PDA

View Full Version : holiday dilema x



shell1805
07-02-2011, 09:52 PM
how inconvinient is this, my mum (aka bunny boarder) is going on holiday the same week as me :roll: the cheek of it!!! ;)

however on a serious note im in a dilema with this. my OH asked his parents to have them, which i thought would be fine. however his mum then went on to say ' one thing, the buns will of course have there own room and the dogs wont be allowed in there but when we went camping last the dogs caught a wild rabbit and killed it' :shock::cry:

now she has promised that the buns will be kept in the spare room with the door closed etc but im now panicing incase something goes wrong. my OH has said that his mum wouldn't let anything happen but what if it does. im now in such a hard position as i dont want to offend anyone or give them the impression that i dont trust them.


what do i do??

x

Honeybean
07-02-2011, 09:55 PM
You could just find somewhere else, like a bunny hotel and say that you didn't want to put your OH's mum to any trouble....

Grin
07-02-2011, 09:56 PM
Are you able to pay for a service? I'm having a pet sitter come to the house twice a day when we are away. It's quite reasonable for what i've asked of her and you could then use the excuse that the buns will be in familiar territory, wont have to travel and you wont need to bother family etc???

shell1805
07-02-2011, 10:04 PM
see i thought of both those options and money is not a problem, its the act my OH doesnt see why i am worried and wants the buns to go there. its like he sees it as an insult against his mum if they dont go there. i even said well why cant she pop in here every day and i then got told 'that would put her out' and considering every time they go away we look after their chickens and have to go to their house every morning and night i didnt think it was asking too much in return :roll:

Starlight
07-02-2011, 10:08 PM
We do indoor boarding here if you were looking for somewhere. :wave:

shell1805
07-02-2011, 10:11 PM
We do indoor boarding here if you were looking for somewhere. :wave:

thanks hun, if i can get him to agree i might just book with you, but i dont think this is gonna be a fight i will win :cry: im really worried x

Starlight
07-02-2011, 10:14 PM
When is it that you are going away? I'll have a flat in Kingston until June ish time, so can always pop in/live in for the time if he is more comfortable with them staying in their own environment. :)

I know how stressfull it is. Granted since having my group I have never had a holiday, but I often wonder if I ever did want to go away, who could look after/accomodate my 5 :oops:

shell1805
07-02-2011, 10:18 PM
see its not really about the buns anymore i think, more the princible that i dont want them going to his parents. he thinks i dont trust them which ok might be partly true but i dont trust many people with my buns. my mum has a strict list she has to follow and i call her every night :oops:

we're right on the border of kingston too x

Starlight
07-02-2011, 10:20 PM
Ahh I see.
If you manage to get him to see your reasoning and he agrees, you are more than welcome to email me :)

shell1805
07-02-2011, 10:23 PM
you're a star hun :) *big hug*

(just hope he agrees)

Starlight
07-02-2011, 10:26 PM
No problem :)

(I know how stubborn men can be! :roll:)

shell1805
07-02-2011, 10:28 PM
stubborn is an understatement, and i know how his mum will react too :(
at the end of the day they are my buns, i'd take them with me if i could :oops: x

rabbitapril
07-02-2011, 10:30 PM
I would be very worried, one mistake with dogs could be tragic.:(
I would care more about ensuring the safety of my buns than upsetting some one.
They will get over it.

Honeybean
07-02-2011, 10:31 PM
Perhaps you should sit him down and explain how precious your buns are and that you would just worry the whole time you were away about the dogs and buns. Say its not that you don't trust his mum, but you would never forgive yourself if anything accidentally happended. I am sure his mum would understand. He is just been overly sensitive towards his family. Of course you trust them, but accidents do happen.

He is being silly really, you probably will need to be gentle with him though as men can be fairly childish and protective of their mothers. :roll:

Good luck

shell1805
07-02-2011, 10:34 PM
and my buns are used to dogs, they wouldnt know if one was trying to hurt them as they are too trusting:

http://i238.photobucket.com/albums/ff202/shell1805/086.jpg

case in point :shock:

x

shell1805
07-02-2011, 10:36 PM
Perhaps you should sit him down and explain how precious your buns are and that you would just worry the whole time you were away about the dogs and buns. Say its not that you don't trust his mum, but you would never forgive yourself if anything accidentally happended. I am sure his mum would understand. He is just been overly sensitive towards his family. Of course you trust them, but accidents do happen.

