared to get her spayed asap though so her hormones dont break down the bond as she grows up.

The other option is to get a baby bunny from a breeder, but again you face the separate accomodation (you'll have to let her settle before bonding), spayin costs, unknown health/teeth problems and bonding will be difficult, although I guess it would be easier if you could get a shed?


Dont give up, I think it would be good if you started saving now, so that when your dad does come around to the idea, you can be ready and not have to wait whilst you save. Its getting warmer all the time so you can get sox neutered in about a month or so. You'll get there, its just going to be a little harder, I think once your dad sees how serious you are he will give in. I think it would also help to go to see a rescue and have the owner explain to your dad that most of the rabbits there are through no fault of their own. After all, this is a pet, no a second hand tv.

eta- just wanted to add that my dad is just the same, so youre not alone here! thankfully I am 20 and I'm at uni so he can disapprove but its not his choice. Although he wont touch 'second hand' animals, he has gotten kittens from a rescue as being babies they are still 'new'. I think its worth seeing if your dad thinks the same way

nessar said:

After neutering its advised that you shouldnt let the bun sit/lie on hay, and just have it in a hay rack - it irritates the wound.

I would definately not bond Sox with a boy if you are not getting from a rescue. Reason being that boys are less likely to bond, and if he is not from a rescue then you are more likely to end up with 2 single buns.

Also, think about how you are going to bond them. You will need minimum 48 hours, often more to spend with them constantly, even at night , and this will be really hard if they are outside. If you go to a rescue they will bond them for you.

I think your focus has to be persuading you dad to go to a rescue - you are actually less likely to get an ill bunny as they have all been checked and you will know which ones are ill!

Also females are less smelly (much less!) and the only extra health problem I'm aware of is uterine cancer - the risk of which is removed by spaying. They are no more expensive from rescues either.

Do you think your dad would be happy to get a rescue baby bunny? That way it hasnt been given up by anyone and so doesnt have the social stigma attatched. Rescues often have litters born in their care. I was told by a rescue that a baby girl bunny is the easiest to bond with a neutered male, as he sees her as no threat. Obviously you will have to be prepared to get her spayed asap though so her hormones dont break down the bond as she grows up.

The other option is to get a baby bunny from a breeder, but again you face the separate accomodation (you'll have to let her settle before bonding), spayin costs, unknown health/teeth problems and bonding will be difficult, although I guess it would be easier if you could get a shed?


Dont give up, I think it would be good if you started saving now, so that when your dad does come around to the idea, you can be ready and not have to wait whilst you save. Its getting warmer all the time so you can get sox neutered in about a month or so. You'll get there, its just going to be a little harder, I think once your dad sees how serious you are he will give in. I think it would also help to go to see a rescue and have the owner explain to your dad that most of the rabbits there are through no fault of their own. After all, this is a pet, no a second hand tv.

Click to expand...

My friends mum is really quite rabbit savvy,she says she's bonded males before, and she says she'll help me/do it for me(the bonding) I have a shed I know females are much less smelly, dad doesn't agree though :roll: (I have no idea why ) I have money saved up for Sox's neuter and my birthday is in July, so its really good timing, I could get him a friend for my birthday

And okay, no hay except in rack, I'm gonna write everything down that people have told me
Thanks everyone