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View Full Version : sorry this is a very depressing thread about what you do when your bun passes away



beccimarie
05-01-2011, 08:29 PM
sorry this is a very depressing thread which is why i explained the title.. its somthing that always makes me think.. when your bun passes or is pts do you show your other bun that he/she has died?

I felt awful when my candy died casper was not in the same hutch as i was still bonding them, i never showed him as i was in such a state.. he looked for her day after day.. i felt awful, i feel i should have shown him.. what are your thoughts?

Again im so sorry about the depressing subject i just think its better to know before hand :roll:

mini lop1
05-01-2011, 08:35 PM
with bonded pairs when thumper died, nan showed mitzi, when mitzi died rosie was with him at the time
when mowgli was pts rosie was there with us at the vets, but she knew she just ignored his body lying there, she did not lick or anything, she acccepted it, she knew why we where going i think

when rosie was pts, i brought her home, cuddled her as she just looked like she was sleeping, locksley looked at me, i then lay her down next to him, he licked her paws her face, then hopped away and sat by me

mitzi and thumper are buried in my nans garden together, and rosie and mowgli are buried by one another in our garden

Bunny Buddy
05-01-2011, 08:41 PM
For a bonded pair I definitely would (unless very traumatic circumstances)

I had a similar situation recently with Elijah and Dot. They had lived side by side for about six weeks and I believe had a kind of bond but not actually bonded. I showed him her body and I wish I hadn't. I believe the prolonged stasis he had 3 weeks later had a lot to do with him seeing her - it really unsettled him. That said, I don't know how he would have been if he hadn't seen her, he might not have had 'closure' on where she was. So, honestly, I don't think there was a right or wrong in your situation either.

Snowy
05-01-2011, 08:43 PM
When a bunny dies I always leave the body with the bunny until they have said their goodbyes, sometimes it's half an hour and sometimes it's a day, they need to know where their partners have gone and what's happened

I would never, ever just take a dead bunny away or not let the other bunny say goodbye

Sky-O
05-01-2011, 08:43 PM
I would show, definitely, if they are fully bonded, unless the rabbit potentially had something contagious that the other one had not been exposed to, or had like been attacked by a fox or something.

I would say that you can't change the past, so try not to focus on it, but maybe learn from it (which is what you are doing), so that you don't find yourself with his huge guilt again. I don't think you did anything wrong, but that doesn't change how you feel about it.

beccimarie
05-01-2011, 08:45 PM
Thank you for the replys, its somthing thats always been on my mind "what to do" casper only stopped looking when i got poppy which seemed to put his mind off it, he found love again :)

i also did not know what candy died of, i think that worried me too as i only had her a couple of weeks, the vets put it down to the stress of rehoming in the end as she was 10 :( i dont know why owners get rid of there buns at that age, just because they wanted to clean out there garage :cry:

Babsie
05-01-2011, 08:47 PM
My thoughts are that, yes, it is important. Don't blame yourself, however, you were in a state of shock and it is always difficult to think straight under these circumstances. I think it helps the other members of your pet family, and have done so with my cats, rabbits and g/pigs. (This is only in recent years, though, as I didn't think about it before). I know it sounds morbid, but I can never bring myself to bury one straightaway, either, I have to leave the one that has died all cosied up in a towel till the next day - it's as though I have to be absolutely certain ... :cry:

beccimarie
05-01-2011, 08:50 PM
My thoughts are that, yes, it is important. Don't blame yourself, however, you were in a state of shock and it is always difficult to think straight under these circumstances. I think it helps the other members of your pet family, and have done so with my cats, rabbits and g/pigs. (This is only in recent years, though, as I didn't think about it before). I know it sounds morbid, but I can never bring myself to bury one straightaway, either, I have to leave the one that has died all cosied up in a towel till the next day - it's as though I have to be absolutely certain ... :cry:

i have never had one been pts before but with our family cat i asked my mum to leave him for a day.. i dont know why but i need to make sure they have gone, the thought of them being alive..

Sky-O
05-01-2011, 08:51 PM
My thoughts are that, yes, it is important. Don't blame yourself, however, you were in a state of shock and it is always difficult to think straight under these circumstances. I think it helps the other members of your pet family, and have done so with my cats, rabbits and g/pigs. (This is only in recent years, though, as I didn't think about it before). I know it sounds morbid, but I can never bring myself to bury one straightaway, either, I have to leave the one that has died all cosied up in a towel till the next day - it' as though I have to be absolutely certain ... :cry:

That doesn't morbid to me. just incredibly sad.

With Flash I really thought I could 'wake him up' by showing him a female rabbit. Funnily enough that didn't work. I also tried to warm him up, and for ages afterwards I wanted to dig him up (and still do sometimes) to warm him up and make sure he's ok, which is pretty messed up. He died at my parents house and is buried t/here and a week after he died I went hunting for him at my house (150 miles away), although he was obviosuly not there and wasn't alive whatever house I was in.

Grief makes us do 'odd' things. We just do whatever we can to try and get through. I understand what you're saying and your reasons behind it.

Babsie
05-01-2011, 08:55 PM
:cry::cry::cry:

Bunny Buddy
05-01-2011, 08:57 PM
My thoughts are that, yes, it is important. Don't blame yourself, however, you were in a state of shock and it is always difficult to think straight under these circumstances. I think it helps the other members of your pet family, and have done so with my cats, rabbits and g/pigs. (This is only in recent years, though, as I didn't think about it before). I know it sounds morbid, but I can never bring myself to bury one straightaway, either, I have to leave the one that has died all cosied up in a towel till the next day - it's as though I have to be absolutely certain ... :cry:

I can't either. I have to bury them the following day. I think with me it's about giving them more time, like it was too soon or something and one more day might make things better :cry::cry: Also I think if I was to bury them straight away it would be accepting of it, that it all came easy for me but I'm not ready to accept it that day. I need to get used to the idea first and say goodbye.

donnamt
05-01-2011, 08:57 PM
i showed Alvin Pearl's body. we took her to the vets alone so i had to bring her home then take her back afterwards.

littleboots
05-01-2011, 09:00 PM
My view is yes too.
Its really hard though to think straight at the time and which ever way we do things we always have some regret or another.
I had to have my gelding pts and I didnt want my mare (his mum) to see.. wrong thing to do i now think.. she looked for him for ages and called for him..
On the other hand.. when I lost one of my cats, I let my dog see her as they were very close.. He saw us bury her in the garden.. Everytime he went in the garden for about a week.. he just lay by her grave.. it broke my heart!!
With the buns I think mine have all seen their deceased partners and as upsetting as it is.. in some way I think it helps them come to terms with their loss..
Oh.. I think Im going to cry now... memories are flooding back:cry:

beccimarie
05-01-2011, 09:19 PM
:cry::cry::cry:

*hug* :( didnt want to upset anyone :(

halfpenny
05-01-2011, 09:25 PM
I don't show the partner the dead body. The only time I've had a rabbit pine for a long time for a partner was when she was with him when he was a sudden death. Its trumatic for them either way.

Babsie
05-01-2011, 09:38 PM
*hug* :( didnt want to upset anyone :(

Please don't worry - just brings back memories doesn't it. I thought it was a very good thread, by the way. :)

littleboots
05-01-2011, 09:45 PM
*hug* :( didnt want to upset anyone :(

Good youre thinking ahead... hopefully way ahead:)
p.s..... Ive stopped blubbering now:lol::lol::lol:

H Maughan
05-01-2011, 09:49 PM
I cry on and off for around three days and then I return back to normality. I remember all the happy memories and that I still have other rabbits that need me to look after them. That usually helps me come to terms with it. The hardest part though is feeding time. I had to stop myself from handing out 5 lots of whatever veg I was feeding when Bebe died.

Life does go on though, I try not to dwell on the fact they're not with me anymore, more the times that they were and how loved they were.

Oh and to add I don't really have a huge attachment to their bodies. I see the body as the shell and once my bunny has passed on I know they're no longer there. Therefore if they are pts at the vets they're left there for communal cremation. If they're home they get buried under our apple tree

Helen xx

beccimarie
05-01-2011, 09:50 PM
Please don't worry - just brings back memories doesn't it. I thought it was a very good thread, by the way. :)

:) i was going to make a thread ages ago but i was worried people would think i was odd asking and make everyone upset :oops: i think it was because i found a picture.. my only picture of dear old candy, although she was only with us a few weeks and casper had not bonded with her.. i did :cry: i loved her so much she had never free ranged before and i loved her first run round the garden binkying.. she seemed so happy :cry:

beccimarie
05-01-2011, 09:51 PM
Good youre thinking ahead... hopefully way ahead:)
p.s..... Ive stopped blubbering now:lol::lol::lol:

oo im so sorry :( feel awful making people cry

littleboots
05-01-2011, 09:57 PM
oo im so sorry :( feel awful making people cry

No...please dont feel awful!!!
I admire you for asking this sensitive question

k.mdaniels
15-01-2011, 04:02 PM
Hi Beccimarie,

Im sitting here with a lump in my throat but glad you started this thread.

I guess there are always things that need to be asked even though you dont really want to or feel that theres no appropiate time. I too have questions and its probably better that they're asked when everythings ok, I'd rather be prepared rather than making regretful decisions later on but then we dont always get the time to prepare :( and in a time of mourning we'll probably always question our decision anyway:(

Question:
My two bunny boys arent bonded, more like arch enemies really but they see each other regulary even though they cant get to one another.
So in years to come when the awful thing happens to one of them should I show the body to the other one?

daisylou
15-01-2011, 04:23 PM
I think this is a really good thread as I am in this position just now. Bojangles died at the vet school last night and I collected him today. I haven't been able to bury him yet as the only place is under their run and I can't move it myself - I'll have to wait till someone can help me tomorrow. The vet school put him in a wee box for me. I don't know if I should be putting him in with Bluebelle or not. She doesn't seem 'anything' just now, but I've never been able to read her feelings like I could with Bojangles.

Is it too late as it's been nearly a whole day or do people think it would still be a good idea?

Thanks

Louise and Bluebelle

Alibunmum
15-01-2011, 04:59 PM
Wow, can't believe this thread has appeared right now. My wee girl has never been a very healthy bun and has always been skinny. Unfortunately she is now losing weight and, although my vets have been fab, we are now facing the decision everyone hates. She's on one last treatment for the next ten days and if she's still losing - which I think is very likely - then she'll have to be pts. I hadn't thought about letting her bonded partner see her afterwards so I'm glad to have read this now. Thank you!