He is being silly really, you probably will need to be gentle with him though as men can be fairly childish and protective of their mothers. :roll:

Good luck


a mumma's boy is an understatement :roll:
either way i dont win :(

Honeybean
07-02-2011, 10:38 PM
and my buns are used to dogs, they wouldnt know if one was trying to hurt them as they are too trusting:

http://i238.photobucket.com/albums/ff202/shell1805/086.jpg

case in point :shock:

x

Now that is a GORGEOUS pic. :love::love:

shell1805
07-02-2011, 10:40 PM
Now that is a GORGEOUS pic. :love::love:



they laugh in the face of sterotyping ;)
(what with sully being a 'hunting' dog and all, he was a soppy thing :roll:)

Honeybean
07-02-2011, 10:40 PM
a mumma's boy is an understatement :roll:
either way i dont win :(

Ok..... what about another angle.... find someone who will look after them, lie if you have to.... but tell him that they want to look after the bun to have a trial run before their rescue bun is ready, as they have not had buns before. That way noone will get hurt feelings and your're off the hook.:lol:

shell1805
07-02-2011, 10:42 PM
Ok..... what about another angle.... find someone who will look after them, lie if you have to.... but tell him that they want to look after the bun to have a trial run before their rescue bun is ready, as they have not had buns before. That way noone will get hurt feelings and your're off the hook.:lol:

you my friend is a GENIUS!!!!!!!!!!! :D

Honeybean
07-02-2011, 10:46 PM
you my friend is a GENIUS!!!!!!!!!!! :D

Yay :wave::wave: Glad to be of service. Hope it works. :lol::lol:


I am not that keen on my mother-in-law so think up some devious ideas at times to avoid situations. Plus I have to be a bit devious with my husband too. ie if I have been shopping hide all new purchases etc. Always draw cash at where possible so that hubby doesn't know how much buns are costing!! :lol::lol:

BTW I used to live in Surbiton near the Fire Station.

shell1805
07-02-2011, 10:48 PM
im just down the road from the fire station, near hollyfield school. villiers road x

Honeybean
07-02-2011, 10:54 PM
im just down the road from the fire station, near hollyfield school. villiers road x

I remember villiers Road and the school. Mind you, it was 13 years ago. :lol:

shell1805
07-02-2011, 10:56 PM
:lol: still least ya know what i was going on about ;) x

Honeybean
08-02-2011, 07:01 PM
:lol: still least ya know what i was going on about ;) x

Yep, true. Keep me posted let me know how it goes! ;)

Kx

shell1805
08-02-2011, 07:10 PM
:censored: that man of mine is so pig headed i could scream at times!!!! he will not see my side of things and has told me 'ive asked my mum now and so we cant change the plans'!! :shock:

Honeybean
08-02-2011, 09:44 PM
:shock:
:censored: that man of mine is so pig headed i could scream at times!!!! he will not see my side of things and has told me 'ive asked my mum now and so we cant change the plans'!! :shock:

Hmmmm don't panic. Alls not lost. How well do you get on with his mum? Why not go direct to her and tell her, you're really sorry to mess her about, but you have a friend who wants to have a trial week with buns before she decides that she can cope with being a bunny mummy. That you are REALLY sorry to muck her about, but you really want to give your friend (AKA bunny hotel!) the chance and this would be the ideal time. You realise its mucking her about, as plans have already been agreed but would she really mind if you change the plans to help your friend out.

I know its a bit devious, but if you go straight to her, then how can he be upset. I am sure she will be fine with it. After all she is an adult.... He is probably being a baby and really unflexible because he's got it sorted in his head and can't cope with alterations (my OH is like that).

Either that or he's scared of his mum?:shock:

How does that sound?

That way it takes the pressure off him to deal with the change of plans. It might make him cross with you but, you'll have taken control and nipped this in the bud.

Remember they are your bun/buns and you need to do the right thing by them, which makes you happy and worry free. Don't let him take control of this.

