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Knowing a bonded pair will part

Motsbarn

New Kit
I have 3 sets of bonded bunnies (male n female). My oldest pair jess n Molly have been together for 5 yrs and love each other deeply. The female ( Molly) sleeps on top of jess, they are forever washing on another and they are never separated and go to the vets together, even when only one is due an appt.
Both had Ec several years ago , Molly has since had myx and we managed to nurse them back to full health. Molly was diagnosed with an abcsess in her stomach in may 2010 and has been on daily medicine. The vet visits regularly and we have had many discussions that we keep going until Molly shows signs of not leading an active life and not going about her daily duties. The vet came a few weeks ago and said the mass has got larger and we only have a matter of weeks.....a few weeks have passed and I am struggling with taken her to the vets as she is still showing signs of enjoying life but I know this mass is consuming her...her spine has started change shape due to the abcsess. So I have booked an appt.


I don't wait too leave this too late but yet I don't want to cut her life short....this is such a hard decision...I am also stressing about jess and what I need to do to support him.

- should I take jess with me when the time comes.
- should he spent time with her body
- do I need to think about bonding him again or not?

If anybody has any advice, it will be warmly received
 
No advice I'm afraid but my thoughts are with you at what will be a heartbreaking time.

I fear a similar situation with Flora and Parsnip - both of whom turn 8 early this year. They're sister and Brother and are inseparable.
 
i would say ..yes to letting him see her when she has gone, let him decide when hes spent his final time with her..
yes to getting him another partner ...but when hes grieved and ready
dont know about him being there if she gets pts at the vet:?
i do sympathise as we have lost one of a pair before and it was hard to know what to do...
i hope she goes very peacefully:love:
 
No advice sorry, I've only ever had one bonded pair before and they died together, so I've never had to face that situation. But I am thinking of you in this tough time. :(
 
Aww I am sorry you're having to make this terrible decision :cry: I think you know whats best for her though and will of course do the very best by her.
I personally would take Jess along to the vets to keep her company but not let him see her being PTS. if posdible Id have him in a different room at that point I think. Id then place her body back into the carrier with him and take her home for a few hours for him to grieve. It will be very hard for you all but if you can allow him some time alone with her.
Again I am so so sorry you're going through this :cry: Take comfort in tge fact that she is still a happy bun and you are showing incredible compassion and selflessness letting her go now xxxxxxxx
 
Aww I am sorry you're having to make this terrible decision :cry: I think you know whats best for her though and will of course do the very best by her.
I personally would take Jess along to the vets to keep her company but not let him see her being PTS. if posdible Id have him in a different room at that point I think. Id then place her body back into the carrier with him and take her home for a few hours for him to grieve. It will be very hard for you all but if you can allow him some time alone with her.
Again I am so so sorry you're going through this :cry: Take comfort in tge fact that she is still a happy bun and you are showing incredible compassion and selflessness letting her go now xxxxxxxx

Thank you so much to all for your kind words and advice, it's so nice to seek advice from likeminded people who understand our fury friends
 
I am in a similar position with Sue and Peggy. They are probably about five now and, as far as I know, have always been together (are former BARC buns) and adore each other.

Sue has only half a kidney working and lost a lot of weight. Despite my vet intimating it would be best to have her PTS I didn't think she was ready and by changing her diet managed to get her to put weight on. Sadly, I've noticed that she is getting thinner again. In desperation I bought some porridge oats yesterday and she has nommed all those in her bowl so I am hoping, against hope, daily oats will enable her to maintain her weight or put some back on.

Being realistic though I know I am going to have to make the decision to have her PTS at some point and I know Peggy will be totally devestated. She has stopped eating a couple of times before and I am worried she will go into stasis.

I know it's best for Peggy to see Sue after she has been PTS but I've never done that before and I am not sure I am brave enough to watch Peggy try and wake Sue up. I am also planning to move house later this year (need to reduce my mortgage) so will have her cremated rather than bury her in the garden as I usually do with my beloved fur family.

I do feel for you Motsbarn. It is a horrible position to be in and I send you loads of vibes for strength and courage for the future.

Sorry my post is so long:oops:
 
:cry: oh gods im so so sorry you are in this position.....ive not had buns live that long or be that old.:cry:.

BUT i have had pairs lose partners and each time theres been soo much grief inducing stasis..i find this the most common problem:(

bif.my very first rescue bun...she was found running round our lounge and then i saw oscars body in the dog crate and she then tried to wake him up..it was soul destroying.
BUT she got worse and lay down to die a few days later...
Oddly enough sometimes the only cure is another bunny..whether a buddy to bond or just a bun to share their space with seems to give most buns the incentivie to get up and carry on.

i borrowed bertie and within seconds he was washing her head as if to wash away her pain as hed lost his wifey 5 motnhs before.
Bif was up and eating and running crazy because he was in the lounge...eventually we adopted him and they were inseperable.

but a lot happened...bifs other partner bandit had to be pts as he was dying of acute bloat..and yes she was in my arms aS HE WAS BEING PUT TO SLEEP AND I PUT HER WITH HIS BODY BUT SHE JUST WANTED OUT.
sorry caps lock. willow died not long after and bif and bertie rebonded themselves through grief.
She was very ill after another dental and she was at the vets for about 3 or 4 days. bertie kept looking for her and then thought she was dead...when she came home he was so happy but she didnt want to live with him.
but when she became ill and then had to be pts..him and merlin grieved..and they never even saw her body.

when my cat salem died we had to let each of them spend time with his body...

poor dazy-mae and her sister..both BARC buns came to me and within 3 weeks dazy-mae was pts and blubell was in the other room and then saski the vet brought her in and we tried to show her her sisters body and she did what bif used...tried to run and hide.

also bif wouldnt psend time snuggling with oscar when he was dying..or bandit..bertie wouldnt go near willow either when she was dying.

i truly believe they know when another pet in the house let alone their partner/sibling/friend is ill and dying....

and when weve come home with empty carrier and me in tears..they sniff then go hide.

merlin got hospitalised the day after dazy-mae was pts and bertie then became convinced that merlin had died and he was very ill spent two days being nursed seriously by us..it was awful....then suddenly bluebell had escpaed again...and we found them together..she was heartbroken and confused and scared,,,,,same for him as he thought melrin was dead. they comforted each other...NO fights or disagreements whatsoever.
they bonded just like that! when merlin came home..bertie was so happy but bluebell wasnt having him in their circle:(

still merlins far from sorted so hes ok up one end of the lounge with us.

i truly believe sometimes the only way to end the grief is to get another bun even bonding isnt in process. some buns bond through grief..or is it just mine!

i thought id see bif doing what she did with oscars body..but she understood he was very very ill and dying..thereby if she was too near him shed be weak and easy prey..its in the buns nature after all.

bif just jumped into my arms and snuggled me. when we got home she called the two cats over and kissed each one on the nose as if she told them and they all went very quiet for a few days.

no one can predict how they wil behave when having a beloved pet is pts let alone how the other pets will act.

all you can do is just be there..you will have shared an experience that is something so sad but has to be done..:(

all i can send is loads of cuddles for you all....xxx

karen hun im so sorry i didnt realsie things were that bad:(

sorry for extra long post.
 
- should I take jess with me when the time comes.
- should he spent time with her body
- do I need to think about bonding him again or not?

What an awful situation, you poor thing :(

Personally, I think I would probably take Jess with you, as they are used to travelling to the vets together and it will probably help to keep Molly calm. But I don't think I'd put Molly back in the carrier with him afterwards, I think I'd carry her home separately and then put them back together. I would worry about Jess feeling 'trapped' in the carrier with her body rather than having a proper opportunity to say goodbye. That will be easier for him at home rather than in the car. Generally speaking, people find that the bun will sniff/groom the body for a while and then eventually, hop away. When they do that, you can remove the body.

There are also some threads on here about personal cremation which may be something worth you thinking about in advance - you can take the bun yourself rather than via your vets and it is often much more personal and cheaper too. Personally I do think it's important to show them the body as it seems to help them to understand that the other rabbit isn't coming back. If they don't see the other one, they don't realise what has happened and can spend a long time looking for their pal.

Rebonding seems to vary between buns. Some buns are absolutely desperate for company and pine and need rebonding almost straight away, others take a week or two to grieve before they are able to be rebonded. If you are able, personally I would try another bond when you feel the time is right - would you be thinking about taking on another bun or trying Jess with one of your other pairs.

Big hugs, I'm sure you'll make the right decisions at the right time xxx
 
I am in a similar position with Sue and Peggy. They are probably about five now and, as far as I know, have always been together (are former BARC buns) and adore each other.

Sue has only half a kidney working and lost a lot of weight. Despite my vet intimating it would be best to have her PTS I didn't think she was ready and by changing her diet managed to get her to put weight on. Sadly, I've noticed that she is getting thinner again. In desperation I bought some porridge oats yesterday and she has nommed all those in her bowl so I am hoping, against hope, daily oats will enable her to maintain her weight or put some back on.

Being realistic though I know I am going to have to make the decision to have her PTS at some point and I know Peggy will be totally devestated. She has stopped eating a couple of times before and I am worried she will go into stasis.

I know it's best for Peggy to see Sue after she has been PTS but I've never done that before and I am not sure I am brave enough to watch Peggy try and wake Sue up. I am also planning to move house later this year (need to reduce my mortgage) so will have her cremated rather than bury her in the garden as I usually do with my beloved fur family.

I do feel for you Motsbarn. It is a horrible position to be in and I send you loads of vibes for strength and courage for the future.

Sorry my post is so long:oops:

I am sorry to hear of your situation, through love, care and dedication sometimes we exceed vets expectations against the odds.....you may well be able to give her a longer life if she improves... Thankfully, we know our bunnies to understand when they are down and not 100%. it's so hard knowing when but we can take solice it's a final act of love and we will do whatever we can to make it as peaceful as possible.*Thank you for your comments, My thoughts are with you as well.
 
:cry: oh gods im so so sorry you are in this position.....ive not had buns live that long or be that old.:cry:.

BUT i have had pairs lose partners and each time theres been soo much grief inducing stasis..i find this the most common problem:(

bif.my very first rescue bun...she was found running round our lounge and then i saw oscars body in the dog crate and she then tried to wake him up..it was soul destroying.
BUT she got worse and lay down to die a few days later...
Oddly enough sometimes the only cure is another bunny..whether a buddy to bond or just a bun to share their space with seems to give most buns the incentivie to get up and carry on.

i borrowed bertie and within seconds he was washing her head as if to wash away her pain as hed lost his wifey 5 motnhs before.
Bif was up and eating and running crazy because he was in the lounge...eventually we adopted him and they were inseperable.

but a lot happened...bifs other partner bandit had to be pts as he was dying of acute bloat..and yes she was in my arms aS HE WAS BEING PUT TO SLEEP AND I PUT HER WITH HIS BODY BUT SHE JUST WANTED OUT.
sorry caps lock. willow died not long after and bif and bertie rebonded themselves through grief.
She was very ill after another dental and she was at the vets for about 3 or 4 days. bertie kept looking for her and then thought she was dead...when she came home he was so happy but she didnt want to live with him.
but when she became ill and then had to be pts..him and merlin grieved..and they never even saw her body.

when my cat salem died we had to let each of them spend time with his body...

poor dazy-mae and her sister..both BARC buns came to me and within 3 weeks dazy-mae was pts and blubell was in the other room and then saski the vet brought her in and we tried to show her her sisters body and she did what bif used...tried to run and hide.

also bif wouldnt psend time snuggling with oscar when he was dying..or bandit..bertie wouldnt go near willow either when she was dying.

i truly believe they know when another pet in the house let alone their partner/sibling/friend is ill and dying....

and when weve come home with empty carrier and me in tears..they sniff then go hide.

merlin got hospitalised the day after dazy-mae was pts and bertie then became convinced that merlin had died and he was very ill spent two days being nursed seriously by us..it was awful....then suddenly bluebell had escpaed again...and we found them together..she was heartbroken and confused and scared,,,,,same for him as he thought melrin was dead. they comforted each other...NO fights or disagreements whatsoever.
they bonded just like that! when merlin came home..bertie was so happy but bluebell wasnt having him in their circle:(

still merlins far from sorted so hes ok up one end of the lounge with us.

i truly believe sometimes the only way to end the grief is to get another bun even bonding isnt in process. some buns bond through grief..or is it just mine!

i thought id see bif doing what she did with oscars body..but she understood he was very very ill and dying..thereby if she was too near him shed be weak and easy prey..its in the buns nature after all.

bif just jumped into my arms and snuggled me. when we got home she called the two cats over and kissed each one on the nose as if she told them and they all went very quiet for a few days.

no one can predict how they wil behave when having a beloved pet is pts let alone how the other pets will act.

all you can do is just be there..you will have shared an experience that is something so sad but has to be done..:(

all i can send is loads of cuddles for you all....xxx

karen hun im so sorry i didnt realsie things were that bad:(

sorry for extra long post.
thank you for your comments and sharing.... You have given me other things to think about...we have a 13 pet household
 
What an awful situation, you poor thing :(

Personally, I think I would probably take Jess with you, as they are used to travelling to the vets together and it will probably help to keep Molly calm. But I don't think I'd put Molly back in the carrier with him afterwards, I think I'd carry her home separately and then put them back together. I would worry about Jess feeling 'trapped' in the carrier with her body rather than having a proper opportunity to say goodbye. That will be easier for him at home rather than in the car. Generally speaking, people find that the bun will sniff/groom the body for a while and then eventually, hop away. When they do that, you can remove the body.

There are also some threads on here about personal cremation which may be something worth you thinking about in advance - you can take the bun yourself rather than via your vets and it is often much more personal and cheaper too. Personally I do think it's important to show them the body as it seems to help them to understand that the other rabbit isn't coming back. If they don't see the other one, they don't realise what has happened and can spend a long time looking for their pal.

Rebonding seems to vary between buns. Some buns are absolutely desperate for company and pine and need rebonding almost straight away, others take a week or two to grieve before they are able to be rebonded. If you are able, personally I would try another bond when you feel the time is right - would you be thinking about taking on another bun or trying Jess with one of your other pairs.

Big hugs, I'm sure you'll make the right decisions at the right time xxx
Thank you, your sharing as I have never been though this before your advice will help me do right by my fury friends... I think I will find another rescue female aged similar to try and bond him with....when the time comes I might try and post on here to see if anybody has an elderly bun needing a home. I am struggling to think that far in advance but need to for jess.
 
Thank you for your kind comments, Motsbarn - I thought you may be cross for me for writing so much about my buns on your thread.

Reading others' comments and suggestions has really helped, especially the idea of personal cremation. It seems incredibly morbid but I will start researching that now so I have a plan for when the time comes.

I have nine buns and nine cats and hadn't realised they could all be affected by a death.:cry:

I love seeing bonded buns snuggle together and share their lives - but the downside is having to witness their pain in addition to my own when one of the pair goes to the Bridge.

Lots of vibes being sent to Molly xxx
 
i have a morbid collection of little wooden caskets im afraid:( the only one i havent got is my first ever bun my beloved psycho bun with everything wrong with her. she went for communal cremation at the vets but her fave soft toy went with her.

theres various pet crematoriums around....i have used the cambridge one the most depending on which vets i am at and which they use.
some even collect from the door...

www.petundertakers.co.uk

theyre based in southampton


this ones in hertfirdshire but have used..they collect from vets...all over i think

www.cpccares.com

yes animals grieve for their partners..friends...housemates...even their hoomin friends.

my first housebun grieved so badly for our snuggles puss whod died...she became depressed and lost the will to live...within 2months shed gone and she was never the same after he died.
when she died..our two remaining cats wouldnt eat for 48hrs:shock:

that was the very first time i realised it doesnt matter how close or not pets are..theyre used to having each other around...and for it to change causes them pain..and can lead to illness esp in other buns.

take the carrier usually used and take the two together i agree...and leave the body at the vets....its easier for you both....seems to have been for us each time. gods thats sounds awful doesnt it....each time:(

i hope you can find comfort xxx
 
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