Do I sound like a right bossy cow?!!:oops:

shell1805
08-02-2011, 11:02 PM
not at all you sound like the right person i need to make me see sense right now. its very easy to get emotionally snow balled into something by someone you love and thats what i feel is happening right now between me and my OH :(

Honeybean
09-02-2011, 07:02 PM
not at all you sound like the right person i need to make me see sense right now. its very easy to get emotionally snow balled into something by someone you love and thats what i feel is happening right now between me and my OH :(

I know what you mean. What did you think to my suggestion re the mother?

shell1805
09-02-2011, 08:46 PM
tried to tell her today and she said 'oh, well i dont think that is very wise. waht if something happens whille you are away and your friemd cant cope. mch better they come here and then when you are home they could have the buns for a weekend.' :shock: what could i say to that, that wouldnt offend her?? :evil: im gonna blow my lid if this goes on much longer x

Honeybean
09-02-2011, 09:25 PM
tried to tell her today and she said 'oh, well i dont think that is very wise. waht if something happens whille you are away and your friemd cant cope. mch better they come here and then when you are home they could have the buns for a weekend.' :shock: what could i say to that, that wouldnt offend her?? :evil: im gonna blow my lid if this goes on much longer x

Blimey. :shock: I know she means well, but, you sound pushed about. How old are you, if you don't mind me asking? Why is everying making decisions for you?

Are you good at telling fibs and sounding convincing?

shell1805
09-02-2011, 09:36 PM
im 26 and married :oops:
hmmmmmmmmm telling fibs?? i guess im not too bad :lol:

Honeybean
09-02-2011, 09:39 PM
Blimey. :shock: I know she means well, but, you sound pushed about. How old are you, if you don't mind me asking? Why is everying making decisions for you?

Are you good at telling fibs and sounding convincing?

I just read back my last post, which might seem a bit rude. :oops: The written word can sometimes be misinterpreted.

The reason I was asking how old you are roughly (20's, 30's, 40's etc) was that I am trying to gauge how you can tackle this.

It gives me a better understanding of why they are treating you like this too. Say you if you were 16 then I could sort of understand why everyone is being slightly controlling etc. If you are in your 30's then my suggestion would be er different to if you were 16!! :lol:

Anyway, happy to help with suggestions, but I don't want to boss you about too.:shock:

Honeybean
09-02-2011, 09:49 PM
im 26 and married :oops:
hmmmmmmmmm telling fibs?? i guess im not too bad :lol:

Ok so you're not 16. Phew!:lol:

Ok......how about this as an idea?

You have promised them to your friend, (who you trust). She is a vet nurse so she will know exactly what she is looking for (incase anything went wrong). She just wants a trial run to see what she thinks and if her OH enjoys them too...

Well this fib stack up with your hubby? Does he know all your friends and their occupations?

I would just feel so :censored: cross that everyone is bossing you about. Are you able to stand up for yourself or do they just not listen to you?:shock:

shell1805
09-02-2011, 09:57 PM
the problem is mine and my OH upbringing i think. my parents were pretty lad back but his parents... well lets just say mum rules the family. its caused so many arguments in the past and ive got to be tactful. my OH knows all my friends thats the thing and its not like i can tell his mum and him other stories as they will talk i know it and then world war 3. he is the most understanding guy... untill it comes to his family and then i get all this :censored:
hun you are not bossing me about at all, its nce having someone listen to me xx

Honeybean
09-02-2011, 10:14 PM
the problem is mine and my OH upbringing i think. my parents were pretty lad back but his parents... well lets just say mum rules the family. its caused so many arguments in the past and ive got to be tactful. my OH knows all my friends thats the thing and its not like i can tell his mum and him other stories as they will talk i know it and then world war 3. he is the most understanding guy... untill it comes to his family and then i get all this :censored:
hun you are not bossing me about at all, its nce having someone listen to me xx

Oh dear, what a pickle. :roll:

Well I realise from what you've said that you can't lie to your hubby and his mum (and tbh telling fibs can sometimes catch you out).

How about just a little twist of truth? I would just say that the buns are going to this person who is a friend you have met through the forum. That way you are not strictly telling fibs. Be strong and just stand up to her and say that its what you want. They are your buns and its what you have decided. It really shouldn't be such a big deal. :evil:

The only backlash I can see is that she might have a go at your OH and tell him off for having a difficult wife. :lol: Sorry. :oops: Which obviously in turn will cause some friction between you.

I can't think of a devious gentle way of hoodwinking everyone. I am a bit dive in with my big feet.

Obviously you would need to be as tactful as poss. When I have tricky situations, I am really gushing and complimentry and massively polite and grateful etc and it does seem to calm the storm a bit.

Basically this is not going to be easy. But, you are going to have to do this, otherwise, its going to set a president for everytime your mum is away at the same time as you.

Final option, beg your mum to rearrange her hol?:shock: